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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair - Part 27
worst-year-ever
♀ Member
Member # 33003
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes I think that we LTAers can't see the forest for the trees. Your FWH and his whore were close for how long?? They shared intimate details about their lives? They had this wonderful "LUUUUUUVE". Then tell me. Why aren't they together??? Honey it's because deep down he knows she is a POS.

I have to remember this. Thank you.


Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R

Posts: 1282 | Registered: Aug 2011
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Checking in as directed.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
let it be me
♀ Member
Member # 29103
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stopped by... been absent in mind, spirit and body lately.

So, checking in!

1year out from DD in July...

NC maintained. Woohoo....

Like the affair with OW was ever the "root" issue anyway...

Just trying to focus on me...
Who I want to be...
Making choices that get me to that place of being who I want to be...

Crying on the bathroom floor when it all catches up to me...

Knowing I should leave and knowing I am still too co-dependently f***ed up to do it...

So easy to get caught back up in the "it all feels good RIGHT NOW" mentality, isn't it?


Me/BS/40~Him/fWH/42 Both in IC
MC put 'on hold' till my IC agrees
DD~07/19/10 R on hold till my IC agrees
BP1 DX 10/2011&Complex PTSD 7/1998
"There are no mistakes in tomorrow"

Posts: 337 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Eastern NC
nofun
♀ Member
Member # 24546
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

let it be me - I so relate with your post!


BS (me) 56
WH 61
M 36 yrs
OW - 55 - Howdy Doody Look Alike
3 Awesome Adult C
DD 6/7/09
LTA 12 years.
Confused: D or R???

Posts: 987 | Registered: Jun 2009
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Checking in quickly. I’ve read the WYE fWH meltdown story. Stay on track girl. When is your IC appt? If Mr WYEnot has been in IC and on ADs since July, why has it taken til now for this to come out? Surely the one thing drummed into him MUST have been DO NOT LIE? So, why’d he lie? Doing all the pending DIY jobs does not equate to making up for all the lies. I wouldn’t say “smoke and mirrors” but I would want to know what he has been doing about himself (other than attending IC and taking a few tabs) since d-day. He must has worked out all case scenarios well beforehand. I just think he took several miles backwards and now he’s trying to put himself (and you) where you should be now but all in a rush. nuh, uh. Doesn’t work like that. Hugs honey. It is a long road we walk.

m33, read about the Pasha. Yep, had that myself. 4yr old and 3yr old went missing. Found them in the “boat” sheltering from the rain……. Sheesh. Running around calling and calling. “But we were in the ‘boat’ Mummy….” Didn’t get as far as calling the police tho. Still, its all ok, that’s all that matters.

Ellejay – Yeh, it’s called match-fixing. I was hoping you were going to say OW fell over collecting her award. You will rise above it hon. Truly, and you know this, they are just not worth the emotional expenditure. Or the prizes. She should have had the Scarlet A award. Treat yourself gently. Hoping you’re feeling less fragile today. (((((Ellejay))))) (cos I think you need them )

I quickly pointed out that the reason for going back to his apt would be because he lives there
Too bloody right!! I suppose he thinks you are now his “friend”? And wouldn’t mind if he “stopped over”? Wow.

Today I have an appointment for microdermabrasion and a chemical peel to see if I can't erase some of the damage from the last couple of years from my face.
You have had your skin taken off??? I had cosmetic surgery a couple of years ago, but I balked at chemical peel. I guess you are currently looking as if you have spend the whole day asleep on a sunswept beach. Hope you’re ok….. (nell) - gentle hug.

LIBM, there is nothing wrong with co-dependency, as long as you know you can stand by yourself if push came to shove. Co-dependent with independence. And remember, this is a long term affair and will take a long time to recover from. I used to joke at my (W)H’s impatience “right now, this minute, can’t wait” is what I used to say. Somehow it doesn’t seem quite so amusing now.

Laura – yeh. I know. But I still think fWH was just a coward and lacking courage to go. That and I was a bit like “The Bookkeeper” in The Untouchables. (That Kevin Costner/Sean Connery/Robert DeNiro film) I knew too much. I could have ruined him – but by doing so, I would have done the same to myself. I sometimes think he wasn’t prepared to take the risk of losing it all and then some. I’m not sure. And my spidey senses are trying to tell me something. And the dreams I’ve been having point to me having sensed something wrong. Nothing I can put my finger on. Trouble is, he’s a fucking good liar (oxymoron, I know). Difference is, this time I’m watching him. But if I get a VAR, there will be hours and hours to listen to. He is on the phone all the time when he’sin the car. And a tracker will just confirm the hotels. It was his habit to simply invite MOW to join him. So unless I actually went there….. I dunno. Sometimes divorce sounds easier.

Also, my friend today was horrified when I said I was going to tell DS1&2. She offered to have the info in a sealed envelope to give to them should anything happen to me. I trust her completely. It was her house I was outside at 7am on a Sunday morning the night after WH’s confession. She spoke a lot of sense. So I may back track. I’m sleeping on it.

Night all. And hugs (((((Tribe)))))

Hi nofun!


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
worst-year-ever
♀ Member
Member # 33003
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Triggering BAD tonight.

His brother's wife is pregnant, and it hurts. I am happy for them, really I am.

But I hate it.

They just got married, and a few weeks after Dday, I had to
1) go to Vegas, where WH took OW
2) pretend that everything was fine
3) attend a freaking wedding

Now she is pregnant.

I really am happy for them, but more than that, I am sad for me. His affair started when I was barely pregnant with our last baby, and he was cold and distant the entire time. I keep envisioning his quiet ass sitting in the corner ignoring me when I was in labor. He didn't help with the baby, didn't care that I was super high risk for PPD, didn't use protection and chanced exposing me and the baby to STDs.

You get the picture. Plus, for almost all of my son's life, he's been cheating.

Part of me, a big part of me, knows that no matter how much "good" he does now, he can never repair that damage. He can never give me back that pregnancy, infancy, etc.

I want another baby, have for a while, independent of this whole shitty situation. I know that it's a really terrible idea to even consider it now, since half the time I am not sure I am staying.

Sorry for the rambling....I am just hurting bad tonight. And I want nothing more in the world than to just be happy for them.

But I can't.


Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R

Posts: 1282 | Registered: Aug 2011
dadof4
♂ Member
Member # 25534
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes I think that we LTAers can't see the forest for the trees. Your FWH and his whore were close for how long?? They shared intimate details about their lives? They had this wonderful "LUUUUUUVE". Then tell me. Why aren't they together??? Honey it's because deep down he knows she is a POS.

I have to remember this too. Substitute she for he though.
Monday was the 2nd year anniversary of Dday. FWW didn't even bring it up. She doesn't bring much of anything up for that matter. So tonight I grabbed a bottle of Malbec and listend to Bob Marley. But wait, not the Bob Marley you are thinking of. You see Bob is from Maine. He is a comedian and when I am feeling down my sense of humor is twisted. So if you need a lift listen to Bob Marley.
This link is to the Upta Camp routine. Listen to all six. And yes we in NH and Maine really do talk like this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJNZdGF3Rys&feature=related

[This message edited by dadof4 at 9:24 PM, September 14th (Wednesday)]


Me 51(BH)
Her 46 (FWW)
Kids-23,21,16,14
Married 25 years.
D-Day Sept 12 2009
LTA=4 years

Reconciling.


Posts: 296 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: New Hampshire
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((wye))))

ok...take a deep deep breath....and another....in through your nose and out of your mouth....give off a little sigh.....

now....cut yourself some slack....of course you are triggering...know that its not only normal and expected but will become a part of who you are now....this is not permament though...although you hear from so many of us that we still trigger...its not the same...the rawness thank god dissipates....thats when the triggers are truly the worst...which is what you are experiencing now...the kind where you either want to crawl back into bed or where you never want to get out of bed....

as for having another baby...so not a good thing for you, the new possible baby or your existing child....and i can honestly say i understand that need to have babies...wait at least the 6 months and decide first whether or not you want to try to truly reconcile....then and only then will you possibly be able to make such a monumental decision....and you will also need to formulate a plan for all the what if's that could be....and then make your decision based off of all of those scenarios and choose your path of least regret...

thanks peeps, those of you who checked in...good to hear from you....


miracle -- maybe you need to make miracles in 40 days too

thanks m3...my username....says it all....


no miracles for me, at least not in the love dept....the kid dept..i gots me 3 of them...

i gots one in the parent dept....one out of two...and thankfully the one is still alive...

, she is well and she is an active part of my life as well as my kids lives...


libm:

Like the affair with OW was ever the "root" issue anyway...


wow, very perceptive....and so so right...its a good step

Just trying to focus on me...
Who I want to be...
Making choices that get me to that place of being who I want to be...


awesome...really really awesome...

another step..

Crying on the bathroom floor when it all catches up to me...


this believe it or not is also a good thing, purging is always good for us....as long as you dont let it get the best of you, or let it go on too long...this is actually a healthy thing to do...purging the toxic

Knowing I should leave and knowing I am still too co-dependently f***ed up to do it...

So easy to get caught back up in the "it all feels good RIGHT NOW" mentality, isn't it?

well if you really and truely know that you should leave...make a decision...either to make the best of sich becaue you are "choosing" to remain in it...or "line up" those ducks...not the fucking ones, the ones that help you live your life....

acceptance is always the first step for anything one wants to do, say, accomplish,..etc....

so accepting your sich for what it is, not what if could be, not what it should be, not what it will be...but what it is....

this will give you the most pease...
will you still have moments,...hell yeah...but the moments will "feel"...different, better give you that i can take a step away from it all perspective...

...please continue with the roll call peeps..

(((tribe)))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
Ellejay
♀ Member
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 11:18 PM, September 14th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I am on the way to getting over the ridiculous fact that OW2 just won $3,000 and a trophy because my idiot STBXH nominated her for an award stating that she has so much respect from the injured workers in her care, yet she was servicing my H in the office in between counselling them (if his emails are to be believed). Real class both of them. I hope he feels proud of himself today.

Done some positive things though over the past couple of days, enrolled in a cooking course for next month learning to prepare Tapas - should be fun. Arranged to go to a Latino night soon, I can just imagine the desperates that will be there but nevermind I'm one of them. Starting to put into practice "The Artist's Way - Julia Cameron" in order to rediscover my creativity.
Still can't help obsessing over the shit that has gone down. There is so much more that I can't discuss here for legal reasons which is doing my head in. I feel like I have been in a really bad accident, I'm sure everyone here can relate. I need to remove myself from our business which I still work in as my mental health is going downhill having to still deal with my ex. Need to find another job very soon but my confidence is at an all time low, I don't even know where to start.

Bought a beautiful mirror for my townhouse yesterday, had my eye on it for months then saw it had been reduced $200 so simply HAD to buy it. I'll post of picture of it next time.

I'm not being much support to any one at the moment as I'm just so exhausted but I am reading all your stories as I go and wishing everyone peace. I will post later when I feel I can be of help.

Hugs to everyone.

Ellejay xxxx


Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1073 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Part of me, a big part of me, knows that no matter how much "good" he does now, he can never repair that damage. He can never give me back that pregnancy, infancy, etc.
This is the part where you reverse this. He is the one who can never get those years back. You were there, you were involved with your baby before, during and after birth. He was the one who distanced and removed himself. HE is the one who can never get those years back and HE is the one who has lost, not you. And that’s true. As for wanting another baby, that’s natural, but probably not a good idea while you are struggling. You have enough on your plate. Btw, my WH lost out. While I felt I had little or no support for many years, I know that those boys are who they are today – lovely, loving, confident young men – because of ME. I look at them and think “I did that”. WH lost out, not me. Pat on the back, WYE. Slap upside of the head Mr WYEnot.

Dadof4, the WS tends to just avoid bringing up anything to do with the affair. I suspect she did realise it was around d-day time but, as would be natural, decided to lay low and wait for it to pass. It would be nice if she recognised beforehand that it might be a rough day/time and asked if there was anything she could do……….. But, nah. Pretty much what the fWS does.

Ellejay,

Well I am on the way to getting over the ridiculous fact that OW2 just won $3,000 and a trophy because my idiot STBXH nominated her for an award stating that she has so much respect from the injured workers in her care, yet she was servicing my H in the office in between counselling them (if his emails are to be believed). Real class both of them. I hope he feels proud of himself today.
I think you put this very eloquently! She got paid and a “trophy” for being a slut.

Need to find another job very soon but my confidence is at an all time low, I don't even know where to start.
Well, I am no expert in this field, but what about contacts you already have? Or linkedin? Or websites and agencies and headhunters in your field? It’s a new start and might be easier than you think. (((((Ellejay)))))


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Ellejay
♀ Member
Member # 30498
Default  Posted: 2:21 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She got paid and a “trophy” for being a slut.

Well put UKGirl your description of the situation sums it up. Now I just have to learn to laugh about it because it is pathetic really.

Ellejay xxxx


Married 25 years now divorced.
D-Day: 20/11/10
Me: 48.5 plus 10% GST
Him: mental age 6 (apologies to all 6 year olds)
Betrayal: Who cares anymore?

Posts: 1073 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Adelaide, South Australia
nofun
♀ Member
Member # 24546
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all: Have been lurking quite a bit. I see there is so many more of us here. Wow! Sad!

I happened to stumble upon a letter my H wrote to my older daughter but never mailed. He has spoken to my other two: DD28 and DS 26 but not DD32. She is having hard time with all of this. If I have a chance I'll try to post the letter. I still have to go back and read it again because, maybe it's me, but the letter is all about what has happened to "HIM". At least that is what popped out at me.

So, the snooping continues, when will it end? I don't check his cell anymore and haven't in awhile but I'm not sure I can ever feel safe again.

Hugs to the tribe


BS (me) 56
WH 61
M 36 yrs
OW - 55 - Howdy Doody Look Alike
3 Awesome Adult C
DD 6/7/09
LTA 12 years.
Confused: D or R???

Posts: 987 | Registered: Jun 2009
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good Morning Tribe,

It appears that we are all mostly muddling through, and this is the case for me too.

I am not currently pushing towards any goal, but have released myself for the time being to simply flow with the current of my life. I am part way through the hiring process for a new job; I am waiting to see how this works out. My boat is listed for sale, but no serious inquiries yet. We received paperwork from the bank amounting to a 25% reduction in the monthly payment; this takes some of the financial pressure off. FWW is recovering from her surgery and is as pleasant as anyone could want. She has had a couple of interviews and is probably 2-3 weeks away from being employed again; less money and no benefits, but a job. I turn 51 this week, and becoming very aware that my decisions over the next couple of years set the stage for the third act of my life.

By the end of the year some of the issues out of my control will be clearer (job change, FWW's employment) and the excuses for no movement on relationship issues (DD's wedding and surgery) will have been removed so that I will be in a better place to make active decisions about the direction I want to go.

--Ats


LTA BS 53
FWW 60
M 1990, dday 10-5-09
Reconciled

Posts: 3967 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ATS, you completely rock!

WYE: 18 months. I read that when in a crisis you should go 18 months without any major problems before making a decision. (Of course, I'm going to exclude the situation where one specific person is always making the major problems, then they ARE the problem)

So, point is: wait 18 months from Dday before you decide to have another baby or not. It can feel like forever when you want a baby, but it will fly by. Baby Paddy will be 18 months old on Saturday (yea!). It feels like the blink of an eye.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKgirl,
hee hee... my face feels and looks really tight and is beginning to peel a bit, but no bright red horrible sunburn-victim look to it. I can wear make-up so I just look a bit odd, not jaw-dropping WTF-is-wrong-with-her, though. All good.

I had to cancel today's MC (again, my bad this time... I had a meeting scheduled right before the appointment across town and would not have been able to get there in time). I asked WH if he would like to use it as IC. "No."

There's no place left on the coffin to put that nail. Feels like that was the final whimper. I'm calling my lawyer today to get a list of everything I will need to file.

Feeling okay. Actually, not feelng much of anything. Just another day in paradise.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
2yrs+recovering
♀ Member
Member # 31582
Angry  Posted: 9:36 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, I am going to try and just read and post on this forum for a while.

I need some safety and I am hoping for a safe haven.

2 and 1/2 yrs post Dday. WH being a model NC citizen. Respecting boundaries and has changed into the H we all would want and should have.

In IC he has been working on his timelime. Something I have been asking for for over 2 yrs. I snooped and it loooks like LTA was even longer than first admitted.

I don't know what I will do with this info once he gives me this timeline. I feel I should be past this, and then I should be glad he is forthcoming with the "real" dates. I am still really sad and disappointed.

Has anyone experienced this after R. More info that is not what I was hoping for?


BS (me)59 FWH 71
Married 35 years
4 children and 3 grandchildren
5 yrs into R.
Now that he has changed and become the man he should have been all along, why should I start over?

Posts: 560 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: New Jersey
worst-year-ever
♀ Member
Member # 33003
Default  Posted: 9:38 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously LOL at the slut trophy....I needed to laugh this morning. :)

I look like hell this morning...completely lost it last night when he asked me what was wrong. The hours long hysterical crying does wonders let me tell you....my face is swollen, I didn't sleep hardly at all, my head feels like it's going to explode and there isn't enough coffee in the world to get me through today. Dammit.

On top of everything else, I feel like a really terrible person because I am now incapable of just being happy for someone else. I know I have to take it easy on "me" right now, but that's easier said than done.

I give great advice, rarely heed it myself. Ugh.

He says he wants to know how I feel, but the obvious truth is that he doesn't. He shuts down, walks away, can't handle it. He wants to know what I'm feeling only if those feelings are good or neutral. He doesn't really want to know how much he has hurt me, how much he has messed up.

He can't face what he's done to me when it's ugly and it hurts.

I actually got the "when are you going to stop bringing up the past" question mid-hysterics last night. WTF!?!?!?!

He JUST told me the whole truth 6 days ago (assuming that's it now)...and he only told me then because I was spying on him.

I'm not bringing up the past. He was JUST doing it.

Sure, for him, a lot of this is 3 years ago now....but for me, it isn't. It's like it just happened yesterday. I've only known for such a short period of time.

How dare he?

Sigh....gonna be another rough day. I freaking HATE Thursdays anyway. He goes to IC today. I am not loving his therapist at all. Therapist knew he was still lying to me.

Sorry.....I forgot to invite y'all to my pity party. Apparently, it's a 2 day event.


Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R

Posts: 1282 | Registered: Aug 2011
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know what I will do with this info once he gives me this timeline. I feel I should be past this, and then I should be glad he is forthcoming with the "real" dates. I am still really sad and disappointed.

Has anyone experienced this after R. More info that is not what I was hoping for?


2yrs - I think many of us have experienced the TT (trickle truth) and it is so painful and hurts us and the entire R process. One word of caution from my own experience - try to stay as calm and unemotional as possible. I say this because when my H admitted to the A first he told me it had been only 8 months, then 3 years then, 8 years. At this I went ballistic and he has never admitted to anything more. So, to this day, I feel that there is more and I will never know the entire truth because of my extreme reaction to his 8 year LTA. I still wonder how many years his A actually went on. For all I know he may never have been faithful or maybe that's all there is to know. I always wonder if I had only been able to remain calm and unemotional if eventually he would have admitted to more.
It's not easy to keep our emotions in check but try to keep in mind that this will benefit you in the long run.
(((2yrs)))

ATS - I posted a song for you a few pages back - did you see it?

Allgood - can't believe your H is still being an a jerk.
What did he think you would say - "come on in and how about sharing my bed too?" He really can't accept that you have kicked him out, can he??
How has he been since that night?
Miracle - checking in as requested.
And a big congrats on your test results. No surprise there. You go girl!!

And my spidey senses are trying to tell me something. And the dreams I’ve been having point to me having sensed something wrong. Nothing I can put my finger on.

UKG - do you generally have these feelings when he's away? How about when he's home for a long span? Perhaps his being away continues to be a major trigger and it is those fears which continue to haunt and nothing more. I certainly hope so although I wish there was a way for you to reduce those triggers.
Also, this is a personal bias but I do think talking with your sons is a very good idea. I know your friend has your best interest at heart and also knows you and the situation more intimately, but I still think they might feel a sense of relief to finally have this out in the open. Our children, especially our adult children, are much more in tune with us than we ever imagine and I find it hard to believe that they do not know or at least suspect what has been going on these past few years.
Having said that, the decision has to be right for you too. Maybe this is the hurdle your friend is sensing from you.
((((UKG)))


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry.....I forgot to invite y'all to my pity party. Apparently, it's a 2 day event.

Amateur. I cried 6 to 8 hours a day, EVERY day, for, oh, about 4 or 5 months.

Anyway, I'm THERE. I'll bring the really good lotion-y Kleenex that don't leave you all chapped. Sounds like Nell needs that kind now that she's only got a single layer of skin left on her face .

WYE, he's an idiot jackass. Actually, he and Mr. M3 and Mr. Nell and pfm are all secret fraternity brothers. I just KNOW it.

Ok -- has to be said -- DIP WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU?


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, September 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not being much support to any one at the moment as I'm just so exhausted but I am reading all your stories as I go and wishing everyone peace. I will post later when I feel I can be of help.

Elle - please don't worry about not being able to support others right now. Every one of us has been where you are and this is the best place to come to for support for YOU!! When you feel better and are ready to help others, you will. For now, come here to vent, to get support, advice and hugs or whatever we can offer but don't, please don't worry about not helping others at this time.
A LTA is as devastating as it can get. Recovery from this takes years, believe me.
Many of us "old timers" still come here not just to help others but to return to a place where others understand, care and give the kind of support no one IRL can give who hasn't been where we are.
I know Miracle will be stopping by too with a similar message.
(((Elle)))
M3 - also wanted to add, where the heck is Tryn???

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 10:53 AM, September 15th (Thursday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
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