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Newest Member: Hurtlostempty (45065)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: the bar scene
nolight
♀ Member
Member # 32785
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All those guys claiming to be the one who yelled at you is hilarious!

I don't think the bar scene is the place to go to meet a potential partner, although I don't do online dating either. I am going out to some bars with friends this weekend although I'm staying sober so at least I will be able to monitor for sleaziness! I think of bars as being somewhere to go to have fun with friends and dance, not to meet men.

This raises an interesting question though, when you're over 30 where do you go to meet people?


Posts: 508 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Hawaii
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This raises an interesting question though, when you're over 30 where do you go to meet people?

All my male friends tell me that the single guys they know stay home playing video games, which does not bode well for my non-OLD dating future :) I'm 35.

I have made a ton of female friends and married male friends through activities -- volunteering, running, etc. However, it seems like most guys who do those things are attached.

My friends (like 10-15 of them) have all told me that the single guys in my age range they know are single for a reason and they wouldn't set up their worst enemies with them (some friend endorsement!)

I don't know. It's weird. I've been open to a relationship for about 8 months now, but keep hitting dead ends on OLD and no ends in real life! I know tons of single, intelligent, attractive ladies, but all of the intelligent, attractive guys I know are taken! Yet I am an optimist at heart and still hope to find one someday. "They" always say it happens when you least expect it.


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3371 | Registered: Dec 2011
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 8:54 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never done OLD, but I met my SO in a bar 4 years ago and now we are living together. He is the best man I've ever known!

NL


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

Posts: 7700 | Registered: Aug 2005
Must Survive
♀ Member
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 9:07 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I look at it this way. If I am at a bar, and I am a good person, don't over drink, etc. Then there must be male counterparts that are good in the bar also.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 761 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
LineInTheSand
♀ Member
Member # 20399
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I am at a bar, and I am a good person, don't over drink, etc. Then there must be male counterparts that are good in the bar also.


I agree! I'm not a bar person per se but I have gone recently. I've enjoyed the karaoke, and I was hit on by both a woman and a young guy.

I don't drink alcohol, but I do like to dance.


Posts: 495 | Registered: Jul 2008
kg201
♂ Member
Member # 40173
Default  Posted: 10:50 AM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I knew my STBX from our college days, so I never did the adult bar scene. I can't imagine using a pickup line, and I am wondering where guys who use them learn them...and if it ever works for them? Of course the purpose of a pick-up line might be very different, because if can't imagine any conscious woman falling for them.


Me: BH, 39
Her: WW, 40
Together 18 years, married 15+
LTA 3.5 years, ongoing
Dday: 7/28/13
Divorcing, 3 children
---------------------------------
"There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity." -S

Posts: 707 | Registered: Aug 2013
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 5:05 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For those of you who go to bars only because you like to dance, but must suffer the fools on the prowl, I have found the best solution possible. I go to a local gay bar. I dance like crazy, have a really fun time and no one hits on me! Have met some wonderful men that will never say some creepy pick-up line.


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1638 | Registered: Mar 2004
PhoenixRising88
♀ Member
Member # 35214
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One cheesy pickup line my sister had to endure...

Some strange dude walks up to her in a grocery store parking lot and says "You wanna see me pull an elephant out of my pants?"

To which she coolly replied, "I don't know, you wanna see ME pull a .45 out of my purse??"

She said he damn near ran the other direction..

:)


Me: BS (43)Him: EX, aka "The Dink"(50)
D-Day#1 12/22/11. D-Day#2 5/23/2013.

Divorce final 2/10/14.

Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack.


Posts: 427 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: North Texas
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, April 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^ Bahahaha! I've met lots of guys in lots of different places. I love dancing with my girlfriends but am not keen to meet someone on the dance floor. I left that in my 20s.

I hate sleazy/cheesy pick up lines but I have to admit the funny ones do work on me. Charm goes a long way.

Best, most successful pick up line? "Hi, I'm James" (use your real name). I generally talk to any guy who talks to me - as long as they don't do anything stupid or rude. I've been known to chat guys up myself.

Chats sometimes it turn into dates - sometimes it's just a really nice conversation. I actually had a guy come over and compliment me on not being rude to the guys talking to me. I don't get why women are rude - my girlfriends do it and it makes me cringe. Give the guy a break, he is just having a chat.

I don't give off a fuck me vibe or a fuck off vibe. I'm aiming for that sweet spot somewhere in between.

The best way to meet people is through friends of friends or via a chatty friend like me. I've set up a few of my GFs in their current relationships. All great guys (one great girl too!).


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5576 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
stronger08
♂ Member
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 4:47 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I gave up drinking years ago. But I will hit a bar from time to time to see old friends. My post D life has had no luck meeting quality women in bars, but I would not discount them completely. Ya never know when the right person will suddenly pop into your life. Chances are your going to meet drunks at bars, but there is always the chance that a good person will be in one for reasons other then getting drunk. One thing I've always liked about meeting people at bars is that its almost always a very relaxed scene. People tend to be funny as hell when they have a couple in them. I guess it depends on the type of bar as well. The old neighborhood bucket of blood complete with the resident cartel of drunks would not cut it. But a cool place with a cool crowd is always a fun night.


You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 5675 | Registered: Nov 2007
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, April 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No bars! That's the advice I was given. At least going out dancing is a bit better.


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
traicionada
♀ Member
Member # 10310
Shutup  Posted: 11:43 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I went bar hoping last night to celebrate my sister 25th b-day and at the first one I got hit on by a lady & at the last one by a kid who didn't look old enough to be drinking. Yup! I'm so over the bar scene


Real love is a CHOICE, NOT a feeling...

Posts: 3305 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Dallas, Texas
Topic Posts: 32
Pages: 1 · 2

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