((20swrongs)) Your compassion is overwhelming. Thank you. I am going on this trip. I have no illusions about my mother or my sibs.
The nightmares have been replaced by insomnia. I think that's perhaps an improvement.
After confrontation many years ago, my parents and sibs joined my XH in a custody suit agaist me. Both parents and all sibs testified against me to try to take my kids away. I stood strong and prevailed. Walked away for good, or so I thought. But I got dragged back. My mother admitted that their testifying against me was retaliatory. I demanded an apology. Her answer to me is burned into my memory. She said "Edith, you had better hope your DD and DS don't ever DO THIS TO YOU." Again after that I went years of NC. It has been an ongoing battle.
But I am going on this trip in an effort to do what I feel is right. This woman gave birth to me. I have looked at all the wrongs she has done in her life and thank God I am not like her. I know that so many times she had choices to make and she made the wrong ones. I don't want to ever look back on my life and feel regret for having made a wrong choice on something irreversible. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone.
I will update when I return. And thank you for the kindness, it means so much to me. I pray that we all find peace.