I am so sorry for you, Dawn. My story is different in that my husband told me he wanted to leave as soon as he started the affair. But we'd been together for 28 years and I thought we would be for ever. The shock of this is awful and for the first year all I wanted was to have him back and keep our family together. in the event, he took that option away from me by leaving, but if I could talk to the 'me' in that situation with the benefit of hindsight, I'd be saying there are far worse things than change. I'd say you do not want to live with someone who has done this to you, and that the only way your soul will recover from this crushing hurt is to live without him. This is an IMMENSE blow to a marriage, and he does not sound remotely remorseful to me. Remember you do not have to be a martyr to this marriage now. You can, in a way, consider yourself free, although this may be the last thing you want right now. I'm just telling you, after decades wasted on a cheater, that life AFTER betraying relationships can be better than ok. You can be happy. Please keep that in mind in a very dark time. Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
Posts: 499 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
dawnwade ♀ New Member Member # 36454
Posted: 12:09 PM, August 19th (Sunday), 2012
I don't know what to do. I am so dependent on him for everything and he has supported me always. He even picks clothes for me to wear to work, he reminds me to take my vitamins every night etc. I haven't talked anything about the A for the past several days because I know that is not going to help. Yes, I am watching the show without sound! Lets see how far this goes. Our relationship has deep roots which starts in our families. I know both our families will be deeply hurt if they know this. My mom and MIL are so close. I know my mom talks to my MIL more than I do.
We have recently moved because of my job and we are looking for a house now.
Posts: 9 | Registered: Aug 2012
crazynot ♀ Member Member # 24572
Posted: 12:55 PM, August 19th (Sunday), 2012
Don't worry about your family. I had the same thing... families very close since we got together 28 years ago, we saw each other through family bereavements etc etc... none of it matters compared to your reality and your right to not be betrayed. Me - 50
Him - 51
DDay 21 March 2009
Divorcing and delighted!
Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
Posted: 7:52 AM, August 17th (Friday), 2012
