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Betrayed Spouse S.T. D. Support

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Blameitontherain posted 9/26/2013 21:09 PM

Fogged in: you could ask for a polygraph. He may come clean with just the mention of one. Or he will he continue to deny. Either way if you ask for it, go through with it. Don't let him call your bluff.

I too thought my husband had been in the small percentage that carried a std dormnt or the test was a false positive. 4 years later, I demanded a blood test to see if he had the antibodies in his blood. All lies.... He cheated. He came out with the truth once I had him backed into a corner and was going to find out no matter what.

FoggedIn posted 9/27/2013 12:02 PM

:: Blameitontherain ::

I've seriously been considering a poly.. I mentioned it and he immediately said it would not be accurate because of his anxiety issues. I assured him, that wouldn't play a role in the outcome.

I think I'll just schedule it and see what happens.

Thank you for your reply!

brknwmn posted 9/27/2013 21:56 PM

Sweetie, I'm glad you are protecting yourself by insisting on the condom usage, but why are you still with this guy?

I understand it seems stupid. he said he used a condom with the last AP and I didn't believe him at first. I called my doctor and did some research and he passed a polygraph test that he really did use a condom. he also has been going to SA and I truly believe he's realized how serious his addiction was...and he's done nothing but prove himself to me.

he's agreed to STD checks every 6 months (or whenever I ask) as well as poly tests whenever I want...and believe me I'm testing every time I feel the need.

brknwmn posted 9/27/2013 21:56 PM

that was in response to pain pain

Raven96 posted 10/16/2013 07:26 AM

After finding this site I realized that I should get tested for STDs. WH's "We never got together" excuse suddenly seemed unlikely. So 5 months after DDay I got tested, which was two weeks ago. I've been watching for the results in my mailbox and when they didn't come yet yesterday I had a feeling something wasn't right. Sure enough, this morning I saw that I missed a call from my Dr. yesterday. She left a message that her next day in the office is Friday, and I can call her then to discuss the results of "one of my tests." Hopefully if it was serious she would have told me to call the office in her absence?

I've had HPV in the past (WH is a carrier), which cleared up on its own. WH and I hadn't had sex at all in 3 years (and maybe twice a year for several years prior to that) before the "EA", so all of my exams have been clean for the past 5 years. Now this. I'm hoping it is just the HB we've been doing is making the normal exam out of whack again.

Can anyone weigh in?

marlie2014 posted 10/17/2013 10:00 AM

Raven, I wish I knew what to tell you.

I found out on Tuesday afternoon that I get to join this club now. Herpes and the two strains of HPV that put me at high risk for cervical cancer. WS said he had used a condom 'most of the time.'

When we got married, I was a virgin. I've never been with any other man. It feels like a cruel punishment for having "saved myself" for marriage and having stayed faithful to him all these years.

At work, they're concerned that I keep leaving early or taking sick leave for Dr. appts. I don't want to talk about what's wrong.

It's horrible to think that I could pass these viruses on if I ever got pregnant. Of course, if we get divorced, I may never get pregnant. I have no wish to put myself out there again. Why should I? Singleness is not pathetic, especially if you already tried true love and it ripped your guts out.

I'm getting a colposcopy done next week.

StuckInHell posted 10/22/2013 21:29 PM

I had STD testing done yesterday, and I am really freaking out about the HIV test. SAWH has admitted to unprotected sex with a stripper. I should have results Friday, or Monday at the latest. Anyone know what percentage the chances are that it could be positive?

sailorgirl posted 10/22/2013 23:34 PM

Came across your post and wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. I was really freaked about HIV, too. A doctor friend told me that almost all people get really sick with the initial infection (like bad flu or mono sick). This happens a few days or possibly a week after exposure. While I was waiting for results, I felt hopeful because neither WH not I had been sick like that and his A had been going on for over a year.

This really sucks, but we are here for you.

StuckInHell posted 10/23/2013 14:59 PM

sailor- thanks for your thoughts. Dr. called today to tell me everything was negative. Finally some good news and a little relief. Will need to repeat HIV in 6 weeks in case it is 'hiding'. I was worrying myself because both SAWH and I had colds in late August. I am hopeful that the test in 6 weeks will also be negative!

marlie2014 posted 10/23/2013 15:49 PM

Stuck, I'm so glad for you! Today I get my colposcopy done for my HPV diagnosis.
I know the chances that I have cervical cancer are small, but I'm unhappy about it nonetheless. And herpes is never going to go away. If I ever get married to someone else (or, if WS gets his act together and we're actually able to reconcile...which I'm starting to think would take a miracle...), I'll have to always make sure they use a condom so I don't give them my STD's.

StuckInHell posted 10/23/2013 15:55 PM

marlie- I hope your results are good from the colposcopy. Doesn't it really suck that we can move on from this nightmare, but SAWH will still harm us with these STD's. I have never had a cold sore in my life until the recent cold I had. DR. said no need to test because that means I have been exposed to herpes. When I go back in 6 weeks I may ask if it is oral or genital and what that means for any future relationships.

marlie2014 posted 10/23/2013 19:11 PM

Stuck and others,

The colposcopy wasn't so bad. I went to a Dr. on the Mexican side of the border who charged me less than a tenth of what I would have paid in the US. He was far more gentle with me than my American gyno and it didn't hurt at all. It was kind of weird watching my insides on a video monitor (also something my American gyno didn't do), but he said everything looked fine, did two biopsies and said I'd have my results in 10 days. He also said to come back in 4 months to do it again, and that there was a good chance that my immune system would get rid of it on its own.

Herpes, though, I will never get rid of.

Dreamland posted 11/22/2013 22:04 PM

Thanks mods for this thread. I just found it post 20 months DDay I have herpes. Soneventhough I had been tested twice last month I went in asking to be retested. I thought they had done herpes. See I believed my fWH when he said there was no sex. Stupid me we had HB for many many months. But once I got the truth we both got tested. But apparently not for herpes. So now I will send him. Even though he said what for now.
Anyway struggling so much. Crying all day.. Because I am worried about my DD getting it. We have been sharing a razor make up etc..
Thanks for support in advance.

myowndystopia posted 12/4/2013 11:35 AM

So I braved up and went last week for all my std testing. I walked out with a prescription for antibiotic because of trichomoniasis. This dx was made because of "strawberry cervix" which I guess is a sign for trichomoniasis. Just got all the lab results back this morning. The trich test (urine) came back negative. So I wonder, was it a false negative? Are there other conditions that cause the strawberry cervix? Is there a high incidence of false negatives for this? I've just told my WH because I wanted all the results so I only had to have one conversation with him about it. So-I'm a little confused about the results! Any thoughts?

myowndystopia posted 12/4/2013 11:38 AM

Oh - and all the other tests came back good. I guess repeat HIV in 6 months......

nomoredreams posted 1/4/2014 18:32 PM

I read the first 8 pages, then my comp started pulling up blank pages. So, here goes. My husband generously gave me herpes one of the genetalia. The pictures that bring to mind turn my stomach. But he is not my main concern.

I have a young child with late stage cancer. My dr said no kissing him on or near the mouth, he is not to touch the adults' towels, washcloths, soaps, food/drink or dirty laundry. So when I hold my desperately ill child -after making him wait while I scrub my hands, I can kiss his head. If we touch hands, we both have to wash after.

While I have to be careful doing his injections and port care all the time, this dramatically ramps up the need for safety precautions. And while I have been praying for a cure all along, this adds another dimension to my not let me make this any worse.

Does anyone have any idea just how contagious this is without sexual contact...including kissing?

nomoredreams posted 1/13/2014 14:08 PM

My gyno said I think you have herpes...I did because hubby had a girlfriend. The herpes is enough for me, but no.

It seems to have met and become great pals with my MS. My left hand is nearly useless and it is spreading. My vision is just a blur, to the point I am afraid to drive. (I have to drive my son to chemo every week. It is one hour each way.) Left side foot drop is getting worse. And the sores! They won't go away!

It has been 2 months. The gyno says ask the neuro. The neuro says ask the gyno. Both say it is a combo they are unfamiliar with...I know other MSers are here. Has anyone found some magical combo of meds that works?

And,please, do not suggest I avoid stress. Thank you, thank you, thank you. nmd.

painpaingoaway posted 1/13/2014 14:19 PM

Oh dear God sweetie! I don't have any answers for you, but I want you to know that I will keep you and your child in my prayers for strength and healing for you both.

mystified1970 posted 1/19/2014 00:28 AM

WS tested positive for herpes. I live in a foreign country that will literally revoke my employment visa if I test positive for certain STDs so I don't know what to do now.

These past 24 hours have felt like D day all over again, minus the breaking of things.
So sorry for everyone going through this.

nomoredreams posted 1/19/2014 00:57 AM

Mystified, I am so incredibly sorry you wound up on this thread. Unfortunately, it is not one that many people come rushing to when they want to talk. If you are up to that much sharing, you might have better luck posting on the general or just found our forums. Prayers...nmd

mystified1970 posted 1/20/2014 06:50 AM

nomoredreams, I found out a long time ago...about the betrayals. Only recently found out about the STDs. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to get tested here without getting booted out of the country and losing a job I love.

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