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Betrayed Spouse S.T. D. Support

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SI Staff posted 12/8/2011 07:39 AM

This thread is for BS's that are dealing with sexually transmitted diseases. This thread is for advice and support only, and we recommend all BS's consult with a medical professional.

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 12/8/2011 09:13 AM

Oh, Wow!! Thanks, mods, for this thread!!

Unfortunately, I belong here. Before the A, I was my WSs 'only'. He contracted HPV and Herpes from his A. I was in the dark for a long time and I made HUGE mistakes right after d-day- like having unprotected sex with him. Sooooooo... I found some bumps two years ago and went flying to the Dr. to get checked for HPV. I was STUNNED when they called and said the HPV was negative, but the Herpes was positive. I started to remember when I started having what I called 'wicked yeast infections' and it was just after the A began. I went on Valtrex and have lived a pretty normal life since then- until recently...

I was scheduled to have an oral surgery and I wanted to go off of the Valtrex because I didn't want to admit that I had this- and I have HSV2, so they weren't in danger of getting it from me. So, I ditched the meds and thought I'd just go on them 'as needed'. I can't tell you how much I am regretting that now.

I started feeling tired- like I had mono or something. I have MS and Psoriatic Arthritis, so fatigue is common with those, so I didn't think much about it. I started getting itchy, so I switched-up laundry detergent and my shower gel. I still had problems, so I got a one-day Monistat (and here's where I should have realized what was happening), the applicator hurt. Then, the tell-tale signs appeared and I re-started the Valtrex, but I guess it was too late. That was early October and I am still suffering. Part of it is because my insurance company is jacking me around and required me to go on a less effective med, so I had overlapping outbreaks. The pain has been unreal. The Dr.s are having a hard time getting it settled down because of my other immune issues and I have now been referred to an Infectious Disease Specialist. I hope they can help me.

So, I've felt very alone in this. We are reconciled and I sometimes think it would be a lot easier if he were my 'asshole ex'- at least, I could express my feelings about having gotten this. He did this to me. And it's so hard for him to watch me going through this. It just sucks all around.

0115 posted 12/8/2011 23:22 PM

I agree, thanks mods!!

I got tested for STD's about 5-6 months after D-day because he TT'd me to death. Anyway, I got tested for everything but only was positive for BV. About 5 months later I wanted to be tested again just to make sure and the Dr told me I had HPV warts

We were onlies, so I know they are from one of his OW (there were 2).

I just hate being reminded about the A every night while using the medication. We are in R and it just brings it all back.

Thought, I'm sorry about your condition. I hope it clears up soon. I started having "wicked yeast infections" after the start if his A too but tested negative for Herpes. I still feel like something's weird.

Good luck

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 12/9/2011 04:46 AM


Thanks for your thoughts. I hope this clears-up soon. I have had about as much as I can take!!

I just wanted to make sure you knew that Herpes isn't included in the standard STD screen. I went in and specifically asked for everything, so I thought it had been done. If you didn't specifically ask for it, they probably didn't do it. I found out a couple years after my initial STD tests came back 'all clear'.

About the HPV, my H had an extreme case requiring surgery- it's really, really rare for that to happen. You are using a med? If it's Aldera, that one is really promising in HPV and certain skin cancers, as it helps your body to learn to fight the virus.

If you still feel like something's 'off' down there, go back and have them check again. Hang in there! We'll get through this!!

blonde1963 posted 12/9/2011 05:59 AM

Can someone please tell me how you get genital warts, FWH says they are from stress is this true??

blonde1963 posted 12/9/2011 06:08 AM

Oh I should have mentioned he gave me Clamidea(i hope the spelling is correct)he kept saying, im not stupid I used a condom. He didnt use one on his tongue tho did he(Fuckwit)

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 12/9/2011 07:04 AM

Wow. Genital warts are NOT from stress!! (((blonde1963))) Genital warts are cause by the Human Pappilloma Virus (HPV), which is a sexually transmitted virus. Use of condoms may not always protect you, in the case of both Herpes and HPV.

blonde1963 posted 12/9/2011 08:17 AM

I thought that you could have it for years without symptoms and stress can bring it on.

0115 posted 12/9/2011 08:51 AM

I am struggling with the timing on HPV warts too.

Blonde, from what I've heard it's common that they show up in the following months of first exposure. If they don't, your body probably has fought the virus and they won't show up. BUT I have also heard that stress and pregnancy can bring them on AGAIN, assuming you got them the first time.

My Dr. prescribed Zyclara (imiquoimod) I worry about so many things...probably stupid things but I will say that I was very naive when it came to ANY type of STD's because I "knew" we were onlies. YUCK!

So he never got warts...just passed them on to me

I will say that I would have NEVER even known that I had them if the Dr. hadn't told me. I know that sounds weird too but they are very tiny lines and deep's not like I check there
I guess there are many forms of them because they don't look like the pics on the internet at all.

Thought, I did get tested for Herpes (only because the people on SI told me to specifically ask for it). i have Herpes simplex 1 but not 2. I really hope you get some relief! You sound so strong and I feel like such a baby!

I go crazy when I think back when he started the A. My body was acting up and I thought I was crazy!! They are so cruel that they didn't tell.

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 12/9/2011 10:20 AM

I thought that you could have it for years without symptoms and stress can bring it on.
That can happen, but the cause is the virus.

You sound so strong and I feel like such a baby!
Oh, no! I've been bawling my eyes out for two months!! I try to understand that this won't kill me, but it is awful! And I get 'icked out' when I think about this coming from her. So, no, I don't feel strong. I've tried to be hopeful, but this is really wearing me down.

forgivingnow posted 12/9/2011 15:48 PM

I found out last week my husband has the virus molluscum. Anyone been thru this?

0115 posted 12/9/2011 18:17 PM


Unfortunately, 4 out of my 5 children have had it. Nothing to do with sexual transmission for them (it tends to spread in pools) but it can be spread sexually in adults.

It's not horrible, just a pain to deal with. My oldest sons had theirs frozen off (liquid nitrogen)at a dermatologist, my daughter and youngest son used ZymaDerm and I think it works the best if used faithfully. It used to be only available online but now you can get it at Walgreens too. I've tried the silver stuff and it didn't work at all. They can go away on their own but it can take up to two years. They will still pop up every now and then but they are building an immunity to them.

I'm not really sure about the genital kind but I think it's more or less the same thing...a virus (like warts, but soft and bubbly) that eventually go away. They say they're contagious but my middle daughter never got them and neither did my H or I. I guess it just depends on your immunity to the virus.

Sorry you're dealing with it. Just checked your profile...good luck on R, we're about the same age and have been married the same amount of time.

blonde1963 posted 12/9/2011 18:41 PM

Now I really really need to clarify something if there are any GP's on here. Can you go 15 years with the virus then the warts show up??? He went with a couple of prostitutes before we met (around 17 18)and got the warts at 35 before the the first known OW

Elisabeth Ann posted 12/11/2011 00:55 AM

I am HIV positive. My husband and I have been married since 1/70 and I found out 2 months after our 40th Anniversary that he had contracted HIV from a stripper that he had unprotected sex with in 2008. Previously in that year, he had cruised chat rooms and slept with several women he met online. Luckily for them, the person who gave him the disease was the last stranger he had sex with, so I was the only person he infected. Ironically, he doesn't have to take any medications but because he didn't tell me for 9 months after he was diagnosed, I am on a daily regimen of 3 pills a day for the rest of my life. If you read my profile or my journal, I hope you will all make sure to get an HIV test. They are not done routinely and since there are no symptoms until you are very ill (which can take years) you can be HIV positive without knowing it. To all of you I send prayers that none of you ever have to add this disease to the heartbreak you already suffer.

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 12/11/2011 01:40 AM

(((Elisabeth Ann)))

I'm familiar with your story. Any of us here could be HIV+, many probably are and just don't know it- yet. You know you can talk to us here, whenever you're feeling alone. We're here for you.

LionessQn76 posted 12/11/2011 10:23 AM


My exbf from hs had sex with me knowing he had an active outbreak.

XWSO knew I had herpes and for 8yrs we were together he didn't contract it. I never had sex while I had an flareup and we practice goodh hygeine after sex.

I have few flare up now seems to be stress related.

painpaingoaway posted 12/11/2011 15:55 PM

Wow! I am so glad we have finally been given our own thread.

Yep, my H infected me with his whore's STD. That was how I found out he was doctor told me, nice huh? :(

ThoughtIKnewYa posted 12/15/2011 08:25 AM


Well, I see an Infectious Disease Specialist on Tues. and I'm ready. Hoping she can help me. I *think* I'm doing better- swelling is going down... Still itchy though. Still icing down the hoo-ha.

painpaingoaway posted 12/16/2011 13:12 PM

Bumping for stillilovehim.

painpaingoaway posted 12/16/2011 17:11 PM

Anyone getting the Gardasil shot for their kids?
I just took DS22 for his second shot, even though he has already been sexually active for years. His doc said it can't hurt.

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