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Newest Member: Alaska77 (44743)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 20/20 Hindsight: What I should have done when I J F O
IDeserveMore
♀ Member
Member # 40460
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is such a wonderful post. I hope it gets bumped often. So many could use it.

It make me sad I didn't find this or a site like this sooner. I only found out about these sites a few years ago.

My second DDay was 9 years ago. But I put up with TT and withholding for 5 years and so much damage has been done that for the rest of my life I will wish I had married someone else. So sad, like my user name - I deserve more

[This message edited by IDeserveMore at 10:37 PM, October 2nd (Wednesday)]


Me BS 45, him 48, 15yo DD and 13yo DS
DD#1 1998, DD#2 2004
6 years of TT yields chronicity.
I may never get over it.

Posts: 69 | Registered: Aug 2013
hard_yards
♀ Member
Member # 23549
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, October 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump



I feel like I'm in a parallel universe... everything looks the same... but something's just not right...

Posts: 1236 | Registered: Apr 2009
Blackhair
♀ Member
Member # 39451
Default  Posted: 3:55 AM, October 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post!


M: 10 years
DD:5 DS Twin: 2 yrs old
DDay: Earlier 2013, WS flew/met many times with a Philippine girl found online (20 yrs younger)
SA finalized 6 months after DD. divorcing...
I am determined to fly even with broken wings and a broken heart!

Posts: 175 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Canada
hard_yards
♀ Member
Member # 23549
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, October 14th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump



I feel like I'm in a parallel universe... everything looks the same... but something's just not right...

Posts: 1236 | Registered: Apr 2009
Stronger4it
♀ New Member
Member # 39372
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me BS 46
Him WS 48
Together 18 yrs
Daughter 9
DD Nov 13/12
Today ?

Posts: 50 | Registered: May 2013
IndianDreams
♀ New Member
Member # 40991
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, October 16th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what is 'TT' please? I see it often but it's not in the abbreviations list

Also, would it not be an idea to 'pin' this post or include the list in the library so members don't go dizzy bumping it


It wasn't my fault; my bucket was broken
NC = no new hurts

Posts: 38 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: England
Truly
♀ Member
Member # 40715
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, October 17th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TT means Trickle Truth...when the truth trickles out over a period of days, weeks, months and ,let's face it, years.

Wanted to bumpety bump this awesome thread for some new newbies.

Take care out there x


There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast.
Charles Dickens


Posts: 257 | Registered: Sep 2013
katherine41
♀ Member
Member # 5792
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, November 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping

Posts: 8205 | Registered: Nov 2004
ICECOLD
♀ New Member
Member # 40258
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, November 23rd (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit."

"If you think the grass is greener, you're welcome to take a hike"

BS:47
WS:45
Kids

R: one foot in, and one foot out


Posts: 50 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Atlanta GA
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 5:59 PM, December 2nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 11607 | Registered: Mar 2008
Jesss
♀ Member
Member # 40333
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, December 3rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

THANK YOU for this. I feel like number 5 is truly what I needed to read, and will help me stay strong and know when my WH is truly remorseful.


BS: 31, WS: 35
4 kids between 2 and 7yrs old
DDAY 1: July 2013
DDAY 2: Sept 2013
DDAY 3: Oct 2013
DDAY 4: Feb 2014

Posts: 103 | Registered: Aug 2013
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, December 5th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4727 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
hard_yards
♀ Member
Member # 23549
Default  Posted: 4:26 PM, December 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump



I feel like I'm in a parallel universe... everything looks the same... but something's just not right...

Posts: 1236 | Registered: Apr 2009
katherine41
♀ Member
Member # 5792
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, December 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping

Posts: 8205 | Registered: Nov 2004
katherine41
♀ Member
Member # 5792
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, January 2nd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The 180 in a non-infidelity context (at least that the author knows): http://theweek.com/article/index/99512/he-said-he-was-leaving-she-ignored-him

Posts: 8205 | Registered: Nov 2004
Twitchy
♂ Member
Member # 25393
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


BH(me)-49, FWW-43,
D-Day #1 - Oct 2007 - On-Line EA leading to a failed rendez-vous
D-Day #2 - Nov 2008 - In person EA caught early.

Away you will go, sailing in a race among the ruins.
If you plan to face tomorrow, do it soon. Gordon Lightfoot


Posts: 622 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Ontario - Canada
BrooklynLove
♀ Member
Member # 41800
Shutup  Posted: 9:30 PM, January 16th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I had done this on my DDay 11/23/12. I ended up pregnant during HB and now have a 2 month old. Plus tonight while he was in the shower I tried the pass code that he gave me for his iPhone and it's not working. I can't even confront right now with no evidence. Sad, sad, and sad.


Will never be naive again...

BW - Me (28)
WH - Him my JH sweetheart (33)
Married - 8 years
2 babies - DD (3) and DD (5 months)
OW#1 - PA with classmate for 2 months
OW#2 - Some slut living oversees that needs a green card. EA & PA going on


Posts: 110 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: USA
RealityStinks
♂ Member
Member # 41457
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, January 30th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 414 | Registered: Nov 2013
still confounded
♀ Member
Member # 7826
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a long way past D-day, and it took a long time to finally recover from the trauma of betrayal/infidelity
And I still find that this 20/20 list is excellent advice for dealing with the chaos that follows D-day.

So bumping for just-found-out newcomers to SI.


"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.

Posts: 1291 | Registered: Aug 2005 | From: up the river, NY
alifeforesaken
♀ Member
Member # 41139
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, February 10th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't believe I have ever seen this thread. I wish I had. I think there is some great advice in there that I am just now starting to realize, accept and implement. I'm not that far out so I'm hoping it's not too late for some of it.


BW (31)
WH (32)
Children (1yr) (1 due Mar '14)
DD#1 - 9/28/13 DD#2 11/24/13

Posts: 84 | Registered: Oct 2013
Topic Posts: 162
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9

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