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User Topic: N P D Thread part 9
heart_in_a_blend
♀ Member
Member # 24191
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, September 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That duck also has one horn as in unicorn, did any one else notice?

[This message edited by heart_in_a_blend at 4:50 PM, September 6th (Tuesday)]


In life, much of what one grieves one never had.

Posts: 3036 | Registered: May 2009
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, September 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It aint a unicorn till I see rainbow colored skittles coming out of its butt!

WTG cg! Avoidin the heebiheebijeebies!

Pls remember, you were CHOSEN precisely BECAUSE of your qualities as SUPPLY. You are special, with a ginormous giving heart, ALL OF YOU!
(((TRIBE)))

PLEASE figure out how to do NC safely. The 'I did this' and 'he did that' tells me you are poking the bear, still involved. I know this is harsh, hard to get, but do not engage. The LESS you reveal, the less you can be hurt with!



Posts: 6027 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
soverybetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, September 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to agree, be very careful when poking the bear. I will never forget the last fight we had when I lived with him. I refused to take his bait and when he told me we were done I said "ok" and walked away. You would have thought that I shot him the way he came at me. I had gone into the bedroom to start looking for a place to live and he came flying in the room in a RAGE screaming at me and shaking his fist in my face telling to get the F out of his house (it's in both our names but he never lets me forget he pays the mortgage). I can not believe how calm I was at that moment and I told him to leave or I will call the cops. But...the look in his eyes was one I had never seen before, it was pure HATE!! He left the room and I fell apart. I was shaking so bad I couldn't type an email. That was when I knew if I stayed, the next time I would for sure end up with a black eye. My crime? I told him I had questions about his affairs.

So becareful with this NPDs, you never know what is going to be the final thing that pushes them to step over the line and go to physical violence. I would have sworn until that day my stbx would NEVER threaten to hit me. I was so very wrong. He thought he could control me because I was too ill to leave him. OOPS!! I left him and have found peace and quiet in my own place.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1194 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Being an AWESOME ME!
Llanden
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Member # 10402
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, September 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for those previous posts, my X has almost all of those. And soverybetrayed I'm sorry you had to go through that It sucks that sometimes we have to hit rock bottom in order for our eyes to actually open. But the good thing is .... once they're opened we no longer will stand for the abuse or treatment of ourselves or others. WE make the choice to no longer be treated that way. Eventually it effects our everyday life and we start to attract better people because we already have the positive "I'll kick your ass to the curb if you try that crap" kind of energy.

So .... it sucks and they suck but .. at least some good came out of it for us .... or at least I always try to see the positives in the bad.


"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
“Who makes everything we experience happen? You. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!” Sweat Pea from Sucker Punch
BS 35
DD's 14, 7 and 5

Posts: 567 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: New York
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 8:53 PM, September 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So .... it sucks and they suck but .. at least some good came out of it for us .... or at least I always try to see the positives in the bad.

I'd warrant this is a trait most of us share. It is what makes us vulnerable to the N and why they target us. We are the "good" and "generous" they want to portray themselves as AND we are more likely to gloss over and forgive their flaws. The silver lining seekers=TRIBE.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5307 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
SierraGrace
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Member # 24259
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My crime? I told him I had questions about his affairs.

Yes, I too have committed this "crime" many many times. All would be well when I'd not bring it up or try to talk about it. The minute I'd ask a question or refer to any of that, as I have the RIGHT to, he couldn't bear it.

God...they are all so predictable.


BSO(me): 50-ish! How did THAT happen?
~♥~ Fur-kids: 5 Cats ~♥~
Adopt a pet! Save a life!

Posts: 1577 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Sunrises to Sunsets
neverbelieve
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Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I too have committed this "crime" many many times. All would be well when I'd not bring it up or try to talk about it. The minute I'd ask a question or refer to any of that, as I have the RIGHT to, he couldn't bear it.

LOL - this is a HUGE crime in my house too. He's actually said he's 'paid and paid' and he's sick of it. In fact that's what started the argument yesterday. I didn't even ask about it, I just said I was having a shitty day and feeling down, and that the A was a primary cause of that feeling. Well, that's all it took. Keep in mind, we hadn't talked about it AT ALL in 9 days. So, after 9 days of him getting to live as if he didn't do anything wrong, the mere mention of it sends him spiralling.

I told him he really should keep in mind that he's the cheater, not the victim. He didn't appreciate that.

His favorite new line? I just want some peace in my life. It's becoming apparent that I can't have that with you.

And I know what I said that upset him, and I'm not sure it really upset him. I think it's a ploy to get himself some rather expensive dental work.

One of the emails I saw from OW said "I'm so sorry for causing all of this - get your teeth fixed. You don't have to talk to me anymore."

Since he told OW he was around for the money (my money), I have to believe that he said he wasn't leaving me until he got his teeth fixed. Since he was caught and I saw this message, all talk of dental work has gone away.

Well, the comments I made were about his teeth. Funny, it didn't bother him before, but now it's so bad he started writing a 'self analysis' document. The whole thing revolved around his teeth. How he hides his true self and blah blah blah. Yep, all over the fact that he doesn't have enamel on his teeth. He left this document as a shortcut on the desktop and titled it "self". Yeah, like I wouldn't see that one.

So I'm fairly certain all of this is a game so that he can get his teeth fixed. Nice, huh? Sorry pal. If you think I'm shelling out $20k for your teeth you're more insane than I thought. Let your girlfriend pay for it. Oh, that's right, she's only with her man for the money too.


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
cmego
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Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WS has almost all of the signs of NPD...EXCEPT for the "rage". If *I* started getting upset (let's say because he ignored what I said, didn't respond, told me I was lying, told me I was crazy...) and I raised my voice...he would simply leave. Get up and walk out and tell me I was too emotional.

So, most of you talk about the rage, but I didn't see it...so if he doesn't rage, then is he still NPD?

He did almost all of the other things:

*He used to embarrass me so horribly in resturants that I would leave before the bill came. He will complain LOUDLY about how long it is taking, if there was a mistake, if it was too loud/cold/whatever.
*He makes fun of people whenever he can. He used to take pics of overweight people and send them to me.
*He refused to buy clothing at Wal-Mart or Target. It was "beneath him".
*He is very charming and spends all of his time making SURE people like him. He would bend over backwards to do "nice" things for people. If he gave a presentation to 1000 people...and 1 person gave him a negative review...he would obsess over the 1 negative response...for WEEKS.
*He is a good public speaker. Thrives on the attention.
*When we would walk into a room, or a party, he was always the life of the party. I would be left in a corner while he made the rounds.
*He always got in trouble at work for "steam rolling" people. He believed he was always right and wouldn't even listen to what other people's ideas were. His response is that he knows he is right.
*In the beginning of our relationship, he swept me off my feet. OVER the top romance, secret vacations, flowers, fancy resturants, hotels, jewelry. We were engaged quickly, and married within a year. I tried to slow it down, and he was so insistent. Within a year, it all stopped.
*The cheating (emotionally) started within a few years, that I can tell. Now, on top of this...the man is gay. He literally led two lives. He started full blown PA's (the best I can tell) after we'd been M about 8 years. He told me that he felt he had "a right" to "figure this out". He admitted that *MY* needs in a relationship did not matter to him.
*If he had a bad day at work, he would come home and talk and talk and obsess and talk. Never asked me about how my day was. If I had a "bad day" with the kids...he would cut me off and tell me that I should be thankful I get to stay home with them.
*He was very emotionally cruel to me during the A's. He told me that he didn't want to have sex because I was "too mean".
*If I questioned his locked phone, or constant travel...then he told me I was crazy and he treated me "like a princess"...that I had nothing to complain about.
*The affairs were "over the top" romance too. He took one to Hawaii for vacay, then another to New York for a theater/shopping weekend. Sent flowers, bought them all kinds of gifts. He hid money in his mother's bank account. I never noticed because he took care of the money and bills.
*If I questioned his over the top spending (for example, he bought 3 pair of jeans for $1000 one time)...he would say things like, "I make therefore I spend it". But if I bought something, then he would be all over me.
*My former SIL told me that he would say these very cruel things about me...but when they were around me, they couldn't figure out why he was saying those things. He turned me into a villain so he'd feel better about himself.
*His form of cruelty to me would be to ignore me. He'd leave to go to work before me or the children were up. Then he'd arrive home in time for dinner, help put the kids in bed, then leave to go exercise, run errands, get his hair cut. He'd arrive home to watch tv for 30 min..then head to bed. He'd never talk to me. If I tried, he was so distracted by the TV that it was pointless. When I complained about all of this, he'd tell me I was crazy.

*His main form of communication with people is to joke with them...or AT them. Then say, "Oh, I was JUST joking!"

*NOW when he comes over to my house, I have a strict NC in place. Here's a prime example:

I do not talk to him unless kids or finance. He came to drop of the kids and always comes into the house. I needed to have a TV moved, so I simply asked it he would move it for me. He instantly starts telling me, "I know you think you hate me, but there really isn't any reason."

So, I immediately say, "You cannot tell me how I feel" and walk away and tell him it's time to leave.

Yesterday, after kids first day at school, I tell him about a problem dd had with her homework and the solutions I came up with. He says immediately, "You shouldn't be frustrated with her". So I say, "*I* never said I was frustrated with her. YOU said that. Do NOT tell me how I feel". He starts saying, "that's not what I meant. You are too sensitive".

So I can see where he tries and tries to manipulate my emotions and feelings. I'm learning to recognize that any chance he can, he is telling me that what I am doing is not right, any small "dig" he can get in.

Here's classic examples from yesterday...we had to go to a new therapist for DD.
He takes one look at the therapist and said, "How old is that picture on your website?". Then, of course, starting giggling and back tracking and said, "your hair is just so different. It looks nice.".

Then he monopolizes the entire session. The only time I say anything is to correct details he's given and correct timelines (both things he cannot keep straight in his head).

The therapist finally looks at him and says, "So, you have the children every weekend?". He says, "No, every other". Then the therapist looks at me with a slightly blank look.

We had to talk about OUR mental history (not marital history). I said that after the death of my father, I did go on anti depressants for 1 year. She looked at WS and asked him...he said...and I quote...."I'm fine." I admit, I did cough at that, but said nothing.

So...what do you guys think??? Am I dealing with a "nice" NPD??? Or is this maybe something else??



me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3616 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*He used to embarrass me so horribly in resturants that I would leave before the bill came. He will complain LOUDLY about how long it is taking, if there was a mistake, if it was too loud/cold/whatever.

This one strikes me as odd. I can't see an NPD deliberately drawing negative attention to himself.

Did he not like going out to eat? I can see an NPD doing this if he wanted YOU to stop asking to go to restaurants.


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
cmego
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Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To me, it came across as being superior. The service MUST be perfect...or he had to complain. Loudly.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3616 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That would make an NPD person not go back to a particular restaurant, but NPDs generally wouldn't make a spectacle out of themselves in a negative way.

Did he like going out to eat?


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
soverybetrayed
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Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cmego, I see so much of the NPD in what you have written and he is so much like my stbx. They don't have to have every aspect of an NPD to be one. They can have some traits but not all of them. I think you just haven't gotten the rages yet but they are in there somewhere. I think we get the rage when we aren't giving them the supply they need.

My stbx's rage didn't start until about 3 years ago and it was always after he had been drinking. He was MR. Wonderful to everyone else but let me tell you, behind closed doors it was pure H#ll. I could say something as simple as "its late" and he would start screaming at me. I never understood what I had said wrong.

When we used to hang out with the neighbors and he was completely drunk he would embarrass me by making sexual comments about my body. He would pretend that no one could hear him but he always speaks loud enough for them to hear. It was so humiliating for me that I stopped hanging out.

This weekend is when I finally realized that I can never make him see what he has done to us and our marriage and I can't make him want to be better. He refuses to look inside to see his demons because it will destroy his image of himself. He has almost every trait of an NPD. This weekend he actually told me taht he is tried of me bringing up the past and I need to stop bringing up his whore. Really? We have never talked about what he did, he won't answer any questions about his affair and I am not allowed to talk about his whore that destroyed us? Ok, I am soooo done with this. We will now only discuss finances and only by email so I don't have to speak to him and get drawn back in.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1194 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Being an AWESOME ME!
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His behavior is always wrapped around making himself look better. So, he'd say everything with a "nice" edge.

Let's say we had to wait for our food...he would say to the waiter, "Wow...that took a really long time!". If the waiter said something like, "A table of 17 just came in..." WS then would say, "Bring your manager over here" in a very snarky way. Then when the manager would show up...he'd be insistent that we should get something free like, "We had to wait 10 minutes for our food. You are going to throw in dessert...right?".

I was embarrassed, because if the manager then would apologize but NOT give him the free dessert...he'd just get pushier until he got what he wanted.

Yes, he LOVES to go out to eat. He want people to wait on him. He LOVES to go into fancy places and have them faun all over him. "Oh, Mr Cmego! So glad you are here tonight! Here's our BEST table!". He thrives on it.

**edit to add**
Here's another. He had the kids this weekend, and they walk in talking about the "stupid cop who gave Daddy a parking ticket". The story was he parked somewhere and didn't put enough money in the machine. Didn't watch the time. So, of course, he got a ticket. He didn't say to the kids, "Well, that's a lesson learned! Gotta keep an eye on the time!" Oh...no...it was..."I was only over 10 minutes. That stupid cop must have been just waiting for me...watching the meter".

It is NEVER his fault. NEVER. Now the kids are picking up on the entire...blame someone else theme.

[This message edited by cmego at 10:10 AM, September 7th (Wednesday)]


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, separated 3 years, together 17
Alis volat propriis "She flies with her own wings"
separated 1/2011

Posts: 3616 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Virginia
heart_in_a_blend
♀ Member
Member # 24191
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

cmego:

You are obviously in an verbally abusive relationship. I learned how to handle and recognize what my abusive husband was doing by reading "The Verbally Abusive Relationship" by Patricia Evans.

It will teach you the categories of verbal abuse:
1. Withholding
2. Countering
3. Discounting
4. Verbal abuse disguised as jokes
5. Blocking and diverting
6. Accusing and blaming
7. Judging and criticizing
8. Trivializing
9. Undermining
10. Threatening
11. Name calling
12. Forgetting
13. Ordering
14. Denial
15. Abusive anger

This is one of the best books I've read. Now when my husband starts one of the above I know what he is up to and how to stop him. Believe me he still tries because that is who he is and leopards don't change their spots.

[This message edited by heart_in_a_blend at 10:28 AM, September 7th (Wednesday)]


In life, much of what one grieves one never had.

Posts: 3036 | Registered: May 2009
Toodevoted
♀ Member
Member # 33149
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let's say we had to wait for our food...he would say to the waiter, "Wow...that took a really long time!". If the waiter said something like, "A table of 17 just came in..." WS then would say, "Bring your manager over here" in a very snarky way. Then when the manager would show up...he'd be insistent that we should get something free like, "We had to wait 10 minutes for our food. You are going to throw in dessert...right?".

I was embarrassed, because if the manager then would apologize but NOT give him the free dessert...he'd just get pushier until he got what he wanted.

Mine does this EXACT same thing too. pretty embarrassing for sure.

To all those saying not to poke the bear - I totally agree with you, you're all so right - but hell it was good to be able to do it, felt better than I've felt in a long time! I'll try not to do it again though, I know I lose in the end


BS (me): 44
WH: 44
DD: Dec 2009 but let him rugsweep

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2011
Toodevoted
♀ Member
Member # 33149
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We walked out of a resaurant once without paying, ok the service wasn't that great, but a quiet word with a member of staff would have done. But it wasn't perfect and he was paying for perfect - he didn't get what he was paying for so didn't pay.

It's so black or white for him but his perception of perfect is not the same as most peoples and sometimes it's unrealistic.


BS (me): 44
WH: 44
DD: Dec 2009 but let him rugsweep

Posts: 60 | Registered: Aug 2011
wanttobeloved
♀ Member
Member # 30986
Default  Posted: 12:16 PM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can someone please give me the site where all the traits of NPD can be found,

Also some books to read that can help understand how to break free from NPD.

I have been told that with all the things he is doing that I need to be really careful, especially with the shemale porn and tranny porn. I have been told that this can lead to other problems. Is that true?

I live in some kind of wierd world also, one day everything is good, or so I think and the next it is just crazy.

I can never talk to him about the ONS because he says if we continue to talk about it we can never move past it, he claims not to remeber too much about what happened that night except what he has already tol me.

If I attempt to talk to him he gets very angry and says things like you never made a mistake? or why do you keep asking me the same questions do you think it is going to change anything?

So every day I sit and think to myself what happened to me? How did I get into this with such a heartless creature? WHat do I do now?


he continues to keep up the same routine he has had for ten years, calling me all the time and acting like he cares, making future plans, and making sure he stays in control, meanwhile I sit in disbelief and wonder what is he up to now?


BS (me):44
WH:46
4 kids, 26, 21,21,19(3 live with me)
3 grands, 9,7(live with me)and 9 months
DDAY October 26, 2010
doubtful

Posts: 357 | Registered: Jan 2011
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Shutup  Posted: 12:25 PM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I filed for divorce May 2009. It hasn't been granted yet. In the meantime, I have taken the high road in nearly everything and maintained excellent NC (if I didn't, the ex would suck me into being friendly). I was always civil, but never friendly, which Dickhead interpreted as I still wanted him and he continues to crap all over the custody/support orders. I finally lost patience after he applauded himself for being civil these past 2 years, called him on The Troll stalking me at school, after which he told me I needed medication, to fuck off and not to contact him except for kids/divorce matters. Gee, why didn't I think of that...

So imagine my suprise when I got this from him yesterday (in lieu of the child support that I was supposed to be getting on Sunday):

*********************************************
From: Asshole McLoserpants

Would have been great advice in the past...

-----------------------------------------

Hello fellow declutterers,

Question:
What is the greatest challenge to anyone
who wants to live in an uncluttered home?

Answer:
Trying to declutter Someone Else!

Yes! It's one thing to deal with your own messes.
When it comes to those, you know who is responsible -
you are!

But what if it's your wife, husband, partner, teenager,
or your parent who is far too cluttered (and driving
you nuts)?

blah blah blah deleted

-----------------------------------------------

For realz??? 20 years, 3 kids, countless crack whores and chickenheads, 1 broken nose, soft tissue damage in my back, disk bulge in my neck, and possible nerve damage -- and you've still got your panties in a bunch about housework????

Needless to say, I spent a little bit of time in scream therapy yesterday.

And to answer the question, NPD's will most definitely throw tantrums in public. They don't all see it as calling negative attention to themselves; their tender selves simply cannot handle the gross incompetence of lesser mortals, and the ones who throw public tantrums probably think that everyone is cheering them on.

We got together in 1989. The physical abuse didn't start until 2006, after I found out about the affairs and refused to play at being the good little housewife anymore.

[This message edited by veritas at 12:40 PM, September 7th (Wednesday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
toughgirl8
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Member # 29812
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In 11 yrs of M, the rage didn't come from my H until I went into hard 180 following the A, about 6 months ago. The NPD supply stopped. I didn't cry over it anymore, I didn't compromise to correct my shortcomings, I stopped having sex, I emotionally shut down from his perspective and he had no clue what to do with me.

His frustration (particularly sexual) caused him to start with the blatant emotional and verbal abuse. He started a very predictable pattern of abusive then when that didn't work for a week or 2, he switched to killing me with kindness and consideration (and pointing it out at every chance) then when that didn't work, he went back to abusive. (EVERYTHING on the Verbal Abuse list!)

He used to be very subtle about it, no rage, just "jokes" that hurt me and others, trying to get things for free, he's a champion haggler (wink wink) and a salesman in every way. He could sell me on my being wrong, my nasty depression early in our M had "nothing to do with me, it's all genetic and chemical, you need drugs!"

I now know I just needed me and my needs to be a priority for him. They never were.

The restaurant scenario certainly sounds familiar to me, my H speaks oh so nicely but it's sarcastic with a wink If someone gets hurt, usually me or my StepD, occasionally my 6 yr old now, it was "only a joke, you know I didn't mean it"

Yeah, yeah I do know you meant it. Every word. You just don't want to deal with the consequences.


Me-37
WH-41
M-12 yrs
D Day-3/2010
4 kiddoes
Some may say I have a short temper, I say I have a swift and assertive reaction to bull sh't. ;)

Posts: 327 | Registered: Oct 2010
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, September 7th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And to answer the question, NPD's will most definitely throw tantrums in public. They don't all see it as calling negative attention to themselves; their tender selves simply cannot handle the gross incompetence of lesser mortals, and the ones who throw public tantrums probably think that everyone is cheering them on.

Maybe I got lucky (LOL) because my H would never have done that. He'd wait til we were in the car and then proceed to tell me how whatever was wrong was MY fault because I wanted to go out to eat, I picked the restaurant, he told me he didn't want to go, blah blah blah.

That's how he got out of doing things he didn't like to do. He'd pick apart every experience we had until I no longer wanted to do anything. So much fun.

it was "only a joke, you know I didn't mean it"

Oh I love that one. "I was kidding! You had to know I was kidding. Anyone with half a brain would know that was a joke." (Yes, I would be insulted again for not playing along that it was a joke)

So, now that I think of it, how many here got to hear "I told you so" almost daily? Never an ounce of credit for things that went well, but for EVERY minor flaw in a plan I'd be reminded "I told you so. When are you going to learn that I'm always right about these things, and that I know people way better than you do. It's infuriating that I keep telling you whats going to happen and you keep ignoring me. And now I get to sit hear and listen to you complain, just like I said would happen!"


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

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