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Newest Member: RMarred (44242)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: OW wants to be my FB friend??
dumped&replaced
♀ Member
Member # 34288
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi SI family,
I can't even remember the last time I posted here..my divorce has been final since last fall and we sold the house 1/31/13...life is mostly good..but I still have bad days and "what the hell happened?" moments and right now I need the kind of support that only my SI friends who have been through this living hell can offer...

OK...so...u could read my profile but long story short, EX is living with OW and has been since 12/11. Our kids are in college so no "co-arenting " involved really... I have never met her, contacted her , driven past her house or given her any attention whatsoever. If I bumped into her on the street I would not even know her.

Out of the clear blue sky I get a "friend request" from her...(yes I know her name and some basics, that's it)...

REALLY??? On what planet does she think I would ever want to be friends with her??? Can anyone give me their thoughts as to why, after a year and a half into this nightmare, she decides to ask me to be her FB friend???

I rejected the request...even though a small part of me was dying of curiousity...the whore doesn't even have a picture, it's just a silouette(so I still have no clue what she looks like), and she has a whole "6" friends on Facebook hahaha... none of them have anything in ENGLISH on their pages - seems she's straight off the boat from Poland..oh wait, my ex mother in law is her friend...and this is the same woman who told my children last summer that they will no longer come up from Florida to visit because "she doesn't approve of the situation"....REALLY???

My boys still refuse to meet her and ex mother in law is on their case about it now...tells them "she's really a nice person"...WTF??

So, just wondering if anyone out there has run into this and what I should make of it...thanks for listening:)


Dday: 8/22/11
Divorce final: 10/6/12 - my 22nd wedding anniversary
Married: 21 years, together 23 years
BS: 51
WS: 47
2 awesome sons, ages 19 & 20

Posts: 198 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: PA
phmh
♀ Member
Member # 34146
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two words: batshit crazy.

Don't even think about her anymore. You can't understand crazy!


Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark. -Michelangelo


Posts: 3266 | Registered: Dec 2011
Fooled Me Twice
♀ Member
Member # 34824
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no idea why she would ask to be friends with you - but seriously - fuck that bitch!

(I'd be tempted to friend her for a minute to look through her pics etc, copy what, if anything I wanted and then block her whore bag ass. But that's just me.)


ME: BS 33 (now 34)
HIM: WS 33 (now 35)
OW: 22, howorker (now 24)
July 2007: Porn found on computer along with profiles on dating websites.
DDay: January 16, 2012 - suspicious since Dec 2011
Divorced: June 11, 2013

Posts: 209 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Here and There
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Um...weird. No, make that batshit crazy like phmh said.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4543 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(I'd be tempted to friend her for a minute to look through her pics etc, copy what, if anything I wanted and then block her whore bag ass. But that's just me.)

We think alike. I'd not do it, of course. But I'd be very tempted.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9248 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
I.will.survive
♀ Member
Member # 34677
Default  Posted: 9:01 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Probably just being ballsy like the former OW in my scenario.

She sent a Facebook friend request to my BROTHER with her profile pic showing herself with my (then) husband. That means she had to stalk him out of my friends since that part is public. I blocked her once I found that out.

She also followed me on Pinterest.

These OW are jealous of us in some fashion.

Crickets. These women do not exist in our lives if we can help it, right?


Posts: 530 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: east coast
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well maybe the relationship is getting stale and she is looking for drama to keep it going...? Maybe she thinks he is cheating and looking for advice... hehe Rejecting her was the wise thing to do


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
GrievingMommy
♀ Member
Member # 28127
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My first thought even before opening this thread?

FUCK NO!

Yea, that. ^^^


Me - Now 36 y/o
WXH: Now 45 y/o and 18+ hrs away -NPD asshole now onto wife #3.
My sweeties: 5 yr old B/G twins. 90% custody (or more) since 14 months old.
D-Day 4/4/10 PA('s?) & EA's - D'd 7/11

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Upper Midwest
hurtbs
♀ Member
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmmm... Maybe xWH is now disappearing for periods of time and she's suspicious and investigating you. Maybe sh'es got her head up her ass and think sthat she's "being the bigger person" by "reaching out".


Me BW Him XSAWH
DDays - 1 was too many
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid


Posts: 15240 | Registered: Jun 2006
risingfromashes
♀ Member
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Clueless! Who knows what Bull your ex has been feeding her.
I see this as a pity situation.
Some fogs are thicker than others!


There is life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1585 | Registered: Mar 2004
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's really pathetic!

Posts: 1576 | Registered: Oct 2011
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think its drama seeking.

Ow in my case ends up sending an email here or there every once in a while. Not only tho me but my family me members too. So wierd!

And your ex mil is a loser for accepting the ow.


Posts: 1332 | Registered: Jan 2010
Militarybrat
♀ Member
Member # 37303
Default  Posted: 10:17 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This happened to me before I knew that my STBXWH was seeing her again. She sent me a request but I didn't see it for 2 days. I was tempted to accept it and look at her page but didn't. Instead I sent her a message and asked her why she sent me a request. Of course she never responded and removed her request right away. When I caught them she accused me of calling her cell, which I didn't know was hers and she had given to my X. So I brought up the Facebook request and she told me that was an accident. Maybe it was but it proved that she was looking at my page.
I think the OW is just trying to irritate you and is probably looking for drama. She probably thinks that it's been long enough that you have "gotten over it" and will accept her request.


Me: BS (37) 38 now
Him: WS (38) 39 now
OW: Only 23, now 24
DS: 4
1st DD: 4/2010 (same girl)
Tried R and MC
2nd DD: 7/12/12 and my child was there!

Posts: 94 | Registered: Oct 2012
PurpleRose
♀ Member
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sometimes FB does send out a blanket friend request if you click the wrong button - a friend did that to her whole "suggested friends" list on accident. Some people were complete strangers!

But I'm glad you declined. Why open THAT bag of unicorn shit?


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3523 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My MIL facebook friended the OW last week. I could not believe it!!!She has not talked to me in a year and a half bc they think I am lying and that her wonderful son is only "friends" with this psycho bitch from hell..

I hope I NEVER do this to my future daughter in law. And if my sons ever cheat on their wives I'll be in their face day and night.

the end.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1959 | Registered: Jan 2012
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, March 19th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, who am I kidding? I would totally do it! I'd do it in the middle of the night when I knew she'd be asleep, go through her stuff like a druggie looking for crack, then unfriend her half an hour later. She'd never know!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9248 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
confused51
♀ Member
Member # 29269
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, March 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She is batshit crazy. My Ex's OW wants to be a drinking buddy when I and friends go to a local resturant. Are you fereaking kidding me?

Posts: 139 | Registered: Aug 2010
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, March 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH#2's OW wanted us to meet up somewhere to talk on DDay#1. I was standing there in shock on the telephone, in another state, in a hotel room and she wants us to go have coffee and talk about it when I get home. Are you fu#$ing kidding me?? Seriously??!!? She wasn't calling to hurt me or anything like that, she just thought I should know that she has been my WH#2's GF for the last two years.

Who knows what goes through these crazy people's heads. Their life will be crap because they make it that way themselves and with their choices. Best just to smile and go on about your day and don't waste the headspace trying to figure them out. ((HUGS))


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
dumped&replaced
♀ Member
Member # 34288
Default  Posted: 4:58 PM, March 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, thanks everybody for all the responses - sounds like this is a common scenario...but like many of u said I will never understand these batshit crazy people - both her AND the Ex...and why waste headspace on it???

Life is short and neither one of them are worth one more moment of space in my head...time to focus on the present:)


Dday: 8/22/11
Divorce final: 10/6/12 - my 22nd wedding anniversary
Married: 21 years, together 23 years
BS: 51
WS: 47
2 awesome sons, ages 19 & 20

Posts: 198 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: PA
ruinedandbroken
♀ Member
Member # 29250
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, March 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a crazy bitch!

I decline her request and probably ask her on in what world would she think you would want to be friends with her?


“People who cheat feel that life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever have my soul surgically removed."
Me: BS 42. Him: WH 41 2 Kids 6&9
Married 14 yrs Together 21

Posts: 1560 | Registered: Aug 2010
Topic Posts: 29
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