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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Husband is a repeated cheater with same woman
PeaceLove187
♀ Member
Member # 33559
Default  Posted: 2:16 PM, October 15th (Monday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gotta, I'm so proud of you. DO NOT engage in his BS and it is all BS. You know he's in contact with her and he's the one who's killing the marriage, you're just calling the time of death. He's going to try to convince you of all kinds of irrational things but you know three things: 1) He's in contact with the AP 2) There is no room in your marriage for any contact with the AP 3) You are not going to live like this anymore.

I wish you could feel the relief I felt when I finally decided divorce was better than the crazy-making of living with a man I couldn't trust. The weird thing is that my being willing to move on is the only thing that finally brought him around but I knew I'd eventually be just fine without him. You'll be just fine.

Stay strong.


BW--Me, 57
FWH--Him, 59
Married 35 years
Empty Nesters

Posts: 638 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
gotta2know
♀ Member
Member # 37115
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, October 16th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I suck! He is pretty much back, although not warmly. It feels way different this time. We are very distant, no apologies, just pushed under the rug. I don't feel like there is much hope for us. I don't feel the love for him that I had before thinking that we could work this out. I am dead inside- no tears, no hope, nothing.

We have not discusse the OW at all. He has not apologized or admitted to the contact and I have given up.

I am going to do the 180 and start stashing money aside. I am going to start severing myself from him and building my own life.

My bitch boots fell off.


BW - 46 (me)
WH - 46(repeated cheater, cake eater)
Married 17 years
DD 4/8/2011 and many more
3 children- 22(mine), 16 and 13
Living in misery trying to understand why I choose to do so.
I like the saying "feel the fear and do it anyway!&

Posts: 171 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: SD
PeaceLove187
♀ Member
Member # 33559
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, October 16th (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's okay to do things on your own time. I'm sure you didn't ask for this pile of crap, so you have every right to shovel it out on your own schedule and nobody else's. Focus on you and getting yourself to a position to feel more independent. Don't ever forget that you're worth the whole package, including fidelity.

But don't rugsweep this. I love an old line from a Gunsmoke episode--"Never lie to yourself. Tell it the way that does you the most good, but don't ever lie to yourself."

Peace.


BW--Me, 57
FWH--Him, 59
Married 35 years
Empty Nesters

Posts: 638 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Midwest
gotta2know
♀ Member
Member # 37115
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, October 17th (Wednesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Way down in the dumps today. Found out last night my dad has a brain tumor. Right now it is new so we don't know much other than it is a large tumor on his right side of his brain. Very lost. My husband says he feels a million miles from me and I feel the same. I am angry knowing that my deepest darkest feelings are probably shared with that OW and that he really isn't there for me.

Sometimes I think as I am probably losing my father that as those tears fall I just as well kick my husband out and go through the pain of it all at once.


BW - 46 (me)
WH - 46(repeated cheater, cake eater)
Married 17 years
DD 4/8/2011 and many more
3 children- 22(mine), 16 and 13
Living in misery trying to understand why I choose to do so.
I like the saying "feel the fear and do it anyway!&

Posts: 171 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: SD
Texascherry
♀ New Member
Member # 41906
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, March 19th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My happy husband cheated on me with the very same piece of trash he cheated on his first wife with 37 years ago. He also cheated with her on another serious relationship over 26 years ago. She had been out of state and married while he was married to me these last 11 years. Only when her husband died and she moved back, 3 blocks from us, did he go for it again. They have known each other since they were teens. The first few times he cheated with her, it was because he was having problems in his relationships and he was a horrible alcoholic. She is weak and always lets him in. Now he's 25 years sober and in a very happy marriage, but the temptation was just too close. She is trash. She weighs over 300 lbs, has a colostomy bag due to anal cancer, has no money, lives off disability and handouts from good people who feel sorry for her, uses meth and obviously has no morals. He did it because she was easy and he thought he was smart enough to not get caught. She's always loved him and he knew she'd play the game. He has no love for her...they both know it. Their involvement has torn me apart.


Me-BS-49
Him-WH-56
DD-Caught-6/30/13
Married 10 years
15 month affair
Status-R (slowly)

Posts: 1 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: South Texas
Topic Posts: 45
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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