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User Topic: Long Term Affairs - Part 30
nofun
♀ Member
Member # 24546
Default  Posted: 7:36 PM, January 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is just never satisfied. He wants more, bigger and better. When he gets what he wants it is not good enough
.

Laura, you hit the nail on the head.

My husband has more toys, classic cars worth tons of money, motorcycle, trucks, trailers, tractor, lawn mower with snow blower attachment, all kinds of collectibles, antique trains, I could go on and on. Nothing makes him happy. The kids call him "Mr. Happy."

I've come out of lurkdoom, because this made sense to me.

I guess the 10 year LTA was just something else where he was trying to "get happy."

Well fuck him!


BS (me) 56
WH 61
M 36 yrs
OW - 55 - Howdy Doody Look Alike
3 Awesome Adult C
DD 6/7/09
LTA 12 years.
Confused: D or R???

Posts: 987 | Registered: Jun 2009
deeppurple
♂ Member
Member # 28757
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, January 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WW bought clothes, clothes, clothes & more clothes. Doesnt matter what you wear mutton dressed up like lamb still looks like mutton.


Me - BS 49
Her - WS 43
Married 16 yrs (together 17 yrs)
DD13 DS10 DS8 DS6
DDay 1 6.4.2010 dday 2 7.25.2010
Heading for divorce.
"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Where the sun is shining & the surf is pumping
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 8:44 AM, January 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the feedback all. Believe me I am detached and will remain that way.

You did not really create more resentment. You just gave her a new outlet to express her resentment.
The resentment was on my part. As I detached, I started to get pissed about what she has actaully done to me and how I put up with so much stupidity. I don't have to like her very much but I do have to deal with her because of the kids so I am trying not to end up hating this women.

Detach, Detach, Detach

This has been me for the last 2 months or so. Me detaching is part of the issue. I no longer react to her or participate in the stupidity.

Is the latest thing with your WW that she wants to divorce/separate etc.?
Nothing has changed, she still wants to leave which I am fine with. She just hasn't brought it up in awhile. Funny how they want out so bad but don't take any steps to actually do it or set up some ridiculous set of circumstances to leave under that they will never be able to meet. So far she hasnt' left because she found out that her spending screwed up her chance to build her house. This is true, I saw the rejection notice for credit. So know she wants to pay off bills to get her debt to income ratio down. We split up the household finances several months ago so she has been on her own with paying her stuff for awhile now. She dug the hole now she can dig her way out of it. This is the first time she has had to deal with the consequences of her actions financially.

Her comments about the friend?
Jealousy.... she wants what she can't have..and certainly doesn't want someone else to have you.

Yeah I see her having a very hard time dealing with me dating people once we do get divorced but that's her problem.

I'm wondering if she's beginning to realize that she is losing a 'quality' man?

It's possible, don't think she is there just yet. Realizing that would mean she would have to face up to the fact that I always had value and she screwed the marriage and the family up. That probably won't happen until I am gone. She is still to stuck on her own problems and selfishness to even recognize any of my qualities. It's actually the opposite. She is actively projecting what she doesn't like about herself onto me. She told me she gets mad because I have money to spend and she doesn't, I wonder why. She hasn't said this to me but I know from talking to some of her friends that she actually has an issue with me being a good guy. She has me on a pedestal if you will, which I never asked to be on by the way, and feels like I never do anything wrong and she is not worthy of me or something. She would feel better if I did go out and cheat or do something to "damage" my image. Everyone always tells her, he is doing what a husband and father are supposed to do. You are supposed to want the guy that treats you like he is supposed too but she is stuck on her issues. Eventually it will be her loss. When all you have dealt with are people that treat you poorly in the past you don't know what to do when you meet the one that does treat you the right way.


Don't allow her to pull you into these conversations.
You'll get sucked in to a whirlpool of craziness.

I don't buy into her stuff anymore. The stupidity happens when I initiate a conversation about something that must be addressed. a month or so ago it was me reiterating my boundaries and this weekend it was me bringing up the brokerage thing. Her stuff is easy to identify now and I don't fall for that anymore. Her no longer wearing her ring is a prime example of something that would have started a fight between us in the past. I would have gotten pissed about that but no longer. Why argue when we are pretty much done anyway so whether she wears the ring or not won't change anything so I keep it moving. I might vent about it here but it doesn't ruin my day or consume me anymore.


Let her feel the brunt of her choices...let her understand that there are consequences for her actions

I am and will continue to do so. I am just focused on trying to pay down my bills so I can handle the child support payments.


ETA: She won't even have the decency and courage to file and end the M. I will end up having to do that as well. She will avoid conflict and run till the very end.

[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 8:49 AM, January 10th (Thursday)]


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
STBXWW = Her
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Separated 6/2013, D official around 6/2014

Posts: 1585 | Registered: May 2011
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, January 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never satisfied with what they have.

These are "glass half empty people".

^^^This is truth. for my wife it's clothes. so much crap in the closet and she never seems to have enough. She jsut traded the A for the money spending. I am trying my best not to let my daughter get wrapped up in this need for material things.

I actually have explained to my kids, 7 and 5, that commercials are tricks to take your money. There is a difference between something you NEED and something you WANT. Some wants are okay but not at the expense of your needs. My son gets it, still having to work on my daughter though.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
STBXWW = Her
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Separated 6/2013, D official around 6/2014

Posts: 1585 | Registered: May 2011
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, January 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WW will go out and buy something only to exchange it 3-4-5 times till she gets what she thinks she wanted all along. I try to explain all the time, energy, and money this wastes but its as if she actually enjoys doing it. She'll do this with clothes, electronics, purses, you name it. WW also buys things, uses them, then takes them back. I'm ashamed to be married to someone like that lots of the time.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, January 10th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rye Bread -- that mindset is so telling and so typical of WS's. Mine is also much like Dip, Laura, nofun and 7yrs. described.

There's a name for it -- a maximizer. (the alternative to being a maximizer is being a satisficer.)

The maximizer will shop for a car and try every car in its class -- say it drives the audi, the BMW, the mercedes ... and then they'll want the engine of the audi, the seat heaters in the BMW, the sunroof on the mercedes... they'll eventually choose one, but these are the people who will say "it's nice BUT I wish it had..."

A satisficer goes with whatever meets the most of their requirements and doesn't second-guess. Their requirements might be quite high, but once they find something that meets all/most/enough of them they go with it and don't really look back.

A friend of mine in college once called the maximizer mentality "bigger better faster more"

By the way, satisficers are happier.

Oh, and Fighting Back -- yes, he was deliberately trying to manipulate you.

And jtom -- my husband's affair started more than a dozen years before we got married. And I had been very happily married until the year of Dday when my fWh's behavior changed and even then, it took maybe 9 months of his crap mood before I figured out he was having an A. I was floored, and even more so when I found out how long it had been going on. He'd been with this woman for 20(!) years.

I remember thinking -- what's the worst thing that could happen (by trying R) -- the same damn thing that's already happened?

I think I was also influenced by my first husband's parents. They were both rather obviously Waywards. Because XH and I went to high school together I saw the good and bad of them "staying together for the kids" I learned a few things from that. The kids want you to stay together -- and how happy or unhappy you are about it is a personal choice.

[This message edited by m334455 at 9:35 PM, January 10th (Thursday)]


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
jtom
♂ Member
Member # 35322
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, January 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, 7yrsflushed,nigal480.and trynhard responding to my question about reconcilation after A LTA. I have to disagree though about the divorce rate of a LTA vs an affair of of few months.When one thinks that you were living a lie for years, an that your past has been altered,its just to much for some of us to even think about reconcilation, even if the WS wants to stay an work on the marriage. I know because I allowed my WW to return, she wanted to. But after two months,I ended it.The fact was, I was not going to get over it.I know, some stay for their kids sake. I had kids,but I wasnt going to spend the rest of my life angry and miserable with my kids seeing that. I know were humane, we make mistakes, I get it, but a LTA pushes to many buttons for me, an a lot of folks and is a deal breaker.


ME(BH)HER(WW)LTA AT WORK.DISCOVERED AUGUST 2010. TWO SONS.DIVORCED HER. "THE BEST PREDICTER OF FUTURE BEHAVIOR IS PAST BEHAVIOR"

Posts: 85 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: somewhere in texas
njgal480
♀ Member
Member # 24938
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, January 11th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jtom-

infidelity is a deal breaker for many people. And a LTA is a deal breaker for even more people!

It just is.

I always thought that it would be for me too but, surprisingly, I ended up reconciling.

I totally understand those that could not reconcile after such a huge betrayal and decided to divorce.


Me- BS
Him- WH
Long term marriage
D-day- Jan. 2007
5 yr. LTA
Reconciled.


Posts: 3139 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: NJ
Allgoodnamesgone
♀ Member
Member # 26157
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, January 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So many new people on here!

I am glad you found this place, but sad to see so many.

Hi to all those that I spent many days/nights talking to on here for probably every day for 2 years. You know who you are.

Deep - so sorry to see your current sitch. I gotta catch up on your back story for specific comment, but for now, know Im thinkin of you.

Peace to all & a Happy & Healthy New Year full of new beginnings of one kind or another.


Me- BS
DDay- 8/26/09
Separated after failed R effort.

Posts: 2165 | Registered: Nov 2009
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, January 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nofun, Laura and Allgood, so good to see you!!
M3: I hope all is going well for you right now. You have so much to deal with.

DP: My thoughts and prayers are with you. Your WW gets me soooo angry using the kids as pawns after all she has done!!

7yrs: Yes, Detach!! Right now you have to focus on what's best for yourself and your kids. Your WW is fence sitting and you have to make the decision for yourself. So many WS's seem to do this. They tortured the marriage to a point that it is dying and expect the BS to pull the trigger and then say "SEE you were the one who killed the marriage!"

jtom: I believe the fact that a LTA usually goes with a long marriage where there is so much more at stake: lifestyle, kids, family, assets, etc etc. Because it was a LTA, it was "business as usual" with the WS that the BS had no idea what was going on, couldn't see "clues" that were different, because everything had become the norm. To successfully R, the WS has to want to change and really make the effort to change.
As I'm writing this, I'm also realizing that in order for the BS to move on, they have to change too. I can't hold on to my old life, no matter how much I want to. The old marriage is dead and died a very long time ago.
One needs to rebuild a new marriage, and cannot do that alone.
The saddest thing is that we were so used to trying to make decisions for the marriage/as a couple, and now we have to focus on ourselves and our own healing and that is a great change and not an easy transition.


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, January 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

jtom, I am another who thought an affair was a dealbreaker and a LTA would mean throwing him out and locking the door. But like so many other traumatic or life changing situations, you don’t know how you are going to react until it happens to you. I had invested 29yrs with this man, had four children with him, my small business was based on his business, we had bought a house together and had other financial investments, our social life was interlaced, our parents often lunched together and saw each other socially. I was not going to give that up because he had shagged some old girl friend and then couldn’t find a way to finish it. Friends said to give it at least 6mths, another said a year because it would be a year of shit anyway if we got divorced. And looking at what was out there, I decided I was better off all round staying put. And I have also organised things so that if I do want to divorce, I can just press a button. I know what it all entails and what I am likely to get out of it. And besides, why should I let MOW have any of the package that I put together?
******

In many cases they appear to be looking for someone "better" than what they have. Or someone to fill the gap they see in their BS. Or simply because they wanted more than one partner.
I know several BSs on SI who have told me that their WSs loved to collect things. Always wanting more of something or a bigger and better something.
Never satisfied with what they have.
These are "glass half empty people".

I have the same thing too, but slightly different. For Mr UKg it was always job dissatisfaction. And still is. And it goes back to school. Began as having to be the best in the class with the most number of gold stars against his name. At secondary school it continued, had to be top in everything. Had to go to the best university. Had to be in the first team for everything - rugby, football, hockey, darts, snooker, Work - he has had so many jobs. It started out okay, seven yrs with the same company (rising star, 5 career moves in that time) but as soon as another guy was chosen over him for the National Sales Manager job (the guy who got it was about 40, H was 28) he went to another company and that flitting has continued ever since. He has been very well rewarded financially, but never made it to be CEO because he never stayed anywhere long enough! He left the last job because he “couldn’t work for a liar, cheat and charlatan” Hmmm!

Yep. Never happy and always looking for more or something else. And admiration and validation. A big and fragile ego constantly seeking reassurance.

Whatever it was, it wasn’t enough. It was almost as if he was out to sabotage all that we did have because somehow he didn’t deserve it. Or maybe he just wanted to be with his old gf. But then, he wasn’t happy with her either!!!

I've not read further back than a couple of pages, so hugs to all who still find themselves here (including me….!), to the newbies and the lurkers. I will catch up on the stories sometime.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
hopeandchange
♂ Member
Member # 33287
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, January 12th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The resentment was on my part. As I detached, I started to get pissed about what she has actaully done to me

7years..antoher member has a tag line quoting Ghandi - no one can hurt me without my permission. I thought what bullshit until I saw this. I can get pissed at how my W treated / treats me or I can choose not to accept it (many ways to do this). Good luck.

The maximizer will shop for a car and try every car in its class -- say it drives the audi, the BMW, the mercedes ... and then they'll want the engine of the audi, the seat heaters in the BMW, the sunroof on the mercedes... they'll eventually choose one, but these are the people who will say "it's nice BUT I wish it had..."

m3.. uh oh, I am a maximizer. I once spent six months shopping for the "perfect" watch and then did not buy one because I could not find it.

A satisficer goes with whatever meets the most of their requirements and doesn't second-guess. Their requirements might be quite high, but once they find something that meets all/most/enough of them they go with it and don't really look back.

Yea! I am a satisfier too!! Only once in 25 years have I experienced buyers remorse and that was short lived, less than 24 hours, and was about whether I could afford the mortgage.

I have to disagree though about the divorce rate of a LTA vs an affair of of few months

jton.. irrellevant. Everyone's situation is unique. Their decisions are unique. And their decisions may be different at different points in their lives.

Had I known what the last 2 years were to be, I would have never chosen to recommit to my M (and this was before I found out about the A). Today, I am still choosing to try and R (even though we are very far from R) and am looking forward to giving it a great effort.

But like so many other traumatic or life changing situations, you don’t know how you are going to react until it happens to you.

UKGirl.. so true and how we respond tells others and ourselves about our character. I am far from proud about some of the things that I have done because of WW betrayal but I AM VERY PROUD of 1) I have not physically attacked anyone 2) I listened to my WW on DDay when she told me about her A, tried to really listen and absorb, and did not yell at her then 3) am emerging from this mess, it is a journey, with the same capacity to give to others and enjoy the wonderful adventure of life 4) and have had the courage to try and R with the woman who became my best friend many years ago after she has betrayed me beyond the depths of anything I have known.

Life is grand. Enjoy it to the fullest.

h&c


BH (me, 50)
WS (her, 48)
Divorced!
3 wonderful teens
Heading for Happiness

Posts: 401 | Registered: Sep 2011
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 1:02 AM, January 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all

Firstly, apologies to all the newbies. I have been lurking, reading your stories, but not really taking them in and not posting much.

I remember the incredible support the tribe gave me in my early days. I am sorry I didn’t give you more support. The wonderful people on here are treasures. They will help you like no others.

LTA tribe you are like my brothers and sisters. You have no idea how much I love you all, particularly those of you who have been here with me from the early days.

I hope to be back soon to contribute as best I can.

Tribe, the last few months have been very hard. I felt I was at the point that I just couldn't get past the length and breadth of FWH's betrayal. I didn't post about it much because I knew that no amount of advice or insight or support would help. I just had to find a way through this myself.

Instead I read your posts daily and posted on JFO or Gen. I was able to communicate with relative strangers but found it so difficult to talk to my “tribe”.

During the last few months FWH was continuing to be very remorseful and trying to “make me happy”. He told me he loved me often, said he was sorry once a week or so and was always accountable. But he still refused to talk about it in spite of me continually asking him to do so. I was becoming sick of his cowardice. In my own mind I equated his refusal to talk with his continued selfishness – his inability, perhaps even refusal, to help me heal.

Finally, I gave myself a deadline. If he doesn't talk by the New Year then I'm done. He didn't in spite of my continual requests.

Finally on NY eve I gave him an ultimatum. Tell me all about it or we are done.

He asked, “What do you mean?”

I said “Just tell me the whole story from start to finish or pack your bags.”

He said “But where will I go?”

I said “I don’t know and I don’t care. It’s not my problem.”

So on Jan 1 he did. He went through it all from OW1 until dday. In what he said, I still heard some minimising but absolutely no blame-shifting. I think it was the whole truth but like all of us on SI I can never be sure.

Afterwards I really did feel so much better and I think he did too. I emphasised at the end of the conversation that I just needed him to talk about it. He said that he would. It is now almost 2 weeks since that conversation and he hasn't said another word. So I guess I am still in limbo.

It took a threat to make him “man up” and that is what is so sad. He knows I need him to talk about it but now that he sees the threat has gone he continues to be silent. I guess I see more and more that he (as Miracle would say) “does stupid really well”.

Prior to the conversation I set up my VAR. I wanted it word for word. In the past when he has given me snippets of the story I have sometimes forgotten details. When I asked a question later the response I got (as is often the case with WSs ) was “I already told you….”

So I have everything on audio. I have spent hours editing to take out names and places. I have created my own timeline of events (I could never get him to do that) again with no names except the first names of the OWs and their husbands.

I have been through both many times.

Listening to the audio I can almost be objective. However, the mindset of the WS and the OWs still astounds me. I cannot believe how lacking in integrity people can be. Even after all this time and thousands of hours on SI I still find it all so chilling.

So. That’s where I am at present. I do feel we are moving forward but it is such a slow and painful process. Today I am OK. I hope you all are too.

As I said, my timeline and audio have been edited to protect my privacy. I have found a site in the cloud where I can store these and share them with others. I have used an alias and a fake email to create this so my own privacy is protected.

If anyone would like these I am happy to share. Just pm me. I actually think the audio might be helpful to others. I only ask that you not share them with anyone in Australia.

On Tuesday FWH are going to New Zealand for a couple of weeks for a holiday. I will probably be out of touch.

But I will be thinking of you all often and praying you are at peace.

BIG HUGS to you all

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
0115
♀ Member
Member # 31740
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, January 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura,
I'm glad to see you post. You were very kind to me on my 1st post 1 1/2 ago. Whenever I "dream" I think of you. For the life of me I couldn't come up with one for that poster of yours...I finally did maybe 1 year later. Oh well...better late than never huh?
I'm sending you strength to get through maybe acceptance? Not sure really, but my thoughts are with you.

I don't post much but my very short update is that we are in a good place (usually). It's been almost 2 years since dday and there's been no contact. FWH came out of the fog permanently and couldn't be any better of a husband. It's just trying to let go of the past and not let IT contaminate my day. We have a beautiful family that has no clue and for that I'm grateful. He found his why and has worked very very hard to change himself through IC, retreats, and even diet/exercise. He's lost 65 pounds so far. For the newbies, it was a 12 yr LTA. I'm not done healing...there are a lot of scars but we're in a good place.
Hugs to the newbies and tribe!


BS (me) 49
FWH 49 newbeg2011
Married 29 years
Very Long LTA
DD 01/15/11-6/30/11
The hard work is done...let the healing begin.

Posts: 997 | Registered: Apr 2011
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 2:02 AM, January 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi 0115

So good to hear from you honey and wonderful to hear that your FWH is doing the best he can.

I hope all continues to go well for you.

It is such a long journey..... lets hope we all get there soon.

BIG HUGS

Laura



Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2729 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Teach8
♀ Member
Member # 36521
Default  Posted: 6:03 AM, January 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Laura...good for you for creating that deadline and sticking to it. Like you, I read more than I post. Most of the time I'm so confused myself I don't always feel like I can give sound advice. One minute I'm ok and the next I'm a wreck. I'm constantly wondering if I can get through this and somehow feel like a whole person again. This tribe has been a lifesaver for me. And I am always lurking. I find comfort from those who are closer to my dday and wisdom from those further along. Thank you all.


Me: BW. Him: WH. Dday: 4/26/12. TT until 8/15/12 LTA 7 years. Trying to R

Posts: 470 | Registered: Aug 2012
m334455
♀ Member
Member # 26893
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, January 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sad to say that Mr.M3 has suddenly lost his vision in one eye due to a blood clot :(


BW 38, 5 kids
Dday Dec. 2009

Posts: 4034 | Registered: Dec 2009
deeppurple
♂ Member
Member # 28757
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, January 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

M - so sorry - is this permanent or temporary?
Fingers crossed for you both.



Me - BS 49
Her - WS 43
Married 16 yrs (together 17 yrs)
DD13 DS10 DS8 DS6
DDay 1 6.4.2010 dday 2 7.25.2010
Heading for divorce.
"Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up"

Posts: 522 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Where the sun is shining & the surf is pumping
nofun
♀ Member
Member # 24546
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, January 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

M33 - So sorry about Mr. M3..please let us know how he is doing. That is scary.

I've been planning and organizing my business and getting ready to sell it and hopefully the building as a package. Things here haven't changed. I've accepted what has happened. FWH continues to rug sweep, doesn't want to speak about the A. His way of showing his love for me is doing "things", cleaning, protecting me in my business, etc. Other than that, it's the same ole shit marriage it was before.

I am looking to sell things off, free up some time, I want to spend more time with my grandbaby. I'm just hoping my company sells quickly. FWH and I just live together for convenience and for now it's ok.

Hugs to all.


BS (me) 56
WH 61
M 36 yrs
OW - 55 - Howdy Doody Look Alike
3 Awesome Adult C
DD 6/7/09
LTA 12 years.
Confused: D or R???

Posts: 987 | Registered: Jun 2009
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, January 13th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

M33

I'm so sorry honey. I hope they can find a way to treat this effectively.

BIG HUGS

Laura


Married 30yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 59yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA til dday).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

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