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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Going NC with a sociopath
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is a great thread! It was threads like this on SI that led me down the path to discovering that I was likely dealing with a narc.

I think that knowledge is why I'm not still holding on to hope that he will "wake up" and do the right thing. It also knocked some reality into me and knocked me out of my own fog of sorts. I realized that for much of the last 10 years I was looking at him and our relationship through rose-colored glasses. I excused away everything (except the affair and his lack of remorse which was the first thing I couldn't excuse away). I held on to hope for the future without any indication in the present that he would ever be a better man.

Now that I know he never was the man he wanted me to believe he was and never will be, I'm out of excuses that I could make to myself about why I shouldn't let go.

Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, May 14th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm struggling with this issue. I don't know how important it is to label it "Sociopathic," which carries SO much weight or just to look at the behaviors which are quite unacceptable. Lack of expressed empathy. Like in addition to ADHD could he also have auditory processing disorder or be sociopathic? Does it matter other than i feel like a moving TARGET for these types of people due to my kind, sincere, trusting, a bit naive, forgiving nature. I feel like such a target for people who look for someone to abuse!

Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Now homeless but getting it together. Necessary but difficult(!) transition! Sad sad sad but hopeful.

Posts: 554 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
♀ Member
Member # 37933
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much for this thread!
I'm going NC with a female "best friend" I posted about back in Dec, although I had tried to just go low contact with her, to NO avail.

I got many good posts on that thread when I originally posted about it. It really is important not to reason, bargain, or explain boundaries. Just go dark. I appreciate the posts from people who understand.

Posts: 421 | Registered: Dec 2012
Topic Posts: 23
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