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User Topic: Long Term Affair - Part 26
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Deep.

Congratulations!

Did you see the picture Laura made of me? She was inspired by your strange vision, so THANKS A LOT. I owe you.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
deeppurple
♂ Member
Member # 28757
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dip my pleasure. I actually envisaged a much thinner you though.

Thanks - I feel much happier & settled now that I have this job; even re-energised in many ways.


Me - BS 49
Her - WS 43
Married 16 yrs (together 17 yrs)
DD13 DS10 DS8 DS6
DDay 1 6.4.2010 dday 2 7.25.2010
Heading for divorce.
"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Where the sun is shining & the surf is pumping
jollum
♂ Member
Member # 25152
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DP,
Congratulations on the new job. I'm really happy you found something you like better.



Posts: 269 | Registered: Aug 2009
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YAY, DP!!! Birthday + New Job = Woo Hoo!!!

miracle,

the down side to you healing yourself is you will forever resent him i think for his not having a part in it...resentment breeds contempt

Yep. Which is why we'll be working on my contempt for WH in IC. I would rather not feel contempt for WH... but it's difficult when I'm watching him to jackshit while he has at least three things he KNOWS he should do. It's his choice. An actual, honest-to-God, he knows what he should do and decides not to do it because other things are more important, conscious choice. So there ya go. In my honest opinion, this marriage is the current easiest option for him, and he'll put in minimal effort and take maximum advantage of it until a new easy option drops her panties during work hours.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DP- Congrats on the new job. Hopefully, it's part of a new beginning for you.

Nell- IMHO the only way your husband should handle the Happy Hour-is not to go! Your well being and peace of mind should come first.

Ats-I wish that your wife was more enthusiastic in her letter ...at least about how she feels about you, the marriage etc.
I would have liked to see more I love yous, and a promise to do anything to save the marriage.

But, that's me.. those are the kind of statements that my husband made to me post d-day and what won me over.
IMHO the LTA was BIG screw up so...the only way to make amends is with Big, Grand Gestures.

Allgood- Sorry that you are feeling down.

And as to your question to Strong... can you feel 'in love' again if you stay in the marriage?

My answer is yes.
But, once again...it depends on the effort the WS is putting out.
It is definitely possible to re-invent your marriage, to start over, and even feel like you are in love again.

In my case that happened because my FWH continued to show me how much he loved me, needed me, etc. and how much he regretted what he did etc.

He has literally swept me off my feet..in terms of trying to win me back.



Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good Evening Tribe, thank you for all of the comments on FWW's letter. Your insights, give me much to ponder. DIP, you really do understand this dynamic I have with FWW and her perceptions of life. broken&lonely, you too seem to have a true insight into what FWW was trying to say to me. This is what I hoped would occur when I posted the letter. I am so accustomed to experiencing FWW's actions as too little too late that I welcome the different perspectives.

As for love, or the lack of her mentioning it, I think it is because she does not feel love. She actually says this in her letter:

...keep myself in a protected little box so I don't get hurt but I also don't feel love ó the numb box.

A year ago I questioned why I would try to R with a person who said she did not feel love for me, and so she started to say ILY to me, but I think her letter is the more honest statement. This is a common theme from her since dday. She protects herself and does not let anyone in.

During the time of her A's, I looked forward to FWW being out of the house. I enjoyed being alone. After dday I was anxious when she travelled. Tonight I feel a little lonely. Something else to dig into and understand. I think her gesture last night with the gift and letter did have an impact on my detachment.

It is probably good she is seeing her father, his health does not sound good.

DP, congrats man. Good job=good deal.

Nell, thank you for pointing out the embarrassment and anger a covering other issues. The embarrassment I have figured out. The anger?, I think there is a lot under that blanket.

I believe that FWW is trying, but the out come is the same. I do not feel as though my needs in the M are being met, but I think the decision would be so much easier if she were a "bad" spouse not doing what needed to be done because she chose not to do it rather than is not able to do it, at least not consistently.


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
deeppurple
♂ Member
Member # 28757
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ats

The anger?, I think there is a lot under that blanket.


This anger is it directed at yourself, your FWW or OM or in some other direction?

My anger is directed @ MOM yet I cant get angry @ or with my WW.

Those little boxes she keeps are the key.Im still trying to figure out which box my WW has me in. My IC said to me that WW had filled so many boxes & hadnt bealt with them it all eventually over flowed & her new safe haven so to speak was the A (it was her final escape machanism). Only when she starts to deal with each box will some progress be made - but when they cant or wont address the box then there is a problem.My WW is unable to address these little boxes atm as she doesnt have any problems.


Me - BS 49
Her - WS 43
Married 16 yrs (together 17 yrs)
DD13 DS10 DS8 DS6
DDay 1 6.4.2010 dday 2 7.25.2010
Heading for divorce.
"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Where the sun is shining & the surf is pumping
strongish
♀ Member
Member # 29259
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm gonna see if I'm coordinated enough to do the two open "windows" thing here so I can remember what I wanted to comment on. Here goes.....

ats - The letter from your WW is so heartfelt but it also gives her a lot of "wiggle" room if things don't work out just as she wants them to. There's very little committment there. I'm not saying that she's not trying but as someone on this board has said....trying is not doing. (I'll have to come back to that thought.)

I am healing. Alone. Not because I'm a bad BW (to not look to WH for support), but because WH has not done any of the work to be able to support me. I have no reason to feel guilty about my thoughts, feelings or actions.
Nell, I have also done the lion's share of my own healing. For so long my FWH was pretty much useless. He's getting better with the empathy thing but while I thought that I just needed him to understand what I was going through to help me heal, I've found that even with his understanding this is way more difficult to overcome than I anticipated. See note above about trying vs. doing. My FWH is still learning how to empathize and he still gets frustrated easily if I'm not recognizing the changes that he is making in himself. then he lashes out at me, and I shut down, and we're back on the merry-go-round. While I am no longer feeling the desperation that I did a year ago, I am still very, very depressed. Right now the only way I see out of this is for us to go our separate ways. Even with all he's "trying" FWH is just not getting the message across that he would do "anything" for me. I think he will do a lot, but not "anything." For example, he says that he would be willing to go down on one knee in our town square and apologize to me, but he gets upset when/if I mention the LTA to anyone outside of our immediate family. He says that he feels grateful that I did not and have not kicked him out since DDay, but then he gets pissy because I'm not giving him enough credit for what he's doing/changes he's making. I feel like if I don't give him a big star on his forehead that he gets his feelings hurt. It's unbelievable to me that he had a 4 year A, without using any protection, followed that up with 2 ONS's and I'm supposed to feel grateful that he hasn't left me yet? Or been mean to me? I can only look at it from my view and if I had done to someone what he has done to me, I'm not sure I could live with myself. I guess that's not a problem for FWH.

Miracle - Thinking of you this evening. And to answer your question about why I want out of this house. It's too big now that only 2 of us are living here now. There are so many things that just need to be fixed, electrical, plumbing, etc. and I've never been good at coordinating that kind of stuff. I guess it's just time to pull out those big-girl panties again and make some calls. Plus I hate paying the exorbitant fees some places charge to come to your house to fix something.

But will you have that in love feeling if you stay? If you have nothing to lose.... that says a lot. It's not so much an issue of can you do better and more a question of can you be happy where you are.
There are times when I think that I can distract myself enough with daily life to not think about the A too often and FWH and I can make a go of it again, then I remember all the things that have started to bug me that past few years and since DDay they absolutely drive me crazy!! And I don't have any faith in FWH....certainly not in his ability to judge a situation. God knows he can't judge people, although he thinks he has so much insight into others. Come to find out, I'm the one that is savvy about "reading" a situation or another person, yet I've almost always deferred to him. The power-shift in our M is astounding and I don't like it. But I'm not sure if I can ever respect him enough to "give up" the power I have gained this past year. I still feel like I have to be on my guard all the time with him. That's why living in the same house was so exhausting. I used to think that FWH and I were pretty equal but now I have a greater share of the "power" and it's not a place I like to spend a lot of time in. I can certainly pull my own weight. I was a Navy wife for lots of years and know how to take care of myself and my kids, but I liked having someone to lean on. I'm not confident that I will ever feel comfortable doing that with FWH again.

DP - Congrats! You are gonna rock the new job!

IMHO the LTA was BIG screw up so...the only way to make amends is with Big, Grand Gestures.

YES, YES, YES.... this is just a huge disappointment for me. I pour my heart out to FWH and end up sobbing on the floor, eyes are blotchy, can't breathe through my nose and the next day I get a card. He left to go on a week long trip on Sunday after we had the most recent "talk" last Sat. where I told him how unsure I am and that I need/crave some validation. Do I get flowers every day? Do I get sky-writing? Do I get FWH calling all my friends and family to sing my praises?? Nope, got another card. Please don't get me wrong....two years ago I would have been jumping for joy at getting the heartfelt cards, but now it just seems like so little for what I've been through. I guess I'm just asking for too much.

Had to pick up DD22 at the airport at 1:30 in the morning and then up at 6 to run before work so I'm bushed. Hope everyone has a good night!

{{{Tribe}}}


Posts: 490 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey DP,

Anger at the situation, anger at MCs (3) we went to over the years who did not help, anger at her, and anger at myself.


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

first...happy belated birthday purple...and congrats on the job..

really tired so will just post the latest goings on...

well bout an hour before we are scheduled to leave for wake, also when we are supposed to be eating some dinner...pfm decides that this would be a good time to chat with manchild about what he is not doing for his college shit...pfm was so so wrong in so many damned ways...first for bringing shit up just before dinner, which is supposed to be sacred family time, second to bring up something he should know is going to set manchild off...and boy did it...it was a fucking screaming match...both were wrong...but pfm way way more wrong....i had to intervene and scream at them that i needed quiet before i go to see a dead 22 year old boy in a casket....you know that they didnt stop...it took way more then that and a promise to manchild that we would indeed pick this up again when we got home...i am not going into the particulars....i will say that manchild finally let it rest and what does pfm do...right after the boys leave the table and i am cleaning up so that i could go get dressed...he brings up something else that is of course wrong in his eyes...i looked at him and and told him that he needed to shut up and if he didnt have anything nice to say say nothing...what does he say to that one...YOU TOO!"...WTF...me too...so with that i bent down low and told him in a really scary tone that he needed to watch the buttons he is choosing to push...i am proud of myself i turned around and went back to cleaning and let it go...

the wake:

well the amount of people that turned out is staggering...and i mean staggering..firemen everywhere paying tribute with an honor guard and firemen directing everyone to keep the line, the very long line moving...we waited on line for 40 min to get in...while on the line there were boards set up with pictures, flowers everywhere, the arrangements were spectacular...video pics also...3 rooms were set up for him...

the room...we get to it, the casket is in front, and next to it are the immediate family and his girlfriend...mom is totally devastated, girlfriend is a wreck, sister seems to be holding it together by a thread, her husband supporting her and dad seemed to be a i gotta get this line moving and do what i gotta do....tears, tears and way more tears...after that we leave, it was the only way more people can come in, we couldnt stay...when we got outside the line was about 10 times longer then when we started...i could not believe how many more people were waiting and still arriving to go to the back of this huge line....

what a tribute....so so sad...they even had a tree set up for people to write down memories of the boy for his family, it was beautiful....


we had a couple of other neighbors with us for the trip...find out that my neighbor right next door, her son almost died today...coming down a slide a jump rope that one of the kids tied up got around his neck and he was trapped and choking and thank god another child ran for help, the kid has a bruised neck and realizes he almost died...his mom is completely shaken up and she went from saving her son to seeing another neighbors kid in a casket...

and my son gets a text from his girlfriend, her brother was hit by a car today, is bruised up but will be fine...


neverending shit...

get in the house and of course manchild and pfm pick it right back up....an hour or so later its all somewhat resolved with pfm being a total asshole of a dad...

and of course it does not end there...his assholeness just goes to new heights...

i took a xanax during the dinner war....i think its the only thing that allowed me time to breathe and not kick his fucking ass to the curb..with the shit he pulled tonite...i think i would rather be broke and super struggling then have to deal living like this again....

he was not the monster he used to be, but most certainly was the asshole...

oh shit, i forgot he called his dad...not a good convo...his mothers heart is not regular after surgery...first time talking to his father in over 2 years....connect the dots...in the past he was always more of an animal after dealing with someone in his family....well this shit aint gonna fly nomore....

im tired...im pooped...the day that never seemed to end...and even a neighbor today that i talked to about this lost kid had to put a dog down today...there just seemed to be no fucking escape....

nite all....


(((tribe)))

and i always feel better after a venting ramble...


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 2:42 AM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all

So great to see the support you are all giving each other.

Boss again today and it sucked. So now feel like knackered again.

Being knackered last night also led to a meltdown. Too silly to describe. FWH was perfect. Said and did all the right things even when I got filthy bitchy.

Ahhhhh!

Went to bed at 11 and up at 2 so I'm running on empty so quick messages and no advice - I'm too stupid tonight.


Nell

until a new easy option drops her panties during work hours.

I love you honey. Your sense of humour is awesome!!

I agree with everyone. Happy hour has to go. God my FWH has lost half his interest in our properties etc. He knows I won't change that. I die - my kids get me share. The houses get sold. He's ON THE STREET! So tell him to suck it up and be grateful you haven't done a Laura or worse still a bobbitt!!!

DP

CONGRATS

NJ

My FWH is trying to imitate yours. I'm not good enough at appreciating it yet. Keep cheering for me - it so helps!

ats

I'm glad everyone else is giving you good advice.


Strong

I pour my heart out to FWH and end up sobbing on the floor, eyes are blotchy, can't breathe through my nose

Our ddays are so close and I still do this lots. Feeling for you love. Maybe we're normal?

Miracle

So hard to live with fucktards who can't see what is important in life!!!

It's all too sad isn't it? Just too sad.

I really hope next month is better for you. This last one has really been a bitch!

Fun

Thinking of you.

Tryn

Glad your home

Jollum

Hang in honey

Could this be because you are upside down???

B&L

Welcome. I will chat to you when I make some sense and know more of your story. HUGS honey. All I can say is that the fear, trust issues, love issues, resentment and feeling like you have been hit by a truck are all normal. You are a great mom to your daughter. I just know it. Don't beat yourself up!

Today I interviewed a single mom and her son for a place in the school. I don't know where the dad is. The boy has a learning disability and I can see she is a great mom and he is a lovely kid. Love for your daughter will get you (and your daughter) through ANYTHING!!!!

Honest

Please tell us fucktard is leaving soon. HUGs, strength and prayers for you.

Dip

Did you see the picture Laura made of me? She was inspired by your strange vision, so THANKS A LOT. I owe you.

Thanks for just being you.

Allgood

Hang on kid. You are doing great. So strong!!! We are all holding you up!

M33, Awakened, FNF, Dadof4, SMS, SATT, V, 0115 and lurkers - HUGs is all I've got left tonight.

Take care yanks!

It's bloody cold here in Aussie land so no more wingeing about the heat or I'll think you are all poms!!!!

BTW- Where's UK?

Love

Laura

[This message edited by Laura28 at 3:08 AM, July 28th (Thursday)]


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 5:54 AM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey ats... Sometimes, you just make that leap one way or another and leave it in God's hands.


DeepP... Sounds Great! March on brother!

Iwant.. I sure want you to have a better day today.. How about a power walk?

BTW.. heard on the radio yesterday where a study was done with people who went through a trauma. They looked at:
1)People who exercised
2) Took ADís
3) Just attended IC

The people who exercised were the group where depression went away quicker and longer. I did all three. Today, only exercise... greatest feeling in the world after a 6 or 7 mile run. Not bad for an overweight 50 year old!

Laura... I travel just about everyweek. These days, I take it all in. I hope all went well with your work event. Sounds a bit nerve racking.

Nell... Hoosier Daddy

Peace out today!

[This message edited by trynhard at 5:59 AM, July 28th (Thursday)]


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 6:53 AM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nell... Hoosier Daddy

HAHAHA!!!! Well played, tryn.

I just wanted to add that the "in my honest opinion" thing is actually a worst-case scenario. WH has not done any work to make sure he doesn't repeat his selfish stupidity, or to understand why he held his nose and jumped in the first place. That doesn't mean I think he's going to have a do-over... and if he does, it will not go down the same way, because I have made (am making) changes.

Allgood, thanks for checking in!

Miracle,
What a night. Glad it's over and today is a new day!

njgal,

Your well being and peace of mind should come first.

I agree. However, I can only control myself. My well being comes first with me... well, I have two young kids so maybe second. But a close second!

ats,

I think the decision would be so much easier if she were a "bad" spouse not doing what needed to be done because she chose not to do it rather than is not able to do it, at least not consistently.

Mmm... maybe not... because then you would be trying to figure out how long you wait, what you might do, to help him see that he needs to make the changes... because you love him, he's the father of your children, he's got XYZ good traits, and if he would just do R, then you could be happy... it's all hard. No use comparing pain.

dp,

My WW is unable to address these little boxes atm as she doesnt have any problems.

Yeah, Mr. Nell isn't banging the COW any longer, so he's fine. He's just being patient while I work through my problems. What a prince.

strong,

I feel like if I don't give him a big star on his forehead that he gets his feelings hurt.

I don't have to give out gold stars; I just have to pretend everything is normal.

Laura,
BREATHE, honey!

Hugs to everyone. Nell out!


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
strongish
♀ Member
Member # 29259
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Miracle - What a night you had. I'm in awe of the fact that you were able to make it through all that with only a Xanax on board. I would have needed lots and lots of chardonney in addition to the Xanax.

Hugs to you honey!


Posts: 490 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:11 AM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I had more time today because it seems so many are struggling. As an oldie I guess the one thing I'd like to say is that it WILL get better. Don't give up hope or become discouraged. When I look back on those days when I could barely function, when I thought I couldn't possibly have any tears left to cry, I never would have believed I could have come to a place of acceptance. But we do!!! I did. It takes a great deal of time - as the saying here goes, LTA = LTRecovery. 5 years out and I have come to that place of acceptance but it is a long and difficult road. I know that without this tribe to hold me up I never would have gotten where I am today. Lean on each other, meet up with other members if and whenever you can, and like Tryn has suggested, exercise, go to IC and, if necessary, take the AD's.
Hugs to you all and most especially those who are struggling.
ATS - you have gotten some wonderful responses to your W's letter. The only thing I want to add is that I think this is an opportunity for you to respond with your own letter. Take advantage of this time while she's away. Take each line, each paragraph, and let your wife know how her words made you feel. Share with her your most honest desires and needs. Let her know what is and is not acceptable to you in order to move forward.
For example, the use of the word "tolerable" as a possible future, that would IMHO need to be addressed. I was thinking that maybe, hopefully, she just chose the wrong word. Perhaps if she had said companionable, that would have more acceptable but no one should expect us to accept a "tolerable" future together. IMO, that would only lead to a great deal of resentment and utter disappointment.
And for what its worth, I too felt foolish and embarrassed that I didn't know what was going on in my M for all those years. I also felt a great deal of shame, not of myself but of my H and my M. I think this is a normal reaction to the shock of discovering our S's LTA's.
Hugs to each and every one of our tribe.
BTW, Tryn, I am fine, really. Thanks for asking. I'm just hoping my H doesn't disappoint me yet again.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ats.

I really wish I understood these things better. I have studied all this quite a bit and I seem to learn something every day.

What Deep said about his W not adressing her problems because she thinks she does not have any is something for you to think about. At least your W knows and admits that she has many issues to overcome. I know that just because she admits these thing does not mean that all this will get better. It is a start.

Her compartmentalizing or putting herself in the numb box is something that she learned to do a very long time ago. It is self preservation. This is how they survive. It is a hard habit to break. I'm sure my W had to compartmentalize for much of her life too. I think that this is one reason these people have such a easy time living the double life. They have done it since childhood so they have had plenty of practice.

I have read her letter more than once. I really do think it is kind of extraordinary. I have limited knowledge about these thing, but I don't think that many people with issues like her are willing or able to write something this deep. Like you said. She does not let anyone else in.

Deep.

Yes I am much thinner and better looking. I am actually very handsome and have a lean well chiseled body.

Hugs to the tribe.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Those little boxes she keeps are the key.Im still trying to figure out which box my WW has me in. My IC said to me that WW had filled so many boxes & hadnt bealt with them it all eventually over flowed ...

Deep, I have been watching the series Weeds on DVD and all the talk of boxes reminded me of the openning song.

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky tacky,
Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes all the same.
There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one,
And they're all made out of ticky tacky
And they all look just the same.

btw, I am late but meant to congratulate Laura and any other Aussies out there on their first Tour de France win with Cadel Evans. He made it a really good race this year.

((iwam))

A bit of positive development for me, there are currently two jobs open in this region that are what I do, but a definite step up in responsibility, pay, and the reputations of the organizations. I have applied for both,and had a phone interview with the recruiter for one. If one of them works out, not only will it be more money, but it will mean no more working where I periodically have to interact with one of her OM, and no more driving past the hotel, the office, all the places they met. These things usually take weeks to months to resolve, but I am hopeful.

strongish:

Come to find out, I'm the one that is savvy about "reading" a situation or another person, yet I've almost always deferred to him.

I found this too. I had relied on FWW and thought she was good with reading people. Ends up she was confident that peopple would behave as she expeted them to, but it was then their fault when they did not behave or react as she expected them to.

--Ats


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
deeppurple
♂ Member
Member # 28757
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ats - all the best with the job.

IWAM - glad you got thru what was a most difficult day.

Dip - you always were the Cabana boy.

((Tribe))


Me - BS 49
Her - WS 43
Married 16 yrs (together 17 yrs)
DD13 DS10 DS8 DS6
DDay 1 6.4.2010 dday 2 7.25.2010
Heading for divorce.
"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Where the sun is shining & the surf is pumping
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Morning DP

Hope you have a good day.

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, July 28th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ats

Good luck with the job.

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
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