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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men- Part 9
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 12:11 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The planning and thought to reach the desired goal, vs just grabbing whatever powerups as they present themselves.

stop it. two different worlds, lets not belittle each other...

tryin,
if your plan works for you, im happy for you.
to me, it comes across as "earning" her faithfulness. I dont charge for mine, sure as hell aint gonna "buy" someone else's... .reciprocity, ya dig?

If someone is content to live their life just trying to please another, then good for them.
me? ive got my own life to live, i like my life, i like my self, and while im willing to share it with one who seems deserving, im not willing to give it away.

My wifes infidelity was/is NOT a reflection of me, it was a projection of her.
I AM and have been a quality Man, and my wife cheated on me....
it happens.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 7:08 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Re: the vidja games...

I'm 29, my dad is 52, he originally got me hooked on games.....he always got the newest Nintendo, Genesis, etc., but I also had a healthy dosing of the old text based games....Zork, especially, or Hitchhikers. He was actually solid on the consoles, until they started having shoulder buttons....at which point I promptly ate him alive. I remember one fine day in which I beat him 8 times in a row on Mortal Kombat 3, before he beat me once. Now the only games he plays are online backgammon and/or Angry Birds with my son. My son in 6, and I take great glee in smashing him on games, because I know it's only a matter of time.

[This message edited by FacePunched at 7:28 AM, April 9th (Tuesday)]


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1618 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to participate in the game talk but I just took my steroids for the morning and I've written a 6 page long post at least 4 times now so all I can say is: FOR THE EMPEROR.

I have too much to chatter about when it comes to the gaming. Right now I am obsessing with Mount & Blade: Warband - probably the single best combination of grand strategy, RPG and melee-based FPS ever. Also, Orcs Must Die 2 is the game that I play right now when I want to lol at something.

Both my boys are gamers. I've been teaching them to play MTG even though I'm not really an MTG guy. Family game night is strictly board games though. We have some killer fucking board games. None of that monopoly shit. I am talking Catan Junior, Dixit, Castle Panic, the various Fluxx games, Those Pesky Humans, Magic Labyrinth, Ticket To Ride... man. Games these days fucking rule.

Except for the tabletop RPGs. FUCK YOU 4E.

Has anyone played Pathfinder? I have been looking at it but on the rare occasions I tabletop anymore it's with glommed 1E converted to 3E.


eta:

wrt controller based games, they have evolved the same way RPGs have.

If you look at Fallout New Vegas (I refuse to acknowledge FO3 other than to punch it in the mouth and call it a worthless milquetoast piece of shit garbage drone ass dropping money grub) compared to the original Fallout, they're both awesome games but the evolution of storytelling between the two is phenomenal. The depth and involvement of NV ranges from finding different fucking radio stations to listen to in the wastelands to various moral ambiguities of supporting or vying against entire factions and new governments, which was built off the original game.

It's not different with the twitch games, they require an entirely different form of planning. The depth and complexity of SMB Wii vs the original SMB is equally astounding but I think a better example of what I mean would be the RTS genre.

The phrase "no plan survives contact with the enemy" is solid. So an RTS game, you have to make plans, think ahead, but be ready to adapt immediately when shit goes south and your space marines are surrounded by a bunch of fuckin Orks that you failed to notice coming in on a flank. So you adapt and react and your ability to do so determines whether you win or lose.

Platformers and twitch games are just like that. The planning phase is there but the skill set is reactive and adaptive planning - okay I have 3 seconds to make it to THAT spinning platform what tools do I have, kind of thing.

Different ways of thinking, different problems to be solved, different games to be enjoyed. I think a game like Left4Dead can be very cerebral - in fact I think it presents a lot of difficulty for people who like to plan out shit RPG style because it's quiet, I see some zombies shuffling around the corner there.. footsteps what dude did yo OMFG ZOMBIES TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK all right, reload. It's not that it doesn't require thought and planning, it requires a different kind of thought and planning. Moving forward in pairs with the forward couple providing cover fields while the second pair comes in with weapons that can unload enfilading fire down the hallway in case the horde goes RAAAR and swoops in while the forward pair can cover any potential adds from different directions.

Okay I will stop now, sorry. MORE COFFEE!

[This message edited by StillGoing at 8:07 AM, April 9th (Tuesday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7119 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you look at Fallout New Vegas (I refuse to acknowledge FO3 other than to punch it in the mouth and call it a worthless milquetoast piece of shit garbage drone ass dropping money grub) compared to the original Fallout, they're both awesome games but the evolution of storytelling between the two is phenomenal. The depth and involvement of NV ranges from finding different fucking radio stations to listen to in the wastelands to various moral ambiguities of supporting or vying against entire factions and new governments, which was built off the original game.

I thoroughly enjoyed Fallout 3....until I played New Vegas. New Vegas is amazing. There were some things I enjoyed about FO3, but in retrospect it just feels like a tune-up before NV.


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1618 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FO3 would be fine if it wasn't peddled as a Fallout game. Visually it's amazing, but it's like what would happen if M. Night Shamalamadingdong made a Fallout movie. Complete and total failure to notice every nuance that makes the franchise great and hits on the commercially obvious stuff like Post Apoc Setting and Mutants and Shoot Things. Which are all cool but I can never feel anything but hate for it because it stripped away all the cool parts of the previous Fallout games.

NV took FO3 and put all that stuff in there so I had to adjust my worldview on "FUCK A FPS FALLOUT" and admit that, yes, FPS Fallout is totally cool and it was other shit I hated about it.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7119 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

to me, it comes across as "earning" her faithfulness. I dont charge for mine, sure as hell aint gonna "buy" someone else's...

My wifes infidelity was/is NOT a reflection of me, it was a projection of her.

ive got my own life to live, i like my life, i like my self, and while im willing to share it with one who seems deserving, im not willing to give it away.

Those points really stick out to me today. Thanks stilllovingher.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(I've actually been playing a heavily modded version of FO3 for the last month. In many ways, NV is a better gaming experience with much better storytelling and decision/consequence models, but I prefer the setting of FO3.)


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6690 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

no problem, Rye.
glad it made sense.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ive got my own life to live, i like my life, i like my self, and while im willing to share it with one who seems deserving, im not willing to give it away.

Sometimes I wonder/struggle with this one. When we marry, don't we intertwine our happiness and life with someone else's? Isn't that part of the deal?

Now I understand that doesn't mean a daily acceptance of shit that you wouldn't accept from anyone else....but sometimes I get vibe here on SI that the attitude is:

"Yo, I'm gonna live my life like you're not in it, you do the same, and if we stay married, cool, if not, cool anyways."

I get the idea that in order to save the marriage you have to be willing to lose it (setting boundaries with real consequences, etc.), but once you've reached a place of reconciliation, is that still an acceptable attitude to have or way to act? As if it doesn't matter whether the other person is around or not?

I'm not saying that my wife's happiness index should dictate my own, but shouldn't it matter to me in some fashion?

I mean, I know male/male roommates who treat each other more warmly than that. Not saying it's the wrong approach, because I'm still far, far off from reaching a place many of you already have, healing-wise.

[This message edited by FacePunched at 1:20 PM, April 9th (Tuesday)]


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1618 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the thing is, FP, is that quote is very simple. It leaves out the understanding that for ME to actually enjoy my life and like my self/life, i need to be a decent person, a giving person, and a loving person.
I will do whatever i can do to help my family be happy, however, i am a part of that equation as well, a fully formed living, breathing, thinking part of the equation.
If i were give up my *self* in order to "make" everyone else happy(temporarily, until their "needs" change) that leaves me a very unfulfilled person. And one that begging to be taken advantage of.

on the flip side,
if i live my life in a manner that jives with my own C.O.C., then a natural byproduct of that model is shared happiness....hopefully.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
greg888995
♂ Member
Member # 29244
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Been following in the shadows this very interesting thread.

ive got my own life to live, i like my life, i like my self, and while im willing to share it with one who seems deserving, im not willing to give it away.
Sometimes I wonder/struggle with this one. When we marry, don't we intertwine our happiness and life with someone else's? Isn't that part of the deal?

There is an old quote from the Talmud that discusses the delicate balance implied in the first quote:

If I am not for myself, who will be?
But if I am for myself only, who am I?
And if not now, when?

As far as the other discussion goes, I was a neutral good half-elf ranger in a younger life...


Me - BH (47)
Her - FWW (46)
Married 17 years
Together 19 years
3 kids
DDay #1 - 12/8/09 (EA)
DDay #2 - 12/18/09 (PA)
A ended - 2/21/10
R'ed - 2/19/11

Posts: 540 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Metro DC
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

nice


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2385 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
64fleet
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Yo, I'm gonna live my life like you're not in it, you do the same, and if we stay married, cool, if not, cool anyways."

This actually works pretty well, IMO.

I've given up on that whole "she completes me" bullshit long, long, ago.


time wounds all heels

Posts: 5360 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
wert
♂ Member
Member # 34478
Default  Posted: 2:30 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I am not for myself, who will be?
But if I am for myself only, who am I?
And if not now, when?

That is really great. The trick I think is what PF was getting at - none of it is an absolute state. It evolves...changes..just like people do as people do. I mean you establish your boundaries the best you can, enforce them, but have them be permeable for those you trust and love. WW's? They get to earn their way back in...with effort, time, demonstrated love and with a compassionate independence and most of all truth.

take care...



Posts: 1364 | Registered: Jan 2012
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unrelated.

For any of you using Stylish (for Firefox) who need a more anonymous-looking view than even MH's excellent SI skin provides, give this a whirl:


@namespace url(http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml);

@-moz-document domain("www.survivinginfidelity.com"),
url-prefix(http://www.survivinginfidelity),
url-prefix(http://survivinginfidelity),
url-prefix(https://www.survivinginfidelity),
url-prefix(https://survivinginfidelity)

{

html{background-color:#333333!important;}
body{background-color:#333333!important;
color: #f7dcb4!important;}
table{background: #333333!important;}
table tr td {background: #222222!important;}
table tr td a {color:#f7dcb4!important;}
/*table tr td img {display: none;}*/
table tr td IMG[src*="header-background"]
{display:none !important;}

IMG[src*="header_background"],
IMG[src*="content_corner"],
IMG[src*="content_dot_0"],
IMG[src*="corner"],
IMG[src*="header_full"],
IMG[src*="icon_"],
IMG[src*="amazon"],
IMG[src*="relationship_rescue"],
IMG[src*="auction_"],
IMG[src*="donations"],
IMG[src*="no.politics"]
{display:none !important;}


.smtxt {color:#f7dcb4!important;
font-weight: bold!important; }

.bodytxt {color:#f7dcb4!important;
}

.boldtxt {color:#f7dcb4!important;
font-weight: bold!important; }

blockquote {background-color: #000000!important;
border-color: #c2c2c2!important; }

}

Still needs a ton of refinements, but it's a start for a bare bones swap. Still trying to decide what I'm going to do with the left nav images.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6690 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heh. Just realized that it also removes the icons that let you edit your posts and shit.

It's a work in progress. I just discovered Stylish today...despite the fact that it's been one of the top Firefox plugins for like 100 years.

When I master this, I'm going to get me a smart phone, too.

So shut up. I'm too busy pulling my pants up over my belly to keep up with your interwebs.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6690 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WAL, your last post gave me a nose bleed.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Um, I'm stuck w/IE. Do I have to break into my laptops root system and self program?


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2087 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry I have weigh in . . .

F03 is better than FONV. F0NV has more to it, but F03 had much better DLCs considering they were done before every game had DLCs. Bethesda's less involved role on FONV showed through.

There I feel better.

I've given up on that whole "she completes me" bullshit long, long, ago.

Amen !


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2457 | Registered: May 2010
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, April 9th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've given up on that whole "she completes me" bullshit long, long, ago.

How about she complements me. Adds to the total sum of my life.


BH 50, WW 41
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 19(Hers),DS 8 Ours, DGS 2 1/2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2087 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
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