Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Turtles (43206)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread - Part 11
loveisareddress
♀ Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I wrong? Some of this may not make any sense. I am trying to sort out a four hour circular argument that went all over the place and mostly consisted of his rewriting history.

Background(some)here:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=496842

So it's been about a month. I told him several times that I would not be attending the wedding.
Things were quiet for a while, aside from a couple of little blow ups on his part. I've been expecting a doozy and somehow I knew it would happen last night.

He's been trying to get close to me and get me to engage(I'm in modified 180 for a long time)so he can blow up again.

It starts when he asks me if I've purchased a dress to wear to the wedding.

No.

Are you going to? Do you have anything to wear?

No. We discussed this a few weeks ago, remember? I said I'm not going. Remember? Why is this an issue right now? It should be a done deal.

According to him, I am splitting up the family by refusing to attend.

According to him, SD(bride) didn't come to see him on Father's Day or her younger stepsister on her birthday because of me.

Note: This is a blended-no pureed-family. There are several sets of parents now that a future SIL is in the picture. On Father's Day, they probably went to go see SIL's dad. They kind of make the rounds and rotate visiting because there are so many people to consider.

But no, I'm splitting the family up.

He's very upset and telling me that I have to go to the wedding. If I don't, I'm splitting up the family and causung SD to stay away.

Somewhere in the middle of this he screams, "She's my only daughter!"

I told him I couldn't believe some of the shit that comes out of his mouth and I hope our other daughter didn't hear it.

Some other shit that came out of his mouth recently:

My son does not have a right to an opinion because he's not paying the bills.

I'm not family.

I told him sometimes when he says this stuff I stop and look at him and think Oh-so this is how you really feel. This is really who you are.

And it floors me.

I looked all over the place for her. She was outside. After the yelling subsided, she went straight to bed.(It was only about 7 PM) I still don't know if she heard that. I hope not.

I never even wanted to talk about it. I wish I could have just walked away.

It turned into a four hour circular argument where he rewrote every point in history that I brought up to make my point about how it's him splitting up the family.
He cried and pleaded with me.
Put on those crocodile tears about how distant I am and how lonely he feels.

Because it is him.

He wonders why I don't want to go anywhere with him.

He wonders why the kids-especially our youngest daughter(excuse me-MY youngest daughter, remember he only has one daughter-the SD!

)sometimes seem to avoid him.

I told him it's you.

They can hear you when do this. When you yell and scream and all of it. They don't like it either.

I'm always supposed to be the bigger person and suck it up and deal. For the most part, I have been.

But there's no payoff.

I feel like I am being punished for marrying him, or for things that someone else did to him.

I get punished every time I try and draw a line and enforce some kind of boundary. I'm not trying to be mean or spiteful.

I'm just tired of overlooking it all just to keep the peace.

It's like my only purpose in life is to take their abuse. If I deviate from the role of scapegoat and refuse to play it, I am punished.

I asked him "Why is it so important to you that I'm thrown into this room full of toxic people? I told you I don't want to be around them."

He claims it's all about family.

If family is so goddamned important to him, he could have straightened up by now.

He just keeps on with all his bullshit about rewriting history and blaming me for everything.

What I can't figure out is...


Is he doing this intentionally to get me to blow up like he does?

Or does he really believe the lies he's telling me and himself when he rewrites history like that?

No matter what the reason is, the very idea that he does this should send me running for the hills.

Because it's very sick.

It's sick and dishonest to live like that. Always rewriting history and lying continuously about what really happens.

It's like he lives in an alternate reality.

I'm splitting up the family.

Really?

I didn't do anything wrong.

I didn't call anybody up and tell them one lie after another about their spouse.

How am I splitting up the family?

This is his doing. He never stepped up to the plate and straightened all this shit out when he should have. It was always easieer to be mad at me and blame me than to do the right thing.

Am I wrong?

[This message edited by loveisareddress at 10:38 AM, June 27th (Thursday)]


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 437 | Registered: Aug 2012
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 11:13 AM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

N&N, sorry it took a while to get back. Here's what I mean when I say our scripts are the same:

WH: I guess I realized what the stakes are.

n: and you didn't realize before:

WH: I guess I did and I didn't. I don't know. I never thought it would get to this point.

n: why?

We said almost those exact words just two or three months before I tossed him out.

WH: So is there anything I can do at this point?

n: (I read the portion of his letter to him where he said he would do anything). So, what are you thinking? What are you thinking you need to do?

WH: I don't know if you want me to go to counseling, if you want me to get my STD test, I mean.... things you've brought up in the past.

Again, almost word for word.

WH: I don't feel that I am (a history re-writer, liar, etc. in my case), but if you feel that I am, then I'll go and do the work.

He insisted we go to therapy together before I could decide on divorce. I wavered back and forth, but finally did it with a warning in private to my therapist that he was probably an NPD. She saw it in the two sessions we did. But it was just a way to hold me off, to manipulate the therapist, and thereby manipulate me.

WH: Honey, it's not lackluster. I'm telling you, I will do the things you want me to do - and I will do it with energy, I'll do it with conviction, I will do it.

This came after watching "Courageous," when he literally stood up in front of DS and I and puffed out his chest, raised his chin, stuck his arms out in that goofy "they're so big they won't hang straight down" style, and said, "I take this vow." I kid you not. He made a huge show of it.

WH: I understand. I understand. I'm not going to fight anything, I'll do what you want me to do with a smile on my face and an open mind and with the hope of finding answers and making myself a better person and making this a better M. I know my affect is kind of flat - I'm exhausted. I'm sorry about that. I'll do it without complaint and without delay. I will go into with a complete open mind and a complete desire to find the answers and make myself a better person. I mean, I know I'm better than this; I know I'm better than what I've done. And once and for all, I just want to make it right. And maybe it won't work - maybe it won't be good enough for you, I don't know....

Again, almost verbatim from mine. And yes, it's to make it look like they tried and we didn't. Nevermind the YEARS spent.

n: I don't know. I told you you were killing my love for you - you've just destroyed it. And (CSAT) even told you, is it worth getting a D over? I guess you thought it was just a game and we could just keep sticking our heads in the sand. My eyes have been opened and I just can't tolerate it anymore. I just can't go on with the type of M we have - it's no way to live. I feel like my soul is dying.

This part almost made me cry, because I told him exactly the same thing, and he said, "That's sad." Nothing else.

I could go on, but I think you get the point. Our lives are very similar in the things we experience, sometimes even to the point of verbatim conversations. It's kind of scary, but at the same time, comforting. At least we pretty much know what to expect when we realize who we're dealing with, right? Not a LOT of comfort, but some. And there is a lot more comfort in knowing the Tribe understands what the general public does not.


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:05 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seems that 'sadness' is the emotion they are most familiar with, and the one they can most easily mimic - since they're obviously sad about not getting their fair share, not getting their entitlement.
Also, despite the charm mask, being sad is their default, the thing they are most familiar with...inside, since they forever seek, back-and-forth,
between the monster they hate
and the constructed unicorn

...for something real.

If anything at all is true about N's, the closest thing is:
they are sad creatures.

I wish we could all sit around & sip coffee while listening to wisdom like this.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8778 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thoughts on what is going on?

N & N,
It's really hard to say. He could be excited about getting his own place for his sexcapades while still remaining married to you.

His "hurt and annoyed" look is just to invoke sympathy from you. His "confusion" over seemingly not understanding the severity of the situation is manipulation. Plain and simple. He will drag this out as long as he can.

He is playing on your kindness. And he KNOWS that you want things to work out. He is playing on that. He is going to drop any tiny breadcrumb he thinks will keep you on the hoping hook.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Loveisareddress,
According to him, SD(bride) didn't come to see him on Father's Day or her younger stepsister on her birthday because of me.

Well, better then that you don't go to the wedding.

Go and stay NC with him. You cannot have a productive conversation with someone like this. Not only is it impossible, it's exhausting.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
loveisareddress
♀ Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. He's not normal. I try to stay busy so I don't have to talk to him.

I normally can keep from getting sucked in.


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 437 | Registered: Aug 2012
BelleStar
♀ Member
Member # 13515
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If the bride would stop and think about it, she should be glad you have opted to not attend given her feelings towards you. Take the high road and avoid all this conflict. So what if this makes him have to make up some lame excuse about your absence...I'm sure they will both run you down regardless. Toxic people should be avoided at all cost! Save Yourself!

Posts: 1105 | Registered: Feb 2007
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was just wondering if anyone else had noticed a strange- almost non-existent- connection with food in NPDs? I've noticed a pattern of this in the NPD females I've known. I joke with H about NPDSIL. She never eats- or she's never SEEN eating, anyway. I told H it's because she eats souls instead.

(((n&n)))

NPDs are VERY MUCH like dealing with two year olds. Once you step away from the crazy, though, their antics are almost amusing. H had something happen yesterday (while visiting with NPD MIL & SIL) that probably would have hurt his feelings a few years back, but he came home and told me about it and we just sat there laughing at the ridiculousness of it.


Posts: 10967 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: North Carolina
loveisareddress
♀ Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 7:08 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They're like the dementors in Harry Potter.

They suck up all your happiness.


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 437 | Registered: Aug 2012
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, June 27th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They're like the dementors in Harry Potter.

I almost want to cry, that's so scary EXACTLY what I thought of STBX. He was a dementor, and when I saw the HP movie with them in it I had to stifle a scream.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8778 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 1:58 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I have to share a shocker. A page or so back I posted the convo between my NPD SA WH and I after I filed for D. He SAID wants to do anything to save our M (and we know his words mean nothing), but today he SHOWED me his STD test results, which he got done on Monday (like he said he would). Now I am confused, but I guess I continue with the D and continue to watch his actions.


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So he finally got tested, after how long again?
How hard is it to get tested?
Really.

It looks like a crumb
from the crumb cake
a crumb baked.

& this:
"I haven't had any sex with anybody of any type except for you in 20 years"

Am I missing something?
Per your sig, is that not a giant ass lie?

Carry on Paduan.


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
HURTAGAIN1981
♀ Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nandn,

Hopefully this is just my suspicious mind going bonkers!

I assume the test came back clean? Can I suggest that you verify with the clinic that he was tested there? Just to make surethat iit's not a fake test that he knocked up on the pc. The reason being that as a narcissist, I would have expected him brag about getting it done. But it seems he went to get it and then waited how long to tell you? Is it because he was worried that something may show up and he wanted to make sure it was clean before showing you?

[This message edited by HURTAGAIN1981 at 11:49 AM, June 28th (Friday)]


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nandn,

What do you want to do?

You have 3 options...
1. move ahead
2. go backwards
3. do nothing.

Personally, I think I would keep with the status quo and watch for more actions on his part without me repeating myself over and over again. I would want to make sure he was listening to me. BUT - that is me and I am not you.

You do need to ask yourself if he does everything you ask of him.... is it enough? is it in time? or has his year of inactivity cost him the marriage?

Only you can answer those questions.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, June 28th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for your responses.

I have all the thoughts that you have had (are the test results real, why didn't he tell me that he had gotten them done)

I didn't think about him having to make sure they were clean before he showed them to me or that this is just a crumb.

Also, Kajem, you are right - I don't know if he does everything now if it would be enough.

I am just shocked that he actually did it after everyone predicted that he wouldn't. Just threw me for a loop, that is all.

He has taken only the first step on the journey of a thousand (a million?) steps, so he has a llllloooooooonnnnggg way to go before I even start to believe in his earnestness. But, I bet he will burn out way before then.


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:43 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4021 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 1:33 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tonight we talked about telling the kids. I asked what we should tell them about the possiblity of us getting back together. He said we should tell them that we are going to try.

I want to ask him if he has made an appt with a CSAT, but I don't want to appear that I want him back. If he has not made the appt, then I can say that there is no chance of us getting back together and spare the kids the heartache of it being a possibility.

I think he is being P/A; he is saying that he will do anything to save our M, but he will not do what I ask and just won't discuss it so I can be the bad guy who has to say I am ending our M and there is no chance for R. Arggghhhh! Thoughts/suggestions?


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
HURTAGAIN1981
♀ Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nandn,

Tell him you are not ready to tell the kids one way or another yet, that you will give it x amount of time to see if he has done all that you have asked up to now. If he hasn't by that time, then you will be telling the kids that you will not be getting back together.

I read your DDays. It seems almost a yearly thing with him.

What did you think to yourself after you found out he had cheated the first time and tried again? Did you think that if he does this again then that it is?

From what I can see, you have had three of them so far and he doesn't seem remorseful or doing everything he can. You believe him to be NPD. If this is the case, and NPD is very unlikely to change. I don't think they are capable of it, and they're not capable because they don't think there is anything wrong with them.

Really think about what YOU want deep down inside here.


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
HURTAGAIN1981
♀ Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, June 29th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure who's here on this thread who is aware of what my NPD did or my story, but I think a few are.

I wanted to type this to get it out and get some advice/support/insight or anything at all.

We broke up back in April. The treatment from him was just appalling and I could no longer take anymore. Since then he had been in constant contact with me, saying he missed me, wanted me back, wanted to try again. At first he almost sucked me back in, but then I kept finding things out about him that I wasn't happy with. So eventually, I got in into my head that I was NEVER going to be able to return to him. When this happened, it helped a little and I knew I had to start trying to move on. However, I wasn't ready to cut off all contact with him. So I continued to talk to him. I could see the manipulation tactics he was using. I didn't tell him this but it was pretty funny in a way. In my mind I thought I would keep him hanging as payback for what he had done. Let him think that his trickery was working on me, when it wasn't.

I finally agreed to see him in person after about two months of this. It was more for my benefit to see how I felt about it all. TBH I was a little bored in his company. I realised that the feelings I thought I had were gone, or at least almost gone. It helped me in a way to see him.

I kept watching. Despite telling me how he wanted to try again, he was active on dating sites, I saw this by last online times. Still didn't add me to Facebook bla bla bla.

The last time I saw him was Wednesday. He asked me to go over and as I did, his mate turned up at the same time. I was not amused as he didn't tell me his mate was joining us.

I was BORED. At about 1:30am I put on my coat, got my bag and decided to leave. He begged me not to go so I stayed, but mainly because of the fact that I had had 2 drinks and knew I would be over the limit to drive, but I was not drunk at all. His friend was staying over and slept in the living room and so I stayed in his room with him but not intending on doing anything with him at all! He tried it on and things got scary. He had hold of my leggings and underwear and tried pulling them off. I grabbed them and he kept trying to pull them down, very forcefully and it was hard to keep hold of them. I kept telling him no. He mocked what I had previously said, saying oooh we can't do this and we can't do that and said they're coming off anyway. I managed to pull them back up and push him off me. People here have said in the past that he sounds dangerous, I laughed it off at the time but now I really do think he is capable of it. It was as if he was one step away from rape.

After I got him off me, he was huffy and I ignored him and he ignored me.

We had words after that and he was still maintaining that he wanted to try again. He had no idea of all that I knew about him.

Last night I went out with some friends and I was shocked to see him out with his mate and two girls (same ones that left the sanitary towels at his place, which was one of the reasons we split in the first place).

He didn't see me or at least I don't think he did.

I had been drinking and got so angry with all that had been building up, all that I knew that I was keeping hidden and I went berserk.

I am going to post the conversation, if anyone wants to read it they can and I would love some feedback or insight.

Before I do, I have to point out that I am not a nasty or viscous person at all. But it is how I will come across in the messages. I was just so angry and please forgive the language.

Here goes...

After I spotted him with those whores I messaged him.

Me: You're a c**t, don't ever talk to me again

Him: ?

Me: I'm not blocking you and deleting your number. I'm in the same place and I saw you with those whores. Don't you dare try to contact me again

Him: Ah my friends :)

Me: F**k off sick f**k.

Bit of arguing about because I said about them staying at his place and he said they weren't and only his mate was.

Him: Delete and block me like you said. I'm a huge c**t

Me: Right ho, proved you were up to no good. And I've had a very in depth conversation with someone who knows you very well so you should hope I don't post it to everyone on your Facebook! Thank you for being a lying, cheating c**t all along. Even when we were official or at least your version of it you were still active on a dating site (I only found this out the other day) in January "wanting to learn naughty tricks". You accused me once by saying Christmas was a lie. Yes it was because of you. And no, your ex didn't cheat on you. Lying bastard. How do I know? Because I asked her. So yes Christmas was a huge fucking lie on your part when you felt the need to send her a gift and a card which I didn't get saying... and I quote "what he bought me was a box set of The wire... he sent a card too which said 'I remember you saying that you would have to pick this up one day. I'm so sorry about everything that I did and not making you feel special. You are the best person I have ever known xxxx'. So yes Christmas was a lie because of you and your lying ways! You are fucking disgusting! And don't for one minute think people don't know what you are like because they do! When I described the problems to her she said that she had the same shit with you. Explicit Facebook messages to whores from work. Makes sense considering tonight and also the fact that you were always trying to bed girls behind her back when you went out with mates. It was (his friends name) that warned her about that so don't you doubt that people don't know what you're like!

Him: Goodbye. I honestly felt like i was getting happy again when with you. I missed my ex alot, so much in fact and yes she DID cheat on me. You're foul going to that length and not even allowing me to forget my past by trying to move forward. You dug up my old past that I wanted to forget, its why I was VERY angry that you allowed Tom to ruin everything. I wanted us to move forward, I was with my friends tonight and just Rhys is staying with me. Im ashamed

Me: Yeah whatever. You're a liar

Him: Ashamed you went that far behind my back. I wanted to say a final goodbye to someone before moving on with my life. Goodbye. Maybe one day you'll forgive me and we can try. Right now im in a very dark place thank you

Me: We can try? Are you fucking crazy? I didn't go behind your back. You're a fucking liar. I have no clue how a person ends up the way you do. You're a compulsive liar, I think you're sick in the head. You had a good person in her, you fucked it, you had the same here and you fucked that too

Him: And on top of that that, denying you were with anyone and my existence. Hurt a lot. So it was all a lie. I know this now. You can fuck as many sluts as you like. It won't get you anywhere. You need to sort it out for you so that you don't pass up on the next decent person that crosses your path!

Him: Last person I slept with was my ex before you. You don't have to believe me and right now I don't blame you. And I wanted to rework things back together slowly, why im so angry about Tom situation too. All my faults and mistakes I tried to erase and make sure I could move forward fresh, sadly things haunt me. Im so very very sorry.

Me: And I'm that fucked off now that I am going to send the whole conversation to everyone on your Facebook. And I will also report you to every cheater site on the Internet, meaning that if someone searches for you, all the nasty into will show up. You're not sorry.

Him: :( Please Im trying to stop my past. And Yes I am sorry :-(

Him: I tried to forget everything and finally lay everything to rest. I was really happy when you stayed over and i didn't care if tom saw your car. You don't have to believe me at all, but i was really sad when Tom started on you. I wouldnt want you to come for food with my mum and dad nor would go to that little wedding if I didn't want to build things up. I have tried to bury my past. Please don't hurt me more :-(

Me: You have never understood. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you. And if ever I think I have, I feel disgusted with myself. Even though some times, especially at times like this you really don't deserve the sympathy. I'm saying all this as facts, without emotion so take it for what it is. Don't you dare blame me for dragging up your past. I was so confused, I was going crazy. I couldn't work out what I did that was so wrong to deserve the treatment I got. It Made me wonder what I had done. So we talked. I told her what happened and she said that it pretty much summed you up and told me all she had to put up with... I'm completely
Disgusted tbh. I know you think I slept with Kristian behind your back. I can assure you I didn't. Ever since we started seeing each other now and then I cared about you. Always have. And I have no idea why but I always will. I hope one day I won't.

Him: You didn't deserve anything. Its why I was happy to start and try again and why Im confused and really upset that it had gone down the pan again :-(

Me: Really, referring to your message that you just sent, what are you confused about?

Him: Im saying i was really confused and angry that it just started getting really nice and tom thing happened. I was starting to get happy again and was really happy when you were here.

Me: That no longer has any bearing on anything. I shall tell you why. We have been getting into trying again for some time. Probably about 1.5 to 2 months. Well at least that Is what you have been saying you wanted. In that time, you were last online on your little dating site SUNDAY. This is AFTER we had been for the nice meal with your parents. And online on your other one 26 days ago. These are not the actions of someone who wants to try again.And now, after all this, we are done. I don't know why you behave the way you do. As hard as it is to find a decent person these days, I don't know why you would throw that away more than once. I can honestly say that I would never have hurt you in any way at all. I really hope for your sake that when you find someone decent again, you don't mess it up. I really do worry about this.

That's it. I am sorry it was so long!



Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.