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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair - Part 27
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Frustrated  Posted: 12:17 AM, November 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thinking 'bout you {{{Nell}}}

lostsoul, I presume your H will be attending this party is planning, will you be invited too? If not, his not attending if OW does would be a hard boundary for me.

Yes, I will attend the retirement party... the guest of honour & his wife are longtime friends. My H is hosting the event - he is mgr of the local operation. The guest list includes staff, former staff & business/gov't associates. I have been at the yearly Dec. 'open house' but OW has never been there. Guess time will tell...


m334455, I am sorry to hear about your uncle. Good to read that your meds are back in sync and you are doing better.

Need to get to sleep... tomorrow is my fav day of the week!


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, November 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the shout-outs, tribe. Long night. But so far we're friendly. I know this could change at any moment. WH apologised for putting us in this situation, tried to take all the blame but I took some back. He did a lot of crying... I did when I was telling my IRL peeps beforehand, but oddly no urge to cry when we were talking and talking and talking last night. Tears may come later? Or maybe I'm done grieving. Now it's time to focus on the Boyos. Who don't know that anything is up. Yuck. This sucks. Going to post in D/S now.

BBL. Hugs, Nell


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
jollum
♂ Member
Member # 25152
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, November 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nell,

Just letting you know that I'm thinking about you and wishing you all the strength you need for you and your boyos.

jollum


Posts: 269 | Registered: Aug 2009
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, November 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

stopping in while grandson is napping...

Nell:
I am sure that Jollum said it for all of us: Just letting you know that I'm thinking about you and wishing you all the strength you need for you and your boyos.

This prayer seems fitting today:

Take care all. {{{LTA}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, November 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey - just checkin in to say I'm doing well.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, November 4th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nell: Keep posting here too, we love you.

Allgood: I'm glad that you are doing well. We miss you.

lost: That is a beautiful prayer. Thank you for sharing.

Good to see you Jollum.

Miracle: Let us know how you are doing. I hope you're not posting because you are busy with school.

It's been awful quiet this week. I hope that is a good sign

NPD gave me the password to his email account when I was writing something for the business. I don't understand why. It seems so odd, and I keep waiting for something to happen.


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 2:12 AM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jeesh ats, I have no idea what I meant. I felt like going to see him, but I didn't. That's about it. Maybe I wanted to be rescued?

hang in there nell.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 2:47 AM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi M33

What are you doing up? It's 6.30pm here in OZ so must be around 2 am at your place. Hope you are OK.

(((Nell)))

((((WYE))))

LOst, LOstH2, GG, SisterM & Jollum - nice to hear from you all.

Allgood - glad to hear you are OK.

Honest

NPD gave me the password to his email account when I was writing something for the business. I don't understand why. It seems so odd, and I keep waiting for something to happen.

Would be great if you could use it to help with your exit plan!!!!

ats

No eye contact tonight, little conversation

You don't need this shit honey. Try to find your "don't give a shit"!

Deep - any news???

Miracle - where are you?

Where is everybody else??

At Laura's

Well FWH and I went to local markets and guess who was there? Bitchface, Ditchpig, CD, the W from up the hill, Easy meat..... otherwise known as OW3. We were at a stall and suddenly she was there about 10 feet away. I spotted her first, looked at FWH and although I tried to keep my expression neutral he KNEW straight away, followed my eyes and then took my hand and we walked off.

15 minutes later we went and sat on a seat to eat and I looked across and there she was about 20feet away also sitting down. I was in the ideal position to the right and a little behind so I stayed. I hope she could feel my eyes burning into her back.

Anyway I felt good. I looked good and she looked old, flabby and daggy (oz slang for...... sheesh what do you yanks say - unfashionable, sloppily dressed, not sexy, not elegant, frumpy - get the picture?????)

Anyway was OK. I actually quite like seeing her now. Every time I look at her I am reassured she was just a hole. She's certainly no supermodel

So that's my day. When I asked FWH "didn't want to talk about seeing her, didn't care, didn't want to spoil our day" so we have just gone on as though we didn't see her. I guess that's best.

HUGS to all

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 6:37 AM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura28... Really, you are the winner. Your H picked you first, and last. You were the one that means the most to him. Unless OW3 is a sociopath, I have no doubt she felt like crap just being in the same room. I have only seen my W's OM once and I walked away. But I cannot lie, I sometimes think about revenge on him. Thinking and acting so far is working better for me than acting without thinking. Laura, yes you are pulchritudinous! PS.. whatever you do, let's not get in that picture mode again! LOL.. but it sure was fun.

Nell... You'r in my prayers.

Allgood... I think of you as a very healthy woman in about every way.

Peace to all! Geaux Tigers

[This message edited by trynhard at 7:06 AM, November 5th (Saturday)]


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey Tryn

pulchritudinous

Such a cool word.

I had to look it up.

Wow. A gentleman AND educated.

I sometimes think about revenge

Me too. Far too often.

The nice thing about today is that she was ALONE.

OW3 left her BH of 35 years when she was screwing FWH. FWH says OW3 left her BH because he was Bi-Polar. After 35 yrs???? PLEEEEEEase!!! FWH says he repeatedly told her he would never leave me. OW2 (8yrs) told me the same so I think I believe him.

Me - I think she thought she'd have a better chance of hooking FWH if she was D.

Dumb bitch!!!

I like to imagine her at home ALONE, cooking ALONE, eating ALONE, watching TV ALONE, sleeping ALONE.

Today was a nice little taste of revenge and the best part is I didn't even have to try - I didn't have to do or say a thing.

I still have a warm glow thinking about how she must have felt today.

When I really get going on my revenge fantasies I imagine her meeting and starting up with someone else and then him cheating on her.

I am SUCH a vindictive bitch!

Almost midnight in OZ so guess I better hit the sack.

Love to all

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
nofun
♀ Member
Member # 24546
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Tribe:

Checking in to tell you all I'm thinking of you.

I'm doing ok, just ok. Somehow reading everyones struggles helps me feel not so alone. I'm having a hard time with obsessing thoughts. Oh the joys of infidelity.

Hugs to all


BS (me) 56
WH 61
M 36 yrs
OW - 55 - Howdy Doody Look Alike
3 Awesome Adult C
DD 6/7/09
LTA 12 years.
Confused: D or R???

Posts: 987 | Registered: Jun 2009
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura28 ~ what I think would be a perfect end to your day at the market was for you to go home and make "mind movies" with FWH for OW3 to think about while she is all alone cooking, eating, watching TV, sleeping alone with the mind movie of Laura and FWH making love.
When OW attempted contact last Friday and Saturday, FWH and I had a mini HB weekend. It was fantastic, I made some great mind movies for OW.

nofun ~ I am sorry for the obsessing thoughts you are having, they are a bitch. (((nofun)))

m334455~ so very sorry for the loss of your uncle (((m334455)))

trynhard ~ Geaux Tigers? 'splain please?

Hugs to lostsuol, Nell, jollum, Allgood, honest, ats and all the tribe.

ETA: Oh, I think I figured out the Geaux Tigers. Is it a college football reference?

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 11:37 AM, November 5th (Saturday)]


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 8984 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
worst-year-ever
♀ Member
Member # 33003
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you Laura!

Hugs to everyone this weekend.

Here, things with fWH are mostly good, I think.

In other news, my mom is in the hospital, and it looks like she may be losing at least some of her toes (smoker, diabetic, etc.) Ugh. Of course it's the weekend, so the doctors won't be around...the waiting sucks.

Life's about to get more complicated....but that seems to happen a lot around here.


Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R

Posts: 1282 | Registered: Aug 2011
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 4:47 PM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all

SisterM

Laura28 ~ what I think would be a perfect end to your day at the market was for you to go home and make "mind movies" with FWH for OW3 to think about while she is all alone cooking, eating, watching TV, sleeping alone with the mind movie of Laura and FWH making love.

I did just that!!!! Some really good ones too

This infidelity shit is really weird. Really weird!!!!

So many times over the last year or so I've been haunted by MM of him with her but it NEVER occurred to me that she might have MM of me with him. This also would have happened while they were together!!!!

Having another nice warm glow thinking of her and what her imagination conjured up then - and now!!!

The best part is that although I still have the MM at least they are fictitious now and in the past. For her they are REALITY - every day (and night) she knows we are together. And she never knows WHEN they are being made!

Thank you so much for that thought. It's amazing how often a simple statement by an SI friend can help so much. Can't believe I didn't think of this before.

HUGS

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 5:42 PM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi WYE

BIG HUGS

This infidelity stuff is so hard. I don't know why it is that we have to deal with this on top of so many other problems in life.

22 yrs ago My father was diagnosed with cancer and died a few months after I found FWH with OWzero (he says "Just Friends" but I'll never know).

My big dday was 2 days after my mother's funeral.Life is very unfair at times.

Take care

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 6:15 PM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nell-
Glad to hear that you got through the 'talk'.
Hopefully, the rest of the journey will go as smoothly.

Honest-
Mr. Dishonest is truly a piece of work!
Your patience with him is amazing....
I would have klonked him over the head with a frying pan or something else that was handy for making those kind of comments about the OW and OC......amazing.....
But, you do sound strong.
Hopefully he will be gone soon?

Miracle- How are you? Did something happen with WH? or the kids?

Ats-
Sorry that your WW continues to be less than enthusiastic about things.
That was really important to my healing and ability to R.
My husband was so...remorseful and so...comitted to working on saving the marriage....he had to be to win me over.
A so-so response from him would not have worked.
I hope your WW begins to understand that before its too late.....
I will keep my fingers crossed for your new job. Hope it works out for you.

Lostsoul-
I think that attending the retirement party is a good idea.
I'm sure you'll look fabulous and...like Laura you will stare down the OW and have a great time in spite of the fact that she is there...
The OW will most likely be very uncomfortable and feel like crap.

M33- Sorry about your uncle.
Glad to hear that you had a chance to pamper yourself.
I do that all the time now.
I used to be a very low maintenance gal. Not anymore...post d-day I have learned that I need to be kind to myself and stop putting everyone's needs ahead of my own.

WYE-Hugs....hope things go OK with your mom.

Laura- Congrats on your positive attitude about seeing the OW.
You are the winner.
They are definitely losers in this whole thing.
In my case the MOW appeared to not have any remorse about the LTA...but, give me a break...she had to feel like crap.
This was not her first LTA.
The one that happened in the 1980's...that lasted over 6 yrs...that her BH found out about years afterward? well..in that case the MOM...finally did leave his wife but not for MOW!!! He left his wife for another woman! And proceeded to get engaged to her!
He continued working with MOW and had a very low opinion of her.
Then there's my husband..who has been 100% NC with the MOW since d-day.
He never contacted her..not once..not even during our 6 month separation. And she knew we were separated...so was she...her husband of over 35 yrs finally left her......
so here she has her first LTA leaving her and running away from her, avoiding her..same with my FWH....
and her husband divorces her...
I know there were other married men in between these two LTAs and they obviously didn't amount to much...

So...eventhough these OW can very aggresive and predatory they can't seem to reel anyone in....
Must suck to be them...huh?
The problem is that they do not seem to learn from their mistakes and continue in the same pattern.....

That's what gets to me about the serial cheaters...

Nofun- Hope you're feeling better. remember..its that emotional roller coaster ride...

Sistermilkshake- amazing that the OW continues to fish so many years later...
but, I love your attitude.
Stay positive!

Allgood,Tryin, DP, Dip, FNF...Hope all is well.


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
strongish
♀ Member
Member # 29259
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hallooo! It's been a long time since I felt comfortable posting again. Hopefully STBXH has stopped coming here to read what I post. Although at this point, there's very little left to hide.

There is no way I can "catch up" by reading through weeks of posts so instead of giving advice I'll give you an update of where I am....

The big news is that I filed for D about a month ago. I found an atty. that I am happy with after interviewing two others. STBXH and I are cooperating and has been no argueing about assets, etc. Honestly, he is giving me more $$ than he is "required" to by the state so I'm grateful for that. I'm back to working 30-35 hours/week and will consider going full-time, if they'll have me. If not, then I'll continue working as a contract employee and pay for my own health insurance. I consulted a financial planner and will have my second appt. this week to make a plan for how to manage my funds. I also contacted a realtor to get some feedback on what he things need to be done in order to put the house on the market in the spring. STBXH was not happy about spending the money to "update" things but the realtor and I discussed what we'll get a return on and what we won't. In the end, neither of us wants the house so we both want it to sell quickly. If that's going to happen then we need to put some money into updating the things that we haven't touched in 15 years.

Phew...just typing all that makes me tired! But I feel more at peace every day. The plan is for the D to become final before the end of the year. It just works out better for us tax-wise but I'm grateful to have an excuse to just get this done.

My IC has told me that I can come back when I feel like I need to, but that she thinks I'm in a good place. Goodness knows I'm in a much better place than I was one year ago, or even just a few months ago. My kids are doing great. The oldest will deploy with the Navy after Thanksgiving. He is a remarkable young man who has always been an old-soul. He lives in CA but was just home for 10 days for pre-deployment leave and it felt so good to have him home when he/we weren't rushed to get everything in. I was working during the day but at night we would watch TV, movies, eat out and or sit around and talk. It was tense at first as the first couple of night he stayed at STBXH's place and the youngest, now 18, was getting upset. On day 3 I left the three kids at home alone so that they could work it out and they did. DD24 is still at home, she doesn't have a date to start in the AF until May 2012, so she's interviewing for a part-time job for spending money. The "little" guy will start a part-time job this week. All three have told me that they support my filing for D and we even spent one afternoon looking at new cars for me. (My car is getting older and I'm thinking of getting something new and under warranty if the price is right. I'll have to see what my new financial guru thinks of that!)

So, the ball is rolling for me. In time, I hope to meet someone I can spend time with but for now, I'm enjoying being at peace with my decision. I've missed all of you and hope that you're not too upset with me for being MIA. Not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of the tribe. I hope you are all doing okay.

So, what's up??


Posts: 490 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NJ

Must suck to be them...huh?

Sounds like you get the "warm glow"too. Nice isn't it

I think we are BOTH winners!!!

In fact there are lots of winners on here. Could count on one hand LTA APs who "won"!!!?????

Speaking of which. What did they win??? As the stats show the success of relationships which start as As is miniscule. The success of BSs who R with remorseful WSs is very high!!!!

So anyone here who has lost their WS to AP partner - remember one day you will experience the "warm glow" too.

Strong

You sound just that. So STRONG. I know this is still such a shitty time for you but it's great to hear how positive you sound. You really sound like you have your exit strategy well organised.

I'm looking at buying a new car too!!! Spoil yourself. Get all those nice little extras we can do without but, hey it's only money and some of them are so much fun!!!!!

Great so many have checked in but still a few very quiet at present. Hope you are all OK!!!

HUGS to all

Laura

[This message edited by Laura28 at 8:01 PM, November 5th (Saturday)]


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
strongish
♀ Member
Member # 29259
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laua,

I'd love to say that I was going to splurge....but I'm so nervous about being on my own that I want to stay pretty conservative. Plus....I'll only buy a car that my dog (golden retriever) will fit in! That leaves out the Mini Cooper that I liked. I just need to remember that I don't have to solve every problem at this minute. That has been very difficult for me, but since STBXH moved out, I have had more peace of mind and less anxiety.

I have learned so much about myself this past year and I have to say that for the most part I am pleased with what I've found. I'm far from perfect, but I am okay just the way I am. I have some dear, dear friends that have had my back and some people that I thought were my friends who have simply decided that I shouldn't think of D my STBXH. Some of them are older and some are my age but I think are afraid. Heck, I'm afraid, but I refuse to stay in a M because I'm afraid of trying to be on my own. I hope to meet someone, but if I don't I hope at least I have some fun trying!! The most important thing I've learned is that I am so much stronger than I even want to be. And I'm grateful that I learned that from facing my own pain, and not a hurting child.

Laura, it sounds like things with you and your FWH are going pretty well. I'm so happy for you! I've missed you and those ducks.


Posts: 490 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
iwantamiracle
♀ Member
Member # 22812
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wow....its both good and bad to see so many "old faces"...you were all very much missed...i may not post as much but i try to keep up with the reading...although lately i have only been able to skim hastily...

thanks all for the hugs...as usual they mean so much more then i can ever express in words....damn starting to tear up just thinking bout all the love here.....you are such an awesome bunch of peeps....

as for me: that damned rollercoaster seems to be taking many trips lately, ever since manchild's accident.....my anger is renewed to a highly volatile state and my sadness over all the loss i feel, and all the loss i still have yet to face and do is seemingly overwhelming to me these days...

i am envious of a few of you, all of you who are actually moving forward with divorce.....living together these days seems to sap all my energy and most assuredly all of my joy....

i am plannin on goin out in a couple of weeks with some awesome friends, i need it....

as for school...i just finished another 2 courses....in one i got an "a"...have not a clue what i got in the other, since the final test in that class was killer....and i dont have those results yet...it is what it is...i know i passed the course no matter what i got on the test...but i am hopin to get the "a"....


strong, lh2, nell and lostsuol it is so so good to hear from you guys....i have missed you all....

strong...i am so proud of you....

lh2: you were here, now where did you go?

nell: hows is goin?...is there a plan in place to move forward...

lostsuol: i am glad you are going to the party, you belong there, so go with your head held high and the middle finger in your minds eye clearly pointed at her if she is inconsiderate enough to go....empathy is not a virtue that too many fow's possess.....most people i think who cheat lack appropriate empathy

m3: i am so sorry to hear your news about your uncle...sadly i know the feeling, i hope all in your family are seeking help in dealing with this....when my uncle killed himself 2 of his sisters and one brother lost a piece of themselves, one in particular lost such a huge piece...til this day she is not quite right in the head and its so so sad considering how young he was and how young my aunts were when they lost so much....and this is over 30 years later.....

(((m3)))


sister its good to hear from you too....and you too sound so so strong..so bravo

tryn: i too had to look up that word.... ...and i certainly cannot pronounce it either..


wye: prayin for your mom to have a quick recovery

laura: i love you, you are such a breath of air...you remind me of lovin in that you are so postive, making the most of your life, and enjoying your life...not an easy thing to do....yet i think once you begin to let go, really let go i believe it becomes "easy" to live you life, really live it, not just go through the motions of it...but that letting go part....so so not easy so bravo...

honest: good to see you posting again...


many many (((((hugs))))) to all the (((((tribe)))))


i am taking my life back, one step at a time!!!!!

Posts: 5994 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: looking for my rainbow
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