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User Topic: Question for BS's Reading This
♂ Member
Member # 18710
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, March 12th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Divorce would have been immediate if not for the kids-I have to think of thier best interest, not mine.

time wounds all heels

Posts: 5398 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: deliverance land
♂ Member
Member # 35512
Default  Posted: 8:51 AM, March 13th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dup post from Feb.

[This message edited by DWBH at 2:22 PM, March 17th (Sunday)]

Me: BH, 43
Her: FWW, 41 (ThornyRose)
M: 16 years, together 19
2 Daughters: 14 and 12
D Day: 9/25/2011; Lies & TT to 5/4/2012
~Double betrayal; caught them in the act~

Posts: 729 | Registered: May 2012 | From: WI
♂ Member
Member # 35975
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, March 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She would have been out on her ass had it not been for our kids.
More so had I known how little she would do to work on her issues the last three years.
It may still not work out for us.. Only time will tell...

Me BH40
Her WW41

Posts: 77 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: California
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, March 14th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If not for the kids? Tough to say. My initial reaction is "no way" But I am not sure that's true...I mean..before the affair even with the kids, I would have said that an affair would end the marriage. It didn't. Answers to hypothetical's aren't always what we end up doing when faced with the reality of the situation.

Am I glad I stayed? More than anything.

My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.

Posts: 1296 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
♀ Member
Member # 29358
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, March 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would never stay for the children, I did give my WH the chance for R because of the children.

I truly believe I would have been gone once the truth fully came out if we did not have children together.

Me - BW 40
Him - FWH 39
Her - MOW 47 Fat Assed Toothless Man Faced Whore!!!

DD#1 July 28, 2010 Admitted to EA. A went underground.
DD#2 August 19,2010 Admitted PA

Posts: 1005 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Michigan
♀ Member
Member # 30720
Default  Posted: 10:24 PM, March 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't stay only because of the children, but I certainly wouldn't have such a large collection of ddays in my signature if they didn't factor into the equation. I think DDay #3 probably would have ended it.

Me: BS, 34
Him: (SA/NPD)WH, 31
Multiple ddays since 2010 (Latest January 15th 2013) - not counting anymore!
FINAL FINAL DDay - August 8, 2014. I AM DONE!

Posts: 418 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: West Coast Canada
♀ Member
Member # 36228
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, March 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am giving the gift of R because I feel I need to give it my all before giving up.
I'm doing it for my son, of course, but also for us.
H has some serious FOO issues and once he works through them all I do belive that we can be genuinely happy again. If least I gave it a shot and put everything into it. No regrets no looking back.
Only time will tell......

Me: BS 33
Him: WS 40
Married 6 yrs, together 8 yrs
1 child

2 drunken ONS, on-again/off-again 1 year Affair
D-day Feb 2012
OW co-worker (they still work together)
Status: He killed our marriage! Working on a new one...

Posts: 120 | Registered: Jul 2012
♀ Member
Member # 36634
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, March 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love my husband, but I would certainly be divorced right now if we did not have kids together.

Me: 44 BS
Married 12 yrs
True R: 12/2012
4kids(11, 8, 5, 4mos)+ 2 Step kids I love like my own

Posts: 315 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Georgia
♀ Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, March 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stayed for the kids, originally.

Then, I left for the kids. I couldn't let them grow up seeing that this was what marriage was.

Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 9

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.

Posts: 4491 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
♀ Member
Member # 37945
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, March 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am five months out from D day. Three days ago I would have said only for the kids. Today fora moment I felt a twinge of..... For me?

Posts: 231 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: texas
♀ Member
Member # 34477
Default  Posted: 8:40 PM, March 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have left immediately if we didn't have kids. He worked with his MOW and admitted to not regretting what he did. The pain was so unbelievably immense.

I attempted to R with him for over 8 months after DDay. It was all false R because he kept lying and hiding. BECAUSE of our kids I divorced him. I had to set an example of how a husband should treat his wife and that women should not be treated like shit. I want to break the cycle of abuse.

Honestly... the kids are doing so much better now that we are divorced. They actually spend more time with their father now (we currently live over 60 miles apart) then when we lived under the same roof.

Me: BW (35)
Him: ExWH (31) EA/PA with MOW coworker
Married 9 years, 2 small kids
dday 3/12/2011 divorced fall 2012

My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.

Posts: 652 | Registered: Jan 2012
♀ Member
Member # 28566
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, March 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you have 20+yrs. of marriage, a mortgage, and children it makes a huge difference! It would have been easy to just pack his crap and throw the boxes to the curb along with him. I love my FWH, but my life as a whole would have been destroyed along with my children, so I decided to stay. If it ever happens again, I will not hesitate to kick him to the curb, since that's what my oldest daughter said to do when I busted him!

Three amazing kids 20, 18 & 15.
D-day #1- EA with Bi-polar Ow Jan. 2010
D-day #2-EA with very unattractive co-worker
Sept. 18th 2014
I'm married to a narcissistic, compartmentalizing asshat!!!!!

Posts: 263 | Registered: May 2010 | From: ohio
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, March 17th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I stayed with XWH#1 for 20+yrs because of the kids. I finally had enough on the last DDay and kicked him to the curb. My kids both have extreme FOO issues becuase of the D.

WH#2 and I have no children together. All the children are now grown and gone. The reason I attempted R was because I loved my husband and didn't want to believe he was really the person he had become. On DDay#2 I finally realized he was that person. He thinks we are in R now, but he continues to rug sweep his LTA. I have reasons to be here now, but love for him and kids are not the reason.

M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 113
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