Someone I met last summer and got to know a bit - the guy that goes to my gym (still, unfortunately) keeps texting me now and then. Always to fish to see if I'm available for booty call. Honestly, one time many months ago I did - it was nice, mutually understood that was all it was, and I haven't seen him since, although he still messages and tries once a week or every other week or so. I've actually told him that I suspect he has a GF and is trying to cheat with me, and I'm totally not down for that. Crickets. FWB, booty call, whatever... time and a place for it maybe - but this dude is too shady. Told him that too. I'll just go without sex...
We have some mutual friends via FB, which is how I actually met him in the first place. He no longer has a profile, but a girl I've seen on his (back several months ago) does, and her profile pic is a cute snuggly pic of the two of them together - just put up a few days ago. I looked through all of them, and there's a pic of them at what looks to be a Xmas party back in December, and a couple others.
He did tell me once that he was "hanging out" with is ex, but then a couple weeks later messaged me again, saying no they never did get back together.
Creepy little lying asshole.
This further confirms my theory that no one else will enforce our boundaries for us.
It is just that I'm about him doing this over... 5 MONTHS!
I'm not looking for a solution to a problem (him). He isn't a problem for me... I'm just posting about it because, well... we are all here for this reason and being on this side of it after what I was put through - infuriating...
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
Guess I still carry those sentiments, minus all the passion around them. Would I always out someone now? I'd like to believe so, but these things can be messy, and one might argue that all of us have already spent enough time in the infidelity sewers.
if he continues, you need to out him, send her a message introducing yourself, where you know him from that you slept with him once (give her a date and time, and that he keeps trying to get back with you when you've made it clear you are not interested. after you send that message, block his number or make it very very clear that you want NC... he's a loser and a creep.
I actually agree with this 100%, and if you do message her, you can just block her, they can deal with the mess, and at least MAYBE the poor girl won't get herself invested in him and be able to move on, think about it, she probably has already had a few red flags that have been ignored-didn't we all? So you may end up reaffirming her thoughts as well.
I don't know. I really do understand telling - several years ago, I would have without question. Now... I just don't know if I want to be involved in the drama, when really - I haven't seen him since October. Yes, he has tried several (many) times, and I have the text proof - but it hasn't happened.
Got confirmation of the relationship, and he tried again. Boom.
Story in General. And the denial is OUTRAGEOUS.