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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men- Part 8
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, June 21st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never had sex with a woman I wasn't in love with, and never would/could
Maybe our WW like when men are bad boys. Those that would do that. And when we detach and are ready to move on suddenly we are attractive again.

same here, only now I realize just how dumb that was-if I had it to do all over I'd do any girl that would stay still long enough. Man, I wasted a lot of years in high school.

I feel a large part of the problem is the fact I didn't shop around enough. I read a psych guy article which claimed you needed to have 12 real relationships before ever getting M. I'm about 10 shy, so I am here now.

I chose poorly from a severely limited number of women.

And since detachment, she is all over me, gushing about how great I am, etc etc-just the other day was telling me how I was better than her sister's ex, because when things "got rough I stuck around".
She cheated on me after two kids/8 yrs of M, with no surviving grandparents for the kids. Her sister's ex was a crack addict who lived with his wife and kids in her parent's house, when he left he knew grampa & gramma would see the kids raised, and they did.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
lostcause111
♂ Member
Member # 19109
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, June 21st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The irony of detachment and things getting somewhat better is it is too late.

By the time I detached I gave up.


Posts: 934 | Registered: Apr 2008
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, June 21st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same here lost, and she doesn't understand why I don't reciprocate all her love and affection now.

Where was all this when I needed it?


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Mypoorboys
♂ Member
Member # 33169
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, June 21st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My Two Cents,
I may be wrong, but my feeling is that our WWsluts/Tramps, whatever niceties you want to refer to them as, are basically, 'Sociopaths'. Look it up.
They manage to always justify their behavior in some convoluted manner and usually have very little regard for the feelings of others, sometimes manipulate others to get what they desire, ie. they don't have the same range of feelings that others have. 'Because they cannot relate to others, they have no trouble lying or violating the rights of other people in order to achieve their goals'. Some are actually very charming.Right!
That puts the nail right on the head of my soon to be EX!
So, what I'm trying to say to all out there is, don't let your guard down! Chances are, if these sociopaths are in remission, chances are they are either hiding it or are soon to be back in the saddle again, (of course, not yours, someone else's saddle).
MPBs
PS - My Psychologist this week asked me once I'm physically away from my Wslut, can I be civil toward her?
Well, my answer, 'as soon as she is out of my sight and physically removed from my world, I will not hesitate to Blast her with everything I've been holding in for the past 23 months, plus fire a couple of poignant salvos at her low life, degenerate parents as well'!!
Psychologist's remark, 'well if it will make you feel better'. Huh! lol.

Posts: 176 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: New Brunswick, New Jersey
lostcause111
♂ Member
Member # 19109
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, June 21st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hard row to sow at some levels huh fleet?

But we see the kids everyday.

And sometimes I thinking wincing is right with the heal yourself part of this. And I am healed as much as I will be while remaining with her.

Our real problem IMHO is part two is missing.

Their is no evidence that my wife has changed one bit on the inside.


Posts: 934 | Registered: Apr 2008
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 1:14 PM, June 21st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well, my kids are better off-she's been sober 4 yrs now, a much better mother to them than before, and I see them everyday. I fathered these kids and it is about them now, not me. I'm OK.

I thought a while mine was sociopath, but she doesn't meet the criteria.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5359 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, June 21st (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe our WW like when men are bad boys. Those that would do that. And when we detach and are ready to move on suddenly we are attractive again.

Not a maybe. MPBs got it nailed.


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
SerJR
♂ Member
Member # 14993
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, June 23rd (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've always found it interesting how many confuse the "bad boy" with being the oh-so-desirable alpha-male.

I'm sorry, but some guy who lies, cheats, can't productively contribute, puts his selfish desires above the wellbeing of others, and looks for scraps from others is your textbook omega - the lowest of the low.

I have no idea how these two get confused. I suspect it may be related to something similar to KISA syndrome - where the bad boy is romantically painted as the brooding individual who is a hard person from a hard life who may just open his heart to the right woman. Just a bunch of romanticised bullshit.


Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.

Posts: 17093 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Further North than South
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, June 23rd (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Amen ser! Couldn't agree more. My brother spent his life preying on women who believed they could fix him and be what he needed. All a fantasized buch of crap. He was a bad boy because he was a low life selfish dirt bag.

[This message edited by lordhasaplan? at 7:54 AM, June 25th (Monday)]


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1796 | Registered: Nov 2010
Mypoorboys
♂ Member
Member # 33169
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, June 25th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talked to the legal secretary this morning and she told me that the judge has mailed his oral decision to the respective lawyer offices. She found this to be very unusual, especially for my judge, but the soon to be ex! is away with my kids on vacation. I will read the decision and please pray that it is in the best interest for my boys and I.
Keep you all posted.
MPBs

Posts: 176 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: New Brunswick, New Jersey
dday3302011
♂ Member
Member # 32043
Default  Posted: 1:26 PM, June 25th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good luck MPB. Thinking of you and wishing you well.


BH-41 (me)
xWW-42
M 11yrs, together 14
DDay 3-30-2011
2 kids, 9 & 7
1 yr LTA w/MOM
Divorced 5-16-2013

Posts: 235 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Northeast
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, June 25th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

prayers for you tonight MPB.
Good luck.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2384 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
nuance
♂ Member
Member # 28793
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, June 25th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I'm sorry, but some guy who lies, cheats, can't productively contribute, puts his selfish desires above the wellbeing of others, and looks for scraps from others is your textbook omega - the lowest of the low.

I have no idea how these two get confused. I suspect it may be related to something similar to KISA syndrome - where the bad boy is romantically painted as the brooding individual who is a hard person from a hard life who may just open his heart to the right woman. Just a bunch of romanticised bullshit.

I believe in a biological explanation for it. In short these men tend to inseminate many females and have more children than men that have only one partner. Women would want a mix of our babies and theirs. For the long story see the book "sperm wars".

My wife betrayed me a couple of months after she stopped taking the pill so we could try to have our first child.


Dday May 2000. R'ed.
People suck.

Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: California
wert
♂ Member
Member # 34478
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, June 26th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anyone heard from Wonderboy? I have been thinking about him a lot lately.



Posts: 1364 | Registered: Jan 2012
DWBH
♂ Member
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, June 26th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

removed... duplicate post.

[This message edited by DWBH at 11:39 AM, June 26th (Tuesday)]


Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
Eneseye
♀ New Member
Member # 35759
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, June 26th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MPB and his boys}}}}}}}


Me 30 (WW/BW/OW in H's previous M)
Him 37 (WH/BH) - noescape
Married 9 years
4 little ones

Posts: 49 | Registered: Jun 2012
dday3302011
♂ Member
Member # 32043
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, June 26th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't heard from Wonderboy. Hope he's doing well.

Noescape, you posting as a woman now?


BH-41 (me)
xWW-42
M 11yrs, together 14
DDay 3-30-2011
2 kids, 9 & 7
1 yr LTA w/MOM
Divorced 5-16-2013

Posts: 235 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Northeast
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, June 26th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jedi side hug strikes again.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7101 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Eneseye
♀ New Member
Member # 35759
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, June 26th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Side hugs bro. Just side hugs.


Me 30 (WW/BW/OW in H's previous M)
Him 37 (WH/BH) - noescape
Married 9 years
4 little ones

Posts: 49 | Registered: Jun 2012
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Happy  Posted: 3:46 PM, June 26th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh shit. Just noticed. Sorry, I didn't log out the W while posting.

Sorry for the confusion guys!!!


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
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