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Before You Say Reconcile...

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annb posted 9/3/2011 22:31 PM


annb posted 9/6/2011 15:03 PM


2yrs+recovering posted 9/7/2011 11:51 AM

These guidelines are the best thing for JFO.

Everyone knows what they need but when you JFO it can be so hard to think.

WS need to be in for the long haul,

lordhasaplan? posted 9/9/2011 09:08 AM


annb posted 9/12/2011 14:41 PM

bumpety bump

annb posted 9/15/2011 11:42 AM


annb posted 9/19/2011 12:00 PM


crickett posted 9/19/2011 18:21 PM

[This message edited by crickett at 3:30 PM, September 22nd (Thursday)]

Will-I-Ever-Know posted 9/22/2011 00:10 AM


annb posted 9/23/2011 09:14 AM


annb posted 9/30/2011 08:41 AM


sudra posted 10/2/2011 18:24 PM


annb posted 10/6/2011 20:53 PM


runsmiley posted 10/10/2011 02:24 AM

thanks for posting this. I'm still trying to fuddle through the details, and it seems like WS is falling into the rugsweeping category :(

PlainsGirl29 posted 10/10/2011 08:56 AM

What if wh is rugsweeping but has ended contact with ow, does that mean there could just be a break in the A, or that an A with so3one else is likely in the future? I am full on in limbo and hate it.

still confounded posted 10/10/2011 21:46 PM

Plainsgirl, have you read the post 20/20 Hindsight? I'll bump it for you now. It might help answer your question. But basically rugsweeping doesn't help with reconciliation. Stopping the A is only the beginning, not the solution, of healing a relationship from the damage of infidelity.

bufffalo posted 10/12/2011 23:36 PM

beachbrenda posted 10/13/2011 14:36 PM

Okay, people... here's my dilema-- My WH looks like the reconciliation side of this thing, but I don't trust him AT ALL! One false move and I think he's still at it.

I got a random phone call last week. He swears up and down and sideways that it was random, but I'm thinking not.

I got a weird text from him today... I makes me think he was talking to someone else, but texted me by accident.

I have looked through his work phone--all the texts are to/from me (with my name on each one)... What if he just deletes texts from an OW or uses my name to label her number, as well?

This is killing me--the paranoia... Does it ever go away? How is that even possible?

Yesterday was our 15th wedding anniversary... I've been a ball of tears and anxiety for 3 days...

rejectedluv posted 10/13/2011 14:55 PM

Thank you for posting! This is really an eye opener. I can say that currently my WH is a mix, but I would lean more towards Rugsweeper. This hurts more than the EA I think. I have asked him specifically for several things that I need (as recently as Monday) and he has yet to do one of them, so not sure where we are headed. Somethings we can only discuss with MC as a neutral 3rd party right now. DDay was about a month or so ago. Keep working on it. He tells me NC with OW from the EA, so I believe this, and he made other strides, but I don't want to be in a naive position like I was prior to Dday ever again-PROTECT PROTECT PROTECT my kids and myself!!

featherweight posted 10/13/2011 15:26 PM


tomz posted 10/13/2011 19:28 PM

WOW, I just realized that we never R'd with the first PAs 12 years ago. Why should I believe that we'll R with this one?

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