Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: BrnEyes777 (45750)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Hoovering- Don't Get Sucked Back In
joeboo
♂ Member
Member # 31089
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, December 27th (Thursday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This really sucks. Pun intended. I'm married to a vacuum cleaner.

This really sucks. Pun not intended. I have described this scenario before and someone posted a type of disorder that is associated with this behavior. I live this. When I stand my ground, my fww backs off and is very nice. When I start to relax, "she" creeps back in. The only difference is that now I recognize "her".

Thanks for the post. Too bad we couldn't cure this with a really big cork.


Posts: 1214 | Registered: Feb 2011
ThoughtIKnewYa
♀ Member
Member # 18449
Default  Posted: 4:28 PM, December 30th (Sunday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump.

Posts: 11791 | Registered: Mar 2008
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 5:16 AM, January 23rd (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you!!!!

Also, sometimes their going NC with US sometimes causes us to run close to try to get into the Hoover....


The real them is the bad them, not the other way around.


Keep Calm and Happy On!

me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed


Posts: 2325 | Registered: Jan 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, April 8th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26197 | Registered: Aug 2011
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump for DecimatedHeart.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9952 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
DecimatedHeart
♀ Member
Member # 37657
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you SM, I really did need to read this! I am so easily sucked back in. He's not a Hoover, he's a Dyson!


Me, BS 43
Him WH 43 - LTA, EA/PA
Together 25 years
DD14 - the love of my life

DDay#1 11/10/2012
DDay#4 4/5/2013 (NC broken AGAIN)
DDay#5 10/8/14 - caught him reading an "old" email from OW.

D seems like the only option.


Posts: 132 | Registered: Nov 2012
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:18 PM, May 18th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26197 | Registered: Aug 2011
myperfectlife
♀ Member
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, August 4th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump.
Needed to see this today! Thank you thank you!


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
StepAside
♀ Member
Member # 29826
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, October 9th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't change any of your boundaries or allow them to be broken during a hoover.
Don't relax or give up on any consequences of previous poor decisions for the abuser.
Don't stop any healthy activities or relationships you may be engaged in elsewhere.
Don't assume the hoover will last forever.
Don't use a hoover to bargain for a better life. You are setting up the abuser to break a promise and setting yourself up for a disappointment.

I think I may be guilty of the last one, does that make me a sucker? (pun!)


Me 48yrs, king of douchebagastan- 50yrs STD infected bankrupt NPD sociopathic drunk thief
countless A's, he is a predator that targets losers like himself
Last Dday 04/12/2010-Divorcing if/when his cumdumpsters lend him some $ or balls to file

Posts: 1522 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: Ingersoll Ontario
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump. For myself so I don't forget and for others posting away after the holidays and WS feeling regret but not showing true R.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2501 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
badmedicine
♀ Member
Member # 41692
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, StillLivin!

Some of this applies to my current situation. I just don't want to wait and see. I guess that means I already know....


"The wishbone will never replace the backbone." -Will Henry
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it." -Dorothy Parker

Posts: 208 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
cl131716
♀ Member
Member # 40699
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, January 6th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep!


Me BS 31
Him WS 34 Trying4change
Together 3 years, married for one
D-day: 07/23/13 cybersex with COW
D-day: 12/27/13 found out he met and kissed a "friend" in 2011
"A clear and innocent conscience fears nothing."

Posts: 935 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Oklahoma
Kitty70
♀ Member
Member # 41939
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is good info. I was hoovered for 9 years and actually just broke up while being hoovered. It was a tough decision since during the most recent vacuuming some major changes were being made. It took strength to ignore it and to tell myself it was too late for any good-will gestures.


Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013

Posts: 98 | Registered: Jan 2014
loveisareddress
♀ Member
Member # 36474
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Turn off the vacuum sweeper honey.

You're wasting electricity.


Scorched earth-Like Peter the Great, he burns up his own territory in order to gain the upper hand while his own people suffer.

I don't need you to be happy. I just need you to leave me alone when I am.


Posts: 445 | Registered: Aug 2012
velvethammer
♀ Member
Member # 40437
Default  Posted: 1:11 PM, January 14th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump so I can refer to this too although I'm in break up land because I've already recognized his Hoovering and want no part of it.

Posts: 110 | Registered: Aug 2013
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:17 AM, January 15th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26197 | Registered: Aug 2011
Kitty70
♀ Member
Member # 41939
Default  Posted: 6:39 AM, February 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump...sigh


Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013

Posts: 98 | Registered: Jan 2014
cantaccept
♀ Member
Member # 37451
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, February 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for bumping. So need to remember this!

Why is it so hard to remember it is not real?


"So often times it happens, that we live our lives in chains and we never even know we have the key"

I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh boots5050
attempted R, it was all a lie

Divorced!


Posts: 1473 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Connecticut
Dobegirl
♀ Member
Member # 41837
Default  Posted: 8:00 AM, February 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for bumping this Kitty!

Omg this is so the jackass!! This is really good info. He has done this to me for years. And it worked on me.

He still is trying to do it with 800 miles apart between us. Constant texting at all hours. Sent flowers to my work on Vday. Sending me pictures of us. Trying to guilt me.

Only difference now is I'm stronger. It's like I came out of my own fog. I recognize it and his manipulating ways. And I'm not falling for it!!!

[This message edited by Dobegirl at 8:04 AM, February 16th (Sunday)]


Me- BS 44 Always faithfull
Him- WS 44
2 mo. EA/PA with 25 yr. old slut that stroked his ego, online profiles, CL ads
Married 8 years-No kids together
DDay-11/21/12
False R many different times fromJan/13 till Dec/13
On the fence.....

Posts: 152 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Northern Indiana
Kitty70
♀ Member
Member # 41939
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, February 16th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I needed this, especially after a Valentine's Day when all the stops were pulled out.


Me: BGF, 43
Him: WBF, 35
Together 9 years, moved in 8/15/2013

Posts: 98 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 53
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.