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User Topic: Spouses/Partners of Sex Addicts-10
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ghost, I am so glad you are ok. Even if it is not the ideal situation right now, at least you have some sort of game plan and are moving forward, even if painfully slow. Holding you in the light....

Puton, that is a standard practice for 12 step and for just SA therapy with a CSAT. They have to clear the chemical reaction that happens in their brain. Withdrawal I hear can be a biotch. IDK about that personally, my SAWH lied through his "celebacy" part of his early therapy. My understanding is when he starts Recovery Workshop group therapy (which was supposed to be this past fall, but fell through, now will start in January) he will have to do it then.

Hugs lastin and SK. My thoughts are with you during this time.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Jun 2011
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So poly results are in, SAWH's CSAT has them and called my therapist to tell him he has them and will review them with my SAWH tomorrow evening at his regular appt. Tomorrow both CSATs will be in the same office together, so I am sure he was planning to go over it with her then. She doesn't know anything about the results other than they are in.

So she suggested that we crash SAWH's appointment if I can get a sitter, because she does not have anything scheduled at that time, just in the spirit of expediting things since I only meet with her every other week now. Obviously digging up a sitter for Friday night on a day's notice is not easy, so I told her I'd see what I can do.

Then called SAWH to brainstorm sitter ideas, and talked about possibly letting them stay with a neighbor but I'd have to get back to them before bedtime. SAWH said, "Well, if the results are bad, are you sure you want to come home right away?" Seriously never occurred to me they might be bad, my convo with my CSAT was just about doing it quickly so I wouldn't have unnecessary anxiety waiting if I didn't have to. So I wasn't worried about it before, but now of course I am. So I have a call into a sitter the kids know and maybe I will get lucky and she can come.

Ugh. I hate this. It is so stupid. Worrying about it isn't going to help or change anything, and I really don't have any reason to believe it is bad news. You know, other than the lying to me for 15 years thing.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Jun 2011
Missymomma
♀ Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hathnofury - Yikes, that would stress me out. You do a great job of handling it and hope you find a sitter. Hope it is over quickly and painlessly!

AFM, I went to therapy today and we decided not to do EMDR. Mainly, I just want to see if I can handle all of these emotions. Not sure if it is severe enough for EMDR but if I feel like it becomes that way, then we'll do it. Off to handle the kids.


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
UCLAMOM23
♀ New Member
Member # 36653
Default  Posted: 3:36 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all,

I found out 3 months ago today that my husband has been cheating on me on and off for the past 15 years... ever since we reconciled from his "first" affair. We went to counseling for a couple of years, because our relationship wasn't "emotionally" fulfilling for him, which led him to make bad choices.

Flash forward to August 29, and I find out that his "first" affair really wasn't his first, and that he has been having insignificant sexual encounters since we were dating and even before that. That's 25+ years. He is at rock bottom and attending SA meetings and counseling and telling me that he is FINALLY getting past this behavior and he wants to reconcile. WTF???

I am completely hurt and devastated. We have three wonderful sons who think that we're the modern day version of Ozzie and Harriet. We have never had drama in our household and our kids have NO CLUE that anything is amiss. I've been faking it for the past 3 months when they are home.

I am in therapy, and my counselor, who is also an addiction specialist, has told me that she has no idea how I can manage to continue living in the same house. He sleeps on the couch, and has now turned into super dad. (Did I mention that he lost his job in July and is now always home? I have a home business, so he is always around.) He cooks, cleans, does homework with the kids, coaches, etc. He has also told me that if I divorce him, he will fight me in court if I think that I can keep him from seeing the kids EVERY SINGLE DAY. I know that is impossible, but the fact that he's threatening me makes me sick.

I guess I just needed to vent. I am exhausted and emotionally spent. I am trying to take care of myself, but sleeping about 4 hours a night for the last 3 months is starting to wear on me.

Anyway, I get physically sick when I think of telling my kids and splitting up. I wouldn't divulge all the sick details of their father's selfish actions, but I know that they will be DEVASTATED. They are very innocent kids -- we don't even know anyone who is divorced.


I am: BW 47 years
He is: WH 47 years and has suddenly realized that he's a sex addict

Married 19 years
Together for 25
3 sons: (17, 13, & 11)
D Day 1 - July 1997
D Day 2: 8/29/12


Posts: 32 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: California
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 3:59 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hath - i am sorry for what you are going through. Try to push it out of your mind as much as you can; keep yourself as busy as possible. Praying for peace and serenity for you. I tend to be a worrier and take things to the nth degree (e.g., "DD is listless from being sick; she must have leukemia," etc.) - I almost always get myself worked up for no good reason and everything turns out to be fine. I hope the same goes for you.

UCLA - I am a newbie, but wanted to send a quick note to say welcome to the best club you never wanted to join. You have been heard. I am so sorry for what you are going through; it sounds like you are in the "shell-shocked" stage right now.

I agree with your IC - I don't know how you could be in the same house with him ALL DAY LONG. That has got to be exhausting.

You said the kids don't know anything; what explanation did you give them for dad sleeping on the couch?

I hate the "faking it" part - so awful to have to do when you are the honest, faithful partner... Also, trying to keep it together in front of the kids when your world is falling apart is excruciating at times.

I don't like the threats your H is making re: the kids. Not. one. bit. Get thee to a lawyer to empower yourself so you will know what is likely to happen with custody, money, etc. He will no longer be able to bully you with falsehood when you have the TRUTH.

Hugs to you, UCLA - you have found a great place of support.

ETA: UCLA - can you get out of the house for a bit: go for a massage, coffee with a friend? I think it would be good to get out of your house to give yourself a break. Especially when the kids are home so you don't have to hold yourself together every single day. Out to dinner with some girlfriends and WH puts kids to bed?

[This message edited by numbandnauseous at 4:04 PM, November 29th (Thursday)]


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
NothngElseMattrs
♀ Member
Member # 35917
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi ladies. I hope you're all having a good end to your week and will have a peaceful weekend!

I got an email from H with this in it:

I am praying and asking my sponsor and other mentors about how much I want to tell you. In my eyes I don't mind divulging everything but people tell me its not healthy so bear with me for a little while I consider it.

My gut has been bothering me about his story for a long time now. This has me v concerned I'm about to get more TT.

Plus.... wtf, he will CONSIDER telling me?!?! Really? As if I don't have a right to know what I'm dealing with?!

I'm numb. What next.


"Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?"

Posts: 496 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: The wind before the storm
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((UCLA)))) My heart aches for you.

FWIW, there is no shame in asking for anxiety meds or sleeping aids from your IC or your regular doc. Your body is physically depleted and needs to be restored, and it won't get that way without some help. I wish I didn't wait almost a year to take meds.

So I am confused, he wants to reconcile but makes threats about visitation if you divorce? How is that conducive to the R he wants? I'd point that out if he continues to do so. If it was a one time threat that just lingers in your mind, I'd not worry about it because that is just part of the gaslighting.

So is divorce on the table? Have you lawyered up and everything? Because you don't have to tell the kids a THING until you have a realistic idea of how long that process is going to take. Or like Numb said bully you into thinking things that are not true or possible.

I totally agree you need some time out of the house. So he's superdad/mr. mom now, he can handle things at home and YOU go out and take care of you. Get a massage, get a pedi, go out with friends, whatever.

Hang in there. We are here for you.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Jun 2011
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NEM, my SAWH went through something sort of similar when he came clean. He told his sponsor, and he advised him to work with his CSAT to tell me through formal disclosure. That a professional needed to guide him through that process, because he could tell too much and scar me for life.

I don't mean you are not entitled to knowing what you are up against. I mean like giving graphic descriptions and stuff like that. You of course need to know body count, how much of it was unprotected, if it was in your house/bed, etc but you don't need to know he likes petite blonds that wear cowboy boots in bed and pour honey on themselves.

You need an advocate during disclosure. It keeps it from getting out of hand and disrespectful. Also keeps gaslighting etc out of the picture. CSAT is best but a S-Anon sponsor would be better than nothing.

[This message edited by hathnofury at 8:13 PM, November 29th (Thursday)]


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Jun 2011
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NEM - I have a different take on what WH wrote to you and it is what hath said.

I have been reading the SA books, Out of the Shadows and Don't Call it Love. In them, I do remember reading something about it not being healthy to divulge every intimate detail during disclosure because those are images that you will have with you for life and will cause so many more triggers for you. For instance, different positions: you will have triggers with those positions every time you have sex; different hotels: if there were a lot of them and they are in your town, you will trigger every time you drive by those hotels, restaurants, etc. So it sounds to me like he is trying to tell you everything (body count, etc. like hath said), but not so much that you have constant triggers.

It is a fine balance because I totally understand your concern about TT with all that has likely gone before this. The trick is to divulge enough so you know what you are dealing with and feel like you have gotten the whole story without giving you too much (unless you think you want all the gory details). A good CSAT should be able to guide you and him through what to disclose and how.

Hugs to you, NEM!


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
Missymomma
♀ Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 8:28 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NEM - Sorry for that email. My SAWH apparently was told by people at SA that they weren't for disclosure. So, I don't know why there is a conflict between CSATs and SA that way. Of course, it could just be the way the addict choses to hear it. I agree with Hathnofury, explicit details aren't important but I do want the whole picture. Not just what he choses to tell me.


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
Missymomma
♀ Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UCLA - Sorry you have found yourself here. This is a good group with a lot of information. I also don't like the way your SA is trying to threaten you. Please get as much physical evidence backing up the things he has done with his sex addiction. He is delusional if he thinks any judge is going to let him have access to the children every day. Also, make sure he isn't trying to paint himself as the "better parent" with the community. Make yourself visible and seen with the children more than he is. He could be trying to put himself in a better position in case you divorce him.

[This message edited by Missymomma at 8:34 PM, November 29th (Thursday)]


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UCLAmom
Well, your husband sounds like a hot mess, trying to be super dad and reconciling plus threatening you re: children! I suggest you post on the Separation and Divorce thread and ask about what to do there in terms of preparing yourself for a possible divorce and custody fight. There you'll find people with very good advice and experience - probably also a few people who know California divorce law.

In my state and most states, there is a strong prejudice towards no-fault, joint-custody. So your H could very well see your children nearly every day after your D.

I would take his threats very very seriously. My SA STBX filed for sole physical custody of my children as retribution for me filing for divorce. He proceeded to then ask for CS from me. It's ridiculous since he's an attorney and I've been a SAHM for eight years. But that didn't stop him.

What worries me in your case is that he's unemployed, and you're employed. I worry that he might be able to make a case to the courts that he's some sort of SAHD. This would not be unheard of. I have a friend-of-a-friend who is paying her "SAHD ex" $25,000 a month in spousal support.

So please talk to a lawyer or at the very least post on the S&D thread for more advice.

And if you have a lot of evidence, I would start collecting it in a safe place. Also, copies of financial docs, etc. Good luck.


Posts: 1433 | Registered: Oct 2011
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Numb put it so much more eloquently and logically than me. That is what I meant. I am pretty pissed off at SAWH right now so I am not explaining myself well. But I do know this, you cannot unlearn it when you find out too much, and it is uber-traumatizing. You do not want to go there. Even if you are gonna D, don't go there. Let someone else to there on your behalf if you need evidence for court.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Jun 2011
Missymomma
♀ Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What worries me in your case is that he's unemployed, and you're employed. I worry that he might be able to make a case to the courts that he's some sort of SAHD. This would not be unheard of. I have a friend-of-a-friend who is paying her "SAHD ex" $25,000 a month in spousal support.

So please talk to a lawyer or at the very least post on the S&D thread for more advice.

And if you have a lot of evidence, I would start collecting it in a safe place. Also, copies of financial docs, etc. Good luck.

Well put ChangingHope. I didn't even think about the fact that she is employed and he is not.


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Missy - congrats to you if you didn't "remind" WH to make appt with CSAT and if he did it all on his own! Also, I don't necessarily know if SA told your WH that they are not for disclosure; I have seen WH listen to the same thing I have at the same time and interpret it in a very different way - MANY TIMES. Reading these SA books, it talks about how SAs have a different version of reality, how they distort it - this was so good to hear, because so many times I thought I was crazy! I have heard WH on VAR talking about things and I am just like, wow, he really is spinning it so that it fits with exactly what he wants to do, isn't he? SAs have their own "unique" version of reality. It is really hard to figure out, because I don't have any other relationships where my sense of reality and the other person's are different. Just part and parcel of the SA. (sigh)

Ghost - is WH asking you to do things with him to keep up appearances? Thanks for your lovely wishes and good thoughts.

Ice - apparently, WH's head would almost snap off when an attractive woman walked by BEFORE he met me, but somehow he has been able to keep it in check since we have been together - I don't know how. Attractive women are a huge trigger for me, though - whenever we are out and there is an attractive or seductively dressed woman, I immediately look at him to see if he is staring. Miraculously, somehow, he never is. Sorry that you are dealing with that.

happyface - yes, I agree with all here that 90 day abstinence is pretty standard - that is what our CSAT plans to do with my WH. It supposed to cut the circuit or wiring for the cycle they are in with extra dopamine in their brain hanging around. Kind of dries it up to cut off the cycle and start fresh.

Kat - how did IC/MC go?

UCLA - such great advice from the ladies here:
-go to doc for sleeping meds
-see a lawyer
-post on Separation/Divorce thread for advice re: child custody, financials, etc.
-get financial docs, evidence in order and stored somewhere safe
-take gentle care of yourself, get out of the house
-make sure you are spending time with the kids and people see you/know about it. My L told me that since I am the SAHM, kids would be with me the majority of the time because judges like to try to keep whatever childrearing situation is in place the same after the D so as to have as little disruption to the kids as possible. So, if your state is like mine, you are at a disadvantage there. :-( If there is any evidence that you can show that the kids would be in danger to be with him all the time (child porn, acting out with teenagers, hitting on your children's friends), collect it and that will make your case stronger to not let him get the kids most of the time. May be time to step up the surveillance to see if you can catch him in anything.
I am so angry for BS's who are the breadwinners of the family - sucks so badly for you that they betray you and then you have to pay them money. Oh, that is adding insult to injury and really gets me so angry! I am so sorry.

Choosing: $25,000 a month in spousal support? Really? That's $300,000 a year. How do I get that deal? - Seriously. I am a SAHM.

Hugs to all SA spouses, you are incredibly wise, amazing women!


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
numbandnauseous
♀ Member
Member # 34525
Default  Posted: 11:15 PM, November 29th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have so much going on now, my head is spinning...

-We have 1st CSAT appt together tomorrow; I have no idea what to expect (will CSAT say WH is not SA? What will WH's reaction be if CSAT says he is SA? Will WH come aboard and do what he needs to do to get into recovery?)

-WH came home from business dinner last night and said he told boss that he is interested in moving to Europe (they are opening new office there and are looking for people to go). WH and I have talked about this; we both love to travel and would love to live in Europe, but (for me) NOT with all this SA stuff going on. (I told WH that I would be okay with moving because I didn't think it would get far and once he starts getting treated for SA, this talk of moving will stop in its tracks.) His boss was enthusiastic and excited that WH (and family) wants to go.

-I am triggering pretty bad this season because my D-day is Christmas of last year. To add to my anxiety, it seems like all the cheaters are coming out of the woodwork. I just found out that a dear friend (who has cheated on his wife before but is still married to her) is going to visit another friend of ours with his kids and is bringing his girlfriend. I have been planning on talking to his wife, sharing my story with her and telling her I am so sorry for what she has gone through, but now I also want to ask her if she knows that her WH is travelling with his GF. She may already know, but I still feel like I should make sure.

Then, a guy from junior high calls me up today; haven't spoken to him for 30 years! He said he "mistakenly" googled me; his story doesn't add up and I feel like he is fishing for an A. He also asks me about another woman that we went to school with who was attractive, doesn't ask about the unattractive girls. I want to call his wife and ask her if she knows he's called me.

At the same time, I have too much on my plate and can't deal with everyone else's problems right now - I need to take care of myself and my family. So, I need to get through the CSAT appt tomorrow and the aftermath and then I will think about what to do with these other situations. What do you think?


BS (me) - 41
WH - 48, EA with HS GF x 2
M: 10 years, T: 20
2 small children
DDay#1 - Christmas 2011 (OW#1)
Confronted - 4/6/12
DDay#2 - July 9, 2012 (OW#2)
He is an SA (Oct 2012)
Divorcing

Posts: 827 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: the other side
Missymomma
♀ Member
Member # 36988
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, November 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NandM - O.k., our SAWH's are too much alike! The fist few months into recovery (well, recovery lite) he wanted to move. Desperately wanted to move. I told him I was o.k. with moving after he had been sober for a couple of years but that it wasn't going to happen before that. He was looking for a "geographical cure" so he wouldn't have to work on himself. No way in hades would I move to Europe if I were you. You have a lot on your plate. As far as the wife, that is one of those situations that only you know. Without knowing the wife, there is no way to know how that would go. I'd just blow off the old classmate.

UCLA - I had another thought. Is there any way you could push SAWH to get a job? Tell him that is the best thing he could do if he wants to reconcile. It would just put you in a better position if you want to D.


DDay - 6/15/11
R started - 7/1/11
False Discl- 9/27/12
Real Discl - 2/12/13
Poly - 3/1/13 Pass!
Me - BS (46)
WH - 52 (SA, NA, WA)
Kids: 2 littles and 1 grown
The road to recovery is long and hard. Some days I am up for it and others not!

Posts: 1084 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Texas
lastin12
♀ Member
Member # 34709
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, November 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just needed to vent. My SAWH talked last night and he asked why I looked so sad recently. In my head I was like WTF jackass, what do you think! I told him I was sad and really depressed to trying deal with everything, especially through the holidays. I told him I was not only mad at him, but mad at myself for putting up with all the lies for years. I told him I didnít feel like I had much respect for myself and I didnít think he had much for me either. Then I told him I donít feel very attractive around him and very insecure. When we first met, I feel like I could have anyone and do anything I wanted, I was so secure, happy and vibrant. I said youíve taken that from me (I feel that way around almost everyone else, but him). I donít know what kind of response I wanted to get, but he didnít say much. He said he understood and pretty much agreed with me.  I donít know, maybe I was hoping for a hug and him telling me know matter what, heís here and willing to help meÖ He didnít.

This morning he was nice and seemed to pretend everything was fine. Maybe he wants me to end it because he canít, but I donít think I can keep doing this with without his support.


Posts: 95 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: New York
hathnofury
♀ Member
Member # 32550
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, November 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to all. Tis the season to be struggling.

Well, I couldn't find a sitter for tonight. Told my CSAT, and said SAWH is willing to record his session so I can hear everything, or do a conference call, if his CSAT is willing. I just wanted someone else to verify his results, and wanted to hear how his results impacts his course of treatment.

So my CSAT just emailed me and said, well, can you both do early tomorrow morning? Gah. No. Apparently you do not understand, last minute childcare, especially on Friday night or early Saturday morning, is not possible. I've now asked if we can put the kids in one of the other's CSAT's offices down the hall and keep SAWh's appointment tonight, since they will be the only people there.

Obviously this is not just a clean thumbs up discussion ahead. It could just be that he failed questions from the therapist about his life history, or it could be he failed the whole test, anything in between. This is NOT what I needed today.


BS 43, SAWH 38. M 15years, together 17. Body count in the triple digits. Both in recovery, trying to R.
Three kids under age 11.

Posts: 1408 | Registered: Jun 2011
putonahappyface
♀ Member
Member # 30269
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, November 30th (Friday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lastin & Hath - sorry you all are sad/struggling. Hath, if you lived in central KY I'd watch your kids for you anytime! Have you confided in a friend? I can't imagine that someone wouldn't help out, if they only knew.

I have positive news. SAWH agreed to try the anti managed-care only CSAT in town (Fri only) guy. He went this morning, & loved him! He knew his stuff, & actually took notes (other guy didn't). H is feeling so much better just knowing someone understands, & has a plan for recovery. So I feel much better today too! I prayed for God to send us the right person, & I feel as if he did! Hope you all have a peaceful weekend.


BS (me) - 49; SAWH- 50 (hurtherbadly)
Married 26 yrs
2 DS - 20 &16
Dday 6/4/2010. 2 EA/PA
11/15/12 update: found lots of porn on phone: SA discovery


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