Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: LostinBluseas (45054)

The Book Club Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Rec - Book for learning to disagree 'well'?
Fidelia
♀ Member
Member # 38345
Default  Posted: 12:00 AM, February 16th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Both WH and I have communication issues, esp when arguing. We both have times when we conflict avoid before things bubble over. When in an argument, I often feel entrenched and find it hard to back down.

WH has been told to stand up for himself more and now in arguments he's started doing the same unhealthy stance as me...not a good idea!

We both need a book that helps us with communication and especially how to disagree healthily and respectfully.

I'd love it if it were an easy read, too


Me: BW 36
Him: WH 36 (randomusername)

"lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed" Heb12v13

"Oh God give me


Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2013
WakingFromADream
♂ Member
Member # 33934
Default  Posted: 3:18 PM, February 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I actually have three recommendations for you. I didn't find them easy since I had to stop frequently to consider what was written.

"Fighting for your Marriage" by Howard Markham

This deals with many aspects of M. I feel that it has some really great insights into communication in a M and some of the dynamics that can occur.


"Crucial Conversations" and "Crucial Confrontations" by Kerry Patterson and Joseph Grenny

I really like these because they really give a nice way to break down confrontations into understandable chunks and gives you a starting point to be able to work through it.


Me(35) XWW(36) DS(7) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13

Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.


Posts: 1148 | Registered: Nov 2011
Fidelia
♀ Member
Member # 38345
Default  Posted: 5:19 PM, February 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you


Me: BW 36
Him: WH 36 (randomusername)

"lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed" Heb12v13

"Oh God give me


Posts: 296 | Registered: Feb 2013
PippaPeach6
♀ Member
Member # 37523
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, February 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The book that helped us the most was Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by Dr. John Gottman. Complete eye-opener, especially for H. Our communication has improved 1000%. He also has DVDs of his seminars with wife Julie available on his website, if you're not readers -

eta: "respectfully" was key in improving our "discussions" and when/how to back down

[This message edited by PippaPeach6 at 11:32 AM, February 20th (Wednesday)]


Us: 50ish, madhatters, married 20 odd yrs
TT: May 2009 'til June
DDay for both: June 17, 2009
Me: 2x, same person, 1991
Him: 1.5 year PA (EA?) 2007-2009
Reconciled

Honey Badger don't care. - Randall


Posts: 386 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Flyover chic
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, February 21st (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We found "The Marriage you have always dreamed of" By Greg Smalley, very useful. It is an overall relationship book but much of it is about communication. Lots of great techniques.

It is a very christian focused book, which we were hesitant about at first but we got over it pretty quickly.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2596 | Registered: Aug 2012
PlainsGirl29
♀ Member
Member # 33520
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, March 6th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Check out marriage builders books by dr. Harley, "His Needs, her Needs" and "Lovebusters" may be a good start.

Posts: 1146 | Registered: Oct 2011
Helen of Troy
♀ Member
Member # 26419
Target  Posted: 11:52 AM, March 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NonViolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. This book can be life changing.

Posts: 4703 | Registered: Dec 2009
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, March 7th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

Written for business, but works well for me in family communications too.


FBS 54
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4132 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
Topic Posts: 8

Return to Forum: The Book Club Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.