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20/20 Hindsight: What I should have done when I J F O

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still confounded posted 4/2/2013 08:25 AM

Good advice, good perspective, especially for newcomers to SI who are dazed and confused and clinging to a leaking PFD.

still confounded posted 5/8/2013 08:31 AM

Bumping (again)

katherine41 posted 5/24/2013 03:56 AM

Swinging by and bumping.

still confounded posted 5/31/2013 08:47 AM


katherine41 posted 6/11/2013 01:25 AM


fraeuken posted 6/11/2013 01:30 AM

Ditto to every point. It is so hard to realize this when you are in the midst of everything but these points are so valid.

katherine41 posted 7/18/2013 22:52 PM

bump. It's still true.

hard_yards posted 7/24/2013 13:31 PM

bump for newbies

myperfectlife posted 7/24/2013 14:42 PM

wish I would have had this in April...

RoadtoPeace posted 7/25/2013 05:09 AM


Phoenix9 posted 7/27/2013 23:28 PM

Wow. Just wow. Being almost a year from DDay #2, I soooo wish I would have had access to this 6 years ago.

BUT! There's no time like the present, right?

HurtButHopeful? posted 7/29/2013 19:09 PM

bump for livebythesea

hard_yards posted 7/31/2013 15:10 PM


hard_yards posted 8/6/2013 03:42 AM


hard_yards posted 8/6/2013 22:30 PM

bumping to page one again

Joyless29 posted 8/6/2013 23:22 PM

Thank you for this wisdom. My WH says he is remorseful, but his actions say differently. He is tying to make me feel sorry for him and at some point it was working. I needed to hear this. I need to keep the course. Thank you.

still confounded posted 8/20/2013 20:17 PM

Bump for newcomers ...

katherine41 posted 9/16/2013 00:17 AM

It still holds true for me.

RRosemary posted 9/16/2013 08:08 AM

Great to read, thank you. I'm going through that 'but if I make him mad, he'll leave me' stuff, even though I'm considering leaving HIM - old habits die hard.

hard_yards posted 10/2/2013 22:19 PM


IDeserveMore posted 10/2/2013 22:36 PM

This is such a wonderful post. I hope it gets bumped often. So many could use it.

It make me sad I didn't find this or a site like this sooner. I only found out about these sites a few years ago.

My second DDay was 9 years ago. But I put up with TT and withholding for 5 years and so much damage has been done that for the rest of my life I will wish I had married someone else. So sad, like my user name - I deserve more

[This message edited by IDeserveMore at 10:37 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]

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