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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread part 10
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, July 16th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I was able to send him a FB friend request. We'll see if that gets intercepted.

Surely they wouldn't go to the trouble of signing up here and tracking my posts 39 pages deep on this thread, right?? Am I being paranoid??


Posts: 10973 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: North Carolina
2_4giving4_2long
♀ Member
Member # 34008
Default  Posted: 2:59 AM, July 19th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why do the courts give in to these nuts?

So I was granted the house during the seperation. Well. NPD had a fit and LIED! So the Judge signed the agrreement, that states " Neither party will make the Mortuage Payment" REALLY???

I asked my lawyer and she said that his lack of financials details is why the judge signed it.

Sooooo apparently, I will be kicked out after the bank foreclose. I just recieved a letter from the bank and he had not paid over 3 months. Before we went to court.

So I give up. Fuck it. I am so sick of this sick fuck. There's no legal recouse for me. It's just another NPD win.

Now, he is trying to "Save the house" if I let him move back in. HE ruined my credit. He's giving back all properies to the bank. He makes a lot more than the bills, but yet he's always broke. HMMMM. Maybe the strip joint is getting too much fun.

I guess I just need to know I will be okay. I am going through so much besides this idiot and his messed up cruel NPD shit.

My family LOVES him so "it must be you." What family would say that to their own sister? My kids are seeing how messed up their NPD dad is, but that brings another level of pain because they want to believe him, but time after time he'sshows what his true colors are.

I have no idea what I am even asking here. I feel like giving up. I am just not able to keep this bullshit up. He is relentless at trying anything and everything.

I don't know what I'm even trying to say. I lost hope. I don't care. I will stay in this house until the bank throws me out and save money to leave this fuckin shithole community. The "rule" is move 2 states away I think applies here.


Me 52
He 49
DDay 11/06/11
Married 23 years
2 adult children.

Posts: 159 | Registered: Nov 2011
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 3:18 AM, July 19th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2_4, you need to have your lawyer tell someone/anyone/everyone that the POS didn't make the payments before the order. I'm no legal expert by any stretch but that seems to violate the original order.

Keep your head up, you know he is going to get nasty and spend all the money he may or may not have left just to try to hurt you.

Keep fighting for you and your kids. He is counting on you giving up, don't let him win. Evil never quits so the righteous must always fight on.

Hang in there.

Jp


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1656 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
2_4giving4_2long
♀ Member
Member # 34008
Default  Posted: 4:24 AM, July 19th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks but I'm so tired. He just doesn't stop.


Me 52
He 49
DDay 11/06/11
Married 23 years
2 adult children.

Posts: 159 | Registered: Nov 2011
hemademesingle
♀ Member
Member # 21281
Default  Posted: 6:17 AM, July 19th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear you 2_4, I'm in the same boat as you, looking for the life raft.

Keep that big picture of freedom from the craziness, just keep the thought of how great your life is going to be once your fully free no more walking on eggshells, happy home with lots of laughter and full of love

Your children will eventually see your x for what and who he is, mine thought dumbass was wonderful before 2005,not so much after that, I still have the letters that my kids wrote their dad in 2005 begging him to get help for his emotional ourbursts,he never would, everyone else had a problem, but him

There is a happy life waiting for you, just like there is a happy life for all of us that are trying to escape the craziness

Keep that dream alive a future with a partner that treats you the way you deserve, is good with your children it's out there that dream, when things are hard just escape to that place for a few minutes give yourself the strength to fight for your future fight for your happiness and the happiness of your children

For years I knew that dumbass's behaviors were kinda off until I saw the effects on my kids I never stood up

Keep that big picture, pull the strength from your gut you can do it,


Posts: 361 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Canada
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, July 19th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey there, 2_4. (((((2_4))))) First, let me say that I understand 10000000% wanting to give up. Been there, done that. I get it, hon... I really, really do.

But you have to keep going, and fight for your kids, like Jp and HMMS said. It's a tough battle, and it's going to be hard; you have to do what needs to be done for yourself and your kids. I'd agree with the recommendation to talk to your lawyer about this, and show that he's not kept the payments up. Keep going.

One saying I've heard here is: Once you start walking through Hell, keep going! When you get tired, take some down time and then get up and go some more.

It has been very difficult at times for me to keep that ball rolling. What is most important, though, is that I'm doing it, regardless of what he throws at me. I've been tired, and wanted to give up so many times I can't count them. But people pick me back up, and I keep going. I haven't even got my D papers filed yet, because it's been so hard to want to fight. But every time I look at my sons, DIL and grandchild, I know why I'm doing it.

Keep going, honey... keep going. It WILL end, and it WILL be worth it. I promise. Just keep going.


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
PhoenixRisen
Member
Member # 35912
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, July 19th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know that feeling on so many levels

I hum to myself.

just keep swimming, swimming swimming... just keep swimming swimming swimming


Posts: 413 | Registered: Jun 2012
Dawn4
♀ Member
Member # 34073
Default  Posted: 1:55 AM, July 22nd (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

P.R. - ME TOO!!! I love that quote. And really...that's all there is to it. Just keep going! One foot in front of the other. One small step at a time. (or swimming.... ) It's like running a marathon. You can't do it all at once. You have to start at the beginning. And that's the hardest part, because it seems you have soooo much in front of you. But you get going, one step at a time. And when you cross the finish line? Pure relief. Elation! Pride in yourself.

I also think of it like this. I'm walking through a desert, my children and I have little, we're hungry. But we do it to get to a better place, where we can sleep and eat and have peace. But first we have to starve a little, and walk thru that hot desert. There is no other way.
So some days I think " why does he get to just go on with life?" , "why does he get to keep all his money ?", "how will I care for my kids without childsupport?". And I think....I just have to let it go. I have to let go of the money, of the stability, of being able to do the things I used to do. Then , if I can convince myself I will be ok , and it's alright to just let it go, because it is NOT ME, I feel better. More at ease. I am not a house. I am not a fancy car. I am not my monthly income. I will be fine if I let it go. I will figure it out. Tell yourself these things!! Then......just keep swimming......


" You must always know how long to stay and when to go." - Let Him Fly, The Dixie Chicks

"This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before". - Beavis and Butthead

Posts: 669 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Canada
2_4giving4_2long
♀ Member
Member # 34008
Default  Posted: 8:04 AM, July 22nd (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks ((Tribe))

I just don't understand our court system. I feel like crap. I am so tired. I know I have to keep on keeping on.

I also know it's fear. A lot of fears. He knows too, that I am a person who needs stability. SO I will let it go.

Thanks again for the words of wisdom and encouragement. I feel alone, but never here


Me 52
He 49
DDay 11/06/11
Married 23 years
2 adult children.

Posts: 159 | Registered: Nov 2011
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 12:02 AM, July 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everytime I don't bow down to my stbx pleas, he reaches out and punishes me financially. The only control he has left. He has done as he pleases through the whole divorce proceedings. Now right before we go to court, he quits his job, one last punishment for not wanting him back after all the emotional abuse he has put me through.

I don't have any faith in the legal system, they haven't stopped him yet. It is what it is, and he will always be a liar, cheat, manipulator, and nasty person. I am so glad I am almost out.


Posts: 2079 | Registered: Mar 2011
wontdefineme
♀ Member
Member # 31421
Default  Posted: 12:02 AM, July 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Double post

[This message edited by wontdefineme at 12:03 AM, July 23rd (Monday)]


Posts: 2079 | Registered: Mar 2011
hemademesingle
♀ Member
Member # 21281
Default  Posted: 7:11 AM, July 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so with you on the discouragement of the courts, it seems that they have all the power

I too get punished financially, he has never paid the correct amount of support tries to control things by threats.

In April he was given 45 days to get financial papers in, he still has done nothing,

In my case dumbass thinks that rules don't pertain to him he hasn't filed his income tax since 2007,

I'm off the the bank today that holds our mortgage, the kids and I live in the house, well I found out last week that I can no longer access our mortgage account I like to access it every week and print off the account statement for my lawyer I shouldn't have to do this, but my little monster finally went to bank to have retirement funds split, since then I haven't been able to access my mortgage account

My little monster has done nothing to help move this divorce along, if anything he has drug his feet sent me a text a month ago that if I divorce him then I won't stand to get anything when he dies as if I would want to have to clean up his nasty mess that he has created

Freedom from the crazies is the ultimate goal


Posts: 361 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Canada
soverybetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, July 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well it is all over, I am divorced. It didn't take as long as expected due to the judge getting tired of hearing the fighting between the lawyers. It was fun to see my ex get angry when my lawyer was questioning him and catching him in lies. My lawyer got him all caught up by using today's testimony and the temp hearing testimony. EX started getting pissed off cause he couldn't prove that I could work.

The judge got to see the sicko pictures took of himself and posted on the internet and I do believe that he was disgusted by them. Of course ex lied about giving me an STD and tried to say that he didn't cheat on me but the judge wasn't having it.

I was awarded 100% of the 401k, he has to provide me with the Cobra information and give me the belongings that I left at the house. He is keeping the house and the new pension. I have 30 days to decide if I want to appeal for the permanent SS or not.

It is so funny but I feel like celebrating, I have been so stressed out that I haven't done anything but go to the doctors. I can finally stop stressing about this case and worrying what will happen. I just have one thing to clarify with my attorney and then I am free. My daughter thinks that the judge said there will be no more SS but I think he said that there will be no permanent SS. I need to know if I will continue to receive the SS for 24 months or if it stops today.

Thanks for the prayers and mojo everyone, it really helped. Plus I looked cute in my new dress that I bought for court. It was a 50's black and white polka dot swing dress with a black petticoat under it. I also had black and white polka dotted flats to go with it.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1194 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Being an AWESOME ME!
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, July 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, SVB IS FREE AT LAST!!!

I'm SO happy for you, girl! You take that polka dotted dress and shoes right out and celebrate! You've MORE than earned it!

(((((Hugs!)))))


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 11:29 PM, July 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats, svb! Go right ahead and celebrate - you deserve it.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7635 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
2_4giving4_2long
♀ Member
Member # 34008
Default  Posted: 4:45 AM, July 24th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats SVB!!!

I think SS stops that day in court. But I'm confused, (in a whole lotta ways ) but if you're not able to work, how can he not pay SS? At least until you get retrained or vocational rehab? I would appeal it.

Go celebrate, kick your feet up and BREATHE in and say, "I am freeeee" BREATHE out , "OF HIM"


Me 52
He 49
DDay 11/06/11
Married 23 years
2 adult children.

Posts: 159 | Registered: Nov 2011
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, July 24th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations So very Betrayed - congratulations on your courage, your humanity and your freedom. Wishing you a happy new life.

(Your court outfit sounds so great, I have a lovely image of you in my head.)

Hug


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
soverybetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, July 24th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys, it was a long hard haul but for the most part it is over. Funny thing is today I hit a wall and can't get out of bed. I am glad that the divorce is over but I still have to struggle to figure out how I am going to live on just my disability. I don't make enough to cover the bills with just my disability and there is no way that I can work at this time. Too many bad days to hold down a job.

I also have to wait for him to send me the Cobra papers so I can keep my insurance but he could try to screw me by not getting them to me before the 30 days is up. If he does that I will take him back to court. Oh and I found out that he has been cyberstalking me since December. They were going to present my posts from here in court but the judge didn't need to see them. He said that SSDI deemed me disabled so I am disabled. I am low on funds since I had to spend $800 just to get all my medical records which never were presented in court.

I know that I am free of all of his NPD crap and that is the best part. He was furious that the pictures were shown to the judge and because my attorney asked him if he was trying to say they were not him. He had to admit in court that he was the guy in the pictures in my underwear, nylons and night gown. He was so pissed off but then after court he tried to talk to me and I refused to hear him.

I am sure he thinks he is superior and won but I don't care since I no longer have to see his face. That is true freedom.

I pray that every one in this tribe get their freedom soon. We all deserve it.


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1194 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Being an AWESOME ME!
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, July 24th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He had to admit in court that he was the guy in the pictures in my underwear, nylons and night gown.

*giggles* tehe


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7635 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 12:05 AM, July 26th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm tired and my mind is whirling. I spent at least an hour reading on Borderline blogs and in a forum populated with diagnosed NPDs. Talk about mindfuckery! It didn't trigger me, but it did drain me. I will post more tomorrow when I have had time to process.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
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