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Newest Member: iknowiwillbeok (43219)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread part 10
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 4:55 AM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So Hurt! (((lovely lady)))

Well, I am so far from the tropics, you couldn't get much further. But we do have many, many birds of prey (not mentioning the name as TMI), and some spectacular feeding displays, where the air if filled with them.

And have the room to host any of the tribe that want to do some communing with such magnificent soaring creatures.

So an open invitation to all.


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TIKY: It was my browser, I think; I was doing it from bed, and it gave the mobile address for the image. It's all fixed now.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:33 AM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

v, too much! Tribe's very own.
Wow. Fantastic.

Someone say vacay?
I'm up for that!
It even rhymes with UK!

Sending a pm Edie.


Posts: 6027 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Edie))))) you are lovely! I would LOVE to see the aerial display! Wouldn't it be wonderful to spend time together watching that?

jj...You're just too funny! Rhyming away...

And Veritas... that is one cute critter. I LOVE it! Though not what it stands for. LOL


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Greetings and salutations to the Tribe.

I do not post much here because I rarely feel I can add to the wisdom of the more experienced Tribe members however I do lurk everyday to watch the progress and growth of every member of the Tribe. You folks are all doing dang good, keep going. You all are an inspiration and a great source of guidance for me, thank you very much.

Veritas, be afraid since I have the exact duplicate of your zebraduck sitting on my router just below my monitor and staring at me right now. The Marine Corps Alumni were selling different rubber ducks outside the grocery store a few months ago and there was my newest desk ornament among the others. I doubt the retired Marine manning the table knew how many smiles he has given me.

To the new members of the Tribe, listen to those here they are pretty darn smart.

To the whole Tribe, keep on keppin' on and be safe and well.


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1656 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, v... is that duck cross eyed or is it just me? I LOVE it. Because the zebraduck is surely a little bit for all that it looks exotic.

I want to ask the tribe for collective finger crossing. Stretch has indicated that he has signed the divorce decree and had it notarized and will hand it over to me tonight... I don't think he knows how badly I want it or he'd never give it over. I indicated that if the divorce didn't get done before the end of next month, the filing would expire. that is true, but I simply stated that the order that I paid for would expire with the implication being that I would not be paying again and nonchalant about it one way or the other. INside I am seething with how damn difficult this process has been. Having him served has been expensive and unsuccessful. AND now I am relying on his cooperation? How did it come to this?

I suspect there are a lot of grounded eagles in this group. We'll all practice soaring.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5307 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
soverybetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jpapa, you may not know it but you have been an inspiration for me with all of your kind words when I am feeling blue. You are part of the tribe and I for one would love to meet you. You are a very wise man.

I love love love th zebrduck and must get one for myself to hang by it's neck and use as a punching bag when I get mad at stbx. LOL

caregiver, stay strong but cool and those papers will be in your hands tonight. Soon he will be outta your life.

SoHurt, hey girl nice to see you so happy and so determined. You too are a strong woman who is just coming into herself again. You will be so much better off without out stbx and so will the boys.

Now...slap me silly and color me red cause I just got some much needed news. I have it on very VERY good authority that my stbxwhNPD cheated on his first wife also. I knew it I just knew it. I had a gut feeling that he was a serial cheater and now I have the proof. I intend to hand it over to my attorney so he can show a pattern with this cretin. I am glad I followed my gut and reached out to her. It is just more icing on the cake so to speak. More proof that it wasn't me that caused him to cheat (i know it wasn't) but rather this is his pattern.

Now picture me doing the dance of joy.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1194 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Being an AWESOME ME!
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 5:21 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Care, I am keeping my toes crossed since I type so poorly anyway crossing my fingers would make my post more illegible. I hope tonight is the finality that you deserve and a new start away from the sinking SS Narcisus.

SVB, keep in mind that I have to appear wise and attempt to be witty because I have a face made for radio so meeting me in person might be frightening. If there is ever a gathering of the Tribe I would relish the opportunity to give you all a real life chuck on the shoulder.


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1656 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

svb, buy a lottery ticket cause you were spot on tonight!

Jpapa, them are some special lucky toes.

I got the paper and best I can tell it is all in order. It is notarized and everything...

sigh, finally!!!

now I am afraid to send it to my L who has somehow managed to bungle every aspect of this to date or at least drag it out. I am far more tempted to drive it to the courthouse and hand deliver the damn thing.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5307 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a real ducky that squirts liquid, so maybe you can take one and fill it up with dye, then squirt your NPD when they say something mean, evil, or stupid. It works for cats


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YAY, Caregiver!!!!!! ***whew!*** I didn't think he'd hand them over, but I'm glad he did.

v, thanks for the pic.

svb,

I have it on very VERY good authority that my stbxwhNPD cheated on his first wife also. I knew it I just knew it. I had a gut feeling that he was a serial cheater and now I have the proof.

If he's NPD, then he's certainly a serial cheater! Just comes with the territory.

Posts: 10975 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: North Carolina
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 7:50 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't think he would either. Or that they wouldn't be notarized or something. You know - the appearance of complying but not really.

WELL celebrate being wrong!

He seemed sulky. So I asked if the June payment would be forthcoming.

Me: are you going to have money for me tomorrow?

Him: more sulky than before, "I'll pay you when I can."

It was worth it to ask.

I am going along and paying my way and TAKING CARE OF THE CHILDREN even when he doesn't. So asking him if he is going to contribute and having him admit "UM no NOT REALLY" was ... almost satisfying.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5307 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the appearance of complying but not really.
Yes, that's EXACTLY what I thought would happen! Makes me wonder what his next move will be, though.

Posts: 10975 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: North Carolina
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Caregiver: i am so glad you got your document today! Confirmation that he is a shitheel is just the icing on the cake and yes, the zebraduck is exotic, but erm, a little off around the eyes

Jpapageorge: yes! We exist! We are here! And we have souvenirs to prove it!

Svb: i was just telling someone today that outing a lying, crazymaking motherfucker is so very, very satisfying. And healing. It might seem petty to normal folks, and eventually you get to the point where not calling them on their bs is even more satisfying, but it is a process.

Today i got a text from a phone number that was not in my contacts, basically stating that this someone would have dinner for the kids tomorrow night. I knew who it was, so all i texted back was, "fucktard?"

I knew what the number was, too. You see, fucktard had used that particular number during our marriage to sign up for Adult Friend Finder, and later, on dating sites (google voice).

So i got the following responses:

FT: yeah

Crickets from me, then:

FT: i have had this number and mine for a while.

Crickets from me, then:

FT: we can't get texts or calls in the building so i got this number so it can ring back to the phone in my pocket.

Um, you don't get texts or calls but you got the number so it can ring back to your pocket? And we have been texting for a zillion years while you were at work? Try again, asshole. More like, you were on a texting spree at work on company time , or your current girlfriend goes through your phone, and you forgot to whom you were sending a text.

Maddeningly hilarious

[This message edited by veritas at 9:14 PM, May 31st (Thursday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay, cg!! Once you get that thing all filed, get a wage assignment for the support payments. Then you no longer have to ask about when you'll be getting it. I'm so glad I did this. He was less than thrilled....


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7635 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes, wb, wage garnishment is coming. But like EVERYTHING it is going to take a "few months." In the meantime, he is expected to follow the court order. And I am expected to "keep good records" of the arrearages.

I am feeling a bit giddy, my friends...


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5307 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, May 31st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am feeling a bit giddy, my friends...

As you should be.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7635 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 4:17 AM, June 1st (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

v, a little sharpie make-up job might help the eyes?
Happy for you cg!
It's feeling like a party round here lately, with all the woozy, giddy wimmenz.
Think I'll stay...

Posts: 6027 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 4:30 AM, June 1st (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey everybody!!

Wow!! So much has been happening. OMG, that zebra duck and the little eaglet had me really

2_4giving4_2long
Everything will be ok. I understand your fear. And it is especially frustrating when nobody IRL understands what you are dealing with. Stay strong and keep moving forward. Remember what Winston Churchill once said. "When you're going through hell, keep going." This is especially true when dealing with an NPD. Keep posting. We will be here for support.

Wanttobeloved
Part of NPD is pathalogical lying. So trust your gut. Don't believe his words. BTW, what is it with NPD's and porn?

Exhausted Lady, Edie, Jpapageorge and SVB
It's amazing the progress you have all made. The insight you are all providing now is so spot on. You've come a LONG WAY!!

Wifeno2
Welcome!
I think in the beginning of realization most of us had the same reaction as you. "Is there any way to stay?" but that is just more of what you've been doing all along....appeasing him and doing everything possible to keep him from making your life miserable.

But realistically, the answer is no unless you want to live out your life as a doormat. If that was ok with you, you wouldn't be here now. Know what I mean?

Surrender
Welcome! Reading your post reminds me of my XNPDH. The rules only applied to ME. He could do whatever he wanted. lol.

You already know what's going on. You know he's lying to you and gas lighting you. You just have to decide weather you're going to buy into his BS or not. Detach and pay more attention to his actions. His words are lies.

Veritas
You are cracking me up!

J
As usual, your presence here brings a smile to my face.

Caregiver9000
That is such good news!! Can you believe it?! YAY!!!

SVB
Wow. One more thing to check off on the NPD check list. I'm so sorry. I remember that gut punch too. Mine put on like his X had cheated on him, blah, blah blah....he's the forever victim. Gag! Turns out he was the cheater, the abuser, the complete CREEP.

It's so mind boggling, isn't it? How they can be such masters of disguise and masters of manipulation.

Woundedby2
Hey! How are you doing? Good to "see" you.

SoHurt
Is that really you? REALLY?? Wow! You are an amazing woman.

I cannot tell you how PROUD I am of you. You have gone from paralyzed from fear to "I am woman hear me roar!" in such a short time. You sound stronger, more sure of yourself and I think I even hear some *spunk* in some of your posts. I am just LOVING that!!

Watching your transformation has been amazing. And the transfer of power and control in the relationship is just astonishing. The stronger you have gotten, the more he just seems to have shriveled up.

Keep on keeping on. You are on the right path and soon you will be completely NPD free.

Big hugs and prayers to the tribe. My apologies if I left anyone out. You are all in my thoughts and prayers!


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
soverybetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, June 1st (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tribe, we need to have a party with some libations. It is truly a great day for all of us as we have seen the light and are moving away from hell and darkness. Each day away from the NPD brings hope of a normal stress free, drama free life.

Jpapa, I am sure that you are fine looking and have a lot of wisdom to share. We all need to meet in Vegas and party to our freedom from the depths of hell.

Congrats Caregiver, I knew you could do the cool calm and collected thing to get those papers. Now just keep playing the docile lady and he will think he has you where he wants you till you hit him upside the head with the next item.

ThoughtIknewya, I was almost positive that he was a serial cheater but I just needed that confirmation so that I can give it to my attorney and have it brought out in court. I feel bad for her for the way he treated her but happy that I have my proof.

2_4giving, I just wanted to tell you that it took me 3 tries to leave my stbx. Each time I tried to leave he would pour on the loving dovey crap and suck me back in and he played on my fears of how can I make it on my own. He tried to pull the same thing this last time but I was so f'n done that I didn't care if I ended up with nothing but a suitcase of clothes living in a shelter, it would be better than living in fear of my life. Just know that we have all been there and are here for you. It will be hard to walk away until the day comes when you can see that leaving is so much better than staying. hugs sweetie.

sadtoo...thank you for all your kinds words to everyone. Yes, we have all gotten stronger the longer we are away from CRAZYVILLE. We may slip and slide from time to time but we will get to acceptance and happiness eventually.

Wished we could all schedule a meet someplace and really have an non NPD party. That would be a blast. Well, it is five o'clock somewhere so everyone have a virtual drink of choice!!


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1194 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Being an AWESOME ME!
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