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The Book Club Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: The D.N.A. Of Relationships
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, April 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This book came up quite a bit in my pastor's sermon this past Sunday.

Anyone read it?

Some of the things discussed were very interesting.

TIA,

AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21041 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, April 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whoops...authored by Gary Smalley


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21041 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
traicionada
♀ Member
Member # 10310
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, April 23rd (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope but I like the title enough to go for it I'm book floozie like that


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3288 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
wantreallove
♀ Member
Member # 37534
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, January 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Curious what your take on this book was? My WH just heard about it and said it was recommended in his men's group at our church. Was it good?


Me,BS 32
SA fWH (masame5) 34
Married 12 yrs 6 kids age 17-1, and expecting #7
D-day 10/9/12 (caught him through fb chat) D-day #2 11/19/12 thru 11/21/12 (found out about all the rest of the A's.)
8 AP, 12-7-12 WH sober date

Posts: 196 | Registered: Nov 2012
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, January 22nd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm currently reading it and I've had a Eureka moment based on something he said in the book. We keep having the same fights because it's pushing our core button issues. For women, its most likely disconnectedness. For men, it's either helplessness or fear of someone controlling them.
For me: I fear I'm not my husband's priority and this has been the BULK of what I bring to the table when we fight. Anyone remember how I was so hurt that he took so long to sell his affair car? yep, I wasn't the priority, nor was I during his affairs or heck, even when the kids were growing up, he focused on his career. Now why I need to be someone's priority, that's another issue. But, I can tell him this and perhaps he can see why I do what I do.

Additionally, this book explains how was have to own our part of the problem. It also reiterates how you have control of your reactions to what happens to you. Not sure about this but that's what he says.

I suspect this all is based on the drama triangle... Immensely readable...


his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4777 | Registered: Dec 2010
NoTriangles
♀ Member
Member # 35985
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, February 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks rachelc. I had just heard of this book also so I was glad to find this thread.


Me: Finding my Sunlight
Him: Traitor in my Foxhole
Let go or get dragged.

Posts: 1251 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: a state of consciousness
Topic Posts: 6

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