@suspended, out of all of your posts, this is the most disturbing. Particularly "would I ever recommend."
You have absolutely no business giving advice to anyone on this forum. Your arrogance fails to mask your insecurity and the only advice you should be giving is how to get HPV (sorry, I meant educated and classy HPV).
You know what is funny is statistically 75% of the people posting here have/had HPV at one point in there life. With over 100 strains with about 30% of those being the once that may aid in cancers.
We can disagree all day long. Of course I'm insecure who isn't? Who doesn't feel inadequate in at least something?
Do you not ever feel insecure? If not, that's awesome kudos to you!!
I read all of the responses and unfortunately no one has a real good answer as to why confession is better.
I see a lot of attacks on character, principle, or passing judgement. The facts are still the same.
I'm sitting right here right now at work! My life is great if my wife calls me and says "Honey, I can't hold in it anymore. I'm so sorry I've been sleeping with your boss. I was just so scared you would find out!!"
While noble trust me my life doesn't get better at that point. People are just afraid of being taken as the fool that's all it is.
I know it's a slippery slope and I do understand the principle point, the right/wrong, the vows made, the disrespect, the falsehood, etc etc that's not the question.
Does it make the marriage better/happier? No, it doesn't! I strongly suggest anyone who had a affair and it's hidden. Squash it, kill it, and move on focus on your spouse/family and forget it ever happened.
As for the
Like a cancercomment. Stop projecting a affair is cancer, but porn everyday isn't?
If your spouse changed his actions well he/she obviously screwed up. Remember as psychotherapist say once discovery occurs often both parties rewrite history to make sense of it all. From the WS being miserable with the marriage to the BS saying "See I knew it" when in fact both are embellishing a little bit.