Topic: Question for BS's Reading This
Member # 18710
| Posted: 3:20 PM, March 12th (Tuesday), 2013|
Divorce would have been immediate if not for the kids-I have to think of thier best interest, not mine.
time wounds all heels
Posts: 5398 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
Member # 35512
| Posted: 8:51 AM, March 13th (Wednesday), 2013|
Dup post from Feb.
[This message edited by DWBH at 2:22 PM, March 17th (Sunday)]
Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~
Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
Member # 35975
| Posted: 5:31 PM, March 14th (Thursday), 2013|
She would have been out on her ass had it not been for our kids.
More so had I known how little she would do to work on her issues the last three years.
It may still not work out for us.. Only time will tell...
Posts: 77 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: California
Member # 34716
| Posted: 5:37 PM, March 14th (Thursday), 2013|
If not for the kids? Tough to say. My initial reaction is "no way" But I am not sure that's true...I mean..before the affair even with the kids, I would have said that an affair would end the marriage. It didn't. Answers to hypothetical's aren't always what we end up doing when faced with the reality of the situation.
Am I glad I stayed? More than anything.
My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.
Posts: 1296 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
Member # 29358
| Posted: 9:46 PM, March 15th (Friday), 2013|
I would never stay for the children, I did give my WH the chance for R because of the children.
I truly believe I would have been gone once the truth fully came out if we did not have children together.
Me - BW 40
Him - FWH 39
Her - MOW 47 Fat Assed Toothless Man Faced Whore!!!
DD#1 July 28, 2010 Admitted to EA. A went underground.
DD#2 August 19,2010 Admitted PA
Posts: 1005 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Michigan
Member # 30720
| Posted: 10:24 PM, March 15th (Friday), 2013|
I didn't stay only because of the children, but I certainly wouldn't have such a large collection of ddays in my signature if they didn't factor into the equation. I think DDay #3 probably would have ended it.
Me: BS, 34
Him: (SA/NPD)WH, 31
Multiple ddays since 2010 (Latest January 15th 2013) - not counting anymore!
FINAL FINAL DDay - August 8, 2014. I AM DONE!
Posts: 418 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: West Coast Canada
Member # 36228
| Posted: 10:30 PM, March 15th (Friday), 2013|
I am giving the gift of R because I feel I need to give it my all before giving up.
I'm doing it for my son, of course, but also for us.
H has some serious FOO issues and once he works through them all I do belive that we can be genuinely happy again. If not....at least I gave it a shot and put everything into it. No regrets no looking back.
Only time will tell......
Me: BS 33
Him: WS 40
Married 6 yrs, together 8 yrs
2 drunken ONS, on-again/off-again 1 year Affair
D-day Feb 2012
OW co-worker (they still work together)
Status: He killed our marriage! Working on a new one...
Posts: 120 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 36634
| Posted: 10:18 AM, March 16th (Saturday), 2013|
I love my husband, but I would certainly be divorced right now if we did not have kids together.
Me: 44 BS
Married 12 yrs
True R: 12/2012
4kids(11, 8, 5, 4mos)+ 2 Step kids I love like my own
Posts: 315 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Georgia
Member # 18222
| Posted: 3:45 PM, March 16th (Saturday), 2013|
I stayed for the kids, originally.
Then, I left for the kids. I couldn't let them grow up seeing that this was what marriage was.
Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 9
It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end
Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.
Posts: 4491 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
Member # 37945
| Posted: 5:10 PM, March 16th (Saturday), 2013|
I am five months out from D day. Three days ago I would have said only for the kids. Today fora moment I felt a twinge of..... For me?
Posts: 231 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: texas
Member # 34477
| Posted: 8:40 PM, March 16th (Saturday), 2013|
I would have left immediately if we didn't have kids. He worked with his MOW and admitted to not regretting what he did. The pain was so unbelievably immense.
I attempted to R with him for over 8 months after DDay. It was all false R because he kept lying and hiding. BECAUSE of our kids I divorced him. I had to set an example of how a husband should treat his wife and that women should not be treated like shit. I want to break the cycle of abuse.
Honestly... the kids are doing so much better now that we are divorced. They actually spend more time with their father now (we currently live over 60 miles apart) then when we lived under the same roof.
Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012
My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.
Posts: 652 | Registered: Jan 2012
Member # 28566
| Posted: 8:48 PM, March 16th (Saturday), 2013|
When you have 20+yrs. of marriage, a mortgage, and children it makes a huge difference! It would have been easy to just pack his crap and throw the boxes to the curb along with him. I love my FWH, but my life as a whole would have been destroyed along with my children, so I decided to stay. If it ever happens again, I will not hesitate to kick him to the curb, since that's what my oldest daughter said to do when I busted him!
Three amazing kids 20, 18 & 15.
D-day #1- EA with Bi-polar Ow Jan. 2010
D-day #2-EA with very unattractive co-worker
Sept. 18th 2014
I'm married to a narcissistic, compartmentalizing asshat!!!!!
Posts: 263 | Registered: May 2010 | From: ohio
Member # 36654
| Posted: 11:21 AM, March 17th (Sunday), 2013|
I stayed with XWH#1 for 20+yrs because of the kids. I finally had enough on the last DDay and kicked him to the curb. My kids both have extreme FOO issues becuase of the D.
WH#2 and I have no children together. All the children are now grown and gone. The reason I attempted R was because I loved my husband and didn't want to believe he was really the person he had become. On DDay#2 I finally realized he was that person. He thinks we are in R now, but he continues to rug sweep his LTA. I have reasons to be here now, but love for him and kids are not the reason.
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.
Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
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