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The Book Club Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Children of the Self-Absorbed
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, April 1st (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has anyone read this? It has good reviews on amazon so I ordered it. I'm looking for something that might help my kids (young adult and teen) understand and deal with their dad a bit better.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12123 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
DixieD
♀ Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, April 1st (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heard of it -- haven't read it. Come back and tell us what you think of it when you've read it.

My IL's are self-absorbedx10. I'll put it on my should read list.


Growing forward

Posts: 1752 | Registered: Sep 2011
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, April 1st (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll definitely add a review after I've read it.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12123 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, April 15th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

don't ya just hate it when...

okay, got the book a while ago and started looking through it. Wham - hit by a FOO issue. Scan a few more pages - wham, again.

I should have known better. It's a self-help book that had some appeal to me. I should know by now it means there's some sort of lesson for me to learn by reading the book.

But because of this, I haven't read it in depth as much as I need to, to do a full review. What I can say (so far) is that I don't think it's going to be the kind of book that will help my kids with their dad, like I had hoped. I was looking for something that had more case studies with suggestions on how to deal with similar situations. This book is more the workbook style self help book, where you do quizzes in each chapter and your score tells you how much of an impact that type of narcissistic parent had on you as a child.

It looks like the book has some good information in it, but it's going to take me a while before I'm ready to tackle more of my own FOO issues and read it.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12123 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
DixieD
♀ Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 12:16 AM, April 16th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My intent was to get it for Mr.DixieD. His parents are classic NPD.

Then I read the reviews listing alcoholic and workaholic parents as narcissistic too. Uh-oh. That's my parents. More covert self-absorbed.

I ordered it today for both of us.

I know what you mean inconnu about trying to get through these books. Currently reading Journey from Abandonment to Healing and it is hitting me hard. Read a couple pages -- burst into tears and put it down for the night.


Growing forward

Posts: 1752 | Registered: Sep 2011
SoCo
♀ Member
Member # 33907
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, April 16th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

try....

Disarming the narcissist

Surviving & Thriving with the self absorbed

Wendy T. behary, LCSW


BS (me)
WS (him)
DDay. Jan. 2010
AKA Whydidyou (long story)

Posts: 308 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South Carolina
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, April 16th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...alcoholic and workaholic parents as narcissistic too. Uh-oh. That's my parents. More covert self-absorbed...

yep, that would be the FOO issues that I ran into, looking through the book.

SoCo, thanks for the suggestion. I'll check it out.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12123 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: TX
DixieD
♀ Member
Member # 33457
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, April 20th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got it on audio book this week and we've listened to 3 chapters.

We've been ticking off (90%) of the traits of both our fathers.

I'll add Disarming the narcissist to our reading list (thanks SoCo). May be it will help us figure out how to deal with our fathers -- interaction with either of them is frustrating as hell.

I'm also alarmed by the traits I can list in myself.


Growing forward

Posts: 1752 | Registered: Sep 2011
oldtimer97
♀ Member
Member # 2365
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, June 17th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This book is marked on my Amazon favorites. My psychologist has me reading Trapped in the Mirror by Elan Golomb Ph.D. We're trying to decipher if my mom may have been one. Seems aconpd (my term for adult children of npd(s), hehe are viola...attracted to NPD's. Well, H #1 was that & more & it looks like H#2 likely places on the continuum as well.

Just a quick glance through doesn't show any quick self-tests, but I'll let you know if it may be appropriate reading for children (age appropriate to the age level). Maybe someone would like to trade when I get done & we can save some money?

ETA>I know one thing I've read in multiple sources is that one, if not the most important, thing to teach kids & lessen the chances of personality...empathy for others.

[This message edited by oldtimer97 at 4:39 AM, June 18th (Monday)]


FWIW, because of brain damage, I write in storyteller form, so hardly any short posts from me & bad eyesight gives me a 50% edit rate..Apologies in advance!

Posts: 3235 | Registered: Oct 2003 | From: Sunny Arizona
Topic Posts: 9

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