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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men- Part 8
wert
♂ Member
Member # 34478
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, July 27th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm happy with the narrative I constructed

Nicely said. Simply put, I have built my own reality around this shit. Fuck her and the horse she road.

Numb&Dumb - Thank you again. When I was all whinny and beat down you helped. You just helped me again by having WAL put a nail in it for me.

I agree. Go have fun this weekend... More importantly, for the rest of your life.

You want to know what I think is really the damage done by infidelity? The fucking time wasted talking about it. Yes pain needs to be felt and expressed (in many ways) but at the end of the day fuck 'em all.

later.



Posts: 1364 | Registered: Jan 2012
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 5:52 AM, July 28th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CAnnon,

That's nice that she wants to wait. What do you want? What has she done to make sure there are no more melt downs? What has she done about the horrible things she's said to you?


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 35371 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, July 28th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm happy with the narrative I constructed

Not happy with it, but accepting of it... nuances. What I HAVE to be happy with is the narrative I construct for my future, which is a work in progress.

The fucking time wasted talking about it

and thinking about it and obsessing about it and all the other wasted fucking "research" which points to only one fact: IT HAPPENED; all other "truisms" are, as put in aesirs tag: your mileage may vary.

Funny how WALs latest description of the 2.5-3 year timeline (and misaligned timelines with his W) is vaguely familiar (as in, I feel I am reliving that narrative)... but then, isn't there a sickening similarity in all of our stories?

...which always brings me back to-its NEVER unique nor "different" (and all her protestations to the contrary are infeasible); and the fact that the WS wasn't kicked out on the curb on DDay #1 is acquiesce to the status quo that some form of R will (HAVE to) be worked out, compromises et al and the best to hope/work for is your own happiness (income) and some form of retribution/equilibrium. Healing be damned.


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, July 28th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope y'all are fishin, drinkin a (local, fresh brew), FUCK TECATE, and enjoying some down time.

Tred, aka "the little guy who is good at exactly one fucking thing, but he's got a lot of heart and the rest of the guys pity him and keep him around." Pity at first maybe, but there'll be a scene where we all realize..."Hey, we need this guy to pull this stuff off!"
You got the part.

I'm having a lot of chuckles playing with this idea.
We can have @ a dozen or so *iconic characters*...and play it like a caper movie...with lots of surprise twists & quirky outcomes...somehow always getting the villains (more than one villain! - now there's a seldom-used idea), to, say...out themselves through our clever machinations. In one, it's publicly, on live TV (mbp's DA & accomplice).
Other sweet, eminently satisfying endings ensue...many including frog marches and perp walks.
Each member gets *the marble* when 'his' goes down.

We got the role of genius covered 2.0 times lol! When we hit an impasse in planning sessions, and they walk in and say..."Why not look at it this way?" And all the rest exchange silent, surprised, knowing looks at each other...and the moviegoers know it's game on!

Is it just me maybe? But all my absolute favorite parts of movies (actioner, war, scifi, fantasy) are always about planning that *tactical surprise*. Carrying it out is fun too - the special effects stuff. But when they spend a lot of reel on the planning session itself, it's cool. I feel like I'm "in on it". Heck, even in history, you got Alexander surprising Darius to death!

We got the hulking big guy, who shows up at the first meeting with an arsenal, barely able to speak beyond unintelligible, raging banshee grunts...(multiple marbles-to-be for him),
and turns out to be suave, sophisticated, gentle, eloquent, and clever (AND, quite a hit with the ladies...who we will be using in abundance! - as decoys, bait...to set the villain up).

One guy gets the marble AND the W back. Maybe the ending, cuz, you know, it's *sweet* (& we do want the wimmenz box-office dollars doncha know!). Final scene, he tosses it out, ala the jewel in Titanic...maybe more like Ruth Gordon and the ring in Harold and Maude...more of a man-throw, like, over the Grand Canyon or something.
Followed by the rest of the guys, standing there, exchanging knowing looks, and throwing theirs!

It'll have Italian Job, without the fancy hardware cuz we're more macgyverish, with funny bumbles - (did you guys see the canned unicorn meat on that geek site? *comes with sparkles* LMAO!)
meets
Mission Impossible
meets
Oceans (whatever)
meets
Benny Hill ? Monty Python? Support Your Local Sheriff? MMMM World?

We'll figure it out.


Posts: 6028 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Medic17
♂ Member
Member # 12832
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, July 28th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stress relief
Going to the range this afternoon to vent some agression. 2000 rounds of 30 cal and 750 of .223 should help a lot


Piece of mind is slowly becoming a 4" grouping at 600 yards

Posts: 381 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: NC
Medic17
♂ Member
Member # 12832
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, July 28th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jjct, i can be the hulking big guy with the arsenal....lmao will have to work on my raging grunts tho


Piece of mind is slowly becoming a 4" grouping at 600 yards

Posts: 381 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: NC
wert
♂ Member
Member # 34478
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, July 28th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Funny how WALs latest description of the 2.5-3 year timeline

Funny..ummm

My timeline is just accelerated. I for one am happy my W is breaking down with all her shit. I don't think I would let her stay if she wasn't. I don't want it like that forever, but I wouldn't believe her at all if she wasn't breaking down and crying once a week.

I am not healed, whatever the fuck that means, but I am much better off than she is.

I had always said that I was going to work through things hard and fast and if she was to make any real change and we were going to make it she was going to be a long drawn out process. That seems to be playing out...sucks to be right.

Agreed on the local fresh brew, think I will go have one...its noon somewhere...



Posts: 1364 | Registered: Jan 2012
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, July 28th (Saturday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Final scene, he tosses it out, ala the jewel in Titanic...more of a man-throw, like, over the Grand Canyon or something.

Prefer throws into a raging volcano like the LOTR ending (maybe even have a gollum like OM snatch his marbles back and trip into the fiery abyss... preciousssssss... taking an unremorseful W with him mayhaps?)

Could do well with a Gimli like war axe welding bro chopping off marbles complemented by a legolas like long range shooter.


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, July 29th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn Medic, you know how to make a guy jealous. I'll have to be satisfied hitting some golf balls. It's a great way to spoil a nice walk.

JJCT, I like the way you think. Throw in a scene like the opening to Gladiator, where there is a quiet buildup of tension, then WAL or one of you veterans turns to the group and says "Gentlemen, it's time to unleash hell". And then Medic unloads a couple of thousand rounds from the M60.

[This message edited by Tred at 3:02 PM, July 29th (Sunday)]


Married: 16 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3306 | Registered: Dec 2011
Cannon
♂ Member
Member # 32440
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, July 29th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, WW was pouting and acting pissy all day yesterday, so around 8 last night while we were on the porch and the kids were watching a movie inside, I finally asked her why she was mad at me now.

She was LIVID that I told her Mom all of our business (her Mom called me during the nightmare last week and I spilled the beans about everything she's done in the last three years...I've never done that with any of our family members before).

She said she's in a big fight with her Mom now because of it, and I think she was surprised when I basically said I didn't give a hot shit, that she's actually lucky that I haven't told more people (family, mutual friends) what she's been doing, and that I really felt better that I could get it off my chest - that I was tired of her dictating the narrative.

She played tough, of course, and said "Tell whoever you want! I don't care", to which I mentioned, "Uh, your actions right now tell me you do care", which then made her say to leave her friends and family out of it.

Told her sorry, but I can tell who I want WHAT I want, especially since I know she's told her friends (people I don't know and who don't know me) that I beat her, and have caught her in a big lie about her Dad threatening me if I ever touched her again (complete BS).

And, true to her fighting style, she came into the bedroom this morning crying and apologetic, saying "I hate when I get mean" and trying to cuddle.

I tell you, guys, the roller coaster here is better than Six Flags...


Me - BH, 41
Her - Bi-polar WW, 41

Status: Divorced and relieved


Posts: 127 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: .
DWBH
♂ Member
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, July 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Gentlemen, it's time to unleash hell".

Awesome, LOVE that movie...

but...

I just want the opportunity to kick the MOM into a bottomless pit, 300-style. "THIS IS SPAAAAARTAAAAA!!!!"

Medic... love your style. I have 10,000+ rounds of 5.56mm in my basement, but man, I hate to part with it, since I only paid about 8 cents a round for it many years ago (South African surplus, in 300-rd battlepacks). Just too damn expensive nowadays to go out and blow off hundreds of rounds in a day!


Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, July 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cannon,
Stick to your guns. Seems like when you call her on her shit she at least accepts she is an absolute total liar for a moment in time. It took me months to get my W there. And now I very much resemble WALs 2.5 year mark. im so over all the infidelity shit. Id prefer to have a crown royal and watch the olympics, any of it, even the crappy events, than speak again about her affair. Id rather she works through her shit on her own. Now I got some swimming to watch, pass me a drink.


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Nov 2010
HoldingTogether
♂ Member
Member # 29429
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, July 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, since we are doing the movie scenes:

FWW's OM is a motorcycle cop (I guess an affair with some regular white collar douchebag just wouldn't have been emasculating enough). So I think the order of the day would have to be a scene in wich our heroes somehow arrange for the stupid fucktard to wreck and slide his police cycle under a fully loaded gasoline tanker truck. Que the massive explosions, total fucking devestating fireball. And then...

Rolling and bouncing down the pavement... Plink! Plink! Plink! There comes a single solitary, charred and blackened, tiny little testicle. The camera follows it rolling and bouncing across the pavement to finally come to a stop right at the toe of my shoe. At wich point I casually pick it up, give it a cursory, curious glance and then flick it away back into the flames from wence it came. Que the bad assed theme song.

Shit! I still can't figure out if revenge fantasies are healthy outlets or just pathetic chest beating symbols of impotent rage. (sigh).

Well either way, I like the image.

Carry on with the constructive stuff...
HT


Me:BH 41
Her:FWW40(Walkinoneggshellz)
2 Beautiful little girls 13&10
Dday: 7/24/10 1yr EA turned 5 monthPA
"I gotta hole in me now... I got a scar I can talk about."

Posts: 339 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: New Life
Mypoorboys
♂ Member
Member # 33169
Default  Posted: 1:41 PM, July 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jjct,
I think at this point we gotta choose!, Monty Python or the GodFather! OK, maybe a little of this and add some spice from the other, but no matter, there has to be, 'tremendous explosions, with limbs flying and panties a flaming', (monogram visible on a close up), or just as satisfying, 'the one-of-a-king low back slut TAT', unmistakeable, enduring and painfully retracted! Ah! now we are talking!!
MPBs

Posts: 176 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: New Brunswick, New Jersey
dday3302011
♂ Member
Member # 32043
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, July 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like the titles in bad porn movie rip-offs, like "Star Whores", "Joe's Black Meat", "The Sperminator", or my personal favorite, "A League of Their Moan".

I'm obviously not particularly creative (see my username), but SG or one of you other wiseasses has got to be able to come up with something good for our "film".


BH-41 (me)
xWW-42
M 11yrs, together 14
DDay 3-30-2011
2 kids, 9 & 7
1 yr LTA w/MOM
Divorced 5-16-2013

Posts: 235 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Northeast
noescape
♂ Member
Member # 34888
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, July 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cannon: stop playing on HER terms. offer her a cookie the next time she blows up. ignore/walk away. rinse, repeat. Grunt, turn away, watch the match or go out and chop some wood.

Rolling and bouncing down the pavement... Plink! Plink! Plink! There comes a single solitary, charred and blackened, tiny little testicle. The camera follows it rolling and bouncing across the pavement to finally come to a stop right at the toe of my shoe. At wich point I casually pick it up, give it a cursory, curious glance and then flick it away back into the flames from wence it came. Que the bad assed theme song.

Wait up... the testicle is still flaming, you pick it up (with gloves on of course), turn around, light your big ass cigar with it, and walk away tossing it behind you back into the flames.... cue bad ass theme song.


Posts: 739 | Registered: Feb 2012
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:49 PM, July 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

See. I knew it. You guys are writing the scenes, and it is constructive, Medic's the arsenal guy (don't worry too much about the grunting - it comes sorta naturally), and we got a knife guy...gladiator...ala James Coburn in magnif 7, or the sword guy in King Arthur, d&b...

Tred, I'm thinking you're the computer guy that hacks...well, *everything miraculously*. What else. OH!

How do we throw far enough to be near this thing and live?

After the credits run, we'll have a scene with rows of toes - with the blurry beach and waves in the background.
Someone or two spies a babe - knowing looks are exchanged - voila!


Posts: 6028 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, July 30th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

& Cannon, we'll include you in here, stumbling into the group - it will be someone who says; " offer her a cookie ... ignore/walk away. rinse, repeat. Grunt, turn away, watch the match or go out and chop some wood."
That turns your light on and you see. (There's always a much beloved slow one - you got that iconic one DOWN), You will be mighty. Surprising everyone with your strength. It's iconic.
You are.

Posts: 6028 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, July 31st (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cannon,

My wife was reminding me last night that the most powerful phrase in your arsenal is: "I'm sorry you feel that way."

It acknowledges without validating and without taking responsibility for the crazy.

It really pisses people off when they're crazy.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6690 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, July 31st (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It really pisses people off when they're crazy.

WAL is correct. Nothing stupefies crazy like an acknowledgement that you heard, recognize and don’t care about the crazy. They really are left digesting the fact that everything they just said was heard, and responded to without an acknowledgement of fact or impact.

Cannon,
You can do it. Your strong.

"Tell whoever you want! I don't care" - "I'm sorry you feel that way."
"I hate when I get mean" – she’s trying to manipulate you. Respond by saying “"when" I get mean?, to me your actions have demonstrated you’ve been a monster for years.” Then walk away, don’t give her an opportunity to respond. …

[This message edited by lordhasaplan? at 9:09 AM, July 31st (Tuesday)]


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1798 | Registered: Nov 2010
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