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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: BS Questions for WS's - Part 6
GroundZero
♀ Member
Member # 27853
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, October 25th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EveryTwo - my BH and I divorced, there was never any R, so every step I took was about healing me and not about preserving R in some way.

I saw an IC weekly. At a critical time, when I was really struggling, I actually got a second IC so I was seeing two IC, each weekly (two very different approaches to therapy, but complementary to each).

I have an extensive library on infidelity from all sides of the issue (stay together/divorce, BS/WS).

I read here. A LOT. I posted sometimes.

I took long walks and really processed what I had read and learned from IC and here in my head.

There are smaller things, but that's the gist. What is your (f)WS doing? What would you like him to do? Does he seem committed to doing the work on himself?


Out of clutter, find simplicity; out of discord, find harmony; in the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. Einstein

Posts: 1777 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Land of the Sweet Lovely Kiddos
helpemegetoverit
♀ Member
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 8:34 PM, October 25th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What steps toward healing do WS do? Besides trying to "support the BS"?
I feel like my WS is not doing enough (mainly to prevent this from happening again). I'm not sure if I just have too high of expectations.

Lots and lots and LOTS of introspection. TONS of therapy (there was a month or two when I was going three times a week...I JUST, after 5 months, have 'graduated' to every other week. And it is an adjustment to not go. We are still in weekly marriage counseling, but I am used to at least three a week :-). I give my husband updates almost daily on how I am doing that day or week. What I had learned. How I was applying it to my daily life. Some of it is rehashed in marriage therapy if it is relevent.

I changed almost everything about my life, the way I thought, the way I 'remembered' past events (Way past) in my life. I took a look at everything differently because I never understood how that past could lead to an affair until now.

I journaled. I read EVERY book I can get my hands on regarding affairs, marriage, etc. I take notes, I talk to BH about it, etc.

I read and post here a ton. I PM MANY other members in reconciliation for their thoughts because a lot I can't post about on here publicly.

This is all in addition to supporting my husband in every way. He doesn't show his pain like so many on here, but my vigilence means that he can't bury it. I will NOT just let it go and try to put it behind us...I have seen where that leads.

[This message edited by helpemegetoverit at 8:52 PM, October 25th (Tuesday)]


Me: WW
Him: BH
Intuition is not a gift, but a skill based in self esteem.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Nov 2010
helpemegetoverit
♀ Member
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, October 25th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

helpmegetoverit --

It looks like you're saying that you're saying you reevaluated your thoughts after the A and came up with different conclusions than those you had while in the A.

1. If possible, can you provide us a little detail on how your thinking changed in this situation?

Phew, this may be hard because I am not 100 percent sure of the answer/question. Also, there is a lot I won't share on here ... but here goes:

To be honest, I really don't think I thought too deeply about the affair during the affair. It's like I did, but I didn't. And maybe what I thought was not the truth. I was a MASTER at compartmentalizing. Master. I looked at my AP and saw who he was. I knew he was broken,but I still didn't want to see him for the type of broken he was. I knew he had cheated before, even before marriage. I saw him being inappropriate with other women. I knew he had only been married a month when I met him and 3 months when we started the affair. We talked about his 'whys'during the affair (which make me laugh now). I just didn't understand it and did know it was not the truth, but didn't want to know the truth. I remembered being newly married, dating, and engaged. It was like a honeymoon. No kids, no big mortgage, being able to do what we wanted, when we wanted. Working, going to grad school, all of it was similar. I didn't understand HOW this 'good' person could already be a cheater. I sort of felt me having the affair was more justified I guess? I'm not even sure that is it exactly....but it's hard to know. I didn't want to know that someone I could be so attracted to was someone who just took me because I was available...and did the same with others. A friend calls him a 'taker' and I had to chuckle to myself because he is JUST that. It was the most fitting word for someone I have ever heard.

Anyway, once I wrote it all of paper... Forced myself to think of everything I had said/wrote to him and vice versa. Even the small mundane conversations.... Seeing the things he said to me, the way he acted, the way he gaslighted his wife when she pressed him, what he told her to hide the affair, what he told me to not do, what he told me to tell her...it was like 'wow, this was NOT a person I want to sleep with.' Yet I did, in my brokenness, he was exactly what I 'wanted' at the time I guess. I cared for him and felt that many of the things I was doing was to 'protect' him. Not letting him get caught, even helping him gaslight his wife a few times....I felt that he was a good person and I was making the best of the bad situation for doing that.


2. I bu y into the concept of "revising marital history". Is it possible that this is an example of "revising A history"? And how do you know that the new version of A history is the accurate one?

In short, because I wrote it down. I could see how I kept pursuing this person, kept playing the sick game. Fed into it. Thrived on it. Did't want it to end. Believed what he said even when I SAW differently with my own eyes, heard differently with my own ears. I was a master compartmentalizer...he was a master actor.

[This message edited by helpemegetoverit at 7:26 AM, October 26th (Wednesday)]


Me: WW
Him: BH
Intuition is not a gift, but a skill based in self esteem.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Nov 2010
wantmyfamilyback
♀ Member
Member # 33676
Default  Posted: 10:57 PM, October 25th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did you ever tell your AP that you no longer loved your spouse?

Did you tell them that you planned on getting divorced?

If so, how did that affect your feelings towards and reconciliation with your BS?


Me= BS 28
WH= 30
2 OWs
D-Day 1= 7/?/10
D-Day 2= 9/23/11
D-Day 3= 10/16/11
M= almost 9 years
K= DD 2 & DS 6 months
Status= changes almost daily.

Posts: 256 | Registered: Oct 2011
UndecidedinMA
♀ Member
Member # 33732
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This may a bit specific to my situation but anyone who can give me insight.

If you were ever in the BS position in a prvious relationship - how could you inflict that pain on someone else?

How could you talk about your BS to the OP?

How do I forgive this - I thinkit is almost worse then PA?


ME - BSO
Him - FWSO
OW - DBC Xwife
DDAY 09/14/11 ONS w/DBCxWOW with 4 mos EA
Solidly in R

Posts: 926 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: MA
helpemegetoverit
♀ Member
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did you ever tell your AP that you no longer loved your spouse?

No, just the opposite.

Did you tell them that you planned on getting divorced?

Again, no, just the opposite.

If so, how did that affect your feelings towards and reconciliation with your BS?

Even though I answered no, I want to answer this. For me, it could actually be WORSE that I threw my marriage away for someone I never saw a future with. If that makes any sense. For some reason, I think it's worse that AP was able to look at me and say 'listen, I'm not leaving my wife' and I could look back and say 'yep, me either. Let's do this.'

Not sure if that makes sense....

[This message edited by helpemegetoverit at 7:30 AM, October 26th (Wednesday)]


Me: WW
Him: BH
Intuition is not a gift, but a skill based in self esteem.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Nov 2010
Sara8
♀ Member
Member # 33644
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

helpemegetoverit

Reading your posts has been really helpful to me. It helps me understand some of my husband's behavior after the affair was discovered.

At first, he defended the OW, saying she was kind and sweet,and that enraged me.

The emails i was forwarded definitely showed her as the aggressor, and she too was telling my husband what to say and do so as to not get caught. She seemed to have had much prior experience with avoiding detection.

At first my husband seemed irritable with me, after he was caught, as if I was the one who had the affair. This hurt and confused me.

Lately, however, he is starting to sound more like you. He is seeing the OW was not a nice person at all,

In fact he has become suspicious that the anonymous person who sent me the emails was the OW. Upon rereading the emails, he agreed that she seemed to be suggesting that he could replace her husband. To me it is obvious.

He claims they both agreed not to leave their spouses from the getgo, and says he told her he loved me.

He said he thought she knew the ground rules and agreed.

Still, the language in her emails definitely gives the impression of someone who was looking to replace her husband with someone new.

This is not my thought alone. Even the counselor agreed she seemed to be looking to replace her husband whom she was very unhappy with because he was working his butt off to enable her to live her extravagant lifestyle.

The counselor however said that it is not unusual for a man to miss those signals while another woman would be honed in on those clues.

My husband also said he started to question her when she was demanding that he plan to go away for long weekends and expensive vacations with her.

He claimed he told her at the outset that spending too much money would likely alert me.

Anyway, any more insight into your thinking during the affair would be helpful because my husband has just recently started to say things similar to what you have said, and I now find that comforting given that you have so much remorse.

At first I distrusted his word, but after reading yours, I trust him more.

One other question, given the situation, do you think you could ever have another affair while married to your present spouse?

That is the question that haunts me.

I would rather end it now than go through this again in another few years or five years or whenever.

I have talked to an attorney and given the evidence, the length of the marriage, and the fact that we had a business together in which I put up half the money for start up, and when that business closed, at his suggestion, I was a trailing spouse who put his career first and reschooled, changed careers several times to accommodate the job prospect in the new locations after moves..., and because of that history, I can file for a grievance divorce, and will likely end up with more than half of everything.

[This message edited by Sara8 at 8:52 AM, October 26th (Wednesday)]


Sara8

Posts: 83 | Registered: Oct 2011
lost and weary
♀ Member
Member # 33433
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i am coming to you as a BS trying minute by minute at times to make it through the day. i am struggling with comparing myself with the OW. i hate it and i hate that it haunts me like it does. i was just wondering what you all might offer as to an explanation of why you choose who you choose. thank you for your help.

[This message edited by lost and weary at 8:38 AM, October 31st (Monday)]


me-bs, 41
him-fwh-39
married 17 years, together 20
daughter-10, son-4
ow-34, married co-worker, with 2 children close in age to mine
ea lasted 7 months til d-day-april 21, 2011, NC since that horrible day.
attempting reconcile
d-day 2- january

Posts: 194 | Registered: Sep 2011
lost and weary
♀ Member
Member # 33433
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


if you are a former or current OW, i'd like to hear your view of all this. The ex-OW in his EA pursued my husband and sought out comfort from him. (she admitted to this so i am not in denial about that) i'd like to know what compels one to do that. i am fully aware that my husband is very much to blame too, more so bc he is the one that promised me to be faithful) so i am not at all saying it's all her fault, he answered the phone, he texted back, he jumped in too. so this is not a blame and vent thing. i just need answers if you can give them. thanks.


me-bs, 41
him-fwh-39
married 17 years, together 20
daughter-10, son-4
ow-34, married co-worker, with 2 children close in age to mine
ea lasted 7 months til d-day-april 21, 2011, NC since that horrible day.
attempting reconcile
d-day 2- january

Posts: 194 | Registered: Sep 2011
neverbelieve
♀ Member
Member # 32711
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why do so many WSs tell such horrid lies about their BS? Why is that necessary?


When the infrastructure of a building is gone the collapse is inevitable.

Posts: 934 | Registered: Jul 2011
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did you ever tell your AP that you no longer loved your spouse?
NO...JUST THAT I WASN'T HAPPY.
Did you tell them that you planned on getting divorced?
NO, NEVER ON THE TABLE FOR EITHER PARTY. IN FACT DAILY WE TALKED ABOUT ENDING IT SO WE COULD GET BACK TO OUR FAMILIES. SO, WHEN I LOOK BACK ON THIS I THINK - DAMN WE WERE JUST USING EACH OTHER THEN AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD!!.... EVEN MY BS ASKS ME WHY I DID IT IF WE NEVER INTENDED TO LEAVE OUR SPOUSES FOR EACH OTHER?
If so, how did that affect your feelings towards and reconciliation with your BS?


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me: 47
him: 51
4 kiddos in lower 20's

“Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace."


Posts: 3627 | Registered: Dec 2010
DixieD
♀ Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Helpmegetoverit,

You said you don't buy into "The Fog'".

What is The Fog to you?

The Fog sounds like clouded unclear thinking to me. It's roots in denial.

Never been a WS so I don't know.

To be honest, I really don't think I thought too deeply about the affair during the affair. It's like I did, but I didn't.

Seen WS's say this on here. Isn't that a type of fog? Not seeing the forest for the trees.

Sounds like you were clouded about your AP until you wrote your timeline.

I was a MASTER at compartmentalizing. Master. I looked at my AP and saw who he was. I knew he was broken,but I still didn't want to see him for the type of broken he was....Believed what he said even when I SAW differently with my own eyes, heard differently with my own ears. I was a master compartmentalizer...he was a master actor.

Compartmentalizing = Denial? Denial clouds thinking.

Deeper thinking helped you see the forest. To see reality, about him and yourself, by losing the denial?

Reading your response about timeline it sounds like fog was lifting but you don't buy into The Fog.

That confuses me. Just trying to understand


Growing forward

Posts: 1444 | Registered: Sep 2011
wantmyfamilyback
♀ Member
Member # 33676
Default  Posted: 11:54 AM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for your responses Rachel and Help. I am a little distraught about my WH telling his AP those very things. I wonder if it made a difference that his AP was single and very interested in a long-term relationship with my WH. Was he just saying those things because it was what she wanted to here and it justified what he was doing? He has told so many lies during his affair, I don't think he knows what to believe anymore.


Me= BS 28
WH= 30
2 OWs
D-Day 1= 7/?/10
D-Day 2= 9/23/11
D-Day 3= 10/16/11
M= almost 9 years
K= DD 2 & DS 6 months
Status= changes almost daily.

Posts: 256 | Registered: Oct 2011
EveryTwo
♀ Member
Member # 32884
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What would you like him to do? Does he seem committed to doing the work on himself?

Ground Zero: This is what he's doing -- IC & MC (same person), trying to change his behaviors (more attentive to me).

What I want him to do: Read more. Do more introspection. Join SI. Figure out WHY he did this (he still claims it was because she was giving him attention). While that may be true...is that really a reason? You can still chose that that point, you can still say no, right?

I am just so worried if he doesn't really figure out WHY...this will happen again. Maybe 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, etc.


BW: Me
WH: Him
3 kids
DDay: July 8, 2011
DDay2: July 30, 2011 (more info)
Working at R

Posts: 91 | Registered: Jul 2011
helpemegetoverit
♀ Member
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 6:37 PM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sara8

I am glad that my posts have helped you, although I have to admit that what you have written leads me to believe that my A wasn't like your husbands at all. Neither my AP nor I were looking to replace our spouses. I, on paper, would be seen as the 'aggressor' because AP wouldn't leave a trail...and to be honest, I am rather aggressive in everything I do. In person things were 50/50....he was VERY good about making sure there would never be any trail .. sometimes he would 'slip up' and his wife would immediately question him about too many texts, etc.

But I don't think the fact that there are not that many similarities matters I guess...I too didn't say too many bad things about my AP at the beginning. I still don't really to my BH. He knows how I feel about him from my writing/journaling/timeline etc. Honestly, I think AP is just as broken as I am...so how can I be THAT harsh about him when I did the same thing? Sure, I can tell myself that it's different because I can't imagine marrying after I cheated and then cheating again a few months after...but besides that what is the difference? I see post after post on here from people who knew there was 'something wrong' or had infidelity early in their marriage and stayed...it happens.


Anyway, any more insight into your thinking during the affair would be helpful because my husband has just recently started to say things similar to what you have said, and I now find that comforting given that you have so much remorse.

At first I distrusted his word, but after reading yours, I trust him more.

One other question, given the situation, do you think you could ever have another affair while married to your present spouse?

I'd be more than happy to share more with you, I'm not exactly sure what you want to know.

Regarding whether I could have cheated again....absolutely. Heck, I did (2 Ddays) just chose the same AP. It was not until I got into some REAL counseling that I figured out my why and have been able to start to work on it. This was my third try, I caution everyone that just because your WS is in IC does NOT mean they are getting the help they need.


Me: WW
Him: BH
Intuition is not a gift, but a skill based in self esteem.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Nov 2010
helpemegetoverit
♀ Member
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 6:47 PM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DixieDevastated

No, I don't agree with the term 'the fog.' It implies that on some level, I was confused or didn't know what I was doing. It implies that I was living in some fantasy land that was all cloudy or something. I just don't buy that. I knew what I was doing. I KNEW it was wrong. I knew I needed to stop, even tried at times. AP felt the same. We talked about that (how is that foggy if you acknowledge it?).

I do see what people are saying when they use the term, I just think it's a silly term because it really implies some sort of mitigating circumstance during the affair. Like 'oh, of course you thought you were in love, you were in the fog.' Um, no, they WERE in love. Sure, it wasn't based on full knowledge of the person, they only got to see/be with each other during good times, but it most certainly was love. I think we all remember falling in love with someone too quickly only to realize as time wore on that it was not going to last. Now, I didn't love my AP, but I just don't believe that people who say 'oh, it wasn't love, it was the fog talking' are correct. I think it's what is said to make us feel better about a spouse having an affair.

Compartmentalizing = Denial? Denial clouds thinking.

Deeper thinking helped you see the forest. To see reality, about him and yourself, by losing the denial?

I don't think denial clouds thinking..I think it is AVOIDING thinking. Slight difference maybe, but still not 'foggy' to me.

I know it doesn't really matter...it's just a term. I wish I could think of a better one...but I think that a 'foggy' person would be confused. I wasn't confused, and neither was my AP. We knew it was wrong, talked about it being wrong, talked about how we needed to stop. That's not confusing or foggy.

To me anyway.


Me: WW
Him: BH
Intuition is not a gift, but a skill based in self esteem.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Nov 2010
helpemegetoverit
♀ Member
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EveryTwo

What I want him to do: Read more. Do more introspection. Join SI. Figure out WHY he did this (he still claims it was because she was giving him attention). While that may be true...is that really a reason? You can still chose that that point, you can still say no, right?

I am just so worried if he doesn't really figure out WHY...this will happen again. Maybe 1 year, 3 years, 5 years, etc.

You are exactly right. I suggest this to most BS who PM me, but always turn the 'why' they are giving you around to them. So, your WH says it is because she paid him attention...say this to him:

'So, the next woman who pays you attention/more attention than I do, you will have an affair with?'

See what he says. Hopefully he'll realize that this CAN'T be his why. Same thing with people who think it is because they were 'bored' or in a rough place in their life, or in their marriage. It's all bull.

Yes, he could have said no, and he didn't. Why didn't he?


Me: WW
Him: BH
Intuition is not a gift, but a skill based in self esteem.

Posts: 872 | Registered: Nov 2010
wheat
♀ Member
Member # 18918
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, October 27th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost and Weary -

if you are a former or current OW, i'd like to hear your view of all this. The ex-OW in his EA pursued my husband and sought out comfort from him. (she admitted to this so i am not in denial about that) i'd like to know what compels one to do that.

I suspect that the addiction of his attention is what drove the continual contact from her end. It's like a drug fix: take away the drug (IE: your husband) and the drive to get the drug back is powerful. Hence the constant reaching out and fishing for a response. Probably also self-esteem issues that go right along with that drive for attention.

I hope my answer makes sense.


"Every new day is another chance to change your life."

FSOW - late 30's, married now.


Posts: 209 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: midwest
MrsConsistency
♀ Member
Member # 32065
Default  Posted: 7:20 AM, October 27th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can I ask a question?

How do you feel when you are forced to have contact with OW but have committed to R? Do you feel angry with her? Cold? In dismay that it ever happened? Is it HARD to shut her out and give her no hope? What kind of energy does it take to keep the cold blind down?

My WH had an affair that I had no idea about (EA/PA). I found out after only a couple of sexual encounters and before they ever got to have intercourse. I'm pretty sure of that based on what they said to each other in texts and emails.

WH wanted to call her after DDAy to see she was ok. I was outraged. He didn't do it. But he held it against me. He decided in a few days to stay. He broke it off with her (in private) but obviously restarted it long-distance within a week without my knowledge.

Why do that? Why not just tell me he'd changed his mind? Why look me in the eye and say he was staying when he was still having an affair and I'd already found out?

He then did just that. Changed his mind. But never owned up to continuing the affair. I don't understand why. He kept trying to make out that he wasn't leaving to go to her.

Finally after months of fence sitting when he was telling me he was trying to decide, and telling her he was definitely leaving me….I found their secret email address and blew the lid.

He went NC with her immediately. He was still inclined to leave but he wanted to preserve the option of the marriage he said. After months of NC he finally seemed to come out of the Fog and decided to stay, broke up with her by email coldly. Gave me complete control of his email and phone. He never looks at his secret email, he asked me to change the password.

Now months into R, going ok…she turns up and keeps visiting him at work. She is trying to get an explanation or get him back or both. She doesn't get it, doesn't believe he really dumped her. She thinks I'm making him (like I could make him go silent for 4 months!).

He will NOT get angry with her. He says a) everything she's done he's done so he would be a hypocrite and b) she won't believe he's sincerely ended it if he's not cool and calm, and c) he wants her out of our lives so cold is the only way to go otherwise there's still emotion.

Now given she's been accusing me of bullying him and forcing him and writing the emails that dumped her… I think he ought to be angry with her in a controlled way. I think I need him to be. He just says coldly no, it was me, no she hasn't done that…

Is this still fog? Will he come out of this or do I have to accept he'll always think she's a "nice person" and he could have been friends if he hadn't let her get too close. I don't think that was ever an option since her own emails admit that she pursued him for 2 years before the affair and she started the affair.


At first, he defended the OW, saying she was kind and sweet,and that enraged me.

The emails i was forwarded definitely showed her as the aggressor, and she too was telling my husband what to say and do so as to not get caught. She seemed to have had much prior experience with avoiding detection.

At first my husband seemed irritable with me, after he was caught, as if I was the one who had the affair. This hurt and confused me.

This is SO like WH was.

Lately, however, he is starting to sound more like you. He is seeing the OW was not a nice person at all,

How long did this take?

I think the worst part of the affair for me was restarting it after I knew. The times he looked me in the eye and told me it was emotional but not physical. The times he looked me in the eye and told me it was over and he was staying, or he was leaning to staying, or he hadn't been in contact and all the while they were texting and calling every day. He even showed me some emails and said that was all…when they were the tip of the iceberg.

How does a WS restart an affair? Do they say "it will all blow over"? or "I didn't really mean it when we broke up"? How do they explain what will happen with the BS assuming they ARE intending to D….?

That's the most HUMILIATING part for me, that he must have told her he could restart it and still stay with me for the time being…like DDay never happened!

Can WS's explain this for me? Can you give me hope that WH might one day hate her for her part in this?


Me - BW
Him - WH
HER - Married OW who will never go away
DDay #1 2/15/11
DDay #2 5/10/11
WH on the fence until 7/1/11
Trying to stay together bearably
I will never be the same (and that's a bad thing)

Posts: 349 | Registered: May 2011
Sara8
♀ Member
Member # 33644
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, October 27th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by Sara8 at 8:41 AM, October 27th (Thursday)]


Sara8

Posts: 83 | Registered: Oct 2011
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