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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread - Part 11
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:28 AM, May 21st (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SH- He wouldn't bluff the court ?? We know he would but you saw how bad he looked. His terminal diagnoses could have been if he didn't do this and this he has less than 5 yrs to live. Who knows..
Prayers and mojo that he doesn't show but they don't do a continuance either.
Hugs and know we are with you in spirit. All your NPD education will have a pay off tomorrow !!

Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Saw this today... sending Positive Karma your way... good mojo and prayers that the courts see the truth and act on it.

Hugs for you too.

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4025 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's OVER! It was like shooting fish in a barrel, because he didn't show up, and the judge listened to every word I said regarding the history of abuse, what it's done to DS, and so on.

I got FULL custody, and DS does NOT have to have visitation at all unless HE wants it! I'm finally as free of my EX H as I can be till he dies! Everything was divided the way I wanted, and it all came out fine. Didn't even have to call witnesses!

I'm having a celebration pizza with DS and BFF, and BFF and I are having a drink! WOO HOO!!! I'M SINGLE!!!


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations, SoHurt! Can't believe it's finally over after all you have been through!

Hope you have a fabulous time tonight!


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOO HOO!!! I'M SINGLE!!!

OMG!!! That is the GREATEST news!! I am SOOOOOoooooooo happy for you. Enjoy that pizza. What a relief.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What wonderful news SoHurt!!! Thank God!!! I'm so happy for you!

Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, May 22nd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome!!!!

Wow party in the NPD forum.... so cool.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4025 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 2:15 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't thank you, my beloved Tribe, enough for all the support and comfort. It was sure a long haul, and I'm completely exhausted, but at long, long last, it's finally come around! I couldn't have done it without you all, and I'm SO grateful!

Interestingly enough, BFF was searching around on FB, and what did she find? My dear, sweet, oh-so-Christian EX has been in a relationship with a 33 year old (he's 59!) from Saudi Arabia "for some time," and it was announced on Sunday. Not even divorced and he's announcing his new relationship. I started laughing! No wonder he didn't show for court. We've really been too much hassle for him! And I'm sure she sees a green card in her future.

They had a pukefest-worthy goo session under the announcement, with congrats from several people. So all the while he's giving me the hardest time and being an ass of the highest order, he's lined up his next victim. I'm SO shocked.

Anyway, at least it means he'll leave us alone and move along, until she gets her green card.

Ain't love grand?


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 2:28 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations, SoHurt! How wonderful to hear a happy court story on the NPD thread!

I hope the pizza celebration was awesome!


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Doing the happy dance !!


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, May 23rd (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So hurt


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2373 | Registered: Jan 2010
Edie
♀ Member
Member # 26133
Default  Posted: 2:33 AM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Late to the party but dancing and clapping and raising my glass to you So Hurt anyway. Fantastic!


Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 DDs 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) Feb 09 16 other OW confessed. OW17 tried her unedifying hardest until Aug 09. R'd.

Posts: 4960 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: UK
soverybetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 32948
Default  Posted: 4:02 PM, May 24th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So Happy for you SoHurt!! Finally you have dropped that NPD weight and can be happy with your new freedom. You deserve the best there is in this life and I know that you will find it. You will love every minute of your new life without all those eggshells.

I found a t-shirt at Old Navy that says exactly how I feel "Single...and Loving It" I think that everyone in the Tribe should get one when their divorce is final. It is such a struggle to remove them from our lives and so our freedom is so very special to us.

Congrats again SoHurt!!


Me-53
DDay 10/16/2010 DDay2 5/22/2011
Divorced 8/23/2012
I will get stronger and better but no matter where he goes, there he is....

Posts: 1194 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Being an AWESOME ME!
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, May 25th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the congrats, guys! I can't believe how different I feel!

DS and I are sleeping better, (I slept off and on all day yesterday from exhaustion!) so much less stressed we're amazed, happier, my quitting smoking is going easier... Everything changed with that decree. It's still kind of not fully sunk in, because I have to remind myself that I'm single.

For anyone still fighting to get out, please know that it really does get better, and the weight that comes off is even better after the divorce than it was after the separation! Keep going. Keep fighting to get free. It's so worth it!


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:40 AM, May 26th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations!
Love the freedom from bondage!

Posts: 6019 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
SkeerdButHopeful
♀ Member
Member # 27541
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Back story: Constant (24/7) harassment from XH-NPD through the divorce and one year later. Judge issued no contact order, but it has since expired. Now the emails are starting again. Most contain a few sentences about DD8, followed by what a horrible person I am for not communicating with him one-on-one.

Email from X:

And to you I'd like to say this: You need to start communicating and put the poor victim show behind you. You are 45 and you need to start acting like an adult. I know you enjoy getting sympathy and getting me in trouble when I say things you don't like. I get it.
But that does not benefit anyone. It does not benefit anyone. It does not benefit anyone. No one acts that way. No one except children under 6 years old anyway.
People can just not like something and live without pretending they have been somehow abused and need to go cry and tattletale to get someone into trouble. It's how grown ups normally function. It's how you need to start functioning.

If you have a problem and you just can't act like an adult due to some sort of emotional or mental problem, let me know what the problem is - get it diagnosed, get professional help with it and let me know what it is. It's time (way past time) to stop all the silliness.
Life is difficult enough without adults acting like children and getting others into senseless trouble. I don't treat you like that, and there is absolutely no reason you should act that way. Just for the record - I don't think you are trying to be an asshole. I think that's how it turns out though. I think you do it because you have some sort of emotional underdevelopment issue. I'd like for you to fix that somehow. But, you haven't gone out of your way to put yourself aside for the betterment of others. Now is the time to stop being selfish in that respect. Now is the time to act like an adult and work together and put all that silliness behind us. And I hope you will.

This email followed:

Just a bit of clarification on that last part: You know how you can't look at me or speak to me? Like when we drop DD8 off? You know what im talking about? Is there a point to that? If you look and speak are you afraid you'll.... What? Get spoken back to?
Are you afraid something crazy will happen and we might break out in a frenzy of acting like adults? That kind of stuff is pointless and silly and i would say it sends the wrong message to DD8, but even a little child like her realizes its weird. (Mommy say hi to daddy). If you have a purpose behind acting that way, be a grown up and say what it is and we can figure out how to fix the problem. If you don't have a reason for it, just stop and be an adult. Ok? It's not difficult. It just takes a little effort and the realization that there actually are things more important than yourself.

I am sooooo tempted to respond that the reason I don't look at him is because I can't stand to look at his worthless POS lying ass, but I am doing my best to refrain from engagement. What do you guys think?


Me BS45. XWH44 NPD. M 8 yrs. DD8. Dday 1/26/10. DIVORCED 5/16/11. Harassment charges twice. Judge ordered NCO for 1 yr, as well as parenting & anger mgmt classes. NCO has since expired, so harassment continues disguised as concern for DD.

Posts: 781 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: USA
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crickets girl.... Crickets....

WB


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5893 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wouldn't bother..

Does he repeat himself in person or was that for your benefit?

I see nothing that needs to be addressed. Of course you could write him a letter and just never send it. I have a whole folder full of em.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4025 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree - crickets - otherwise, as he says, "It does not benefit anyone, it does not benefit anyone, AND it does not benefit anyone."


Me: BW-43
Him: XWH-43
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4160 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
honesttoafault
♀ Member
Member # 27105
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG, is there a handbook that these NPD's have???

My WH could have written that whole thing. Are you sure it isn't the same guy???

No one acts that way
.

WH has said over and over to me almost the exact same thing: "People don't act that way" and that there is something mentally wrong with me.

Geez!!!

I agree with the others, don't engage. Don't answer. You said that there was a NC order and it's expired? Save these stupid emails and see if you can continue the NC order.


Posts: 1903 | Registered: Jan 2010
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