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Codependency in the Marriage: A BSís common mistake

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Miss Saigon posted 1/29/2012 19:18 PM

bump

Waiting@home posted 1/30/2012 17:52 PM

Thx, QV

starstruck posted 1/30/2012 18:03 PM

Thanks QVee.

npain posted 1/31/2012 13:55 PM

I am a caretaker by nature, so I fell right into this codependent role, but the funny thing is 1 year ago I kinda started finding myself. That's when the sh*t reallyhit the fan. I started pushing him to do things that he didnt before, I took care of myelf, lost 40lbs. And becuase I tipped the scales a bit, WH got mad, real mad. I was no longer playing the game. I started to push back and demand things. So by the time I confirmed his A, I was well out of the codependent role. In fact, after 5 months of watching him do nothing but sulk, I kicked him out in the middle of the night. I had looked at his phone and found he had been disrespecting me to his friends and allowing them to disrespect me in text messages. All of a sudden he is seeking counseling and trying to get to the bottom of his mess. And i have already told my pastor who is counseling him that I am not accepting anything less than 100% participation from WH in thi smarriage otherwise there will be no reconciliation. He has been giving me crumbs ans I refuse to accept that any longer. Codependent no more!

imarriedmymother posted 1/31/2012 19:00 PM

Hi, My name is imarriedmymother and i am a codependent

lordhasaplan? posted 1/31/2012 20:08 PM

imarriedmymother, welcome to the club. How will you untangle yourself and change your half of the equation? I know for me it has been a hard road, recognition goes along way to enable you opportunities for change.
Welcome.

QVee posted 2/2/2012 21:21 PM

Hi imarriedmymother!

I'm trying to kick my codependency tendencies to the curb. It's not an easy road, but it feel really good (unlike other forms of rehab/therapy)!

Welcome!

imarriedmymother posted 2/2/2012 22:39 PM

Lhap and QVee, Thank you for the welcome.I think my admittance is a start and in time i hope to start overcoming these issues,amongst others. I'm a work in slow process but progress. Thanks again, immm

itwillrain posted 2/2/2012 23:36 PM

It's honestly difficult to put myself before the relationship, but that was me already. I was like that before the A.

Looks like IC might be a good idea...

Nature_Girl posted 2/3/2012 00:34 AM

IC has helped me tremendously in learning to put a relationship in it's proper perspective. My upbringing was SO conservative Christian, I was literally rasied to be a doormat.

Which explains why I had such a wild late teens early 20's.

And then explains the mess I'm in now.

IC is liberating my mind and soul.

lordhasaplan? posted 2/15/2012 19:03 PM

lordhasaplan? posted 3/2/2012 13:20 PM

lordhasaplan? posted 3/20/2012 13:10 PM

Fighting2Survive posted 3/27/2012 14:27 PM

Fighting2Survive posted 3/30/2012 21:30 PM

mitz66 posted 3/31/2012 06:50 AM

Thanks for the bump and the thread. I know I am codependent. Funny thing is last year when I went to ic for 8 months my codependent behaviour was in full swing. I did not want the counselor to think badly of me and I did not work through everything I needed. I had all the right words as I am in the helping field and missed an opportunity to really examine my why of staying and putting up with crap. I recognized some things in myself but pushed them away. I have reread codependent no more and it is time for me to accept that I am only responsible for me. I do not want to live this way anymore, with or without my wh. Freedom!

lordhasaplan? posted 4/15/2012 21:44 PM

lordhasaplan? posted 5/24/2012 08:39 AM

Bump!

Edie posted 6/3/2012 00:26 AM

Bump

Fighting2Survive posted 6/8/2012 15:19 PM

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