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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread part 9
SI Staff
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Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, September 3rd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, September 3rd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me first!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7MuwPlOiNQ a theme song.

eta: because I AM scared of the heebie jeebies...

The items came from a discussion about how to spot a NPD. Turns out a lot of them keep weird useless stuff around. Like half used caulk guns in abundance. Or broken stuff. Junk.

The zebraduck. That is a play on the "if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck" cliche. So many people come here and want to describe the NPD in their lives and ask "Do you think he/she is NPD?" But the NPD is almost never what they appear to be on the surface. So much of the time the NPD is putting on the "human suit" or being the person they know we want them to be (short term) to keep us off balance or in their lives for various reasons. Just because an NPD looks like a caring husband, devoted father, church going car pool driving, grilling fun buddy at the lake on Sunday DOESN'T mean he isn't an empty soulless NPD asshole!!!

I am stuck on how to put the snippets of wisdom in one place? There is so much of it in the boards. How to chooose?

[This message edited by caregiver9000 at 10:32 AM, September 4th (Sunday)]


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5307 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
ItsRocky
♀ Member
Member # 30327
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, September 3rd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

me too


Thanks for all the support in my healing, outlived my usefulness on SI, time to move on.

Posts: 1460 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: SouthEast
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 2:34 PM, September 3rd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is refreshing to have another 1000 posts to fill, but sad that we will undoubtedly fill them.

This thread has been so busy lately and I hope everyone is surviving and thriving this holiday weekend. I am around working on lesson plans if anyone wants to talk.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5307 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
Toodevoted
♀ Member
Member # 33149
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, September 3rd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went out last night, met the nicest man I've met in ages, he was so lovely. I so much wished that I was 100% single, but I'm not so had to leave it.

I so much wished I had no morals like him, I so much wished I could just lie and say I'm single, I so much wished I could wipe the last few years of my life out - but I couldn't. Firstly cos I'm better than that, secondly cos this guy really was so nice that I couldn't lie to him.

Having NC for 2 weeks now makes me see how bad things are. Yet I know that once he's back I'll not see straight and get drawn in my it all again.

Do we ever really get over a relationship like this, or does it affect our lives forever.

For a while last night I forgot, I was carefree and happy, I think there really IS life after all of this - just maybe, I'm hoping.

I am better than this and deserve to be happy

You certainly do WTBL.

We all do.

I hope that I can stay feeling this strong once he's back home.

Chin up to anyone who's feeling low, it can only get better x


BS (me): 44
WH: 44
DD: Dec 2009 but let him rugsweep

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2011
soverybetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, September 3rd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all!! I freaked when the old thread said it was full. I thought "oh no, where I am gonna go when I have freak outs over him calling or email or whatever". So happy this thread is here because yes, he did it again!~

It was exactly 7 days since his last phone call and he just had to email me. Of course it was because he knew about my tests results coming in this week so it was his opening. I tried to keep it simple when he called but then he went into sellin the house and how am I making the rent and crap...he started to draw me in and feel sorry for him. Why? He is the one who didn't want to try to work it out and now he is pissed off and wants to sell the house. Something happened with the neighbors cause he can't wait to get out of there. I really am sure that we need to divorce but I swear hearing his voice makes me remember how much I love him even though I know it is wrong for me.

He isn't going to change and he is still rewriting our history to suit him. I am better when I don't talk to him or read his emails. I just have to write down all the things he did to me so I can look at it when I start to feel like this and I will be sure I made the right decision to leave.

Hope everyone is having a good holiday weekend.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1194 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Being an AWESOME ME!
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, September 3rd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cg! First is sposed to post a pic of
a caulk gun
a theme song
and a certain species of duck!
Did you not get the memo? (better go back and do some editin, lest the heebejeebejeebe's get ya!)

And
It's in my mind we should do a collection of sorts. Things from past threads. Wisdoms. I know we often tell folks to "go back and read the threads"
Maybe someone could collect a bunch of these: (me first!)

“When he looks at himself in the morning, and sees his dirty face, he sets about washing the mirror”.

Damn good things.
Like those.

(((TRIBE)))


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
ItsRocky
♀ Member
Member # 30327
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, September 4th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

“When he looks at himself in the morning, and sees his dirty face, he sets about washing the mirror”.

That is one of my favs. And I agree the first few pages of this thread is a good place to put the oldies but goodies.

I always found this a helpful reminder:
Commonly Forgotten by Victims of Domestic Violence

You have the right
to joy
to a life without any abuse
to make your own decisions about your future
to be human and to make mistakes
to change your mind, plans, and goals
to laugh
to sleep the whole night through
to eat what you want when you want
to visit with family and friends
to privacy
to be treated with respect
to not hide the actions of another (the guilt doesn't belong to you)
to go where you need and want to go
to love
to do what you want (and accept responsibility for that)
to be healthy
to feel hurt and to cry
to be angry and to say so
to say "no" without feeling selfish or guilty
to not need another's permission to do things
to share your thoughts and emotions
to a life without shame
to be complimented without sarcasm
to live without the fear of abuse
to assistance from the police
to financial independence
to work in your choice of jobs
to not be patronized or put–down
to develop your own identity and talents
to be safe
to be loved
to be with a partner that you love and like
to ask questions
to change yourself in the ways you want to
to control your own appearance
to not be humiliated
to not be threatened or intimidated
to protect yourself and your children
to your personal beliefs
to the truth
to help yourself
to succeed
to choose your own friends
to be at least as angry at or fearful of a lover as you would at a stranger who did the same things to you
to share plans and decisions that affect you both
to not be interrupted
to have your thoughts and opinions listened to and seriously considered
to feel how you feel — not necessarily how you've been told to feel
to be right without being made to feel guilty
to be comforted by your partner
to your sexual interests, desires, and fulfillment being as important as your partner's
to not be harassed by a partner "checking on you"
to come and go without having to "report in" with details about where you went or what you did or who you saw
to have friends of both sexes without accusations of unfaithfulness
to fulfilled promises
to survive
and to live!


DON'T GIVE UP YOUR RIGHTS!!!


Safety reminder for those dealing with NPD spouses etc:
Fasten your seatbelts - it is gonna be a bumpy ride.


Thanks for all the support in my healing, outlived my usefulness on SI, time to move on.

Posts: 1460 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: SouthEast
toughgirl8
♀ Member
Member # 29812
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, September 4th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jjct I think that's a great idea for us newbies who haven't had a chance to read thru all the threads.

My H realized how serious I am since I got the ball rolling on D so of course back to the nice guy part of his cycle. Including the fact that he thinks he has cancer. Great. He has reported a lump in the past but of course hasn't seen a doc yet.

I kept refusing to give him more time. He plead yesterday for a month to see if we 'can be friends again' he won't ask for sex, he won't ask for anything, he's having an early midlife crisis, he thinks he's sick, he doesn't want to lose me...etc etc.

Of course it seems sincere. I wouldn't agree to it. I said the D process will take some time and we have to live with each other so if he wants to try to be friends or prove something, he can try.

I hate this confusing shit and I won't see my IC for another week. Again, I will get my ducks in a row and enjoy the peace, even if it's just temporary as usual.


Me-37
WH-41
M-12 yrs
D Day-3/2010
4 kiddoes
Some may say I have a short temper, I say I have a swift and assertive reaction to bull sh't. ;)

Posts: 327 | Registered: Oct 2010
Faith2011
♀ Member
Member # 30946
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, September 4th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the You Have The Right list ItsRocky. I've printed it out and have it up on my wall.

When our needs are constantly dismissed by an NPD we need reminding we are human beings with rights.


BS me
XNPDWH him
DDay Jan 2011

"Live the best life possible."


Posts: 356 | Registered: Jan 2011
Llanden
♀ Member
Member # 10402
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, September 4th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, a new thread already .. I still haven't finished reading the old one

The NPD hangs on to us because they can NOT allow us the dump them, they have to be the one to dump us. Oh they tell everyone that we dumped them so they are the injured Mr/Mrs Wonderful but they destroy us and when we serve no useful purpose to their image they force us to leave.

I really like this one as well it just sums it up..

“When he looks at himself in the morning, and sees his dirty face, he sets about washing the mirror”.


And ya know, the more he washes that mirror instead of his own face, the uglier he gets. He still can't see it.

And thank you ItsRocky I really like that list, I have printed it out as well and hung it up on the fridge so that my kids can read it too :)


"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
“Who makes everything we experience happen? You. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!” Sweat Pea from Sucker Punch
BS 35
DD's 14, 7 and 5

Posts: 567 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: New York
MtnMama
♀ Member
Member # 33151
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, September 4th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG I love that list! I've noticed that my NPD WS gets "sick" whenever he is really stressing over his kids, what color the sky is today etc. My, how convenient!

Posts: 88 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Ohio
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, September 5th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was looking for some of my old favorite NPD info sites and found this along my travels. Good wisdom for everyone:

Important Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship
When you're in an abusive relationship, it is very easy to get caught up in the cycle of abuse unknowingly, and before you know it, the abuse has spiraled out of control.

The following are some red flags that you may be in an abusive relationship, courtesy of Helpguide.org's domestic violence resources, as well as The Red Flag Campaign, a project of the Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence Action Alliance which is funded by the Verizon Foundation.

Your partner:
- tells you how to dress or act
- accuses you of flirting or "coming on" to others
- makes vulgar or disparaging comments about others in your presence
- blames arguments and problems on you
- lies to you
- yells at or humiliates you
- threatens to hurt you if you break up with him/her
- calls you names
- constantly checks up on you
- experiences extreme mood swings; says you're the best one minute and rips you apart the next
- doesn't listen to you; things always have to be done his/her way
- blames you for how he/she treats you

(Gee, does this list bring back memories....)

And you, in turn, feel the following:
- afraid to break up with him/her
- tied down, like you have to check in all the time with that person
- afraid to make decisions
- afraid your partner will cut you down
- overwhelming sadness and often depression
- worried and obsessed over how to make your partner happy
- that the abuse is getting worse over time
- helpless
- overly emotional
- exhausted
- that if you only loved him/her more then the abuse will stop
- worthless
- embarrassed and ashamed
- trapped and desperate
- confused; one minute you desperately want to break free, and the next minute you think he/she will change enough for the relationship to hang on

A person emotionally abuses their partner in order to strip away their independence and feelings of self-esteem and self-worth. It's an insidious form of abuse, causing deep, long-lasting internal scars. Unless you've been on the receiving end, it's really hard to understand how debilitating emotional and verbal abuse is.

It is important to remember than an abuser CAN control his/her behavior. They choose very carefully when and where to abuse their partner, which often makes the abuse victim feel like they're going crazy. If you're being abused, it is absolutely NOT your fault for being mistreated. Remember that the only thing that you should focus on is being safe. You may not necessarily be safe if you decide to get a restraining order, but it is an option to consider. To learn more about restraining orders in your area, call 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).

I found this quote on the narcissism101 website (great info there, btw):


Half the harm that is done in this world
Is due to people who want to feel important
They don't mean to do harm ­
But the harm does not interest them.
Or they do not see it, or they justify it
Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle
To think well of themselves.

T. S. Eliot


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7634 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Toodevoted
♀ Member
Member # 33149
Default  Posted: 4:46 AM, September 5th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great thread start :)

Here are some things that I've found really useful in trying to harden my heart when I feel like I'm softening. They are mainly from websites recommended by you guys on here.

In order to "qualify" as a narcissist, a person must meet some or all of the below criteria:
• Inability to empathy
• Expects special treatment
• Feeling of entitlement
• Inability to admit that he or she is wrong
• Inability to receive criticism
• Unexpected, strong bursts of rage in situations that would not trigger rage in normal people. There aggressive outbursts are referred to as narcissistic rage.
• Does not react to tears. If other person starts crying due to the cruel behavior of a narcissist, that may even aggravate the rage of a narcissist
• Perceives oneself as omnipotent, superior individual
• Strong need for admiration. Admiration serves as a form of a narcissistic supply. Without sufficient amount of narcissistic supply a narcissist feels empty and unsatisfied. A narcissist is like a drug addict, and narcissistic supply in its different forms is the drug.
• Is often envious and mocks other people (often behind their back)
• In the beginning of the relationship idealizes one's partner and often talks about supreme, never-ending love. However as the relationship proceeds a narcissist often withdraws his or her attention and may become cold and uncaring, even cruel.
• Is often untruthful and due to this often ends up cheating in a relationship. Cheating is often a consequence of other traits of a narcissist, such as the feeling of entitlement (it is impossible for a narcissist to do anything wrong and so a narcissist does not perceive cheating to be a huge "crime"), inability to emphasize with the cheated partner and the need for admiration (narcisst supply)
• Double standards: A narcissist twists the rules so that they fit to the current needs of a narcissist. For example, if the spouse of a narcissist is cheating on a narcissist, the spouse is considered to be dishonest and bad person, whereas if a narcissist is cheating it is not wrong, because a narcissist simply "fell in love" and followed his or her heart. Double standards also apply to other areas in life.

At one point I was looking back and analyzing how last couple years had been for me. I realized I had not been feeling happy one single day in my relationship during last one year. There had been some moments when I felt some kind of happiness but every day there was at list one occasion when I felt sad, depressed or anxious when I was thinking of my relationship with my narcissistic spouse. I realized I had not been able to enjoy my relationship for a long time. And if that is the case, what is the point in being in a relationship in a first place?


BS (me): 44
WH: 44
DD: Dec 2009 but let him rugsweep

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2011
Faith2011
♀ Member
Member # 30946
Default  Posted: 5:09 AM, September 5th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The above posts contain very helpful and important info, especially for 'newbies'.

I shouldn't have, but I did. "N Dipping". Meaning, NC has been established but I dipped by typing his name (X NPDWH) into a search engine.

Wow! Just wow! It seems his MOW supply has dried up and in his words he's "looking" for another. He has a profile photo and I'm shocked at how cold and dead his eyes are. I guess that's what happens when a NPD's mirror is empty. Nothing to reflect. And he is listing/implying his interests are football. FOOTBALL? I always thought he hated football. And spirituality? WTF? He used to mock me for my spiritual beliefs.

Who is this man? I don't even recognise him.

They truly do invent a persona that they feel will attract the 'right' kind of supply. He can't even spend 5 min's as a single man. Don't bother reflecting at why you cheated, lied and abused your partner then discarded her by having an A.

He has a 'hit' already after only having had his profile up for a few days. "She" wants to get to know him, was attracted to his profile and says 'love is what matters in life'.

And here I am. A decent, sane, loving and honest person who has probably been too traumatised to ever date again.


BS me
XNPDWH him
DDay Jan 2011

"Live the best life possible."


Posts: 356 | Registered: Jan 2011
Toodevoted
♀ Member
Member # 33149
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, September 5th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I’m sorry Faith, I know how it must make you feel.

I truly do believe though that there is a wonderful and caring man (or woman as the case may be!) out there for each of us in the future. Someone who will show us by ACTIONS what it really does feel like to be loved. And you know what? We’ll appreciate him/her so much more than we ever would have done and make sure that it’s a wonderful relationship. I hold on to that thought.

As for them? As they'll never know what they are missing as they're incapable of even feeling it then they'll never know the happiness that they are missing out on. That hurts like hell some days to realise that, to realise that they'll never really feel regret because they just move on and go through it all again.

(((Faith)))


BS (me): 44
WH: 44
DD: Dec 2009 but let him rugsweep

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2011
wanttobeloved
♀ Member
Member # 30986
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, September 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was reading the post of traits of NPD and see that WH meets about five of them that I recoginize.

He did cheat and when i was crying jsut got angry and started more hurtful things.

he is constantly telling me about what the people at his job say about him.

He always says that I should be so grateful to have him.

He has not really been paying much attention to anyone in the house, he doesn't talk to anyone that much and he has his porn that he watches whenever I am at church or going to get my daughter.

This is still something I am working through and find it a little easier to do everyday, but some days I do get weak and just want to be loved so I fall prey to his so called love and I am sure it only feeds his NPD.

I try very hard to distance myself from him and jsut when I do he acts like he cares and starts making plans for the future.

I fall for it everytime and then want to smack muself when it doesn't happen.


BS (me):44
WH:46
4 kids, 26, 21,21,19(3 live with me)
3 grands, 9,7(live with me)and 9 months
DDAY October 26, 2010
doubtful

Posts: 357 | Registered: Jan 2011
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, September 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This should be fun. Below I've bolded the ones my NPDFWH matches:

Inability to empathy
• Expects special treatment
Feeling of entitlement
Inability to admit that he or she is wrong
Inability to receive criticism
Unexpected, strong bursts of rage in situations that would not trigger rage in normal people. There aggressive outbursts are referred to as narcissistic rage.
Does not react to tears. If other person starts crying due to the cruel behavior of a narcissist, that may even aggravate the rage of a narcissist
Perceives oneself as omnipotent, superior individual
• Strong need for admiration. Admiration serves as a form of a narcissistic supply. Without sufficient amount of narcissistic supply a narcissist feels empty and unsatisfied. A narcissist is like a drug addict, and narcissistic supply in its different forms is the drug.
• Is often envious and mocks other people (often behind their back)
In the beginning of the relationship idealizes one's partner and often talks about supreme, never-ending love. However as the relationship proceeds a narcissist often withdraws his or her attention and may become cold and uncaring, even cruel.
Is often untruthful and due to this often ends up cheating in a relationship. Cheating is often a consequence of other traits of a narcissist, such as the feeling of entitlement (it is impossible for a narcissist to do anything wrong and so a narcissist does not perceive cheating to be a huge "crime"), inability to emphasize with the cheated partner and the need for admiration (narcisst supply)
Double standards: A narcissist twists the rules so that they fit to the current needs of a narcissist. For example, if the spouse of a narcissist is cheating on a narcissist, the spouse is considered to be dishonest and bad person, whereas if a narcissist is cheating it is not wrong, because a narcissist simply "fell in love" and followed his or her heart. Double standards also apply to other areas in life.


So he's missing only 3, and he kind of has one of them.

I think the rage part is the most telling because it's so obvious. If you're with someone that flys off the handle in an unthinkable way over something stupid, like you forgetting eggs at the grocery store, then you can be sure you've got someone with something wrong with their brain.

I remember a time when I had to listen on the phone for almost an hour that I'd lost his wallet. I kept trying to say that I never touched his wallet, but I couldn't get a word in edgewise. When I did I was called all kinds of names, because I'd lost the wallet. I said "did you look in the couch cushions?" and was met with a very harsh response about knowing it was in the bathroom and I'd lost it and blah blah blah. When I got home, I looked in the couch cushions, and there it was. Do you think I got an apology? No way. He was so sure that he had it in the bathroom that he was justified in going off on me like that.

What a weird life I have.

[This message edited by neverbelieve at 3:04 PM, September 6th (Tuesday)]


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, September 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I said something that got to him! We had a fight last weekend and he, in typical fashion, went for the jugular in the fight. I retaliated, this time going as low as I could, like he ALWAYS does.

Apparently, something I said got to him because he's texting now saying I started a fight to say the 'most awful things imaginable'.

Fuck you asshole. Think about it next time you want to say you hope when you get home you find me bleeding out in the bathtub.

So, the lesson here is simple:

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Learn their weaknesses and use them.

This is truly one of the happiest days i've had in years. I fucking got to him!!!


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
Toodevoted
♀ Member
Member # 33149
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, September 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Apparently, something I said got to him because he's texting now saying I started a fight to say the 'most awful things imaginable'.

how funny! How dare you do such a thing! Please be careful though, don't want him being worse towards you....

That said it's GREAT when you can turn the tables?! My NPDWH tells me every single time I don't do what he wants/likes that we're finished (knowing I live in his house and is difficult to move right now). He then lets me worry about it for a week or two whilst I get the silent treatment, gives me time to think about the things that 'I've done wrong' then expects me to make it up when he decides to speak to me.

So far I always have done, can't help but loving him so much. This time its different, i've broken his silent treatment to tell HIM that it's over. You should see the mails that I've got, pure HATE and NASTINESS, just evil. I could picture him going blue in the face when writing them about to explode. How could I do such a thing to him after EVERYTHING he's done for me!! I couldn't believe he wrote that. So now I'm ignoring him because right now I don't care anymore. See how he likes it. Well he doesn't.

He's back at the weekend though so I'm not sure I'll be quite as brave then.

Power to us!

[This message edited by Toodevoted at 4:28 PM, September 6th (Tuesday)]


BS (me): 44
WH: 44
DD: Dec 2009 but let him rugsweep

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2011
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