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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair - Part 25
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 10:27 AM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

miracle- I agree with Allgood...you must have a wonderful relationship with your kids for them to want to have the after party at your house! how great is that?

Nell- glad to hear you're feeling more upbeat.

Honest- going off meds is a little tough but Nell's advice about EMDR, yoga, meditation etc. is good..
I have gotten back to yoga and it is helping me de-stress.

Fun- I'm sorry that you seem so down again.
I have to tell you that eventhough I may sound like Pollyana.... that I had a really, really hard time dealing with the LTA.
I cried every single day for the 1st year post d-day...
I would pull myself up and start to feel better..more positive and then something would trigger me and I would be plunged into depression, grief, anger, etc.
This roller coaster went on for years.
I was obsessed with the MOW etc. etc.
It really wasn't until about 6 months ago that I started to turn a corner in terms of true acceptance, forgiveness, understanding of myself, my husband, my marriage etc.
So... be kind to yourself...
even with a very remorseful spouse... healing from a LTA takes time...


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh. I just had a total meltdown on the kitchen floor. I've been short with the kids and then I realized that the painters are coming tomorrow and the house I'd going on the market next week and I am just so SAD. I built this place and threw everything in me into nesting. And it was all just a big lie. All the things WH stole from me . . . And my home too.

I know, I know, poor me. Whatever. But I think I'll throw the pity party anyway.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dont know how long i actually have...scrawny boy is taking a regeant and will be calling me either any minute or within the hour...and laundry too might be callin me....and i won't go into who i would really like to be callin me...


anyways


m3: it sucks when you are faced with leaving what you have...whether it be a home, a marriage or a job...change is scary, not to mention the memories are sacred sometimes.....but the memories will always be with you, just not in the form of a house....

and im thinkin a fresh start in a new place totally untouched by the 'a' is a great thing...so embrace it....and remember the memories will always be with you.....


allgood: its nice to know someone gets me...yes i am looking forward to all but the not being able to go to sleep by a reasonable hour..but i will get over that...

i gots snacks up the wahzoo and pool toys for big kids too...so i am sure they will have a ball, i just hope that all the kids DO come...they are not the most reliable bunch...but i am sure that most will....and the next day is the first of a few grad parties for them...for the boy whose sister just died....so i am sure there will be lots of emotion goin on....

ahh..laundry callin....bbl

(((tribe)))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ok, i could finish now..

fun: i am sorry to hear you feelin so blah about life...although i understand it....more then understand it...feel it myself more often then not...it sucks how this whole experience has warped our outlooks on life...


honest: what the news on him comin back?..please tell us he changed his mind..

and i am glad you are workin through the attacks..i believe they will get less and less as long as you stay on it....

oh, and the pic of your son...gives my tummy mommy willies...


njgal: i don't see you as a pollyanna....i see you as a woman who has gone to hell and back and is finally beginning to feel free of the mess of that hell...


nell: your ic in the yoga class....i would feel uncomfy too...kind of like it intruding....and she is supposed to be a safe place, intruders dont feel safe....if she ended up in the class by sheer coincidence..fine, but if she planned it to see you there...creepy..

ok, i think im done now, its at least all i can remember...

(((tribe)))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
dontknowanything
♀ Member
Member # 31912
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What constitutes a LTA? WH had a 7 month EA, PA during about a 4 month period. Is this a LTA?

I struggle with the fact that he decided everyday for 7 months to risk his family life with me and the kids, every time he chose to FB message, IM message, and call OW. I struggle that on a daily basis, he chose to deceive me and demonize me repeatedly so he could get the attention that he felt validated him.


Posts: 103 | Registered: Apr 2011
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

dontknowanything.

Someone smarter than me will be along soon with a answer to your question. I do not really know the rule about this.

Women of the tribe. Did you all ban the men from the LTA fourm? I did not get a memo. The answer I would prefer is that you banned all of them but me, cause you all liked me the best.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

don't know anything --

Most of our spouses had A's ranging from 1 1/2 years to 30 years. The general rule of thumb is about 2 years. I'd say the average here is about 8 years.

Having said that -- 7 months would have sucked just as much. Please feel free to post.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know, I know, poor me. Whatever. But I think I'll throw the pity party anyway.
M3... I think you are entitled but then I have had many a meltdown in this house. We moved back here in '04 and I bought the house as H was in another province on business, readied the previous home that I loved - despite only being there 5 yrs - for selling & supervised the packing of fragile items and packed the rest with the help of friends (did I mention that my H was away on business), greeted the movers at this house, and did the unpacking and settling in (with the help of middle son who hadn't got his call to the Navy yet). H was here to get the keys from the lawyer on possession date and left again to finish up at the old house. All the while I had no suspicion of his online emotion A with an employee who lived here but he had helped get another job when we were transferred. He had plenty of time to spend with her when he came back at seasonal busy times for the company. Lots more to the story but for now... I say grieve for the place you put your heart and soul into.

Can't stay... H has gone to pick up mil so we can go for sushi tonight with oldest son and dil. It is his 60th bday today. I got him a 'numbered' birthday card. no sentiment but he loved it! Thank you Hallmark!

later, gators {{{LTA}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Men are not banned as far as I know... did we not just wish you all a happy Father's Day?

You guys are the brothers I don't have IRL!

whoosh... outta here before H and mil arrive!


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys are the brothers I don't have IRL!

Nell seconds.

So weird you wrote this today, lostsuol (= "u" lost your soul?). Must be a tribe thing. I was thinking this morning about a college student from Africa that my family "adopted"... church and dinner on Sundays with my family, all holidays together, etc. So at our wedding, this big black man with a heavy accent walks up to Mr. Nell and gives him the "if you ever hurt Nell, you will have to answer to me" speech. And Mr. Nell, never having met the guy before, was like WTF?!?! Who the hell are YOU? Anyway, this morning, I was thinking, hm... maybe I should give my African brother a call...

m3. I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Big hugs, honey. Onward.

dip. How does that go? "Mom always liked you best." I like you best. But don't tell the others.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{{{M3}}}}}

I truly, truly understand what you are going through. I've done it a quite a few times where you spend so much time, energy, thought and emotion picking out things and choosing and planning things for your home. It's not just decorating, it's making your HOME for you family. A lot of thought goes into how you will use the house, picking out tiles that you feel you'll love because you will live with them a looong time. (we thought)

I did that with the house overseas to find out OW was always there when I was here for the summer. Spent so much time looking at magazines and planning, etc. We BUILT the house......

Why do we put so much emotion into these things? Hopes and dreams are involved. It's almost like since we are little girls we dream of our wedding day and the dress.....it's a dream. So is the house and the planning for it and the decor. As if we have some control over the "happily ever after" perhaps???

It's not only that, we put something of ourselves into our homes, they are not just houses.

M3, we have lost so much. It's ok to cry. Please continue to vent here. Have as many meltdowns as you need. You are going through sooo much and still are going through a lot, plus you have 4 kids.

Nell: I'll have to look into EMDR. I think my wounds keep getting opened up, and there are some that I don't think will truly ever heal...

Miracle: Have fun with the prom! We have to focus as much as we can on the good times.

Dip: When did you think we banned the guys??? We love our LTA brothers!!! You have helped us so much!


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

M33- Moving, packing, getting a house ready to sell is stressful under 'normal' circumstances.
Meanwhile ...you have a house full of very young children to deal with and... a LTA to process through...and a relatively unhelpful WH that you are seriously thinking about divorcing...
so...yeah... a bit of stress there.
Take care of yourself.
Your children need a healthy mom.
What do you do to de-stress?

Lately I've gotten back to yoga....but...when all else fails..there's always my trusty Xanax!

seriously, though...

sorry that you are feeling so upset.


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((M3))
It's your party - you can cry if you want to!
Do you want to change your mind about selling the house?

Don'tknow anything:

I've been told LTA is 2 yrs +, but I agree that anything that is regular & consistent, even over a short period of time is very hard to deal with as you can't chalk it up to some sort of temporary insanity or that it was "just sex", etc.
For me personally, I'm bailing out after trying to reconcile with my stbx for 1 1/2 years after his 1 1/2 year affair. Like you, I cannot fathom my H turning around, kissing me goodbye every morning and then having sex with someone else 20 minutes later.
Someone also said something about in an LTA every important event, holiday, etc. is usually tainted by the A.
In my case, stbx & OW were in constant contact, both on their cells & texting all day long, every day, even when stbx was vacationing with us, at important family events, etc. They also saw each other in person at least 3-4x/wk, as they worked together. It was hot & heavy & they had sex about 1-2x/wk.
Stbx reports they never argued, she never made demands that he leave me, doesn't have a bad thing to say about her.
She must be awesome!
I'm sure they would have been going strong past the 2 year mark if I hadn't discovered it before then. (Tho one might think a single, 31 year old girl might at some point decide to find an eligible man, but, apparently not.)
Anyhoo.
I feel most at home here & thankfully I'm "in" here even though I'm a bit short of the official criteria.

I'm sure you will find help here, but you need to give us something to work with - so vent away!

Dip- I missed you! You men do tend to disappear every once in a while - speaking of which, DP has completely gone AWOL. There's no ban, I just assumed that y'all got sick of listening to us bitch & moan, lol.

So, in another step toward acceptance today, I have really stepped back & seen how my stbx & I just don't get along. I piss him off, he pisses me off. I think he's rude, he thinks I'm rude.
While I have always acknowledged that we fought more than most, I always saw the bigger picture - that being that we nonetheless cared deeply for each other & were committed to each other. Now, I can see how really the fighting is too frequent. Small fights (mostly because stbx is a conflict avoider), but still...
So, this has helped me alleviate my growing guilt over telling the kids we are splitting because honestly, the house is already tense & growing tenser. I don't know that staying together would really be all that better than splitting.
Ok. Got to go.
Graduation #2 tomorrow morning.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
deeppurple
♂ Member
Member # 28757
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DP has completely gone AWOL - lol

Not quite just been so sick & up to my smelly armpits with work Ive had no time for me but I have been lurking when Ive had the chance.

I love my LTA SISTERS!

[This message edited by deeppurple at 9:19 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday)]


Me - BS 49
Her - WS 43
Married 16 yrs (together 17 yrs)
DD13 DS10 DS8 DS6
DDay 1 6.4.2010 dday 2 7.25.2010
Heading for divorce.
"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Where the sun is shining & the surf is pumping
strongish
♀ Member
Member # 29259
Default  Posted: 10:00 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been trying to catch up but it's been taking me forever...so, I'll skim and reply as I go....

Miracle - I am so, so sorry to hear about the death of your son's friend. To have a life ended so early is truly tragic. Hugs to all the kids on our list.

0115 - Welcome to the LTA corner of DI. It looks to me like you have already discovered that these are some of the smartest people on the planet! The Tribe has been a Godsend to me....hope it does that same for you.

Well, my DD's graduation was AWESOME!! The weekend was a blast, with the exception of having to drive into Manhattan at the last minute as the LIRR had shut down as we were trying to get into NYC for an evening cruise. DD cried as her hair and make-up were ruined by the torrential rains, but in the end it all turned out okay. We got lost returning to our hotel later that night, but it was worth it. For the most part family all behaved themselves and FWH and I were able to put away our drama to make the weekend special for our DD.

It was bittersweet to see our family together and having fun again....especially since I knew it wouldn't last. We returned to reality late Monday night and we're right back where we were.

FWH started moving his things out today. I have cried buckets. I started crying after looking at creating a realistic budget to accomodate two households. I am SO bad at budgeting and even with the computer program I couldn't figure out how to make the numbers work. So I had to have FWH help me figure out how much I will have to earn in order to cover all our expenses. Meltdown #1. I cleaned my face, went for a job interview (I think it went well) and then did ironing for a while. FWH came back this evening to pick up some more things and I had Meltdown #2. How weird is it that FWH was the one consoling me?? I feel like such a loser tonight.

I really do believe that I need for FWH and I to S, but the reality is so much harder than agreeing to that in principle. I am 6 days shy of my 1-year antiversary and at the age of 51 I'm looking at starting a full-time job and having to take care of the house and home on my own. All the optimism I felt about how the S would be a good thing and would help me be less co-dependent has flown out the door. This feels like it did right after DDay.

Anyway....that's where I'm at right now. The highest of highs down to the lowest of lows. Pity party for Strongish!!


Posts: 490 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
deeppurple
♂ Member
Member # 28757
Default  Posted: 10:32 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dip - short shorts - Linda Carter - Wonder Woman!!


Me - BS 49
Her - WS 43
Married 16 yrs (together 17 yrs)
DD13 DS10 DS8 DS6
DDay 1 6.4.2010 dday 2 7.25.2010
Heading for divorce.
"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Where the sun is shining & the surf is pumping
0115
♀ Member
Member # 31740
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I lurk everyday and thanks so much for the support. I'm still in the middle of getting through the shit! I wish I could be more social...I promise I'll get there someday. I'm just trying to keep my life jacket on and head above water right now.

So...WH and I talked more tonight. Is this familiar to any of you?

The skank OW memorized MY PHONE NUMBER (I've never called her) my birthday, my anniversary, my kids' birthdays and my MOM'S birthday. SO CREEPY!!! I think she thought she was the wife (12 years total from 1999 to 01/15/11) and I was the OW. YUCK YUCK YUCK


BS (me) 49
FWH 49 newbeg2011
Married 29 years
Very Long LTA
DD 01/15/11-6/30/11
The hard work is done...let the healing begin.

Posts: 997 | Registered: Apr 2011
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, June 22nd (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hi dont know....welcome to our corner of si...you are more then welcome to post here and of course read....so come on in again and tell us how we could help...


dip: i too missed the memo...when were you guys banned....me thinks you might have inhaled too much smoke from that bbq...and maybe you got something other then coal makin the smoke...


lostsuol....im glad you popped in...

dp: sorry to hear you are still sick...maybe its allergies...its seems to be lastin a long time...

as for your smelly armpit...well i can honestly say i am glad that you are not here where i can smell them..

and what is new with you and mrs dp...?

nell: wow, an african brother....i say call him...like immediately...but first make sure mr nells life insurance is paid up and maybe increase the pay out...


0115: your ow does sound like she wanted to be YOU...i think she probably memorized your phone number so that if you called she would be prepared...the rest of it...well keep your friend close and your enemies even closer...or knowledge is power...although what kind of power that would give her...not sure...amybe she used the info to show your ws that she was caring enough to remember...or she remembered so that maybe she might want to make alternative plans those days seeing as she wouldn't be seein him...who know why people do what they do...if we knew that, we wouldnt be here...

(((strong))) i am so happy that everything went well even with bumps for your dd...i know how much it meant for you to have that....and i am so sorry for your pain....time, hon, time to grieve, time to move on with your life, time to recover YOU....and yes it might get worse before it gets better, but and this is a whoppin but...IT DOES GET BETTER...keep workin for it and it will get better...


miracle house:

well momma miracle went crazy a bit in the stores buying all kinds of snacks and big kid pool toys...and its been a while..so tonite manchild went off on me.....so the snacks will stay but i am bringin back the big toys..the child was downright rude, disrespectful and totally out of line....of course pfm started it...pfm and i were told to keep dinner sacred...and of course we were eating at the time and pfm brought up something that manchild got defensive about....on the issue pfm and i are on the same page, but not about our approaches...but then again..tonite i was quiet at first, then manchild said something that set me off...but i was quiet about it, merely stating what i felt quietly...manchild took that to level 10 on a 1-10 scale...it got ugly...pfm of course denies his actions...saying that him starting on the subject during dinner is "false"...yeah because his memory is wonderful not to mention that he a man full of integrity...puleeze... ...anyways...manchild ended up texting me an apology...i have not accepted it yet, and i dont think i will....this is just one of too many times...im thinkin the boy needs to see just how much is done for him by me not doin it anymore...so he is walking to school tomorrow for grad rehearsal (normally i drive him)...i will pick him up but only because he is carrying his cap and gown..otherwise i would make him walk...yup..time for this child to see all that is done but it not being done anymore...and i need to keep telling that to myself...this is one area where some time goes by and i go back to doin...

def looking forward to a girls nite out when all of this is done...


(((tribe)))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
nofun
♀ Member
Member # 24546
Default  Posted: 6:03 AM, June 23rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have much time but will write later tonight.

I did want to ask Nell why you thought of me when you thought of your grandmother? The reason I ask is because I, like you, loved my grammie more than life itself and I think of her so often. She was like my mother, I lived with her every weekend until I married and even after I was married, we were together every Saturday. She has been dead 34 years. My Grandfather treated her like shit and I always thought that it was me that brightened her life.

Ok, peace out everyone!


BS (me) 56
WH 61
M 36 yrs
OW - 55 - Howdy Doody Look Alike
3 Awesome Adult C
DD 6/7/09
LTA 12 years.
Confused: D or R???

Posts: 987 | Registered: Jun 2009
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 6:28 AM, June 23rd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Strongish))
Ok - easy stuff first - I hope he is helping you with the bills til you get employed... otherwise you may have to convince him that he should.
Harder stuff:
I'm right there with you sista. Telling my kids on Sat & stbx will be moving out within a week or so. (After reading my books, it seems the kids need a bit more advance notice than I had planned & as he apparently has flexibility in choosing the move-in date I may have to wait about 2 weeks - depends on how the kids are doing, but I'm hoping it will be sooner rather than later.)
Anyhoo...
I think it's fitting that he consoled you. The two of you are both going through a tremendous emotional upheaval together.
Try to keep focusing on the positive.
This too shall pass. If you survived the discovery of DDay, etc. you will survive this as well.
Otherwise, we can ball our eyes out together.

DP - glad to see you are alive & well.

Miracle - I LOVE that punishment, but it sux that you had to give it on the eve of such an important event for him. It happens, but I'm sorry that it did. I hope everything turns around quickly. (I'm sure it will).

On that note, stbx & I got into it right before my son's graduation yesterday. Apparently he did not cancel his plans to play ball that night, leaving the graduation celebration mid-dinner to go. This set me off, not only because it's incredibly rude & thoughtless & inconsiderate, but also because he never, never EVER took off from taking ball for me or our kids (unless we were on vacation & even then he'd try to structure it so he wouldn't miss it), meaning, he played ball on my birthday, kids' birthdays, our anniversary, etc. but.... apparently getting it on with OW was worthy of skipping ball about once a month for over a year. Has ALWAYS been a sore point for me, even tho I "get" his explanation that it was the only way he could sneak out & take her out on a "date", you know, instead of just f-ing her in his car, y'know so she feels special.
So, I called him out on his f-d up priorities, he called me an asshole.
Ok.
I then apologized & said even tho it's how I felt, I should've kept it to myself, I don't want to ruin our son's day.
No response. Walks past me without even acknowledging me & then as he's walking out the door with my son & an issue arises as to location, I run out with the info & when I insisted he let me finish my sentence he called me a fucking bitch in front of my son.
I was FUMING mad.

Luckily, we made it through the rest of the evening ok. I got over it in about an hour & he stopped acting like an asshole.
Nice memories.
Nice.

[This message edited by Allgoodnamesgone at 6:30 AM, June 23rd (Thursday)]


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

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