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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N P D Thread - Part 11
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, July 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Detachment. It is a good thing.

It certainly is and detachment does not come easy for most of us BSs with NPDs. I have been detached from FT for more than 3 yrs so that isn't my issue, now it's repairing collateral damage my lousy marriage left me. Many aspects are over and gone but there are a few left.
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gma, I've had that same thought, and it is very scary! What if the final straws for me had not fallen? I would still be living in his world, and dealing with his crap every day. I so hate that idea that I am grateful for the struggles I face. It's hard getting my apartment in order! (DS has a daily 4H thing this summer, so he's not a lot of help. ) IC is challenging, but so much more fun than listening to EXN babble, gripe, moan and command! There are so many things that are more difficult than I would like, but I won't bore the Tribe. Yeah, this life is hard, but it's a freakin' piece of cake compared to the previous version!!

Detachment. It is a good thing.

Being in this Tribe is what helped me detach so quickly. I'm the kind of person who, knowing I'm facing something that can't be fixed, like NPD, will decide a course of action and stick to it. It didn't happen immediately, because I didn't want to deal with divorcing him and the fallout, didn't want it to be true, didn't want... etc. Detaching from him was easier in the long run, because I had so many people and articles telling me he couldn't change, wouldn't if he could, and OUT was the only way, that I shut myself off from him. I even worried I was an N myself! In fact, I asked several people if they thought I was! But I also read until I couldn't absorb any more, stopped till I got my feet under me again, then read more. I kept going until I knew there was no hope. And then read some more. Of course, I had a lot of anger that pushed me, too.

But detaching isn't always easy, and I know I was fortunate to have been able to. For some, it takes a lot of work, and I think that obsessive reading is just one way to help it along. That, and reminding yourself of the negative things you've already lived through that would continue if you didn't get out. It's the most important step of all, because otherwise, you'll jump right back on the hook. I was very determined not to do that.

[This message edited by SoHurt at 9:44 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday)]


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Day 2 of NC. Wow, this is so hard but I understand now that anything I say lays on deaf ears.

I am so hurt of all this pain of the last 4 years. I mean we were in false R for the year we have been seperated. I was all in but he was not. Then to learn that the one request of NC with AP and he is still in communication with her by text was the icing on the cake. He is too far lost now.
I could slap the shit out of myself for allowing myself to eat the crumbs of false hope. Urrggghhh.
He is a NPD I always knew but denied it, but now not living with him for over a year it has showed it ugly clown face. I hear it in his word and see it in his actions. He so into himself and self rightous about his freedom and entitlement.

Nothing of my feelings ever sink into his cold heart. The way he talks about how he wants to maybe date other woman and then gets mad at me because I am not with that? He is still married. Hello! While you all know the game of the NPD.
He text me this morning about son and I didn't text back, normally I would have taken that to engage and today is a huge step for me.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)37
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2459 | Registered: Aug 2011
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could slap the shit out of myself for allowing myself to eat the crumbs of false hope. Urrggghhh.

Oh yeah, that particular sentiment is one which was hard for me to purge. It's not easy to forgive myself. I think I have now, but occasionally I get flare-ups of self-recrimination.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 elementary school-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 8785 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could slap the shit out of myself for allowing myself to eat the crumbs of false hope. Urrggghhh.

I felt the same way, because he never truly left the OW... 12 years later, he was still in contact with her, and wondering why it bothered me! So if anyone needs a slap of that magnitude, it's me. Ease up on yourself, realize that not knowing what you know now, you couldn't have made a different decision, and put the blame where it should be: ON HIM. We try so hard to make our vows mean what they should, but an N never will.

The way he talks about how he wants to maybe date other woman and then gets mad at me because I am not with that?

Mine actually bullied me into asking my friend to "join" us. He wanted me to ask another friend when the first one said no, but I stood my ground. Totally NOT something I can do, at all. He also constantly talked about wanting "strange pu**y," and again wondered why I didn't think that was ok. These are some pretty sick people, and want us to just accept that what they want is what we should go along with.

Don't bloody think so!


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could slap the shit out of myself for allowing myself to eat the crumbs of false hope. Urrggghhh
I think we all do this sometime during the shit storm or D. I finally accepted my heart and love was always in the right place during the marriage. Co-dependent, yes but I did believe in us. Then I realized, there is nothing he could do or change to ever make me feel loved, safe, or content in the marriage again. Nothing. Everything I loved about my marriage was broken by infidelity.
When I learned what a NPD was, there was no hope. I thank God everyday for taking him out my life and giving me a chance to live a happier life than I would ever had with him again.

He is still married. Hello
Because of he's NPD entitlement, it's OK to him. If being married ever was factor to his decisions, he would have never cheated.
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I am so happy to hear that I am not the only wanting to slap themselves... But, damn it, all this time I wasted and knew deep down it was never going to work because he never really wanted to take accountabilty for anything except "Im sorry".
And knowing that in the last few months he started that A behavior again and then to find out he has been in contact with the slut, really put me over the top.

I don't think he will be with her but use her and be on the hunt for someone new that knows nothing about him or the A. As he doesn't ever want to look like the bad man.

And sense he has no remorse for what he did and feels entitled to do wtfever than guess what? He can have that life. I am so PISSED OFF.

I have learned alot from the last 4 years and it has been like standing in HELL! I mean actually painful Hell! I am to the piont that I can not even cry. I want to but nothing comes out.

I am just glad I moved out a year ago and don't have to look at him everyday. The space helps because I would most likely be engaging and the war would not end.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)37
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2459 | Registered: Aug 2011
HURTAGAIN1981
♀ Member
Member # 35178
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am the same. I feel only burning my own eyes out would be punishment enough for my stupidity in putting up with what I did. I do not know what the hell I was thinking. The past year and beyond have been absolute emotional hell due to him, his lies, cheating and at first his ability to come across as an innocent party and play the victim!

I hope to god that I never allow myself to be treated in such a way again and have the strength to bail at the first sign of any red flags.


Posts: 296 | Registered: Mar 2012
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Add me to the "want to slap myself" list!

All of the signs and feelings that things weren't right over the years and I ignored them all.

"He also constantly talked about wanting "strange pu**y," and again wondered why I didn't think that was ok."

My ex-idiot saved this for the end. Just weeks before I found out about "Justafriend" Ex started pouting one night while we were in bed. After repeatedly asking what was wrong, he huffed, puffed and signed then finally said...."Sometimes I really want to have sex with other women. I mean I REALLY want to have sex with other women!" I was in shock!!! He had never said anything so horrible and disrespectful to me and it came out of NOWHERE!

Oh yeah and he said that while we were both butt-naked in bed after sex (TMI sorry). The next morning I cried hysterically after dropping our kids off at school because I just *knew* something was seriously wrong. There is no way a man can say that to his wife and have any respect whatsoever for her and her feelings. But I let that jackass gaslight the hell out me. Actually I WANTED him to gaslight me. I wasn't ready for the truth I guess, especially when the change was literally overnight! He just couldn't understand why I reacted so badly. I got all kinds of verbal reassurance that it was just him being "open and honest" like I wanted! He wouldn't *actually* have sex with another women, it's just a "feeling" he was sharing with me! After all I've said repeatedly over the years that I wanted him to show his feelings and be more open and honest with me!

He wasn't being an insensitive jerk, he was giving me what I wanted! Honesty! Such a great guy! And when the affair was out in the open he wanted me to act like his new girlfriend was more a sister-wife that he needed split his time with. Then *I* ruined our relationship with my "drama". Sick bastard.

A slap and a kick in the butt is what I needed and it's what I got in the form of a completely remorseless jackass with an entitled attitude.

I still have a lot of trouble dealing with how DISGUSTING his actions and attitude was by the time I woke up and kicked his ass out. You couldn't tell him he wasn't anything but an upstanding man while doing the most hurtful things a man could do to his wife.

He is the scum of the Earth. I can't stand his smug little face and it takes every ounce of my energy from telling him what I think about him when something triggers a memory of something he did.

But I *slowly* learned that he would rather have my negative attention than none at all. He can't express his anger if I'm not expressing anger or sadness first. My pain is like food to him. He FEEDS off my emotions because he can't connect to his own. Silent strength makes him slink away like the coward he is so I work HARD at this point to keep my anger here or express it to a few family members and friends who know what I'm dealing with. I treat him like he barely exists at this point and it feels SOOOOO much better than dealing with his nonsense on a regular basis. I have learned so much from the experiences and advice of members here. I don't know what kind of hot ass mess I would be if I didn't know about this place.

[This message edited by Housefulloflove at 8:43 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday)]


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, July 23rd (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow are they all the same?
I mean how can the not feel anything for what they do to us? AND HOW THE FUCK did we end up with these people?
I mean I am nothing like him. I could never do this to someone.

Just tell me that he will be like this to someone else also so that I feel better? He always tells me he will treat someone else better than he treated me and he is sorry that I don't get to have the man he is now... He says he is a changed man and will be better to someone else.
oh oh but I am a beautiful wonderful woman and he is a fool but to much crap has happened.. The crap I did not do but I am punished for it. WTH is that?

Well his lose not mine.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)37
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2459 | Registered: Aug 2011
Housefulloflove
♀ Member
Member # 38458
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"He says he is a changed man and will be better to someone else.
oh oh but I am a beautiful wonderful woman and he is a fool but to much crap has happened"

Soooo..he's such a wonderful new man now and he's sorry you won't get to experience his new awesomeness!?!

Yeaaah..that doesn't sound narcissistic at all! Doesn't that just ooze humility and remorse! What an idiot. You're not missing out on anything but more of the same. He's still a narcissistic asshat but it makes him feel good to tell himself (and more importantly YOU) that he's a good guy who did a bad thing but knows better now.

No work required, just a declaration of having suddenly overcome all of his issues that led him to infidelity. He is now perfect again! The Narc version of being "cured!"

[This message edited by Housefulloflove at 12:30 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)]


Me-29 Starting over
ExWH-29 Probable NPD, PA, manchild
3 beautiful young children
DDay 1/20/13 Admits PA
No remorse so NO R. DIVORCED! 9/2013

Posts: 541 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: USA
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 1:02 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He says he is a changed man and will be better to someone else.

....they actually believe themselves ! The thing with NPDs is they will change to fit whoever they want to hook for their NPD kibbles. Change maybe zebra stripes to leopard spots ?? This is the nonsense that makes a NPD so dangerous when you don't know WTH you're dealing with.

Rule #2 for dealing with NPD spouse: NEVER believe their words. EVER !

[This message edited by gma56 at 1:04 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)]


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20275 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
Whatdoido333
♀ Member
Member # 36597
Default  Posted: 3:35 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never ever believe their words....that's a great rule to live by.

Apparently my NPD was planning on buying a house for OW. When I found the email that contained that info and much more and confronted he said that sentence in that message was from one of OWs friends!! According to him someone else's email got combined with his. He went thru the email line by line and told me which line he wrote and which line was hacked!! Come on...I'm not a rocket scientist, but I'm not an idiot!!

Then he told me that was what OW wanted to hear...that they would buy a house together, that she could go to his therapy session to discuss their new life together! Then he said what he wrote her was a lie!! Who the he!! Is he Lying to?? Btw...he wrote these emails when we were both out for the day with DD to celebrate my birthday! He just made the xcuse it was a work problem and walked away to email and call.

He thinks its ok to communicate with many women at the same time an b married. He call them his girlfriends!! His excuse "I'm an ass". So he admits it and wonders why people don't like him.

Sorry I'm all over the place....woke up and couldnt get back to sleep....this happened almost a year ago, I found these messages 3 months ago....and he still communicates with her. I know...I know... Need to get strong and get out. Been married over 30 years...so easier said than done:(


Posts: 114 | Registered: Aug 2012
Faithful w/Love
♀ Member
Member # 33128
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is easier said than done! When you are conditioned it makes it so much worse. I am sorry you still have to live with him and see this in your face, I did that also for many years but now he can have the OW. It won't be pretty because he knows she is a slut so he will sooner or later turn on her when she makes him mad and call her out. That is how he is. He holds on to everything someone does mostly me and uses it to hurt you later on.
The other night when we had our big blow out he was calling me a ho and slut because I called him and OW one. So he brought up something from nearly 20 yrs ago that had nothing to do with him when I didn't even know him and I told him about. Hummm, nice!
See I am the worse person to him yet he declears he loves me! AH yeah right, I am just his feed. Now, he can do it to someone else.
No he has not changed like he thinks because I see it when he gets mad.
He trys to be all knowledgeable and clam it is actually pucky, than says see I changed I would have probally hit you or something and I just walk away now. The thing is I see it in his eyes when he gets mad so it is there. I hear it in his voice and tone so it is there.
Yes, I am the one that provokes him because I want to express how the pain is horrible.... WTF?
Crazy making is what it is...


Lets see... I will do this to you, I will lie to you, I will cheat, I will treat you like shit, give you false hope, tell you what you want to hear, keep up doing what I did before, and you need to just shut the hell up and deal with me.

humm, no thanks.


BS(ME)40 WH(HIM)37
DD 19 and DS 15
Separated Aug 2012
Moved back home Oct 31 2013
False R. Still Lying.
Will be divorcing soon!
"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"!

Posts: 2459 | Registered: Aug 2011
SoHurt
♀ Member
Member # 1210
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Then *I* ruined our relationship with my "drama"
he is sorry that I don't get to have the man he is now.
He thinks its ok to communicate with many women at the same time an b married.
you need to just shut the hell up and deal with me.
The Narc version of being "cured!
they actually believe themselves!

These are, in a way, the essence of NPD. So scripted. So alike. So unchanging. No responsibility falls on them because we caused the problems, we are the losers for not sticking around to see the miracle healing they experience, we're stupid for wanting to live by a different (NORMAL) set of rules, we are wrong for thinking they are, and we lie about everything.

Funny... They think they are looking at us, but that darn mirror really reflects themselves, and they don't want to admit it. You know how a mirror image is sort of backwards? That's Narcissism in action. That old saying about the accuser is usually the one who's actually doing it? That is Narcissism in a nutshell.

[This message edited by SoHurt at 9:00 AM, July 24th (Wednesday)]


"My feet are finally beginning to heal after 25 years of walking on eggshells."
"I walk barefoot all the time, now!"
~Me, SoHurt, in HIS NPD TAIL HURTS CUZ I KICKED IT~

DIVORCED!! =D


Posts: 463 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: I am "Somewhere else." Next destination?
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Taking your life back is difficult. This is why IC is so very important. I was stripped down, like an old car, just the bare essentials of a human sitting up on blocks. I had no unique features (they'd been removed), no method of leaving (he abused the tires off of me). I couldn't even begin to imagine how to rebuild myself.

So my IC and my domestic abuse counselor worked together to find ways to empower me. They couldn't rebuild me. Only I could. But here's what they recommended:

Each week, pick a small rebellion. Well, we called it a rebellion. But it was a small thing that I'd changed about myself during the relationship. The very first one I remember doing was using onions when I cooked without putting them through a food processor first. X hated the feel of onions, bitched about it all the time, yet would eat them at restaurants. You know how Ns are, so I won't go into theories about this. But I remember making a meatloaf, his favorite food, and just chopping the onions as usual. Do you know what happened? What happened was nothing. Nothing. He'd forgotten the two-day tantrum he threw three years before about onions. Nothing happened. The world didn't end. He didn't choke to death (pity, really), he didn't yell. I don't think he even noticed. He did complement me on the meal.

The next rebellion was my hair color. Again, nothing.

Do you know what effect onions and hair color had? Merciful goats. I felt a confidence I hadn't felt in years. I put the wheels back on myself and it. was. glorious.

Months later, when I'd kicked him out and it actually took (long story), I wrote him a letter and put it on his very last box of crap. It was about 100 words of "I'm done, don't call" and then a bullet-point list of things I was reclaiming. Among those things were "Tobasco sauce on my scrambled eggs" and "Historical drama movies." I had new leather seats and a kick-ass paint job. I look back at that now, and I think what happened is that I was informing him that the lay pipes were next and he'd best get his ass out of the way before I ran him over.

I was crazy, but it was the good kind of crazy. I shouldn't have written the letter, but considering eight months before I was nearly dead in a hospital, I was lucky to be doing anything at all.

Get your IC to help you on this. You won't regret it.


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14039 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
residencywife93
♀ New Member
Member # 39695
Default  Posted: 9:13 AM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone,

I'm new here... but reading things from NPD made me realize last week that I need to literally lace up my nikes and run. and run fast.

I haven't gone all the way back through this thread, but does anyone think that some of these NPD tendancies come from their childhood? Not to get too pop psych here, but my H has one of the most disturbing relationships with his mother I've ever seen. To the point that when I moved out, mom moved in and hasn't left. Mind you, she lives 7+ hours away. I came home once to get some other items and she was wearing my clothes. She hoards frozen foods, and not just fresh frozen foods, I'm talking meat from 2005-2006. She idolizes him. I truly think she is in love with him and not her own husband. I think that is part of the reason he had an A, is because no one ever taught him boundries, control, and to learn how to self soothe.

I think about how mad I am that I have to go through this... but then I have to look at the other side and think, "WOW. What a great example of what NOT to do if/when I have kids with someone else"


Me: BS 27
Him: WH 27
Married 9/3/11
Together since 10/2006
DDay 5/28/13
Filed 7/22/13

Lacing up my nikes and running west!


Posts: 36 | Registered: Jun 2013
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

RW93,

Welcome to the thread, we call ourselves the 'Tribe'.

Your MIL sounds very much like me friend and her oldest son. She idolizes him, is ways talking about how good looking he is, how his biceps ripple, his 6 pack etc. I only have girls, it took me awhile to realize that no other mother of boys talks about their son that way. My DD is dating her son. They have been friends for almost 9 years. As long as the moms. She told my DD that she would be there for hr son, whether DD was around or not. What kind of person says that to someone they viewed as a niece?

My advice to you. Run as fast and as far away as you can. I can't say that to DD, but I am praying he grows a set and cuts the umbilical cord or DD realizes she will be playing mommy to him. Ugg sorry for the thread jack. And welcome


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4031 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Apparently my NPD was planning on buying a house for OW. When I found the email that contained that info and much more and confronted he said that sentence in that message was from one of OWs friends!! According to him someone else's email got combined with his. He went thru the email line by line and told me which line he wrote and which line was hacked!! Come on...I'm not a rocket scientist, but I'm not an idiot!!

oh, my! You are not an idiot but he sure is to claim "part" of the email, but not the "worst" of it?? mind boggling idiocy on his part.

Thren,

That is a beautiful story. Living in fear and living within the mandates we have learned is paralyzing. I love the rebellions as a way to empower yourself and see that the world does not end, that the N is not all powerful, and all knowing on every detail of every minute. But even better than that is leaving the N world behind and LIVING in a hair dye onion filled daily world. Truly beautiful encouragement.

Onward and upward Tribe!! I hope everyone joins us in Part 12.


Me: 43, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 12 DS 9
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5307 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, July 24th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My pain is like food to him. He FEEDS off my emotions because he can't connect to his own. Silent strength makes him slink away like the coward he is
OMG I needed this!!!!



D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 2795 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
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