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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affair - Part 28
SI Staff
Moderator
Member # 10
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, December 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
jollum
♂ Member
Member # 25152
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, December 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((UKGirl))))

Posts: 269 | Registered: Aug 2009
old dipstick
♂ Member
Member # 25598
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, December 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ukgirl.

Thinking of you.
Hugs, Dip.


Her WW 60
Me BH 60
M 36 yr
D-day#1 fall of 76 OM#1 2NS
D-day#2 summer of 89 OM#2 LTA 8 yrs OM#3 Short Term A


Posts: 751 | Registered: Sep 2009
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, December 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ukgirl... you are in my prayers.

Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
deeppurple
♂ Member
Member # 28757
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, December 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((UKgirl)))

Thinking of you & your family. You are in my prayers.


Me - BS 49
Her - WS 43
Married 16 yrs (together 17 yrs)
DD13 DS10 DS8 DS6
DDay 1 6.4.2010 dday 2 7.25.2010
Heading for divorce.
"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Where the sun is shining & the surf is pumping
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, December 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKgirl-
I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Sending you long distance hugs.


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
mitz66
♀ Member
Member # 17888
Default  Posted: 6:00 PM, December 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{UK Girl}}} my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.


Me:44 BS Him:43 WH
M May 07 Adult kids
DDay #1 Pics on cell jly 07
Jan08 DDay #2 "Just Friends" admits EA DDay #3 July 2010 - he insisted on platonic contact ..False R - until Dec 2010 admits PA in April 07
Dec 2012 NC succeeded

Posts: 542 | Registered: Jan 2008
worst-year-ever
♀ Member
Member # 33003
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, December 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((UKGirl))))


Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R

Posts: 1282 | Registered: Aug 2011
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 11:17 PM, December 15th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all

Thanks so much for your kind responses and good advice.

Still deciding what to do about accessing the site.

Sending big HUGS to you all with special thoughts and prayers for you UKgirl

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, December 16th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura-
Sent you a pm


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, December 16th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks. This is so hard. Once again dropping in quickly. FWH is hanging around waiting to go out.

Laura, I don't know what has happened - I'll have to go back to 27 and find out. but take some hugs for now..... (((((Laura)))))

Thereís no change with my Dad. My twin brother has gone down to make sure our older acts appropriately and to be there for Mum. None of us, me, my twin or my sister, can predict how he will react Ė as I said, he is by far the most fragile and least able to cope in a crisis, although ironically, he thinks he can. The doctor has upped the meds. I hope itís not long. Poor Mum.

And then to while away some time, I and for some parts fWH, just watched One Hour Photo. I didnít know it would have infidelity in it. There is a part where Robin Williams confronts the adulterous pair in the hotel room wielding a hunting knife. I wish Iíd been able to do that. I would have LOVED to have done something like that. Made it all so sleazy and sordid and pathetic.

And my Dad knows nothing of what fWH has done. He thinks/thought of him as a wonderful SIL who adored his daughter. As a man of integrity. Maybe he had an inkling, who knows. He was very gentle with me when I lost a ton of weight, soÖ..

Anyway, thanks for your support and hugs. I donít know how I survived before SI.
(((((Tribe)))))


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 2:09 AM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{UKgirl}}}

I too am keeping you, your dad and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Also praying for the doctor and caregivers to do the best possible for him at this stage.
It's never easy to accept the loss when it comes, prepared or not, but please know we are here for you.

Bummer about the movie too! Is there a movie or tv show without infidelity in it at some point???
Lately I only feel safe watching programs with my 2 1/2 yr old grandson. Christmas shows are alright except for the Russell Peters show the other night... far too many off-colour references in a supposed holiday special, imo!
Vent over...

Hugs to all {{{LTA}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:13 AM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, itís over. My older brother phoned at 5.45 this morning and said Dad had died in his sleep. I donít know exactly, but I rather suspect that Mum woke up at some point and realised he wasnít breathing. My twin had texted me last night to say that Dad was sleeping peacefully and quietly and that Mum was dozing in the lounge, utterly shattered. I think it went pretty much as he wanted Ė no hospitals and the pain was for just a few days.

I woke this morning about 4am (nothing unusual there) and kept thinking that a white light was flashing, but each time I opened my eyes, it was dark. I was thinking about him, I could hear him too. Bless you, which is what he kept saying to me when I was there. Iím not religious (although my parents are), so it was odd. White light.

Iím incredibly sad. DS17 was weeping when he hugged me this morning. DS25 rang from NZ, obviously very sad and said he loved me and his Grandpam and that he would ring her in a day or two. He is so sweet.

My Dad was a highly regarded man, a village elder, a sage and wise person. People came to him for all sorts of advice Ė form filling, dealing with authorities, dealing with family problems, bereavement, all sorts of things. He did all the paperwork for all the community projects Ė parish hall, church rafters, school canteen, football showers, countless little things too. There will be many tears shed by many people today.

But life goes on. I think my brothers will sort all the initial stuff. The lovely vicar (female) will call in and look after my Mum and everything to do with the service. Dad had a small area in front of the Celtic cross in the churchyard consecrated for cremated remains and had a blank plaque put there ready for him and Mum. Thatís organisation for you.

I know many of you know just how I am feeling. I will carry the memories of my generously spirited father. One who always had a twinkle in his ice blue eyes.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And the film Ė fWH just didnít get it. Didnít flinch. Asked why I was looking at him ďlike thatĒ He wasnít affected in the least! But then he just kept it all in the box in his head and i guess thatís where he still keeps it all. Shut up and locked.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
trynhard
♂ Member
Member # 22698
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey UK... It sounds like you had a great father.

For you UK...


So I googled your whitelight...

by Carl Sandburg - Whitelight

Your whitelight flashes
the frost to-night
Moon of the purple
and silent west.
Remember me
one of your lovers of dreams.

[This message edited by trynhard at 7:28 AM, December 17th (Saturday)]


Posts: 2636 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Indiana
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((UK))))

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
ImNellNow
♀ Member
Member # 28753
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, UKgirl.
(((((UK and family)))))
Tears shed here, too, for the loss of a precious, loving soul. Prayers for you all.
XOXO - Nell

P.S. Tryn, that's beautiful.


BS & D
Drinking wine and thinking bliss is on the other side of this.

Posts: 2370 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Baby steps on my new path
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{{UKgirl}}}}}
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time. It's so hard when someone so wonderful leaves us. He was a great man.

Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
worst-year-ever
♀ Member
Member # 33003
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((UKGirl))))

Lost my Daddy this year too. xoxo


Me: BW
Him: FWH
4 kids & 20 years together
DD: 7/7/11
OW1: 3yr+ LTA
OW2: My xBFF
Trying to R

Posts: 1282 | Registered: Aug 2011
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKG, I'm so sorry for your loss.


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
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