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Newest Member: sandihaze (45362)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: My story
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to point out something in Hurt's post that caught my attention. I'm sorry, but false R hurt me as much as the A did from my WH and I am hyper sensitive lately it seems.

Anyway, in your post, Hurt, you wrote that she "did not want to talk" (or something like that). Then further down, you wrote "She gave up the A but with reluctance".

I am sorry, but these phrases really bother me. My Wh was like a light switch, but I was on top enough to know when he wasn't right there ready to step forward for our M, something was hugely wrong.

Like, when he hedged about changing our cell phone numbers. He was going to change mine, but he made up excuses not to change his, claiming job hirerers wouldn't find him.

Sorry to go off topic, it was just an example.

Your WW's clamming up bothers me as well, because it makes me wonder what else she is clamming up about.

I give you much credit for thinking of your children, I have that too but ours are much younger. In the past I would fight like a dog for an M, for almost anyone because I believed so much in the idea, but now I will say, don't forget yourself.

For instance, what if you do try for R and get hurt time and time again. Or have resentment or lingering things in your mind for the rest of your life with her? That's what I could picture for me, though our M is clearly over.

EA's I don't know much of but they scare me just as much as A's because the person in an M also needed someone to talk to, but why didn't they choose their spouse? And why would they choose to next time?

Just food for thought, like I've been getting and trying to sort through.

And one last thing...I remind myself how vulnerable I let myself be to the whims and fancies of other people by fighting for an M only I wanated. It took forever to realize that Wh didn't want M but would never tell me. To this day he's been gone one year, but has not told me.

Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 2289 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♂ New Member
Member # 38724
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well it's been a while since my last post and I have to say that this is so difficult to live with.My WS has been doing all the right things of late and is really trying to make this work.My work takes me away from home every month and I find this the hardest time to deal with.I am unsure if its a trust thing or the fact that I'm missing her when I'm away but I do know that I've just about had my fill of feeling like this.It would be a shame to throw it all away now but I need to get my head straight very soon as I feel it's affecting my work and my relationship with my family and friends.I wish there was a magic pill we could take to wipe this from our memories but would that really help anyone.Thanks for listening and any thoughts would be helpfull

Posts: 8 | Registered: Mar 2013
Getting to Happy
♀ Member
Member # 35200
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be gentle with yourself and give yourself some time to sort out your swirling thoughts and emotions that are all over the place.

An image of the way forward will coalesce from this madness in time.

Just one word of caution~
It's actions, not words that will really let you know what is what. Try not to make up stories in your head about how you would like her to be.

Trust me, she will show you who she really is, soon enough. And when she does...Believe.Her.

Take Care.

[This message edited by Getting to Happy at 1:16 PM, April 19th (Friday)]

WS him
BS me DD's 26, 25' DS 23
dd1 1-1-10, dd2 Mothers Day 2011, dd3 3-12-12 Hawaii trip with ho-worker...

Never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

Posts: 1141 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: La La Land
♀ Member
Member # 34823
Default  Posted: 3:55 PM, April 19th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would never suggest that anyone (unless they are in an abusive relationship) ever get a divorce

Cheating is highly abusive behavior.

end t/j

[This message edited by gonnabe2016 at 3:56 PM, April 19th (Friday)]

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

Posts: 8085 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 24
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