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The Book Club Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 50 Shades of Grey
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, May 18th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWIW the 2nd book picks up just after the first 1/4.

It's crappy writing fo sho, but it is entertaining as hell!


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, May 19th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just curious....
Is BD S&M really mainstream now?
I'm surprised that so many BS would not be upset by it.
For me it is a huge trigger because that is how the MOW kept the LTA going.
She kept ramping things up with more and more kinky stuff.
So...when I heard all of the new stories about the popularity of this series it made me shake my head in wonder.
I just don't 'get' how anyone would find pain erotic?


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3163 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, May 19th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

njgal,

I totally get what you're saying. But many people incorporate variations of BDSM in their lifestyle every day and don't realize that that's exactly what it is. Blindfolds, handcuffs, biting, hair tugging, scratching, it's all elements (albeit mild ones) of BDSM.

I wonder if it's not so much the BDSM element but the fact it's "safe porn" for the average person. People might feel dirty picking up Letters to Penthouse, but won't think twice about picking up a steamy novel on the Bestseller list.

Sorry for the t/j


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne


Posts: 6314 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
helpemegetoverit
♀ Member
Member # 30242
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, May 20th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aubrie, I am with you on this one. As someone ok with and who likes a bit of S&M (light, no 'safe word' needed type stuff ) there is plenty out there withouth having to read something poorly written. I have heard the same thing...this has become a best seller because of the content but the writing is not good. Even those I know who read it and liked it admitted that to me.

My sister said it made her frustrated with her husband sexually while reading it too (someone above mentioned that). I doubt it will do that to me but I remember friends saying that about Twilight also (another thing I never bothered reading).

But, after all of that, curiosity just may kill the cat since someone gave me their copy...I have yet to pick it up but now that I have seen 20/20 episodes on it and everyone seems to have read it, I may pick it up eventually.


Me: WW
Him: BH

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you."
John Green


Posts: 882 | Registered: Nov 2010
fourever
♀ Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, May 21st (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ladies (and Gents), read it. It's not a classic, just for fun.
And let's just say, that maybe.
my FWH put a silver tie under his pillow the other night.
Yahoo!

Now, back to that reading list I saw a page or two ago......


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 877 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
stroppy_wanadoo
♀ Member
Member # 11224
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, May 21st (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

These books irritated me. The characters were irritating, the story line was irritating, the writing was irritating... make that abysmal.

I read the first two and am irritated that I spend money to buy these on my Nook. Won't get the third.

Can you tell I didn't like them?


Posts: 1037 | Registered: Jul 2006
ladyvorkosigan
♀ Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, May 21st (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is BD S&M really mainstream now?
Well, first, I have actually seen many hipper-than-thou online BDSM folks whinging about the inauthenticity of the "BDSM" in this book, so someone who considers themselves Of The Scene would not consider this book to be properly about BDSM at all. And they're right, but just like some historical romance novel cares a lot about pretty clothes and ignores the poor dental hygiene that exists pretty much in every place and time that is not here and now because it is first and foremost a *romance* novel, this is also a romance novel, so of course real people who are really at some club are probably not wearing five inch heeled boots and are actually probably wearing really boring black flats because they have to stand up a lot and folks actually do tend to think about comfort more than costume if they're all into that sort of thing.

But as far as BDSM being mainstream, stuff that used to really be considered fetish wear is pretty mainstream now (or versions of it) and I think everyone knows terms like safeword, tops and bottoms (which in BDSM terms is not at all about throwing and catching), etc.

And honestly, in my experience in the BDSM romance subgenre, there's hardly any focus on pain whatsoever. It's mostly elided, just like body odor in historicals. That is why sometimes I read something where someone's about to haul out the single tail and...now I've never dealt with that and never would, but I guarantee you that if somebody whipped you with one it'd fucking hurt. But in the BDSM romance novels I've read that is basically ignored and it might as well be a playful spanking. It's times like those that reading e-books is frustrating because you can't just fling them across the room in disgust. Anyway. I do not find pain erotic *at all*, personally, so since there's really no acknowledgment of pain in books like that I can manage to get through them.

my FWH put a silver tie under his pillow the other night.
That's so cute.

Umm, how is somebody going to get sexually frustrated with her husband because of Twilight? Because he doesn't want to not have sex with her enough?

You know really, the thing that I think is going on with both of those books is that the guy feels protective. The rest doesn't matter. The guy is focused on the girl, singularly so, and is extremely protective. I'll have to use Twilight for this because I can't remember what happened in 50 Shades but as acknowledged it's the same thing. So, scenario: a vampire pushes you out of the way of a speeding car, thus saving your life. Now, we know a few things about this guy. First, he spent several points in Celerity. Second, he's paying fucking attention. To "you"/her. He was paying attention, noticed you were about to get flattened, and saved you. We also find out that sometimes he sneaks into our room and watches us while we sleep. Creepy? Yes. But it also means *he's paying attention* and *he's protective*. The vast majority of romance novels play on these two themes in some way. Somebody who doesn't even notice other women exist. Somebody who wants to take care of you. The way those things play out...covers a wide range of actions, some that are legitimately disturbing and some that are just very sweet, but this book is exactly the same. Hero maintains laser-like focus on heroine. Hero performs his version of "being protective." How he chooses to do those things are the differentiators and are not always going to be to everyone's taste, but the hero is pretty much always going to cover those bases.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 11:50 AM, May 21st (Monday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14226 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
ladyvorkosigan
♀ Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, May 22nd (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. http://realityrewind.com/50-shades-of-grey-is-ryan-seacrests-new-obsession-353663/

I love Sprinkles so much. I love Sprinkles like I love Justin Timberlake. Earnest with a strong work ethic.

2. Have we discussed the tampon thing yet? I had forgotten about the tampon thing.

3.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 10:52 AM, May 22nd (Tuesday)]


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14226 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
stupidstupidme
♀ Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have had several people tell me I have to read these... I am definitely curious.

Would someone mind telling me what the BDSM parts include, and more specifically - why people in that community would think it isn't accurate?

I also read a couple reviews, and opinions online - one saying something about enjoying the fantasy/romantic part, but not letting it take us backwards (I guess as far as women and equality). I COMPLETELY disagree with this statement. I think that anyone that CHOOSES this lifestyle is embracing something about themselves that isn't the social "norm" and to me, that is (individual) PROGRESS. IDK... just my opinion.

The other comment was that most of the draw is the romantic love between the two characters and not so much the sex. Curious about that too, since I haven't read any of them.


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19732 | Registered: Aug 2006
ladyvorkosigan
♀ Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

why people in that community would think it isn't accurate?
Because BDSM hipsters are the worst.

This is a good article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/50-shades-of-grey_b_1441008.html


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14226 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
imstillangry
♀ Member
Member # 30154
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really liked this book. Want to read the other 2. I would say it has a lot of fantasy elements to it, but the characters seem to think through what they are doing. They seem to take a mature approach, but of course the heart always has it's say.

Posts: 456 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: Florida
Exit Wounds
♀ Member
Member # 32811
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heard on the radio today that this is about to be banned in some libraries.

What is wrong with people? What now we are not "old enough" to be allowed to read smut?


Posts: 2486 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: With my dad...and my dog...
hurts2damnmuch
New Member
Member # 35465
Default  Posted: 8:07 PM, May 23rd (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sounds like Brad Easton Ellis novel gone awry.

Posts: 36 | Registered: Apr 2012
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, June 7th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was trying to avoid reading this but EVERY WOMAN THAT I AM FRIENDS WITH has now oohed and ahhed over it enough, and they are completely when I say I haven't picked them up.....

That I now feel like I have
to.

eta: I can't spell

[This message edited by itainteasy at 2:01 PM, June 7th (Thursday)]


Posts: 3419 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, June 7th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Itainteasy- that is exactly why I read the first one.
ANNOYING is the right word for it. I had it on my nook or I would have just skipped through 3/4ths of it. (that is annoying to do on the nook). I thought I didn't get the complete download because it ended so badly. Horrible writing IMO. Shallow characters.

I'd rather read Penthouse if I want erotica. At least there I wouldn't expect it to be best seller material.

Also, like LadyV- pain is not my thing, so any reference to it killed any mood I might have gotten from it.

The protective angle- interesting because in many ways the relationship reminded me of an old flame. Not in any of the descriptive sexual practices, but more the attentive protective manner which he approaches sex with her.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, June 7th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really liked The Sleeping Beauty series by Anne Rampling (Anne Rice) for erotica.

I will give this a try...I don't think I'll enjoy it though.


Posts: 3419 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
ladyvorkosigan
♀ Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, June 7th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/ny_gals_learning_the_ropes_at_fifty_sVWWKeksj9WKUto2ITg1KK#ixzz1x6rmMuUs

LOL

Somebody is missing the marketing opportunity here if they don't create a line of branded# 50 Shades bondage toys.

# Hurr


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14226 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, June 10th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My gf lent it to me. I wasn't going to read it as I suspect I will have the same response to it that I had with that teen vampire story that other loved but I thought was lame. My SO saw it on my bedside table last night and knew all about it. He hadn't read it but he heard it described as chick porn. I'll give it a try. You all made me curious.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5862 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
HappilyUnMarried
♀ Member
Member # 21299
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, June 10th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read all 3. Horrible writing. I thought the lead woman character was a little whiny, spoiled brat. I dislike her.

But, I kept reading anyway.

To me it's a fantasy. Who wouldn't want to be the love object of Christian Gray? Total fairhful... Cherishing... Protecting... My XH was the opposite of CG. Not realistic... But are fantasies always realistic?

Ps. The new guy I am dating is going to read the series. I think it will be fun to talk about it with him!

[This message edited by HappilyUnMarried at 8:25 PM, June 10th (Sunday)]


True happiness comes from within, not from someone else.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on someone or something to come along and make you happy

Posts: 1291 | Registered: Oct 2008
ladyvorkosigan
♀ Member
Member # 8283
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, June 11th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Harhar:

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20602902,00.html

"Broadway celebrated itself Sunday night – and crowned Once and playwright Bruce Norris's Clybourne Park as the season's best musical and drama, in a star-studded evening that third-time host Neil Patrick Harris called "the 66th annual Tony Awards, or, as we like to call it, Fifty Shades of Gay.""


It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

Posts: 14226 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: Florida
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