They need to do a test to confirm it. My Dr. maliciously (IMO- he had a negative test and told me it was positive) told me I had herpes and I DO NOT. I would have never known if I hadn't had an auto-immune condition called Lichen Sclerosus and thought it was my "herpes". None of the meds were working and I was eventually sent to an Infectious Disease Dr., who did a DNA test and determined that I NEVER had herpes. So, MAKE them test you. And HUGE (((((((((HUGS))))))))) to you!
You can talk your MD into just about any test. When possible test using more sensitive and more expensive DNA tests, not antibody based tests, which can have false negative or inconslusive test results.
If you get a negative result and you do not believe it, ask for a retest or ask the MD to ask the lab to test the specimen again.
I know labs make errors - you will have to trust me on this one.
If anyone has medical or STD related questions message me and I will do my best to support you.
“Whatever follows after DD is much more crucial than the infidelity action itself” Quote by SI Member Melian40
"I'm a good man, not an option" - Steppingup
Lately he keeps telling me that he intends to remain celibate and has suggested I get a boyfriend/lover since there's "no point in both of us being abstinent". I refuse to entertain this idea but this is almost a feeling worse than the initial betrayal. I avoid hugging and kissing him now because it always tends to lead to other things and I'm really lonely and hurt. I don't really have any friends where I am and the closest family is literally almost 1,000 miles away. I've been trying to get out more and make friends, but it was already hard enough rebuilding our bond because we have an infant that keeps us from going out often and now this. How do you 'fix' things when obstacles keep getting thrown in your way? I really could use some advice; TIA.
My WH was tested for STD's previously after his strayings, but was apparently never offered a blood test for HSV-2 or HepB until recently, both of which came back positive. I of course immediately had my dr screen me for everything, specifically those two and came back negative for everything.
I am very familar with HepB with my medical experience, the kind of test you take can really alter the result you get, if the test was "antibody" based you can miss what is called the "window period" and you could be infected while your immunesystem was not yet producting antigens for it, which such a test looks for. What you want is a DNA test, a PCR test for HBV, qualitative test, not quantitative test. The HBV virus is a sneaky little devil and its titer in a body can vary depending on many factors. In a few weeks go have another test. Seriously, unless you had the HBV vaccine, if you did, don't bother getting tested.
While I am of course relieved, my H has been very depressed and sworn off sex.
He needs to, becuase he is carrying HBV and there is NO CURE and that virus will kill your liver and cause persons great hard and early death. He will kill others (early) if they get that virus. If he ever does have sex, he must wear a condom 100% of the time, and get the really good ones! Kissing is fine, just make sure he didn't floss or has any blood in his mouth.
and has suggested I get a boyfriend/lover since there's "no point in both of us being abstinent". I refuse to entertain this idea but this is almost a feeling worse than the initial betrayal.
DONT DO IT.
I've been trying to get out more and make friends, but it was already hard enough rebuilding our bond because we have an infant that keeps us from going out often and now this
In time you will, and it will feel good.
How do you 'fix' things when obstacles keep getting thrown in your way? I really could use some advice; TIA.
In time you will see clearly what to do, when we are hurt and sad and anxious we cannot do anything. In time my dear. God Bless, Step.
I actually did get vaccinated for HepB in hs because I took a class where we did clinical rotations in a hospital. However, I will take your advice and get tested again in the future.
Just really frustrating dealing with the fallout of his garbage over and over again. Stuff like this makes me want to throw in the towel. I've reached the point now where I'm constantly asking myself 'what's he going to tell me this time?'. I really need to hear some 'yeah it sucks but we made it through anyway' stories from people.
Last pap smear was just before the ex, and didn't have HPV; we had a non-monogamous relationship for a while but I was using condoms then, so don't quite know if this is to be attributed to the ex's cheating or not. Certainly his cheating seems to have pervasive for many months of the year we were sleeping together without condoms.
Regardless of blame...I'm not quite sure what to do with this news? My doctor says 80% of young women have it; I was slightly too old for the vaccine. Guess I just have to tell the current guy I'm dating and sort it out with him.
My obgyn tested me further to see if I had one of the main cancer causing hpv strains. Evidently there a couple or few which cause 70% of the hpv related cancers. Men can also get cancer on their penis and testicles from hpv and ppl can get throat cancer.
Fortunately I don't have one of these but mine hasn't gone away after 2 years so it may do damage yet to me...
[This message edited by whattheh at 4:51 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)]