SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I'm OK but it brought back a memory of XWH.

Today I fell, and my running partner immediately stopped, made sure I was OK, had us walk a little bit, and then we were both extra careful the rest of the run. She's wonderful. (Stupid glare ice -- cannot wait for this winter to be over!) Now I look like a toddler with a skinned knee!

Two years ago, I fell while running with XWH. First, he wouldn't stop; just kept running. Then, after I kept calling for him to come back (I thought I had seriously injured myself and he's a doctor), he finally came back, but was so angry. He kept berating me, telling me how fucking stupid I was for falling when he had warned me it was icy, etc. Told me to give him the house key as he'd finish the run and I could crawl the 2 miles back by myself, but he didn't want to wait in the cold, etc. Crying, I got up, realized nothing was broken, and we finished our run.

And then I forgot about it and took care of his NPD needs the rest of the day.

I'm pretty sure he wasn't cheating at that point (MOW was still living states away and they hadn't met yet) -- but what an asshole. It saddens me to think that I just took all of his abuse. It's actually rather hard for me to reconcile who I was even two years ago with who I am now.

Yay for new beginnings and surrounding myself with caring people who are nice to me!

Ugh. Falling while running sucks. Glad you are ok.

And what a fucking douchebag your X was. You probably kick his ass running these days, don't you?!

I really understand the scenario you described! It was not until I out of the marriage that I realized how I had become numb to being treated so badly.

When someone asked me how I was and really wanted to know I was taken aback! Is this really how people treat each other? It was shocking to me how I had grown used to being treated without basic human kindness.

You know you will never allow this to happen to you again.

Doesn't it feel wonderful to regain dignity?

Hooray for you!

I think that is wonderful..not that you fell, that sucks...but wonderful that you realized how far you have come!

I'm glad you are okay!! And glad you've got such a great running partner

tesla -- that was always a sore spot with him -- that I was faster.

Since he's an N, he must be better at everything, right? Except I qualified for and ran Boston (he was over an hour off) and beat him at every race unless I specifically stayed behind with him. I never gloated, and he always refused to stick around for the awards ceremony so I could get my age group award.

Thanks all; so happy to be away. And risingfromashes, you are so right that I will never allow myself to be treated that way again. A life lesson, for sure!

Wow, he sounds like a total doosh... Glad you're ok though. I gotta say hindsight is a bitch. Everytime I look back I see some signal that should of been glaringly obvious and for some reason I glossed over it.

I gotta say hindsight is a bitch. Everytime I look back I see some signal that should of been glaringly obvious and for some reason I glossed over it.

I know! There were so many red flags with XWH. I am taking a hiatus from dating right now, as I have to think more about red flag behavior. I think perhaps I was too fast with nexting guys in my first dating foray. I know that no one is perfect, but with the benefit of hindsight, I see so many reasons why I never should have gotten into a relationship with/married/stayed married to XWH. But are those types of behaviors inherent in all relationships and I'm just focusing on them now since I know what the outcome of the relationship was?

Wow, I'm glad your ok.

On a side note, what ever happened to chivalry? I'm not talking about the over the top dramtic stuff either but the basic "how a man should treat a woman" stuff. Not stopping or getting offended because your faster? He needs to grow the hell up and start acting like a grown man, and treating you with proper respect.

Cheating or not, there are basic rules of respect and decency. I am so glad you are doing better and have a proper support group around you.

Congratz on your NB

On a side note, what ever happened to chivalry? I'm not talking about the over the top dramtic stuff either but the basic "how a man should treat a woman"

That's the problem dlmos. Some of these men and women, (my STBXH) lack this basic human trait, hence the damage they conduct in the marriage. They don't care. They just want everything to be about them, unfortunately. Its as if we hold them back if we complain or are hurt in the process. "No time for your feelings" is the message behind that.

But are those types of behaviors inherent in all relationships and I'm just focusing on them now since I know what the outcome of the relationship was?

No, they are not. I have friends that are married and their husbands would NEVER leave their wives behind, especially if they are hurt. I think you are being hypervigilant due to all the hurt and pain you experienced and its normal to go through that. I think that you taking a break from dating is good and healthy.

[This message edited by permanentpain at 6:33 AM, March 10th (Sunday)]

You sure do deserve whole lot better than that jerk.

He did you a big favor by cheating so you could proceed by dumping his idiocy.

I hope to get an opportunity to run with you some day, but it will have to be a shorter run than you normally go on, and it will likely involve your wearing a lovely weighted vest!

I fell on a trail run a few years ago and it was surreal. Felt like it took 10 seconds to hit the ground since I stumbled so long.

Female runners are hot, hot hot!