One thing that bothers me is the why and the youngness of them.
The why I will never understand. Using a body for sex no matter what the reason is just repulsive to me.
One of my WH reasons was because of FOO issues, he was unable to form relationships very easily in his teens and twenty's that he felt he was missing that experience in his life so that he felt entitled to it. It was his fantasy. Don't you have fantasies he asked me. Well not like that!
Another reason was the marital part one some of us have encountered. We weren't communicating well, I was sick (had depression), our kids were having problems, we weren't having sex, bla, bla, bla. Instead of coping with it in a constructive way he decided to go to the prostitutes.
Three, he quit taking lexpro an antidepressant that made him horney. So...
I can never accept those reasons. Maybe I just don't want to believe them. I don't think there is a reason out there that I will accept. I think if I were to believe them, then I would have to forgive him and I never will no matter what.
But the young girls. They were 40 years younger than him. He is 64 the youngest was 21. I did my home work and you can find older prostitutes. you have to look for them but they are out there.
I think of him as a predator. An old man lusting after young flesh. He first told me that he couldn't find anyone older, then he told me he liked them that way. It makes me sick.
I still can't get over that part. I hate for what he has done to my self esteem. My body image is so bad now.
I'm 55 and when I found out I humiliated myself to look like them, I bought teen clothes, got my hair styled in a punkish way, had a boob and tummy tuck evual. Everything I could do to make me look younger, because that was the way he liked them.
Sorry for the rant. I have many more comments, but I think I have said my piece for now.
I dumped him when we had three young children, and I had been mostly a SAHM during our M, and had no college degree.
I found ways to work part time, go to college and get a degree, and make sure my children were fed, clothed and had a roof over their head, without prostituting myself.
I am sorry but I will NEVER cut any slack to women who prostitute themselves, convincing others they have little choice and it is the only way they can put themselves through school or feed their family.
My XH never told me much about these women, and if they told him personal stuff or justified it to him because they "needed the money" he never told me about that. But then I never asked him many questions. The whole idea of prostitution is so repulsive to me that I really could not even deal with talking about it. And yet I was a married to a man for 13 years that has been to more of them than he could ever hope to recall.
bobbi sue- you go girl. You have showed the world that you can do what you need to do and not prostitute yourself. I think that deserves an applause.
Integrity. She has it.
My sexuality has been obliterated. My skin crawls at the thought. I know for sure, that I will never ever again, have sex with anyone.
I have not seen one other person who was married to a trucker who was addicted to prostitutes. I'm sure they exist though. At this point in life, even though it doesn't mean anything in my current life, I am curious to know if prostitutes knock on doors of trucks without any signal the person in side would be "willing."
I know this is an older thread, but I am married to a truck driver (was an automotive exec, now having a mid-life crisis). I wouldn't say he is/was addicted to prostitutes, but it was his problem. However, for him, it wasn't on the road. It was when he was at home and I was at work that he sought them out. He says the ones on the road are much more questionable and likely to be crack whores. Plus, he has a thing about cleanliness and he sometimes doesn't get a regular shower on the road, and says he was too filthy to be interested. I kinda believe him, although I know the lot lizards would do him anyway. I assume they are well accustomed to truck drivers not being the cleanest individuals.
But, yes, they do come knocking on the doors of the trucks when they are parked. Some lots have security to keep the hookers out. Others are a free-for-all and sometimes it is very organized and obvious with it all being arranged by CB. The truckers getting on a particular channel and saying they are in whichever lane in whichever truck, come on over.
I read an article in a trucker magazine lately that had tips for what truckers can do to send a signal that they do not welcome hooker intrusions at the door. The first one simply being to park close to the restaurant at the rest stop. They say the back lanes are the active ones.
BTW, it's not only women prostitutes knocking on the doors. Sometimes it's men.
Another poster stated that prostitutes can be students, mothers workers trying to make ends meet.
And sometimes they have high paying jobs and are just whores anyway. One of my WH's escorts works for a major automobile plant and probably makes around $30 an hour at her real job, and still escorts on the side. Says she's "exploring her sexuality". I said it would be nice if she'd do that with her own husband. Ya, she's married, too.
Not even sure what I can contribute to this discussion other than to say I am just dumbfounded.
Apart from ALL the obvious reasons to be shattered by their use of prostitutes, understanding the concept of sex addiction and then maybe even feeling compassion for their plight...
HOW do you even begin to imagine having sex again?
I am repulsed by him. He is tainted. The hands I once loved are layered with imprints of all the whores. The smooth olive skin I once enjoyed stroking is now impregnated with the perverted touch of others.
I've been told that I can heal from this and that with time and hard work can recover, BUT I don't want to overcome these thoughts and feelings. I WILL NOT.
Imagine something so repugnant to you that you'd rather do ANYTHING but that something, say... eating the regurgitated food from a cat or a deep fried cane rat.
Then imagine being told, that with time and hard work, you can overcome your feelings. Would you be willing to give time and hard work to overcome your feelings?
Let's see, he used prostitutes (20+ years younger than him), he lost his home, his family, was living in his office, his business suffered tremendously, he has herpes...
Thus far the confessions are:
1) Hired two different prostitutes on dif. occasions and paid them but sent them away because they looked like crack wh*res.
2) Hired two different prostitutes and did meet them and have sex in cheap motels.
Doesn't that sound like the 2 beers you tell your mom you had when she asked if you've been drinking?
SA? If not, then what?