They need to do a test to confirm it. My Dr. maliciously (IMO- he had a negative test and told me it was positive) told me I had herpes and I DO NOT. I would have never known if I hadn't had an auto-immune condition called Lichen Sclerosus and thought it was my "herpes". None of the meds were working and I was eventually sent to an Infectious Disease Dr., who did a DNA test and determined that I NEVER had herpes. So, MAKE them test you. And HUGE (((((((((HUGS))))))))) to you!
You can talk your MD into just about any test. When possible test using more sensitive and more expensive DNA tests, not antibody based tests, which can have false negative or inconslusive test results.
If you get a negative result and you do not believe it, ask for a retest or ask the MD to ask the lab to test the specimen again.
I know labs make errors - you will have to trust me on this one.
If anyone has medical or STD related questions message me and I will do my best to support you.
Lately he keeps telling me that he intends to remain celibate and has suggested I get a boyfriend/lover since there's "no point in both of us being abstinent". I refuse to entertain this idea but this is almost a feeling worse than the initial betrayal. I avoid hugging and kissing him now because it always tends to lead to other things and I'm really lonely and hurt. I don't really have any friends where I am and the closest family is literally almost 1,000 miles away. I've been trying to get out more and make friends, but it was already hard enough rebuilding our bond because we have an infant that keeps us from going out often and now this. How do you 'fix' things when obstacles keep getting thrown in your way? I really could use some advice; TIA.
My WH was tested for STD's previously after his strayings, but was apparently never offered a blood test for HSV-2 or HepB until recently, both of which came back positive. I of course immediately had my dr screen me for everything, specifically those two and came back negative for everything.
I am very familar with HepB with my medical experience, the kind of test you take can really alter the result you get, if the test was "antibody" based you can miss what is called the "window period" and you could be infected while your immunesystem was not yet producting antigens for it, which such a test looks for. What you want is a DNA test, a PCR test for HBV, qualitative test, not quantitative test. The HBV virus is a sneaky little devil and its titer in a body can vary depending on many factors. In a few weeks go have another test. Seriously, unless you had the HBV vaccine, if you did, don't bother getting tested.
While I am of course relieved, my H has been very depressed and sworn off sex.
He needs to, becuase he is carrying HBV and there is NO CURE and that virus will kill your liver and cause persons great hard and early death. He will kill others (early) if they get that virus. If he ever does have sex, he must wear a condom 100% of the time, and get the really good ones! Kissing is fine, just make sure he didn't floss or has any blood in his mouth.
and has suggested I get a boyfriend/lover since there's "no point in both of us being abstinent". I refuse to entertain this idea but this is almost a feeling worse than the initial betrayal.
DONT DO IT.
I've been trying to get out more and make friends, but it was already hard enough rebuilding our bond because we have an infant that keeps us from going out often and now this
In time you will, and it will feel good.
How do you 'fix' things when obstacles keep getting thrown in your way? I really could use some advice; TIA.
In time you will see clearly what to do, when we are hurt and sad and anxious we cannot do anything. In time my dear. God Bless, Step.
I actually did get vaccinated for HepB in hs because I took a class where we did clinical rotations in a hospital. However, I will take your advice and get tested again in the future.
Just really frustrating dealing with the fallout of his garbage over and over again. Stuff like this makes me want to throw in the towel. I've reached the point now where I'm constantly asking myself 'what's he going to tell me this time?'. I really need to hear some 'yeah it sucks but we made it through anyway' stories from people.
Last pap smear was just before the ex, and didn't have HPV; we had a non-monogamous relationship for a while but I was using condoms then, so don't quite know if this is to be attributed to the ex's cheating or not. Certainly his cheating seems to have pervasive for many months of the year we were sleeping together without condoms.
Regardless of blame...I'm not quite sure what to do with this news? My doctor says 80% of young women have it; I was slightly too old for the vaccine. Guess I just have to tell the current guy I'm dating and sort it out with him.
My obgyn tested me further to see if I had one of the main cancer causing hpv strains. Evidently there a couple or few which cause 70% of the hpv related cancers. Men can also get cancer on their penis and testicles from hpv and ppl can get throat cancer.
Fortunately I don't have one of these but mine hasn't gone away after 2 years so it may do damage yet to me...
[This message edited by whattheh at 4:51 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)]
After the tingle-y, itchy bumps turned into painful, oozing sores, I knew what it had to be, and eventually, (embarrassed), I showed my WBF, (he felt terrible, as he fucking well should), then went to my doctor. She said yes, without a doubt, you have herpes. Herpes!! Yuuuck!! I was so depressed and felt humiliated. There is no cure, and it's chronic, it keeps coming back - around my period, during times of stress (hello), and for added fun, it shows up in the form of huge zits on my face. Right now, I'm broken out so badly, I don't want to be seen. It's like a badge of shame. :(
Medicine (Valtrex or generic) can be prescribed, (I can't afford it right now!) - take it at the very first tingle to get the most benefit. But YES - if you are concerned, see your doctor ASAP. Because if it IS herpes (and I REALLY hope it's not, for your sake), it gets very MUCH WORSE VERY FAST if your first outbreak goes untreated, AND the longer you wait to get treated, the longer it takes to subside.
Good luck & stay strong!!
Living together, still figuring it out.
Here we are, 6 or so months later, taking Acyclovir twice a day daily. We stand next to each other every morning and night taking our meds. Silently. he asked his doc for suppressive therapy for a full year. Mine only wanted to put me on for 6 months to see how things went. As I near the end of my prescription I'm worried. I have noticed a few outbreaks over these past months, but very mild and only lasting a few days at most. Should I be worried about outbreaks returning once I'm off the meds? Should I consider asking my doc to extend my prescription? Wondering if anyone else has dealt with going off meds and how things were afterwards.
I am married over 40 years and WH has been my only sexual partner. My state tested blood for STDs at the time so I know we were both clean at the time of marriage. I also had a pap a few months prior in order to begin birth control. I have been consistent with yearly paps and have had two children since without problem.
I was diagnosed with BV at the time of WH affair twelve years ago. No doubt in my mind why. I had one UTI a couple of years ago. Unsure if I can blame it on WH.
Since the A I have remembered that I had some sort of infection many years ago...my only other female problem EVER. I cannot remember if there were any bumps or rash, but there was pain when I urinated. There was genital burning and clothing contact was very uncomfortable. I never went to the doctor because there was no appointment available before my period was due in a few days. After my period all symptoms were gone. Of course, I now suspect another A.
Could this have been a yeast infection that cleared up voluntarily? Or??? Obviously I know it was not BV or UTI but have no other experience to compare to.
"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."