SurvivingInfidelity.com® > New Beginnings
That's awesome Persevere! Piper's sperm donor is into the whole crossfit fad with getting big and stuff.... but I agree, that the kettlebell things sounds more up my alley! I run and do bodypump for my weights but its always good to try new things! You go girl!!!
Bumping up for any lurkers who think that NB = new relationship and therefore feel they don't belong down here. Welcome! There is more to NB than dating!
Nothing much to report here -- I close on my house a week from Friday, so I should have an exciting entry next week!
I got an unexpected and unsolicited job offer yesterday. After much soul-searching I decided to stay where I am. It could have been very interesting working for a hedge fund, but since I am the sole breadwinner for my parrots and me, I'm better off staying where I'm at, at a company with less volatility. Plus, I do love my current job.
Now I just need to get in gear with my packing...
I have been way too dating focused so I'm glad to read this thread since I really need to work on myself and my own NB.
I've reached out to some meetup groups, rekindled a friendship with someone XWH couldn't stand, joined a gamikng group, and am getting back into exercise.
Hopefully in 6 months I'll have more exciting things to share on this thread.
I just realized last week that I have a queen bed, but am still only sleeping on one side of it. So I have taken it upon myself to spread out over the entire bed. I love it!
phmh, I switched sides when my XH left, and eventually moved to the middle. Then I got a body pillow. I now pretty much take up the entire bed. I had to share it with someone recently and realized how selfish I've become about my space when I sleep!
I registered today to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity.
There's a local build I want to get in on, but all the volunteer spots are taken through the next several weeks. But at the end of August? I am ON IT!
NIK, that's cool! Do you get to know the family you're building for?
NIK - are you getting excited for Habitat???
Here, things continue to go well. My parents helped me do a bunch of stuff around my house last weekend. I am handier than I gave myself credit for!
Signed up for a couple of 50K races this fall.
Painted a picture for my sister to take to grad school with her (she's been asking for one, but I hadn't been happy enough with any of them to give to someone other than me!)
Made a delicious ratatouille last night.
Took an Excel class at work today and learned some super cool things about conditional formatting that will enhance my Excel experience.
Volunteering at the parrot rescue this weekend as photographer and petfinder updater.
What non-dating things are going on with you guys???
Ok, I'm ready to jump in.
I started taking golf lessons with three other girlfriends. We get to bring "beverages" for our next lesson, which has to do with something called "chipping".
I decided to redo the kids bathroom. New floor, vanity, toilet, tub and tile on the shower walls. I get to pick it all by myself and design it down to the towel hooks and toilet paper holder.
I am looking at an overnight trip with the kids for fall. Boston is looking good. One of the coolest things I've ever done was a humpback whale watch off of cape cod. I would love for them to have that memory. Apparently, you can take one right out of Boston harbor so early fall is probably a great time.
That's about it for now.
I have TEN DAYS left until having another certifications to my name (and boy has it been a long freaking year), seven more days in the job that got me through separation, and less than a month until my new dream job starts. I'm so excited for this new chapter of my new beginning!!
Bump for newcomers to NB
Ama is rocking it!
I'm sitting in my antique apartment on this thunderstormy evening, snuggled up to my history reading on my IPad, enjoying a glass of cabernet and the relative peace and quiet of this beautiful old house -- I say relative because the last rock festival of the summer is wafting up from down the hill.
It's been far too long since this has been bumped up.
I don't have anything specifically. Things are great. Working on my list of 2014 goals. Maybe I should start a new post for that.
2013 so far has exceeded my expectations. Life is wonderful!
Thanks for bumping! This is just what I need after a long weekend of in-misery-house separation.
Here is my wish list:
Weekends away with my DD
Changing the exterior color of my house from dirt brown
Cooking lighter, healthier meals
Saving money on utility bills, food, health insurance
Keeping my savings
Taking up tennis again
Running seriously again
Reading in bed
Buying a sewing machine and taking some classes
Growing my own veggies
Baking for Christmas gifts
Still getting used to being single after almost three years. Have had no desire to even begin to look for a new partner. Simply not interested at this stage but maybe one day before my boobs and bum hit the floor.
Started an Advanced Diploma in Professional Writing this year. I have achieved 'A's for most of my assignments. Really enjoying it.
I threw out all the presents my ex idiot H's family had ever given me. I chucked all the clothes I had worn to special events (with HIM) into the trash. Bought new ones. Gradually replacing the furniture, only the sofas to go now but it will cost too much to replace them just yet.
I kept our Queen size bed (the one he had shagged the neighbor in) because the base of it comes apart into two pieces which is brilliant when you live in a double story house and anyway the bloody thing cost about $2500 dollars (Australian). I brought a new woolen underlay for it though, new quilt, sheets, pillows etc. I've still got the old underlay in the garage tied up with a velvet ribbon. I am so tempted to throw it up OW1's driveway. I performed a Reiki "cleansing" ritual on the mattress complete with candles and prayers. I must have looked like a complete nutcase but I felt pleased that I'd managed it all without setting the bed on fire.
I got a new job back at my "old" company. Lovely supportive workmates. Need more money though.
Bought a beautiful little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, he is the only man in my life now.
Came off anti-depressants for awhile then went back on them again. Oh well, it's a process.
Stopped having dreams where I commit horrific acts of violence against Sir Shagalot and his other women. Today I even woke up without the bedside lamp raised above my head. Another major step forward.
Getting ready for no 1 son's wedding early next year. I'll post a pic of my once I've bought my dress and managed to machete the hair from my arms and legs.
Hopefully more wonderful non-dating moments to report soon.
Love and peace to you all
[This message edited by Ellejay at 8:00 AM, October 21st (Monday)]
Ellejay - your post gave me such a smile this morning. Thank you. Needed that.
School. is. kicking. my. ass.
But I'll be damned if I'm going to not succeed.
I am simultaneously working on my Masters and Associate degree in the same field. My masters is harder than I ever imagined, but an A in one class and a B in another, plus an A in my associates degree.
Never thought I could do it...but look at me!
I recently started an online course to do in my 'spare time' yeah what was I thinking I don't really have much of that. It was related to my job, but I don't need to do the course to do my job.
I have decided it's not for me and that is ok.
In the past I would never have given up, I committed to doing this I was going to finish it etc. Now this is not a bad thing being committed to something but in the past even if something wasn't working I would continue doing it as I didn't want to fail or show people I had failed or not succeeded.
If anything this journey has shown me that it's ok to not continue with something that clearly isn't working. Now things have changed and it's ok to not succeed at everything, life's too short to do things you really don't want to do.
When I left the serial philanderer 15 years ago, I made big changes--probably too many. If you look on the list of indicators for future mental illness, I think I had 80% of them, yet here I am, pretty sane. (I think. Feel free to disagree!)
I left the philanderer, the dream house I shared with him, the dream job that was our business together and the small city where I'd lived and worked for more than a decade. I moved to the big city (Toronto), rented a waterfront condo, started my own PR/marketing firm and completely changed my way of life. I was known as a hostess who could easily handle 50-100 people events at my house; I now had dinner parties for no more than 6 people (me included). I'd spent 12 years travelling all over the world promoting my business; for five years, I travelled no further than back to that small city to get my hair cut! Talk about pendulum swings. (I've since gradually reverted back to type somewhat. I now have 35-person-plus New Year's Day levees every two years. And I recently took a southern vacation.)
I did all the things I never had time for when I ran the business with the X:
1) Became a member of The Art Gallery of Ontario and haunted the place on weekends,
2) Did fun things with my now-grown children who now lived not far from mw.
3) Joined a dancing group. I've since had to give that up, alas, because of arthritis behind my right big toe. Excruciating. Still occasionally wear my flats and hang out at our neighbourhood pub on Friday or Saturday night, though, when they have live rock.
4)In the first year, I wrote a complete novel. And lots of poetry. Got included in a couple of anthologies.
5)Became part of the social committee of my condo building, helped plan special events, and along with another woman, provided entertainment (singing along to her guitar)at condo parties.
6) Took singing lessons after a 30-year hiatus. Subsequently nailed Patsy Cline's "Crazy" at a bar karaoke contest!
7) I went back to painting, although I still didn't allow anyone outside my family see my work until 2011. I've now had several solo shows, with two major ones upcoming in December and April.
8) Attended theatre, dance and musical events I'd never have been aware of if I'd stayed in small city.
9) Edited and wrote some copy for a coffee table book on famous Canadian chefs and their favourite recipes.
10) Started a cooking blog.
Oh yeah, leaving the X was good for me. I'd have never had such a rich life (although I'd now be globetrotting in style) because everyone's attention HAS to be on him ALL the time. Best of all, I don't have to worry about where my man is when he isn't with me. That in itself was worth the move! Does it sound like I tried to throw myself into a whack of things to keep the wobblies away? Nope. I decided to do all the things I always wanted to do but never could. I've probably forgotten to list a bunch. But....now I just turned 66 and I have to say, there aren't too many things left on my bucket list.
[This message edited by lynnm1947 at 12:59 PM, October 22nd (Tuesday)]
I'm going to learn how to make mead. Super excited about this! XWH and I brewed beer together and made some mead-like beverages, but with him driving the process. This will be all me.
Plus, I have a connect for some honey. I love history and can't wait to make one of the older fermented beverages in the world. Yay!!! Class is in two weeks and then, watch out!!!
Can I intrude in here? I am not planning on dating any time soon. For now it is just my son and I! Exactly how I want it to be! I want to become more active on here so I have another support system but I rarely feel like I can add anything significant to the conversations or have the wisdom for advice and often feel like I'm the awkward social one intruding on a conversation.
Phmh that sounds exciting and very interesting! Enjoy!
I started running again today (I was an avid runner most of my life. Had to stop when I was undergoing fertility treatments and for the pregnancy. Dday happened. Single parenting.... Circumstances) so it was great to get out! I'm as unfit as can be but just happy to get started again. I'll only be able to run 3 mornings a week at this stage (not ideal but it's something. It's the only time someone can look after my son for a short while) but after months of NO me-time it is huge for me. I also went to my first IC session last friday here in the new city we moved to. So first session in 3 months. Miss my old IC but this new one seems nice too.