Just wanted to point out something in Hurt's post that caught my attention. I'm sorry, but false R hurt me as much as the A did from my WH and I am hyper sensitive lately it seems.
Anyway, in your post, Hurt, you wrote that she "did not want to talk" (or something like that). Then further down, you wrote "She gave up the A but with reluctance".
I am sorry, but these phrases really bother me. My Wh was like a light switch, but I was on top enough to know when he wasn't right there ready to step forward for our M, something was hugely wrong.
Like, when he hedged about changing our cell phone numbers. He was going to change mine, but he made up excuses not to change his, claiming job hirerers wouldn't find him.
Sorry to go off topic, it was just an example.
Your WW's clamming up bothers me as well, because it makes me wonder what else she is clamming up about.
I give you much credit for thinking of your children, I have that too but ours are much younger. In the past I would fight like a dog for an M, for almost anyone because I believed so much in the idea, but now I will say, don't forget yourself.
For instance, what if you do try for R and get hurt time and time again. Or have resentment or lingering things in your mind for the rest of your life with her? That's what I could picture for me, though our M is clearly over.
EA's I don't know much of but they scare me just as much as A's because the person in an M also needed someone to talk to, but why didn't they choose their spouse? And why would they choose to next time?
Just food for thought, like I've been getting and trying to sort through.
And one last thing...I remind myself how vulnerable I let myself be to the whims and fancies of other people by fighting for an M only I wanated. It took forever to realize that Wh didn't want M but would never tell me. To this day he's been gone one year, but has not told me.Ashland 13
The only thing that stays the same, is change. -M. Etheridge