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User Topic: N P D Thread part 9
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, October 14th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wontdefineme,

NPD level 9 or 10....PA? more than likely. They often go together. Lot's of bullying and mindfucking to keep you off balance so he can cotrol you more easily and get what he wants.....all about him and his wants and needs. Everything you wrote.....NPD.

Oral sex thing.....needs the other ladies to want him and fantasize about him. He needs to be desired by all...not just you. i.e. the cheating....probably more than one. He was flirting for a reason.....looking for opportunities.

Glad he's gone....start working on your dreams....even if it is just dreams. Do not include him in the dreams.....fantasize about life without him....it helps.


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 5:15 PM, October 14th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sadtoo,

My STBXW fought me tooth and nail over a damn$6.00 spatula. I kept it hidden from her when she was moving a truckload of shit out of the house....she noticed the rubermaid spatula was missing and threw a fit....I let her leave pissed off and later gave it to her. I just wanted to see how anal she could get.....NPD test.

[This message edited by Frank2010 at 5:19 PM, October 14th (Friday)]


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
amorfati
♀ Member
Member # 29374
Default  Posted: 6:16 PM, October 14th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is probably my second post to this thread, but I am just needing some support/insight today.

How do you come to the terms with the fact that you're SO did not love you because they couldn't truly feel love as it is meant to be experienced? (As something with a relatively selfless aspect that includes empathy towards the other person.)

This is the most painful aspect. As I work tirelessly to overcome the impact he had on my life, he goes on with this...unscathed, possbily even content/happy because he is getting what he wants. He lives life solely for his wants/needs...how can one not be happy when their desires are the only thing they care about?

It's just painful. I loved him as truly as I could. I did. Even now, I sincerely care about him and his happiness, despite what he has done to mine. But he feels nothing like that towards me.

Anyone else experience similar pangs of sadness over this matter?


BGF: 23
Him: Out of the picture.
My story? Summed up by the last line of Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises: "Isn't it pretty to think so?"
Alternately summed up by this awesome Mark Twain quote, "There is no humor in heaven."

Posts: 698 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Chicago, IL
MaleableReality
♀ Member
Member # 22451
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, October 14th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@amorfati - take comfort in the fact that YOU are a normal human being and can find love again. The fact that you loved him and still have some love for him means that you're a great person. They target people who are like us because they know we'll pour love into them.

Posts: 64 | Registered: Jan 2009
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, October 14th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NPD(She is Empty)
Frank, I like that tag. That is what I told my gf the other day when we were discussing my XSO. He is empty inside. His soul is buried so deeply he no longer has access to it. He is not a happy person (of course, because he can't find his soul). He also can't love. He doesn't love himself, so how could he love another?

The reason many NPD's go into some type of substance abuse is to numb their pain. For them, life is boring a lot, and empty. They play games and manipulate others to create some drama, some interest, something to make them "feel" alive. But it only works for so long. I have been close with 3 NPDs (yeah, I know, don't say it) and none of them are happy inside. Some of them are good at putting up the facade, but I got close enough to know better.

All 3 of them have called themselves "monsters" or the equivalent. On a deep level they realize they are not right, but they are not willing to explore the problem. That is the hardest part for me to understand, but I think it has something to do with if they admit they are broken, everything will fall apart for them....everything they so carefully constructed all those years to hold themselves together and be able to live with themselves. They know they have caused others pain, and they don't want to have to feel that or deal with it. They also don't want to face the "monster" inside. So they keep burying it.

For all 3, it has been crucial to maintain their outside image. They are masters of the smoke and mirrors.

All 3 of them did exhibit narcissistic rage. And it is a scary thing to see, especially in a full grown 250 pound man.

The first two were not that hard for me to walk away from, once I realized they were not right. This last one though, even though I know he is NPD, I am having a very difficult time giving him up. Not sure why.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14914 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Jpapageorge
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Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, October 14th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"But as I move into my new life I take solace in knowing there was nothing I could have done to save the marriage." Frank, thank you for posting this, it sums up what I have been trying to remind myself evr since she ripped my heart from my chest, showed it to me while it was still beating and looked at me confused that I was hurt.(Feeble attempt on my part here to sound poetic and intelligent)

Thank you also to all the Tribe, I do not post much because I do not have the wisdom nor the insight to help as much as others but I do lurk everyday and try to learn from the "Tribal Elders."

The sun is scheduled to come up tommorrow and by God I plan on being around to see the event, or at least witness the after effects since sunrise comes a little early for this night shift worker.

Be well, be safe and reach for happiness one and all.


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1656 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
veritas
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Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 10:56 PM, October 14th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

@trixie: the absolute best thing you can do at this time is to let go of all emotion and think of things as they look to a judge.

To that end, you need a very good family court lawyer.

Your husband is alleging that you kidnapped the children. Find evidence that he knew you were moving and either approved or didn't care.

The rest of it -- find documentation of his affairs, but that should not be your focus if you didn't initially file that way. You should still document this if it comes down to "he said, she said."


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
ohgoodgrief
♀ Member
Member # 30538
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, October 16th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello, all. Long time no post.
Need some advice, insight, help.
Here's my latest installment.
I knew my NPDH was going to drive a certain car and I'm still trying to get proof so I taped a var under the seat. Not much under there, but figured he'd just drive it one day, then drive his regular car, so not likely he'd look.
So he drove it Thursday and tells me Friday morning he is going to drive it again and have his car guy clean it up. It wasn't dirty.
Anyway, when I finally had a chance to retrieve the var it was taped under the same seat but in a different place with the same tape. I am absolutely certain it was moved. (didn't hear jack on it either.)
Now, am I wrong or wouldn't a normal person who found a var in their car bring it in and say what the hell is this? Would a normal person just put it back? And if this normal person put it back, wouldn't they take care to put it in the same place?
I am thinking he put it back in a different place so I'd know he found it but not say anything. And that maybe he had the car guy clean it up so I wouldn't know who found it--him or the car guy.
He and ace guy are buddies. If car guy found it he would have told him. No way H doesn't know it was there.
My IC who also is our MC says he would really enjoy mind games, as he is somewhat sadistic in addition to being NPD.
Oh, hit me with the 2x4's please!
I am sick, sick, sick of all this.
And by the way, in case I haven't mentioned before, he took a poly, failed, insisted on another one with a different tester and failed even worse.
He says he was just so upset over the questions that's why he failed. Ha.
Anyway, my atty wanted me to put on a good act, act non suspicious and relaxed to see if I can catch him screwing around.
I just don't know if that's going to work, considering he found the var.
Advice please!

Posts: 311 | Registered: Dec 2010
Frank2010
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Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 1:58 PM, October 16th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't sweat it. If he found it....so what? Yeh, if it is moved, he found it. If he found it he cleaned it up. What was on there.....anything.....radio, phone convo, other people, the clean up guy's vaccum? Are the noises consistant? Are there breaks? Does the song on the radio skip sections? Sudden starts and stops?

Doesn't really matter. Just enjoy the thought of him finding VAR and wondering "holy shit, I wonder how much shit she has heard?"

He may also be thinking that he can use this device to convince you he is up to nothing. "If he leaves it and you never get any goodies on there then that proves he is the good guy."

Worst thing that has happened here is you will have to find a different place to record him....unfortunately....the car is the best place.

You might think about getting a second VAR and put it somewhere else in the car and leave the one he found in place. Then you will know if he is fucking with the one that was already there. Surely he would not search for a second one. If you remove the first one remove the second one too because if he finds the first one missing he will search the car to see if you moved it.

Have some fun fucking with him. Put the VAR back without the tape and let him go nuts trying to find the tape without letting you know he is hunting for it.

Or leave the tape in there with a message from you to him. "Hey fuck tard I know you are doctoring the tape. I guess that means you have something to hide". " Your mission should you choose to accept it is to get down on your knees and beg me not to kick your ass to the curb. This tape will self destruct in 10 seconds as it is attached to a remote bomb. Kiss your ass good bye FuckTard!!!!"

I have a million ideas but I do not want to stifle your artistic side. By the way....I now call this new art form "Artistic Redemption" it is an art form of "Artistic Expression of Emotion"

If you want to take up a form of art to help your healing....I suggest "Artistic Redemption"

Alas, I am just being snarky. Seriously do not worry if he has found it. Enjoy the fact that he will not feel secure in any of his secrecy because now....."Big Brother is Watching".


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
ohgoodgrief
♀ Member
Member # 30538
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, October 16th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, Frank
Loved your reply. Laughed my ass off!
So, I took your advice. When I found it, it was turned off and there was nothing on there except the sounds of me putting it in. He either erased it or I effed up putting it in. SO! I put it back where I found it, like I hadn't found it, except I turned it on. Even if he looks, like me, he can't be sure if he turned it off as the buttons are on the side and the tape can sometimes interfere.
So now he will wonder if I came to take it out and decided to leave it, if I forgot it was there, or if I'm just fucking with him. Ha! Great idea!
Will get more batteries tomorrow and see if I can find a good place for second var. Watch, he won't drive that car all week. That's how my luck rolls.
But thanks for the idea and the laugh. I love snarkiness!

Posts: 311 | Registered: Dec 2010
trixie2010
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Member # 27422
Default  Posted: 5:09 PM, October 16th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with Frank about putting in a second one and leaving the first--he will never check for another one. Great idea!
I always used the pocket on the back of the front passenger seat...best place of all the places I tried. I would hide it in a glove so it just looked like a glove was in the pocket if he checked.

Also, I am a bit surprised he failed the lie detector test...for some reason I always thought NPD's would be able to fool one. I think my stbxh would pass with flying colors because of his NPD and not giving a shit about anything and believing his lies so much that to him they were true.


Countless Ddays
WH confirms EA/denies anything else...??
possible R, not really sure will see how it goes
update--5-27-10--kicked his ass to the curb--she can have him!
He has been living with ow since June 2010.

Posts: 555 | Registered: Feb 2010
ohgoodgrief
♀ Member
Member # 30538
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, October 16th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trixie,
Regarding the poly...I think that's what he thought too. That he had compartmentalized so much that he could convince himself it's not true.
After they were over, he said, he'll, maybe I'm lying to myself! In a joking way of course.
He's guilty and his body betrayed him....

Posts: 311 | Registered: Dec 2010
Llanden
♀ Member
Member # 10402
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, October 16th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't been on in awhile .... classes, my girls... my ex and lots of sickness (tis the season) but whenever I start to feel down and out, or like my self esteem is just eroding I start compiling a list of "strength" quotes from my most favorite site ever. I ran across this particular little article and I liked the excerpt so I figured I would post it here.

he needs to understand not only what the issues were that led to the failure of the relationship, but he also needs to actually give a monkey’s about you, and potentially want to be different…for himself.

For a start, many of the men that fail to validate or ‘get’ what it is that is the problem, have a lack of empathy that can sometimes associate them with being borderline narcissists.

Some of these men have the compassion of a stone, some live on me-me-me island, some just can’t see past their nose never mind their penises, and some have absolutely zero interest in understanding a damn thing that comes out of your mouth. In fact, whatever they say, they have very little real interest in you! It is about their needs, their wants, and their expectations – what you need, want, or expect is not part of the equation.

Often, and this will be hard to hear, you don’t want him to validate or understand you because you care about his welfare and want him to be a better person for him, regardless. You want him to do these things for you.

Herein lies the problem because not only do you still need and want him on some level, but you don’t realize the favor he’s doing by being his true self, and you don’t realize that you cannot impose change upon someone and if they have to do a 360 degree turn to fit into your idea of the relationship, in fact, if you need them to change full stop for it to work, this ship is not sailing! I know we have been raised to believe we have to raise a man from the ground up and that we should just change him when things don’t work because we know better, but actually, we don’t. You are throwing your emotional energy into the abyss…

They’re disconnected from themselves and don’t really do introspection so you’re expecting quite a lot of them.

You want him to see something that he just doesn’t see. I see one of these guys and I think ‘assclown’. They look at themselves in the mirror and think ‘I’m a great catch, I just haven’t found the right woman yet and she’s just crazy and needy.’ Do you really think that people who think like this are going to think ‘Ah..she just wants me to understand…’? No, they just think you’re even crazier and needier, and that they are justified in their behavior.

You’re still expecting and even though you may feel that you are justified in this thought process because of everything you have been through, it’s a bit like taking out a bad investment and then investing even more emotional money in trying to make it a good investment.

Sometimes it is best to cut your losses, recognize how you ended up making a bad investment, and move the hell on. Yes it will be painful, yes it’s a loss, but you can minimize the effect of the loss by controlling how much more energy you invest. I’m not saying you can’t feel upset about a bad investment; I am however saying that there comes a time when the wallowing and the obsessing has taken its hold on you for too long and you’re using it to avoid dealing with the fallout of the bad investment and taking charge of your own happiness. Whilst some people do seem to be at their most comfortable when they’re miserable and blaming others (not a good thing), most people should be uncomfortable with being like this.

People are unpredictable and just because you think, feel, and act one way doesn’t mean that the object of your affections will think, feel, and act as you do.

If he’s not in the relationship, and you are, whether that’s because you have what you think are both of your feet in the relationship whilst he has one or neither, or whether the relationship is over but you’re still invested, he’s not going to be validating anything but the negatives.

If your relationship has none or rocky foundations and doesn’t have strong boundaries and values at the cornerstone of it, you are unlikely to be on the same page. We choose men that reflect the things that we believe about ourselves, love, and relationships and at the end of the day, if you’re seeking validation from a man you’ve been engaged in a poor relationship with, you can’t possibly be someone carrying positive beliefs.

Why? Because you don’t need this guy to validate what you already know. Whilst acknowledgment and retribution in the form of him having an epiphany about himself is nice to have, it’s very unrealistic, and ultimately it won’t really change much if you don’t learn how to validate your own beliefs and perceptions. Plus you could be in for a long wait…

If you know what he did was wrong, you don’t need him to validate that judgment.

If you recognize that you are being disrespected, and he doesn’t, it doesn’t matter because you’re the one who has made the judgment call. Why do you need to teach him anything?

Taken from : http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/seeking-validation-understanding-in-your-poor-relationships-part-one/


Nite nite all


"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
“Who makes everything we experience happen? You. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!” Sweat Pea from Sucker Punch
BS 35
DD's 14, 7 and 5

Posts: 567 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: New York
whyohwhyohwhy
♀ Member
Member # 17890
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, October 17th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How do you come to the terms with the fact that you're SO did not love you because they couldn't truly feel love as it is meant to be experienced? (As something with a relatively selfless aspect that includes empathy towards the other person.)


Eventually, you come to just accept that they are incapable of loving anyone, especially themselves.

Sometimes, I think it helps to think of the corollary to this, as in ...did you really love them, or did they just fulfill your need for abuse/codependency etc.


I struggled with whether or not I had actually loved x, or if I only thought I loved him because he so closely matched what I subconciously thought I needed at the time. (My father was, and continues to be a truly horrendous narcissist.)

When I married X, I thought I had gotten as far away from my father as possible...x was as physically/personality different as possible...much taller, different race, different job, different interests, talkative, etc., but as it turned out, psychologically, they were identical twins.


what did I ever do to deserve this?

Me:47 BS
Him: X, 51 PA SA NPD?
2 kids; DD14, DD8 divorced


Posts: 1030 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: east coast
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, October 18th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did got throught a period where I had to process that I loved someone who really didn't love me. Once I dug under that I found that more than anything I was angry at myself for allowing him to waste so many yrs of my life catering to him and his needs.

You are not broken, he is. About the only thing you can do with that is to accept it and then move on.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
SabinatheOwl
♀ Member
Member # 30023
Target  Posted: 10:23 AM, October 19th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone~

This is my first post on this part of SI, typically I post on the SA Spouses threads, but I’m more and more convinced that my SAWH is also either NPD or BPD. He seems to fall in line most with BPD, and I’ve only seen rage once. He is in IC, although I dislike the IC & am dubious about his ‘helpfulness’, although truth be told, SAWH is highly resistant and a proven liar. Regardless of what his exact problems are, I’m reaching out for help. My story is in my profile; it’s pretty long but it’s there in case you’re interested. We’re still together because I’m financially dependent on him although I’m making plans and laying foundations for S ASAP when I’ve set aside as much money as I need for a rental and legalities.

My current strategy is to ‘play house’ so to speak. I’m allowing him to rugsweep, thus on the surface ‘everything is fine’ as far as he’s concerned. This frees me to continue strategizing and planning and keeping tabs while (hopefully) SAWH is lulled into complacency- meaning I hope he’s fooled into thinking he’s got me under control again. I’m in IC and I’m on meds, but due to work schedule conflicts I’ve had to drop attending S-Anon meetings. I’m hoping to find a meeting on another night that works with my schedule. I just got my car back from the shop after 2 weeks (chronic car computer problem), so I’ll be making up for lost time.

I picked up Stop Walking on Eggshells and started reading it, but then it disappeared. Turns out SAWH had taken it and was flipping through it. I asked him why he was reading it and he didn’t say anything, but I lost my cool and accused him, “You think I have BPD, don’t you?!” Which, as soon as I said it I realized I shouldn’t have ever said anything, but I was upset and kept pushing it. ANYway- he agreed with me, saying Yes he thinks I’m BPD. I stopped fussing and I’ve just let it go. There’s nothing I can do to change his mind, but it annoys the crap out of me (still) that no matter what happens, the responsibility always comes back to me. Always. When he looks in the mirror he never sees himself.

Reading this thread and thread #8 has given me the shivers. I recognize so many of the feelings and scenarios written here. My heart hurts for everyone going through this. I feel so stupid for falling for & tolerating his abusive $h!t and for believing him for so long, even though I know my childhood set me up to be the perfect victim (my mom is both NPD & BPD) and I recognize that fooling me has been his primary objective for many years. I still feel like I’ve been played. That I’m a dupe. I’m angry at myself and at SAWH that I have to play childish, manipulative, dangerous games to keep myself and our youngest DS safe until I can leave with DS. Grrr..

I’m sure I’ll be back often, I need to vent to someone and get feedback and 2x4’s and support and to offer the same.

~ Sabina


Details & story in profile

"Live a life not an apology." Edward R.Murrow

"I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it."

Maya Angelou


Posts: 1350 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Metro DC
MaleableReality
♀ Member
Member # 22451
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, October 19th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cross-posting in alcholic thread as well. I am here at work, running over in my mind all the ways that visitation pickup can go tonight. My exNPD-alcoholic has successfully triggered all my childhood abuse issues and I'm basically shaking. My girlfriend asked what it is that I think it going to happen - that he might attack me physically? No, not really, I mean he never has but I do think the potential is there. I actually welcome that because while it would suck, it would create a piece of evidence that there is a problem which I could point to rather than what I currently have, the "your word against his" situation I find myself in. I don't know what has me so freaked out. I think it's just knowing that I will have to endure the heaping pile of emotional abuse and shame he's going to pour all over me. Even though I know he's wrong, even though I know I am doing what I have to do to protect my kids, I know that the things he says are going to hurt me. He's so very good at it.

Maybe he will show up smelling like a brewery, which would be ridiculous since he knows that I'm serious and he won't be taking his kids if he does. Maybe he'll get so angry when I tell him he's not seeing them that he flips out and does physically attack me. Then when I call the police they will not only arrest him for assault, but for DUI too.

I'm so tired of thinking about this.


Posts: 64 | Registered: Jan 2009
Frank2010
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Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, October 19th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STO,

Sorry to see you here. We have spoken on other forums and PMed in the past. This is possibly one of the worst forums/threads to be on. Mainly because there is no hope for us to fix anything. The main focus on this thread is learning to deal with what we are destined to have to deal with.

Reading and learning are the best tools we have. Not a lot of material available on NPD. MOst studies and info comes from the victims of NPD. They are such good actors it is hard to examine their minds.

You have arleady read about the traits and recognized them. Now comes the part of accepting what you are learning. That is the hard part. It hurts. It leaves you angry for being duped. It leaves you angry for wasting your life on someone that never loved you. It leaves you feeling insecure with yourself....you were not good enough, pretty enough, satisfying enough, etc. It leaves you questioning everything you believed in ......you have been exposed as a fool for not seeing all the signs. The list goes on.

Next step is accepting the fact that they are and always have been permanently broken and you will never fix them or the marriage.

Detaching is the next step and very difficult because most of us have been trained to be co dependent over the years. Slowly we changed our lives to comply with their needs and wants. We started to live through them and for them. That is part of what they do. It happens so slowly we don't notice we are being manipulated.

I am happy you are still "playing the game" and preparing to exit. I hope that day comes for you very soon. The sooner you get out the sooner you can move forward with your life.....a new life.

Read here and post as often as you can. Writing this down helps you see things just as well as reading.


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, October 19th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Frank you Rock!

Why the hell are we even here in the first place huh? O yea, I FORGOT for a sec...MY BAD!

he’s fooled into thinking he’s got me under control again.


I recommend this. Manipulate the empty manipulators for your sake.
They really are, not that smart.
Once you see it for what it is?
You should be able to play em like violins.

Just try not to lol in their faces or in their hearing. Once they twig you’re on to their game, they’ll be watching for that. You gotta be careful. School yourself. Practice blank looks, mild surprise – to ‘cover’ your realization of what they are (not).

Let them consider in their broken empty minds that you really DO think ‘that way’, it will at least – buy you time, even IF you’re not ready to see them for what they are…

@ 2, count em 2! Veterans, “elders” to TRIBE have said “accept”…I love their posts!

Lied 2 especially lays it out in an o so beautiful way, not beating you over the head, but in a quiet whisper…”it’s about you”….

Your anger, despair, resentment, ET CET ERA! Pay attention to you now, iow.
It’s your turn.
(((TRIBE)))


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:50 PM, October 21st (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh! Just need to vent here to my peeps here who will understand...

My mom has stage 4 bladder cancer, so my life is upside-down right now. I'm stressed to the max, and am barely able to keep it together some days.

Predictably, the Assclown NPD has chosen this time to ramp up his assholery. His antics have brought me to tears more than once this week.

At issue today are some medical expenses I emailed over to him for reimbursement of his half. First he questions me on two of the receipts, then he sends an email to me saying that he is going to deduct $45 from his payment for school supplies that he bought for the kids. Fucker! I spend a couple hundred dollars on school supplies each year. Do I ask him to repay me?? He can take his receipt and shove it up his ass!

He never buys them a damn thing. Not shoes, not haircuts, not clothes, not soccer fees, not school dances or yearbooks...nothing. I was shocked when he bought them school supplies. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he would expect me to repay him for that kind gesture.

I just don't have any fight in me right now. And I know it probably won't do me any good anyway.

Would you respond? What would you say?

Right now I'm wishing him dead. Again.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


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