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Newest Member: datehimhatehim (45059)

I Can Relate Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Support for BS in Limbo
♀ Member
Member # 44284
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what's good enough for him is crumbs for me. And "teaching" him what I need is the most unattractive, unsavory prospect to me right now. Stepping up should be an outcome of his desires, not me creating a lesson plan.

This really spoke to me. I am trying to get out of limbo as I feel like I have been getting crumbs. When I explained that to him and listed what I need he said he is not sure if he can do it. (I asked him to do the exercises in a Surviving an Affair.) I need prayers for strength.

Me: BGF 45
Him: WBF
DD#1 5/30/14
DD#2 6/7/14
DD#3 6/18/14
It looks like we are done 9/15/14.

Posts: 91 | Registered: Jul 2014
♀ New Member
Member # 39622
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, September 2nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm just jumping into this thread with out reading much of it first, I don't know if that is acceptable or not but I am in a bad way. I am three months pregnant and just found out about an emotional affair my husband was having. We ended up separating and he consumated the affair. He had two other affairs last year when I was pregnant with my first. He keeps saying that I make him unhappy, that I don't meet his needs and I think that in a lot of ways he's right. I know I took him for granted. I know I could have done more than I did. Now he is still continuing the relationship with the other girl, but we talk about trying counseling to see if we have a chance at working things out. EVERYONE I talk to says not to even try, to leave and not look back. But I LOVE HIM. He has been my whole world for 7 years, we have kids together and I can't seem to function or be able to eat or sleep without him around. I don't think he really wants to be with me anymore, I don't think he is in love with me, he has told me he doesn't think he is in love with me. I just don't know what to do or how to survive, or even fucking eat.

Posts: 47 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Oregon
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, September 2nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Preggo - ask yourself why you love someone who treats you like this. Do you love yourself? ARe you afraid of being alone? He sounds cruel.. are you in IC? The minute someone says "he is my world" I think they don't have enough of a life outside their marriage, good marriage or not.

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Posts: 5045 | Registered: Dec 2010
♀ New Member
Member # 39622
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, September 2nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

rachelc- I don't know. I ask that everyday. However, I do think that I am culpable for his looking to have his needs met elsewhere. I think that I should have done certain things better.
As for him being my world to a great extent it is true, I didn't have enough outside of him. We lived VERY remotely for a few years and then I got pregnant. So yeah, I have few friends that I get together with and only occasionally. I do work however, so that does help.
Yes, I am in IC. I would probably be dead already if I wasn't....

Posts: 47 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Oregon
New Member
Member # 44174
Default  Posted: 6:54 PM, September 12th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While I hate that you all are here, it's nice to not be the only member of the club. We're living together, he's NC with the OW but we're basically just room mates while he gets his head on straight. We're in MC (IMAGO which he's not too sure about)and I've started IC (SBT which I'm not sure about,lol). Some days he feels like he's trying and some days I feel like I'm in the boat on my own.

Me: BS 43
Him:WS 41
Dday 7/16/14
Hoping for R but sometimes I think my hope is fading.

Posts: 46 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 42437
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, September 23rd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

really weird to be in a position to "protect the kids of the marriage" by filing for divorce and CS

been a bit of a rollercoaster as WH and I hashed out the separation agreement... heckofa way to practice good communication and conflict management skills

hated putting the kids name onto forms and plugging in "formulas" - felt like I was getting turned into hamburger mush and couldn't get pink floyd songs out of my head (dang worms)

guess I'm at the point of being willing to break the marriage to save it and just overall take things one day at a time

"The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."

WH is katumus and I am not reading his posts but we talk a lot and working on listening better!

BW 45
WH 46

married 17 years
3 kids

Posts: 197 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Maryland
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