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User Topic: N P D Thread - Part 11
Ready4NewStart
♂ New Member
Member # 38871
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Luvlyla.....

I had to learn the hard way that NPD's will go to any lengths to keep you in the fold for their use. You are a disposable item to them.

I was lucky that I did not have any biological children with my NPD EXW..But I raised her two children for 7 years and wanted to maintain a relationship....She made that impossible..After I moved out she would get the kids to call me saying they "needed stuff" and could I please go put some money in mommy's account. I would later find out that "mommy" spent the money on herself. So I would give the kids gift cards for their clothes etc...That sent mommy through the roof.

I think you have a great plan in place with just email communication. IF your NPD spouse tries to manipulate you or project on you when you do have to talk..just hang up.

I had to learn the hard way that the only way to escape this madness was to totally escape. Easier for me due to no kids.

I wish you well on your journey of healing and will be glad to share anything I can about my experience.


Me: BH 42
WW: NPD
DD: 6/2009
Divorced: 4/2010

Posts: 14 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Southeast US
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

how do people read the delicate line between NC and contact re children only, when he constantly refers to "your anger" and draws you into an argument by a completely false version of history and pure denial!!!??

I would only contact or respond to his contact via email. If he didn't have a question, I didn't need to answer. For a while in the beginning I forwarded everything to a friend who highlighted the questions I NEEDED to answer and she would send the email back to me. I would send him an email answering his questions only. Then file both in my binder.

It was exhausting... but It helped me soo much to have her do that. I did the same for her with her XN. We have never met in person.. yet I count her among my closest friends.

In real life when he started to rewrite history.. my therapist gave me a business card. On it she had printed "Kajem knows the truth." It was a reminder that I KNOW the truth, no matter how much he twists it around.. I KNOW the TRUTH. So do my kids, so do you.

It won't happen overnight, but over years... others have come to know the truth also..the lies come out eventually. And they have started to come out for my X..10 years later.

Think marathon... this process is long and it is hardwork... but worth it.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I literally drew on XSO's strength and levelheadedness to get thru those times when I had to meet XH in person. I always had XSO with me. It helped a lot.

Anyway try not be alone with them, especially take along someone they do not know. For some reason the new person's opinion means more to them than someone they know. So they behave. I have found this true in other N relationships as well.

Hugs,

K

[This message edited by Kajem at 12:53 PM, April 11th (Thursday)]


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are a disposable item to them.

So true. Hardest part of it. Kalli, chances are no, he's not angry or thinking he pushed you too far. They're seemingly incapable of such thoughts. They don't deal with any negative emotions. Instead, they shift blame, twist reality, and find new supply to make them feel good. (Golfing sounds like your XN's)

I've been through this cycle so many times, and it seriously has me sick to my stomach, chest feels hollow and burning, every time I think of him. He never seems to care or do worse when we're not together. If anything, he's guy on the town, life of the party, travels, always has a smile, some new victim on his arm. It's why I did NC. Not as some punishment for him, but for a protection for me. I just can't see it, none of it.

Humans like us are the only ones that sit and feel the pain and go through the process. There's just no way to make it even. That part sucks, yes, but I'd rather be a human than a zombie. I'm happy to know I can make it through these little panic attacks or whatever they are without having to go find a new sex partner or party to attend or bash him all over town with totally twisted truth.

[This message edited by windowsnotwalls at 12:59 PM, April 11th (Thursday)]


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
Kajem
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Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anyone do a program for Narcissisic abuse recovery? If so which one? and was it worth it?

Thanks in advance.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh, I broke NC today, back and forth, short emails. I don't know WHY after all these years, after ALL I've read, experienced, etc, why I still get to a point when I'm away from him that I second guess myself. "Is he even NPD? Am I just crazy?"

Not ONCE, not ONCE in any of his messages today did he mention me or the kids AGAIN! He's absolutely incapable of even mentioning me unless it's in reference to something I've done that is so terrible to him.

He didn't even try to explain how my decision was such a betrayal. It was all just to make ME feel like he was so committed, like he had worked so hard, and I defaulted on our commitment for ending things. It's all my fault, again. WTFE.

Whether he's NPD or not doesn't matter. What matters is he IS selfish, he IS mean, he IS an abandoner, he IS a womanizer, he IS self-absorbed, he IS a liar. How did I waste so many years of my life loving this man? I loved a facade. He doesn't even exist.

........still waiting for the tears by the way. WTF? Why am I not crying yet? I think if I would cry it would be a release by now.

Earlier today I realized I started on the infidelity diet again unknowingly. Couldn't remember the last time I ate. I think it was a couple days ago. I know one day this week the neighbor's kids were here for dinner, and I ate a bowl of that, but don't remember what day that was, and I haven't eaten since then, I know. So I made myself eat a half a sandwich today. Fkn torture that was. I took the dog for a walk, he did amazing loose leash and heeling. I couldn't even stand to sit in my house when we came back, so I went outside on the porch awhile, just sat there, doing nothing, me and the dog laying next to me. I looked at him and said, "Now what?" When I came inside is when the emails started from him and my responding and all the back and forth.

The neighbor's on her way for an intervention. Thank God she's right next door. Need to get back to where I was the day I ended this insanity.

[This message edited by windowsnotwalls at 2:57 PM, April 11th (Thursday)]


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Calmer, neighbor came, brought me a benadryl, that it'll help keep me relaxed. also brought me a brownie.....don't normally even like sweets, but I did eat half of that thing, and it was actually amazing!

The talk was good. She said not to let him manipulate me. She reiterated all the amazing things this dog is doing for the family, that I need something to help me manage DD, that I can't keep doing that on my own, that he's barely fkn around even when we're together, so he's not gonna be the help I need, that I need stability, something constant in my life, that DS needs something to look forward to when he's here, that DS and DD need something to bond together with, and that even if none of that was true, that he is an AMAZING FKN DOG, so there is no reason anyone on earth should have an issue with him, that MrWNW is just jealous of the dog, that it takes the sole focus off him, he sees I'm focused on me and the kids, and again, just jealous it's not all about him. She said if I feel in anyway that this is my fault to immediately remember that is bullshit, that it's only him manipulating me. She's proud of me, proud I stood up for me and the kids, and she's here, through anything I need, that I don't need him in my life.

[This message edited by windowsnotwalls at 3:39 PM, April 11th (Thursday)]


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
Luvlyla
♀ Member
Member # 38692
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

R4NS - thank you so much, I've only come to realize via SI that he is most likely NPD, EVERYTHING adds up, every little thing. I still second guess and doubt it though, maybe i am being incredibly horrible to that poor guy who is trying so hard as he believes ( )

you are right, i need to start recognizing the bait to keep me in his fold, while I'm in contact, and let go of any hope that he is normal and / or actually wants me - as that only gives him power.

He said yesterday that we needed to meet for coffee alone and begin a surface reconciliation so we can be around my daughter together with no tension...

If he was a normal / nice guy, he would just be requesting to take her to cinema, or take her out, or buy her things and post them to her without any need to bother me(like you obvs did with your stepchildren. SI is also a great barometer of 'good person / normal behavior' for me!!)

I understand with the benefit of hindsight he was appealing and testing for whether there was a small part of me that wanted to meet him.

I would have if not for SI!! but not now.

Kajem - you're as ever a source of concrete inspiration, thank you. getting an intermediary is a brilliant idea. i roughly tried the question-focused idea on the phone yesterday, but had to repeat at least 20 times that he wasn't saying anything concrete that required a response from me, so i didn't see the need for a conversation. from now on i will only respond to actual requests, or to reinforce boundaries.

oh - he also got V. angry when i outlined a list of boundaries that he must not cross in relation to texting DD. They included not texting her gratuitously, or talking about emotions or missing him, just factual questions about activities. he was V. angry (hes not an angry or confrontational person at all) - but i was removing an opp for his manipulation! Is this a trait of NPD?

Also - I'm in it for the marathon, I've got no choice. He's busy sprinting from one starting line to the next, as long as he finished first in every one hes happy, but ill be sailing past him when hes all burnt out and hasn't left the same track.

WNW - I'm the same with NC, i thought naively i was doing it to evoke a response from him at the beginning, but now i know i need it for self protection. its so much better knowing when my phone bleeps that its definitely not him, and knowing when i sign into email or FB, he will never appear there.
Sorry you've had a setback today.

Im hardly in a position to advise you, but as i said above, i suspect once i let go of any hope that he will act as i want, i will get more strength for the NC. At the minute i know a small part of me is worrying that if i go all NC, then any attempts to get me back might get lost!! ridiculous!

Its his shit to figure out. his problem. im enjoying dumping it all back on his doorstep.

that's what you're doing with your NC too, youre giving his shit to him - and he doesnt like it, thats why his main concern is the 'terrible way you're treating him' (as if)

It has also helped me to repeat "that's not my responsibility" both to him, and in my head every time i try to make sense of his nonsense.

PS: Get a Burger King in you woman!!! and plenty of chocolate bars for late night calorie indulgence. (((hugs)))


When he's your Romeo,
and you're not his Juliet,
it means you are Rosaline
- and you survive the play.

Posts: 202 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: UK
Kalliopeia
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Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 5:47 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was told by some friends today what an a$$hole my ex is to most people. I guess he doesn't have the best reputation, so it made me feel a little less ganged up on.

I saw that he put his facebook page up. he unfriended me, haha. I felt a sting from that. Then he took it back down.

I know this is being directed at me. It feels like it was intended to provoke a response. I can see he is creating this public situation of rejection to me. Certainly he has communicated this to his 21 friends on there.

He is trying to promote what he always promotes: because I threatened ( and did!) tell that woman's husband about her, I am the sick, damaging, corrupt, and harrassing "bad one", so he is doing NC on ME because he has ended the relationship and is trying to keep from being abused.

Well if being told off for cheating, stealing, lying, getting other women pregant is abusing him, then I am GUILTY.

I also called him an ass, told him he could go eff himself, and told him he was acting like a POS.

I am curious, why is he perpetuating the drama he claims to hate, when I have been silent for the whole last week.

What can I expect next from this? Does he just sort of make good on dumping me and disappear?


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know Kallie, My XH did it to a point.. once the divorce was final and he got married to an even bigger (and more vindictive N) the crap really started to hit the fan.

My theory, there was a line of people she wanted out of his life, then his focus could be on her. I was first..his sister was next, eldest D was next, DD2 next, DD3, DD4, then his parents. She already did his friends.. and she is still working her way thru the list.

Things really started to go down hill in my marriage when the youngest DD started kindergarten.. before that when he came home from work all the kids would greet him at the door. yelling Daddy's home and you could feel the love and adoration from them. Once she started school there was homework.. and events, and after school activities.. he was no longer greeted at the door with adoration. So he started to get his adoration elsewhere...

I am struggling with NC today also... must be the moon or something in the cosmos. I will not call the XHNPD.. but I am struggling with calling the XSO... and so I sit on my hands..

Hugs...


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Kalliopeia
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Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I am here to hold your hand a bit. I know words often don't kill that urge. But. I heard today that my ex has been very arrogant and rude towards some friends of ours, lately.

There is nothing that turns me off another person faster than when they are disrespectful to people who work in the service industry. Waiteresses, servers at shops, etc.

Anyway mine was rude and got told off by someone higher up for it.

I haven't been able to read through all of the threads here on NPD, so I don't know everyone's story.

Remember your dignity and self esteem. And how you are and were just trying to live a basic good life. And this person imposed on you and sucked you in and did not respect you.

First we have to respect ourselves, don't we? If you call him, is he going to respect you and take care with your dignity? If there is a bad chance of that, avoid the man. I already know mine is actively on the look out for me. Not a chance in heck, for the forseeable future, does that man get to steal more of my self respect.


This is my boundry. I found I have one. Bet you have one like it :)


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Quote from Narcissim 101 about NPD:

"When you understand narcissists, it becomes easier to deal with them. They are the simply the most immature people on earth. They are pancake people, superficial, running around trying to puff themselves up, always looking for people to exploit and for people to admire them."


They are the Pancake People.
Remember when you want to break NC. You are doing it to interact with a Pancake People.

[This message edited by Kalliopeia at 10:39 PM, April 11th (Thursday)]


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 6:07 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Quote from Narcissim 101 about NPD:
"When you understand narcissists, it becomes easier to deal with them. They are the simply the most immature people on earth. They are pancake people, superficial, running around trying to puff themselves up, always looking for people to exploit and for people to admire them."


They are the Pancake People.
Remember when you want to break NC. You are doing it to interact with a Pancake People.

Couldn't agree more. Moved into angry stage finally. Anything but that sad one, lol. Forward moving today.


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

angry is just a form of pain for me.

I find it blackly amusing that he doesn't mind humiliating himself in front of hundreds of people, but somehow if I embarressed him in front of 3-4 people by telling on his woman friend, then I am a subhuman monster who he gives up on.

He has bravely put his facebook page back up. I think he is preparing for incoming from me, because usually he sets up this stage like a king and sits there waiting for me to approach. Then HE beats me up verbally and emotionally and when he thinks I am sorry and humble enough, he will deign to "try" again, making sure I am on my knees the whole way, while he exercises more damaging actions on me.

Not this time. Never again. Never never again.

What are you feeling angry about most today?


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
windowsnotwalls
♀ Member
Member # 36983
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What are you feeling angry about most today?

Wasted time and energy. Wasted breath, wasted dreams, wasted effort, wasted four years of my life.

...and it just dawned on me the dog has higher standards than me. He's amazing, loyal, does whatever I ask.....pending I never leave him alone. He's always with me or the neighbor, never on his own. I'm pretty sure if I left him alone for 18 days, he sure in the hell wouldn't be the same dog I left. He wouldn't be trying to figure a way to be good enough for me not to leave again. He'd probably bite my hand off. ESPECIALLY, if I left him alone, over and over and over again. He would no longer be that loving, loyal, do anything I ask companion.

Why do I have lower standards than the dog? Why did I accept all that for so long? I'm pissed about it. Pissed at him, and pissed at me.

[This message edited by windowsnotwalls at 9:21 AM, April 12th (Friday)]


"She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her way, she adjusted her sails" (Elizabeth Edwards).
http://youtu.be/62oby83NtGw
Forever Conditionally Detached

Posts: 503 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Pittsburgh, PA
curiouswiz
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Member # 34405
Default  Posted: 9:31 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been reading about NPD for three days now. That makes me angry.

It's his birthday and I feel bad for him. That makes me angry.

It's his birthday, he has no money, the checking acct. is overdrawn again and I feel bad for him. That makes me angry.

He's definately NPD. There is no question in my mind nor my heart, he is NPD. That makes me angry.

More than 20 years of emotional abuse and I'm the only one grieving the loss. That makes me angry.

I feel bad for him, still. He's destroyed a good life and it was my life. That makes me so damn angry.


God bless us, everyone.

Posts: 600 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Boston
Kalliopeia
♀ Member
Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From Melanie Tonya Evans:

"This powerful tip really helped me get through the no contact stage, and I believe it will really help you keep no contact for good.

Note: This is one of the only times I suggest rehashing the pain of the narcissist, and I promise you it's for a very good cause.

This is the process.

Step 1. Think about the times your narcissist violated your boundaries, was abusive and behaved poorly. Write these incidents down.

Step 2. After you have written these incidents down write in bold red pen the following statement:

"I (your full name) acknowledge that these behaviours are not acceptable, are abusive and do not match my deservedness and truth. These behaviours are NOT MY REALITY, not now, and not ever again".

Now each time you feel the emotional hooks and the addiction to the narcissist dragging your emotions down, re-read this list and your powerful declaration to yourself.

This helps remove the illusion that the narcissist is someone lovable, someone you can heal, someone who is worth being in a relationship with, and someone who has the resources to be a loving partner.

You will find this process extremely helpful when you are feeling the pain of the loss of the narcissist, and the 'dreams' that he or she seemed to represent.

It gets your focus off 'the good times' and back to the reality of who the narcissist really is."


I am having a hard time, too. I don't want to contact him to love on him. I want to tell him how horrible he has made me feel.

And I am thinking about how my boundries were violated and my love was leveraged to scare me into compliance.

That compliance was not in alignment with my values and as a result, I allowed this person to hurt me on deep levels.

I am sad and sorry he does not love me enough to be basically decent person. I can't control him and piror to this my agony and rage over the feeling of hurt, the frustration of trying to negotiate change and getting it thrown back into my face.. my hurt and rage and panic led me to lash out in ways I never dreamed I would at anyone and make threats to tell everyone on the planet about his terrible actions and to try and leverage control back over what he was doing.

This ended terribly for me and I never want to be violating my own code for living like that ever again.


I would rather have a good dog than a POS man.


Posts: 478 | Registered: Mar 2012
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:46 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The struggling to NOT contact is XSO... the Mid life crisis cliché. Recent events have triggered this reaction.

He was a decent guy... he knows me best, treated me with respect (until MLC anyway)..

I know this will pass,

I know he is not who he was.

I know expecting him to meet my emotional needs is not good for me.

I know I need to meet my emotional needs.. I just don't know how to do that just yet.

Time.. that dang blasted word... it will come.

Hugs,

K

PS... great quotes from other places...


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Ready4NewStart
♂ New Member
Member # 38871
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kalli and Windows......

Considering how recent your discoveries are that you were dealing with a NPD I think you both are doing great. Much better than I was. Getting past the self loathing and to the anger stage is huge.

Great advice above about writing down the episodes that caused you pain, violated boundaries etc...I think I should share this part of my story in case any of you think NDP can be cured or if you are thinking of trying to R with them..

Dday for me was in July 2009. Moved out that month and filed for divorce. D was final in 4/2010..NPD EW went to counseling (was court orderd after losing custody of her kids). I did not maintain NC, but got my own place and just started IC and dealing with the mess my life had become. Will I never got totally sucked back in during this time, I never did NC or detached myself from the insanity. My main contact was either sex (sorry I am a man) and seeing the step children when she had them Her 1st husband had asked me to be the supervisor.

Things went on this way until June of 2012..I had seen improvements in her, but I was not living with her and did not spend a lot of time with her at all. Looking back on it it is so easy to see now. I got a higher paying job at this time and guess who starts talking about R ? She smelled blood in the water. I started spending more time with her...but I made her come to my place, said there could be zero contact with OM, could check her phone, email etc anytime I wanted.

In as little as two months this is what I discovered..She was still having an EA with OM (had him listed as Darlene in her phone) She received a call from a supposed (male friend only) GF telling her to never call him again (This was a huge drama that took place at my house) The one time I did go to her house (she has since been evicted) I found a rubber in her nightstand...lol she tried to tell me it was a friend of hers...She had to get her cell phone records printed out for her court case and after looking through them, her and the OM were texting and talking all the time (he had a serious GF at this time)The icing on the cake though was she was at my house and had checked her email on my laptop....I found an airline Eticket for her to fly to Jax FL the next day...This was too good for me to pass up.

The flight was for 6am the next morning..Sure enough about 4am she got up and said she was not feeling well and was going home...I just waited all day..About dinner time she texted and said she was at dinner with a GF and her kids and might come over later...lol. I never heard back from her that night. That was Sat. On Sunday she texted and said she had gone MT Biking and did not feel well and was going to bed...This was too much for me and I took a picture of the plane ticket, texted it to her with a message that said "So there are Mts. in Florida now ?" I did not hear back form her till Monday.

The excuses ran far and wide..."He is just a friend." "It was a free trip and I needed to get away." etc..She even went as far as to send me a pic of the guy saying "look at him..Do you really think I be interested."

The good news is I was not emotionally invested this time and got a crystal clear picture of what I was dealing with...When I was married to her, I was in denial and deep in the fog. She had a few things at my place and I packed them in a trash bag and took them to her house.

Have not seen her since 8/2012 or spoken with her on the phone..

A friend of hers told me that she saw some cards of a romantic nature that a married police officer of a different race had given her during this same time period as well.

The good news is I survived and am healing now..I could go on all day, but hopefully this will help some of you to realize that you cant ever fix your NPD..NC is the way to go and if you do have to communicate do it by email.


Me: BH 42
WW: NPD
DD: 6/2009
Divorced: 4/2010

Posts: 14 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Southeast US
Kalliopeia
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Member # 35053
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, April 12th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The usual deceit you see with these people I guess. You gave it a real try.


I am still silly enough to be watching this guy.. he took his facebook page back down. I know how he is thinking. He is "thinking" I am going to try and talk to him there. I have no intention of it, except that it is hurtful and irritating to me for him to see himself as so victimized by me that he is taking such public actions to save himself.

I actually find it provocative.

Do you guys think he is trying to provoke me or he is so terrified of me that he is trying to protect himself or something.

I find these actions weird and I feel more of an impulse to smack him around than if he just went about his business.


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