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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread part 9
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, December 16th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Remember to hide the spots on the dominoes. That's key.
Don't let em peek.
You might be unable to fake drooling stupidity at this point, so maybe you could feign forgetfulness...indifference to their o-so-deep questions and attempts to engage you...think of them as a child..."oh, look over here!"...distraction...silenceis best. Silence is quite comforting to me...envision *crickets*, and a calm heart, peace.

I am so laffing my ass off at the caulk guns that were left off the SS Narcissus.

We now gots an official boat folks! LMAO!
WTG Frank!


Posts: 6032 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
OhThePain
♀ Member
Member # 33585
Default  Posted: 11:11 PM, December 16th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi, I'm the lurker who has only posted once. I still haven't told my stories but wanted to say thank you to Frank!

The marriage would have to be infinitely better than it was to keep me in it. I just don't think that is possible with a NPD. I don't think they have the ability to make the changes, because it was, is, and always will be all about what they need, feel, and want. It wasn't, isn't, and never will be, about us. And we need and want more now than we did before, because infidelity took away what little we had, and were hanging onto.

That describes it, doesn't it?

What a bizarre world I've found myself in these past couple of weeks as I'm realizing I'm in NPD land.


Posts: 119 | Registered: Oct 2011
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:23 AM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe)))

Awesome story, Frank. SS Narcissus...love it!

Hugs and strength to all of you who are newly uncovering the truth about what you have been dealing with.

Never underestimate the NPD. They have more crazy in them than a leopard has spots. Get a good lawyer. Be as much No Contact as possible. Play your cards close to the vest. Keep yourself safe and your home secure. The NPD who is losing control will resort to all sorts of ugly behaviors including physical violence, stalking and breaking-in.

Be strong all of you. The NPDs are notorious for ramping up their games during times such as the holidays.

Wishing each of you peace.

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 1:23 AM, December 17th (Saturday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7636 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
irrelevancy
♀ New Member
Member # 33579
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Captain NPD....

Love it! It matches their view of themselves and yet we know that their ship is sinking and even if it's not sinking now, it's not a safe place to be long term.


The greatest gift a father can give his children is to love (or at the very least, respect) their mother....

That didn't happen.... we're divorced as a result.


Posts: 49 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: healing land
ItsRocky
♀ Member
Member # 30327
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Captain NPD was years ago. And he wasn't so bad, it was when he got to be Col. NPD that I was trying to live balanced on the end of a tack.

I got so frustrated, one day I actually dared to interupt one of his lectures to say:

You know it is not insubordination for me to have a different opinion.

He looked like I had slapped him, so I guess he didn't see it that way.

I am not gonna miss that crap, if, I can ever get this legal process wrapped up.

(Actually a Navy Capt = a Col.)

[This message edited by ItsRocky at 5:30 PM, December 17th (Saturday)]


Thanks for all the support in my healing, outlived my usefulness on SI, time to move on.

Posts: 1460 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: SouthEast
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Christmas shopping is so easy for you NPD Wives. For us NPD Husbands (there are so few of us since the larger percentage of NPDs are men).

It is easy to find caulk guns in almost any store. I am trying to find a zebra duck....can anyone tell me where I might find one. Christmas just won't be complete if I don't find one. Time is running out.


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine is a captain IRL and has all the caulk guns and tubes to prove his NPD.

Posts: 2079 | Registered: Mar 2011
Free2012
♀ Member
Member # 34070
Default  Posted: 1:47 AM, December 18th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Frank)))
Go to google, put in " Devil Zebra Duck" and choose the shop with the best conditions.


There is no way out but through

Divorced

BS: me 41 yrs
WH: him 67 yrs , married OW (39yrs) 5/13
2 kids aged 7 and 9
married for 12 years
D-Day 16.10.10
Divorced, final 03/12


Posts: 53 | Registered: Nov 2011
Free2012
♀ Member
Member # 34070
Default  Posted: 1:51 AM, December 18th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Frank)))
Go to google, put in " Devil Zebra Duck" and choose the shop with the best conditions.


There is no way out but through

Divorced

BS: me 41 yrs
WH: him 67 yrs , married OW (39yrs) 5/13
2 kids aged 7 and 9
married for 12 years
D-Day 16.10.10
Divorced, final 03/12


Posts: 53 | Registered: Nov 2011
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, December 18th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanx Free, found it. It led me to amazon.com.....$6.99


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
toughgirl8
♀ Member
Member # 29812
Default  Posted: 8:53 AM, December 19th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Ohthepain))

And we need and want more now than we did before, because infidelity took away what little we had, and were hanging onto.

Absolutely.


Me-37
WH-41
M-12 yrs
D Day-3/2010
4 kiddoes
Some may say I have a short temper, I say I have a swift and assertive reaction to bull sh't. ;)

Posts: 327 | Registered: Oct 2010
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, December 19th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was reading older postings on the rage. Mine has done the rage since before we even married, but without the knowledge and wisdom, who would know.

Well the rage finally found a new person to be aimed at, HER. He hates her now, tells me she is a selfish horrible person, etc. Manipulating me? Being honest with himself? Hell no, she probably threw him under the bus at work.

With knowledge comes strength, thanks for the entries here that keep me on track when his "NICE" is let out. Which includes stuff like "what do you have to lose?" I feel like I am playing tug of war, dare, and all those other games they play where they are in control and god forbid they give one ounce first.

My healing has started, but I don't feel I can let my guard down yet. I need the memories to keep me moving forward and away from him.


Posts: 2079 | Registered: Mar 2011
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, December 19th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"what do you have to lose?"

All the progress you have made!!!!


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, December 19th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Question? Do NPDs keep you broke buying stuff because they are going to do whatever they just blew their/our money on again. I'm cleaning out the storage room and I came across things he had to have right now, yet barely used, if at all. Im sitting here broke at this stage of life because he had an empty hole for his soul. I guess it could be worse, he could be sitting here still spending money with my name attached. At least I never got used to having a lot of money cause he's making sure I don't have much now.

Posts: 2079 | Registered: Mar 2011
Frank2010
♂ Member
Member # 29438
Default  Posted: 4:16 AM, December 20th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine did.....lots of frivolous things....but I spent it too. If she said "oh that is cute" or "oh, I want one".....then oh, I got it. But that was me just trying to keep her in a good mood. She was always happiest when there was money to spare and spend. When things got tight.....horrible moods and general unhapiness.

Of course with the history rewrite.....I never gave her anything or did anything for her....And God forbid I ever spent a dime on me.....

But I don't care about any of that now.....it was only money. And I will make more.


Me 56 BS
Her 59 WS NPD(She is Empty)
D-day#1 05-01-10
Dday#2 06-04-10 previous ONS 9-24-09 AFF hookups

Status: S & D'ing


Posts: 1195 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: North Texas
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, December 20th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I enabled mine to destroy our lives because he worked hard and deserved it. He knew how to manipulate me, but god forbid he not get what he wanted or I stand up and so no we can't afford it. NPD rages. Wanted to buy land after I knew of A, I told him it was awful and that was why no one was buying it. You would have thought I had just taken a toy away from a child. Threw the biggest fit because he couldn't have it. Need to journal all that stuff so I don't forget it. I will, just not until after ink has dried on the D papers.

Posts: 2079 | Registered: Mar 2011
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, December 22nd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night I went to DSS's to babysit. He said he was having Christmas Eve at his house and invited me to come over.
He said his Dad was coming but he would tell him to come later and I could be there early.
My response was,"No I won't and won't chance sharing space with his NPD Dad ."
Then DSS asked what NPD was so I explained. He looked me in the eye and asked if he was one too. I said yes. He is a different type but still is definitely NPD.
Holy crap I wasn't expecting or prepared for THAT question !!!
He said he wanted to talk at length about NPD after the holiday week. I will encourage him to go back to IC but also will be holding up the mirror to him.
This is going to be interesting.
How do you tell someone they are really fucked up ????
gma

[This message edited by gma56 at 12:52 PM, December 22nd (Thursday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
heart_in_a_blend
♀ Member
Member # 24191
Default  Posted: 1:12 PM, December 22nd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Carefully.


In life, much of what one grieves one never had.

Posts: 3036 | Registered: May 2009
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, December 22nd (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is me screaming...................................................................................................................................................................................................
you freaking moran!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even throwing stuff and breaking it doesn't give me any satisfaction anymore. That's a good sign, I'm not as mad anymore, just get slightly frustrated.

Just sent him an email to tell him to forward 2 things to the bank, that I would send everything else and listed what I would send. He emails me back that I have everything else and he will send his.

AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Guess he only read as much as HE WANTED TO.

screammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Thank god he hardened his heart and I didn't have to stay. OMG, what would have happened if he had done everything that I had asked him to, I'd still be with this selfish, stupid, ignorant, nasty, hurtful, etc., jerk!


Posts: 2079 | Registered: Mar 2011
Feeling Consumed
♀ Member
Member # 30592
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, December 25th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have not had time to read through all the posts, so not sure if this question has been asked yet or not, but, can a person with NPD be passive-aggressive? Seems like what I have read about NPDers is that they are outright verbally abusive.

My XH was not - quite the opposite. He wouldn't talk to me for weeks if he was mad. I walked around in fear that something would trigger him off and I would be punished by him ignoring me for literally weeks! He wouldn't talk, never bring it up, just ignore me. Is this NPD too? Seems pretty self-centered to not be able to communicate, so I was just wondering.

Thanks for the help. Doesn't really matter at this point I guess, but it could help me move forward if I can add another negative trait to his list so I will feel better that our almost 3 decade long relationship is over.


Spent half my life with an Ahole
D final!!! 11-11

"Obladi oblada life goes on...."


Posts: 344 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Wisconsin
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