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tired_and_broken (original poster member #34226) posted at 1:18 PM on Saturday, March 9th, 2013
Hey everyone! Haven't checked in here in quite some time. I really am compelled today to reach out to those of you convinced it's all over.
As some of my SI friends know, I was like the boomerang when it came to taking the crap of my ex-WH. I really felt to the bottom of my heart that I would die an old maid. That my heart was used and tossed away and I would never really be happy.
I have not dated. STILL. But the most amazing experience happened to me...
I work at a church now and a freak opportunity came up for me to go on a mission trip to Costa Rica all expenses paid. So I decided as part of NB I'm going to do things I don't normally do and I really liked the cause (working on an orphanage).
WELLLLLL,
Long story short, the amazingly gorgeous, ten years my junior driver for our group and I had a connection that I had forgotten existed.... We were flirting like teenagers, and by the end of the week sneaking away for a hug or kiss now and again...
Here's the biggest thing: I didn't even pack makeup. Wore baggy t-shirts and the jeans I packed because they are the ones my butt looks bad in and I didn't care if I ruined them, covered in like 2 inches of dirt each day, hair in braids, THIS GUY SAW ME AT MY WORST. But we had talks, and we sat and looked at birds, and he asked my dreams and I asked his... and HE TOLD ME I AM BEAUTIFUL. In fact his words were, "Beautiful hair...Beautiful face... beautiful YOU" after saying my name three times. ROMANTIC NOVEL MUCH?!
The tragedy is that I had to come home. I may not ever see him again... But I thought about how just a few months ago I would accept any scrap from my ex that wasn't too horribly abusive... and I realized this guy SET ME FREE. I came home a changed person. He took the chains off my heart.
THIS CAN AND WILL HAPPEN FOR YOU TOO ON SOME LEVEL!!!!!! Be open to it. Don't seek it out.
Love you guys!
PS- message me if you want pics or visit my facebook 
Divorced 04/12/12
I am FREE!
Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 3:46 PM on Saturday, March 9th, 2013
Where's the LOVE button???
I love things like this.
I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
ShellyBean2012 ( member #36268) posted at 3:50 PM on Saturday, March 9th, 2013
I'd like to add: Beautiful story from a beautiful person. 
Thank you for offering hope to all of us looking for our NB.
PS: And 10 years younger besides? GOOD FOR YOU! 
Me: BW (44 yo then); Him: WH (46 yo); No kids
DDay: 6-15-12
M 13.5 yrs; T 14 yrs (at the time)
Onward!
permanentpain ( member #38312) posted at 3:51 PM on Saturday, March 9th, 2013
Your story resonated deeply in me. I've been pretty much feeling horrible and low after this whole cheating and divorce crap (my last dd was Jan) and basically in a pity party mood. But, lately I have gotten asked for dinner by stable, good looking men, that think I am the sexiest thing in the world. Right now I know I'm not ready and I have said it, but damn it feels good for someone to appreciate you. So, you're story makes me extremely happy because we here at SI are fantastic people that fell for some broken conniving ones. And we deserve appreciation. So, rock on!!!
Me: 32 y/o, student and mom of two of the best kids in the world
Him: 33 y/o scumbag
Divorcing
Feels good to start laughing and feeling better again...
dlmos ( member #36839) posted at 4:00 PM on Saturday, March 9th, 2013
Very cool story!
BH (32)
DS - 7, DD - 6
Divorced
damncutekitty ( member #5929) posted at 4:39 PM on Saturday, March 9th, 2013
THIS GUY SAW ME AT MY WORST.
You may not have been dressed up and made up, but I'm guessing you were hardly at your worst. You were doing good work! I think that kind of thing makes people look beautiful.
12/18/15 found out my now EX boyfriend was trolling CL for underage girls. From the cops. The fun never stops.
better4me ( member #30341) posted at 5:19 PM on Saturday, March 9th, 2013
the topic line drew me in because it has been a "down in the dumps" month or two for me...thank you for sharing this today. I'm so glad your heart is healing!
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!
Bombshell ( member #36058) posted at 6:40 AM on Sunday, March 10th, 2013
Thanks for sharing the ups and downs about dating...just getting back into OLD. Had one experience that was awful...never had such an impersonal date in my life. Even though we both parted, saying, yeah maybe we could do this again....not. At the same point it was a great experience because I know I can do this....if I want! If I don't want to, that's okay, too. And I got a glimpse of what I don't want. That was so freeing! Even though it was a bad experience, it was what I needed. So I say, everyone...hang in there. Hope springs eternal
Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 2:16 AM on Monday, March 11th, 2013
tfs and good for you
Me: BW
Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.
Life's good.
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 2:20 AM on Monday, March 11th, 2013
Thank you for sharing such a positive, uplifting, hopeful story.
tired_and_broken (original poster member #34226) posted at 2:51 AM on Monday, March 11th, 2013
Thanks everyone! I seriously would not have survived the past few years without you all....And I used to read posts like this from people who made it through to the other side and think, "Yeah, but I'll never be that lucky." BUT I WAS. May not ever be that lucky again, but I have a sense of peace now that was lacking before and I am so much more ok now than I was even when married. <3 
Divorced 04/12/12
I am FREE!
RiotGrrrl ( member #9046) posted at 6:12 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2013
Very happy for you. I'll try and keep hoping
Thanks for your story!
RG
Me: BS (44)
Him: WS (45)
Married: Six years, D Day 11/8/05
Divorce final: Nov 06
Two amazing sons: 16 and 14
TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 6:40 PM on Monday, March 11th, 2013
Thank you for your post. It is always good to know that there is life after infedelity and divorce. I am glad you are finally celebrating your NB.
XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
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